Well, I am likely stepping over the line, yet again, but.....I just can't stay quiet on this matter.
Charity: The "Voluntary" giving of help, typically money, to those in need.
O.K. I grew up in small town B.C. When a family lost a loved one, it was almost like a buzzer went off in town. You could bet your socks that those folks in mourning would have all levels of food, placed on their door step. People understood, when you have suffered a loss, the last thing you are going to do, is make meals, or even, often, eat. These offerings were given from the heart. I did this more than once, and have had those gifts returned in my time of need. I remember answering the door to so many, who showed their condolences by a offering of food. It does give comfort. I may not have partaken of an awful lot of the food, but, those who stopped by to speak, had a drink, and desserts, and those of us, who had our minds numbed by grief, were able to offer food to others who enjoyed it.
I will tell you of another instance. Years back, my honey was suddenly without employment. It came at a bad time, lots of bills, children to feed, and no money set aside. Hey, wasn't the first time we hit hard times, and not the last. You never ever get used to it, but, after some struggle, it is possible to get through the mess. During this time, I had a very bad day, at my wits end, wondering how we would manage, and set off to the post office to get the new batch of bills, we could not afford to pay. In the mail box was an envelope, it was from my internet friend, who I had never met, but had been writing every day, for years. I opened the envelope, and inside (she lives in the States) was $100 in Canadian money! I was dumbfounded. Oh, I could certainly use the money, but..for a little while, I was almost insulted. I wanted to send the money back, I didn't need charity, and that is what this felt like. We could struggle, we could manage on our own, not going to accept a handout!! My honey was shocked when I showed him, like me, he was offended. It seems our pride was pretty damn huge. I mentioned to another friend what had happened, she told me, under no circumstances to even think of sending it back. She explained, my internet friend would be crushed. It felt strange, and I, for a moment, felt like a total failure, but that cash would buy groceries, and it would make things much easier. I wrote my friend, and she simply wrote me back, "pay it forwards". I accepted that money. Upon acceptance, and the understanding that, this moment in my life, I did truly need the money, but, one day, I would find another person who was in a bind, and I could return this gift to them, continuing the cycle. I got comfort, it made me feel cared for, and I realized what a gift from the heart this was. I had not asked my friend for financial help, she just felt the urge to give, without any expectation, without reward, just her way of helping a friend. I will never forget that moment, I will never forget my pride over riding sense, or the incredible feeling of warmth, that $100 gave me then, and the warmth of the memory of that gift.
Charity, voluntary giving of help! Yesterday I opened my e-mail. I read a public service announcement from someone local regarding a family who recently suffered a terrible loss of their home. I know the local bank has set up a donation box, the thrift shop opened their doors for clothing, someone found them a rental home, and they were not hurt, thankfully. That is all good, and charitable, and expected in small towns. However...it seems the wife/mother had just had previously scheduled surgery. The message went on to say, she was unable to make lunch or supper, and the author of the message was requesting members of the community deliver meals to the rental home. They even went so far as to request the meals be delivered in disposable containers, or cookware folks did not need returned. Then another message, stating that folks were to call a number saying what they were considering making, in case of duplicate meals!!!! Now, keep in mind, this is not the actual family requesting this, however....if I ever saw my name placed in something like this, I would be livid!! Yes, they lost their home, but, if they had not lost it, she would still, apparently be in the same position, and who the heck was going to make the meals? I don't think her husband is without limbs, in a family, should he not be stepping up to the plate, and making the meals after work?
I find this pathetic! I think it may be placed by a church, as they worded something about a "ministry". Well, this should have been requested in Church, not to the community at large. I don't care if it is a small town, and they are "Nice" people. If they are so nice, then their friends would be doing this meal thing.
The loss of a home, does not give free reign to have someone else take over every aspect of life. I assume they had insurance, so , although they will never recoup the personal items, and memories lost, they will rebuild. I am grateful that I have not suffer this devastation. But, I will not be making any meal, in disposable, or unneeded cookware. I will certainly not be coming up with something new and delicious to ensure they don't get a duplicate meal that they can store in the freezer until needed.
There is a fine line, between charity, and unreasonable expectations. Because you have been dealt a blow, and must accept help from others, to find your footing, is charity, and is something that gives that feeling of comfort, and care from your fellow man. To expect others to step in, and make your day to day life easier, is simply, an excessive desire for more of something than is needed.
I write this, not knowing if that family is aware of what was requested. I am not saying they asked that this request be made public. But, because this announcement was continued 3 times yesterday, I have to assume they have received more than one meal, by now. I know I would be mortified if, as a couple, everyone in town knew, we could not manage to find a way to feed our family, without a PSA!!
Go ahead, tear me to shreds. Just my personal opinion, and you know how hard it is to shove me over to the other side of the fence!!
Thursday, 2 May 2013
Sunday, 28 April 2013
Just to Clarify
.I got to thinking...Never a good thing. I realized that, perhaps folks will think I have a hate on for Chinese folks. I don't want anyone to think that!! I don't personally know any Chinese people, besides those who stay where I work. . I certainly am not about to judge a whole country, on certain individuals, that would be silly. Those who work with me, know that I have a soft spot for "Tseng" but, I don't know him. I just know, when he told me his name, that is what his soft voice sounded like, a door chime ringing...T'zing". I only know a few individual traits, some I like, some I don't like at all. But...I do NOT hate any race, creed, or colour.
The single reason I have ranted about Chinese, is, because my country appears to be selling our natural resources out, to another country. It could be outer Mongolia, whatever, a sell out, is a sell out. I realize times have changed from when I was a child. Back in those days, the Chinese were down trodden. They were a poor country. This is not so, any longer. It appears the rest of the world (well, North America) has managed to borrow from this country, and owe it immensely. It seems every country is trying to vie for the favoured place. People turn a blind eye to a country that does not follow the UN. I used to think UN countries would try to stop bad stuff happening. Now I shake my head. Although we know bad stuff happens in this country, we pretend we can't see it. We pretend atrocities do not occur in a place that can hand over a pile of cash to our leaders.
We have North Korea doing nasty things, and threatening countries, but....they are close knit with China, and heaven forbid we do something to offend the country attempting to buy ours. So, we just sit back, and hope for the best.
I just find this very wrong! I don't care if Timbuktu wants to be a communist country. I never lived in one, therefore, perhaps the majority of those who do, like it that way. Again, who am I to judge.
The most recent news story of the Bangladesh factory devastation, has everyone up in arms. Clothing that sells in our country, is being made over there for pennies, in unfit factories. OMG!!! Really, are people so very, very stupid they were unaware of that? But, hey, suddenly it is offensive, companies using people to produce stuff we buy, for lower prices. Do we, as consumers really get such a huge discount, because they pay low wages? Nope, not really. If a company can lower their production costs, are they in turn,going to pass it on to consumers. F*ck no!!They are just going to put more money into their pockets. When you purchase Joe Fresh, are you thrilled that it is only costing you what in truth is, an average price? It's not dirt cheap, nothing is dirt cheap!
So, what do we do as consumers? Well, you can stop buying Joe Fresh, but...trust me, just got a set of curtains from Sears, and guess where they were made? Pakistan!! Oh, I am sure the factories there are so much better!! Clue in, you know the truth, you just pretend to be blind. If you really want to make a difference, research, buy stuff only made in North America, and see how limited your purchasing is.
The governments have condoned this. They sit back, and allow business to use 3rd world countries to produce almost everything we consume. We don't have anywhere near the factories we used to. Companies are simply a head office in Canada. There are no jobs to go along with anything retail, besides the finished product.
Guess where we get the lion's share from? Yep, China!! This country does not accept our standard of human rights. They do not accept our standard of safety. Do you think mines, and factories in China are safe? Come on, admit it! You know damn well they have very low standards on anything. They are a country full to the rim with humanity. Folks are killed in mining disasters continually. Babies die, from plastic in the milk!! Cripes, people!!
So, to attempt to stop this rant from going south, I will simply attempt to clarify my feelings. I feel it is disgusting that our governments can shake hands, and put a for sale sign on everything that is a part of my country, to another one, that has achieved wealth by not conforming to basic Human rights, as we know them.
I do not have a hate on for the people of China, I have a hate on for my government bending over to kiss the A$$ of those running the country of China. I do not want to wake up one day, to find there are no jobs left in my country because...besides Joe Fresh, everything else is made in China, thanks to all the natural resources we have sold off. Don't think the fact that to get a job, you need to learn Mandarin is far off, because.....trust me, it is here already! Maybe not all jobs.... yet......
OMG....I just read this over and I sound like one of those crazy bomb shelter people!! Time to see the shrink...ooops, we don't have one here. Guess I'll just continue ranting!
The single reason I have ranted about Chinese, is, because my country appears to be selling our natural resources out, to another country. It could be outer Mongolia, whatever, a sell out, is a sell out. I realize times have changed from when I was a child. Back in those days, the Chinese were down trodden. They were a poor country. This is not so, any longer. It appears the rest of the world (well, North America) has managed to borrow from this country, and owe it immensely. It seems every country is trying to vie for the favoured place. People turn a blind eye to a country that does not follow the UN. I used to think UN countries would try to stop bad stuff happening. Now I shake my head. Although we know bad stuff happens in this country, we pretend we can't see it. We pretend atrocities do not occur in a place that can hand over a pile of cash to our leaders.
We have North Korea doing nasty things, and threatening countries, but....they are close knit with China, and heaven forbid we do something to offend the country attempting to buy ours. So, we just sit back, and hope for the best.
I just find this very wrong! I don't care if Timbuktu wants to be a communist country. I never lived in one, therefore, perhaps the majority of those who do, like it that way. Again, who am I to judge.
The most recent news story of the Bangladesh factory devastation, has everyone up in arms. Clothing that sells in our country, is being made over there for pennies, in unfit factories. OMG!!! Really, are people so very, very stupid they were unaware of that? But, hey, suddenly it is offensive, companies using people to produce stuff we buy, for lower prices. Do we, as consumers really get such a huge discount, because they pay low wages? Nope, not really. If a company can lower their production costs, are they in turn,going to pass it on to consumers. F*ck no!!They are just going to put more money into their pockets. When you purchase Joe Fresh, are you thrilled that it is only costing you what in truth is, an average price? It's not dirt cheap, nothing is dirt cheap!
So, what do we do as consumers? Well, you can stop buying Joe Fresh, but...trust me, just got a set of curtains from Sears, and guess where they were made? Pakistan!! Oh, I am sure the factories there are so much better!! Clue in, you know the truth, you just pretend to be blind. If you really want to make a difference, research, buy stuff only made in North America, and see how limited your purchasing is.
The governments have condoned this. They sit back, and allow business to use 3rd world countries to produce almost everything we consume. We don't have anywhere near the factories we used to. Companies are simply a head office in Canada. There are no jobs to go along with anything retail, besides the finished product.
Guess where we get the lion's share from? Yep, China!! This country does not accept our standard of human rights. They do not accept our standard of safety. Do you think mines, and factories in China are safe? Come on, admit it! You know damn well they have very low standards on anything. They are a country full to the rim with humanity. Folks are killed in mining disasters continually. Babies die, from plastic in the milk!! Cripes, people!!
So, to attempt to stop this rant from going south, I will simply attempt to clarify my feelings. I feel it is disgusting that our governments can shake hands, and put a for sale sign on everything that is a part of my country, to another one, that has achieved wealth by not conforming to basic Human rights, as we know them.
I do not have a hate on for the people of China, I have a hate on for my government bending over to kiss the A$$ of those running the country of China. I do not want to wake up one day, to find there are no jobs left in my country because...besides Joe Fresh, everything else is made in China, thanks to all the natural resources we have sold off. Don't think the fact that to get a job, you need to learn Mandarin is far off, because.....trust me, it is here already! Maybe not all jobs.... yet......
OMG....I just read this over and I sound like one of those crazy bomb shelter people!! Time to see the shrink...ooops, we don't have one here. Guess I'll just continue ranting!
Saturday, 27 April 2013
My Political Opinion
WooHoo....I decided, although I have folks who read this, in other countries, and provinces, it is time to state my personal political opinion, on B.C.'s upcoming election.
I can take the heat, but, I just have to tell you, all, I think we are totally F*cked, either way!! Unless, every single electoral district gets an independent in, you can kiss B.C. goodbye, until we get a grip, and start from scratch.
WTF!!! Do none of you remember what the NDP did before? Oh, suddenly they have turned a new leaf! They are going to make sure that the working person gets a fair shake, and all the money they throw into the coffers will not be handed out to social programs. Oh, yeah, and they are so frigging green, they will stop the pipeline, get a grip!!! They will not stop anything, except progress.You are looking for a knight in shining armor, and Adrian Dix, is not shiny, he is coated in the same crap as the others, beyond dull, he is rusted!! If you tie your hopes to this, you can expect a visit from me, when I can't pay my bills, because no one in my family has a job, and welfare doesn't cover the costs of living in the frozen north. So, in your minds, the NDP ideal of throwing money into what they like, is a good idea? Well, folks, where the h-ll do you think that money is going to come from? Right now, we are told we don't have money for education, health care, social programs, seniors, etc etc. Hummm....if you can show me, how Mr. Dix will dig more money out of his a$$ to pay for all of his promises, along with the promises to curtail the biggest tax dollars, the province is getting right now, I might just vote for him!!Get a grip on reality, this little slime ball has lied blatantly to the people of this province before, is he really the only choice his party can come up with?
I wonder why, like District Managers, politicians, are simply recycled. They screw up, fade into the background , and suddenly reappear to run again. Is there no one else?? My thoughts are, they are professional liars, and have honed their skills, and there are none better at lying. Politics is simply an area, where liars are the norm. The people of the province accept these lies, and like little blind bats, continue to allow these cheats to step up to the stage, and control our money, and our rights. We are fools!!
Oh, don't go thinking Christy is my choice. Not in a lifetime!!Little nasty chipmunk!! I am so glad we don't see each other in close quarters, because I would love to slap her silly!! She, also, is a lying sack of Sh*t!!Did you know, between herself and Mr. Anal, Campbell, they have devised a system in parliament, that does not keep a paper trail? Yep, things are passed simply through private e-mails, conversations, and phone calls. Nothing on paper!! Helloooooo...does that seem right? Folks have no clue what is happening, because there is no record on the proceedings. Really, people, these are the ones who claim they have your best interests at heart, well...if you ask me what I want, I don't think we are on the same page, chapter, or even, reading the same book!!I do not think, in a democratic country, that government should be able to sit behind closed doors, and make up rules that suit them, and then dump it on the people!
I am so fed up with closed doors, in-cameras, etc etc, which allows one small group of people to do as they please, without answering to those who employ them. Yep, that is what we do, we employ these idiots. We pay them, to have free reign with our province. I am beginning to wonder. do folks go into politics, with the single vision of that dangling carrot of pension? We have to continue paying even the biggest twits, once they leave (or get kicked out). They have the ultimate government job, the golden egg. We pay for every slime ball that last long enough, no matter what lies they have told, or thievery they commit. Is there not something wrong with this system?
Just think, if we had all the money we pay out in pensions to the losers, what we could do for our debt! Oh, they deserve this money, because they ultimately sacrificed for their province, or country. Helloo..again, they get paid!! Maybe the actual yearly income is not the top end, but, folks, we all know the perks. These people do not suffer because they left their jobs to play in government. I imagine the Green party folks might not get as much as the top two contenders, but, doubtful they are concerned about foreclosures, or having their utilities shut off.
I worry, beyond, worry, I am frightened! Those folks who work in government jobs, and with that, I mean, things like education, health care, social services, you are all looking to the NDP to make your lives better. I do not think that you don't deserve better, however, unless you get yourselves a huge raise in pay, which you then dish out ginormous tax dollars, who is going to pay for the budget to cover the costs?
I know the majority hates oil and gas, they used to hate logging, and mining. I have been through all that. Remember the "spotted owl"? The truth of the matter is, the money to pay for all those programs, must come from somewhere. It is always the nasty black place. The glitch in the vision of Utopia. The coal miners kept Nova Scotia going, the goldmines kept B.C. going. The tailing ponds, the mercury, the pits, the slag heaps, that was what made our province, one of the richest.Logging put millions into our pockets, the clear cuts, the big beehive burners, the trucks rolling down the highway, the harbors filled with logs.
Are we, as a province, suppose to rely on tourism? Are we to leave the whole pristine? Perhaps we can live off the land, again? Hey, I could!! Living off the grid, is my new dream!! But...the reality is, I can't afford to live off the grid! It is not the easy thing it used to be. I have to purchase land, that isn't cheap. I have to get my permits to use a rifle (ooops, not something acceptable) perhaps iIwould buy traps(also not acceptable) I would have to buy seed, have you gone shopping for that, lately? I would have to cut down trees, oh, and then, bathroom facilities...hummm...likely not acceptable!
Again, folks, Utopia does not exist!! It is not possible to have your cake, and eat it too!! So, the future holds one of two possibilities. The NDP will get in, and our debt will go through the roof, because it is easy enough to dish money out freely in the beginning, but, it is not a cornucopia. The bottom is closer than you think. Or, perhaps, somehow, Christy will manage to suck us in. Then, we can (especially us in the Peace) work our butts off, be drowned in a brand new Asian reservoir (in the Peace, again) send off all our LNG to China, be ruled by China, and have Mandarin as our required second language. We can allow folks in Vancouver, and Victoria to continue thinking they are so green they croak, while wages go down in the oil and gas sector, because the Liberals have handed out a new set of rules for folks who will allow our province to pay off our debt.
Like I said, this is my personal opinion. I am not out to ravage the land, I don't want oceans destroyed, I don't want forests cleared, I don't want lakes poisoned, or fish and wildlife to be wiped out. I want regulations, and rules, and policies, and a focus on the future. I want progress, but not at a cost we cannot afford. I do not want to have more programs, and social welfare increases, when a closer step to Utopia would be a job for all, and a sense of self reliance. I want my province to be capable to giving those who live here a quality education, a medical system that cares for everyone,and social programs that protect and support those in need.
That would certainly be damn close to Utopia, and the two folks who are in the running to control the future, are not offering anything close. Thank goodness I can step up to the plate, and actually vote for someone, he will be a small voice amongst the howling baboons, but, perhaps, he will have others beside him?
I can take the heat, but, I just have to tell you, all, I think we are totally F*cked, either way!! Unless, every single electoral district gets an independent in, you can kiss B.C. goodbye, until we get a grip, and start from scratch.
WTF!!! Do none of you remember what the NDP did before? Oh, suddenly they have turned a new leaf! They are going to make sure that the working person gets a fair shake, and all the money they throw into the coffers will not be handed out to social programs. Oh, yeah, and they are so frigging green, they will stop the pipeline, get a grip!!! They will not stop anything, except progress.You are looking for a knight in shining armor, and Adrian Dix, is not shiny, he is coated in the same crap as the others, beyond dull, he is rusted!! If you tie your hopes to this, you can expect a visit from me, when I can't pay my bills, because no one in my family has a job, and welfare doesn't cover the costs of living in the frozen north. So, in your minds, the NDP ideal of throwing money into what they like, is a good idea? Well, folks, where the h-ll do you think that money is going to come from? Right now, we are told we don't have money for education, health care, social programs, seniors, etc etc. Hummm....if you can show me, how Mr. Dix will dig more money out of his a$$ to pay for all of his promises, along with the promises to curtail the biggest tax dollars, the province is getting right now, I might just vote for him!!Get a grip on reality, this little slime ball has lied blatantly to the people of this province before, is he really the only choice his party can come up with?
I wonder why, like District Managers, politicians, are simply recycled. They screw up, fade into the background , and suddenly reappear to run again. Is there no one else?? My thoughts are, they are professional liars, and have honed their skills, and there are none better at lying. Politics is simply an area, where liars are the norm. The people of the province accept these lies, and like little blind bats, continue to allow these cheats to step up to the stage, and control our money, and our rights. We are fools!!
Oh, don't go thinking Christy is my choice. Not in a lifetime!!Little nasty chipmunk!! I am so glad we don't see each other in close quarters, because I would love to slap her silly!! She, also, is a lying sack of Sh*t!!Did you know, between herself and Mr. Anal, Campbell, they have devised a system in parliament, that does not keep a paper trail? Yep, things are passed simply through private e-mails, conversations, and phone calls. Nothing on paper!! Helloooooo...does that seem right? Folks have no clue what is happening, because there is no record on the proceedings. Really, people, these are the ones who claim they have your best interests at heart, well...if you ask me what I want, I don't think we are on the same page, chapter, or even, reading the same book!!I do not think, in a democratic country, that government should be able to sit behind closed doors, and make up rules that suit them, and then dump it on the people!
I am so fed up with closed doors, in-cameras, etc etc, which allows one small group of people to do as they please, without answering to those who employ them. Yep, that is what we do, we employ these idiots. We pay them, to have free reign with our province. I am beginning to wonder. do folks go into politics, with the single vision of that dangling carrot of pension? We have to continue paying even the biggest twits, once they leave (or get kicked out). They have the ultimate government job, the golden egg. We pay for every slime ball that last long enough, no matter what lies they have told, or thievery they commit. Is there not something wrong with this system?
Just think, if we had all the money we pay out in pensions to the losers, what we could do for our debt! Oh, they deserve this money, because they ultimately sacrificed for their province, or country. Helloo..again, they get paid!! Maybe the actual yearly income is not the top end, but, folks, we all know the perks. These people do not suffer because they left their jobs to play in government. I imagine the Green party folks might not get as much as the top two contenders, but, doubtful they are concerned about foreclosures, or having their utilities shut off.
I worry, beyond, worry, I am frightened! Those folks who work in government jobs, and with that, I mean, things like education, health care, social services, you are all looking to the NDP to make your lives better. I do not think that you don't deserve better, however, unless you get yourselves a huge raise in pay, which you then dish out ginormous tax dollars, who is going to pay for the budget to cover the costs?
I know the majority hates oil and gas, they used to hate logging, and mining. I have been through all that. Remember the "spotted owl"? The truth of the matter is, the money to pay for all those programs, must come from somewhere. It is always the nasty black place. The glitch in the vision of Utopia. The coal miners kept Nova Scotia going, the goldmines kept B.C. going. The tailing ponds, the mercury, the pits, the slag heaps, that was what made our province, one of the richest.Logging put millions into our pockets, the clear cuts, the big beehive burners, the trucks rolling down the highway, the harbors filled with logs.
Are we, as a province, suppose to rely on tourism? Are we to leave the whole pristine? Perhaps we can live off the land, again? Hey, I could!! Living off the grid, is my new dream!! But...the reality is, I can't afford to live off the grid! It is not the easy thing it used to be. I have to purchase land, that isn't cheap. I have to get my permits to use a rifle (ooops, not something acceptable) perhaps iIwould buy traps(also not acceptable) I would have to buy seed, have you gone shopping for that, lately? I would have to cut down trees, oh, and then, bathroom facilities...hummm...likely not acceptable!
Again, folks, Utopia does not exist!! It is not possible to have your cake, and eat it too!! So, the future holds one of two possibilities. The NDP will get in, and our debt will go through the roof, because it is easy enough to dish money out freely in the beginning, but, it is not a cornucopia. The bottom is closer than you think. Or, perhaps, somehow, Christy will manage to suck us in. Then, we can (especially us in the Peace) work our butts off, be drowned in a brand new Asian reservoir (in the Peace, again) send off all our LNG to China, be ruled by China, and have Mandarin as our required second language. We can allow folks in Vancouver, and Victoria to continue thinking they are so green they croak, while wages go down in the oil and gas sector, because the Liberals have handed out a new set of rules for folks who will allow our province to pay off our debt.
Like I said, this is my personal opinion. I am not out to ravage the land, I don't want oceans destroyed, I don't want forests cleared, I don't want lakes poisoned, or fish and wildlife to be wiped out. I want regulations, and rules, and policies, and a focus on the future. I want progress, but not at a cost we cannot afford. I do not want to have more programs, and social welfare increases, when a closer step to Utopia would be a job for all, and a sense of self reliance. I want my province to be capable to giving those who live here a quality education, a medical system that cares for everyone,and social programs that protect and support those in need.
That would certainly be damn close to Utopia, and the two folks who are in the running to control the future, are not offering anything close. Thank goodness I can step up to the plate, and actually vote for someone, he will be a small voice amongst the howling baboons, but, perhaps, he will have others beside him?
Friday, 26 April 2013
Stressing
So, I have been doing pretty darn good, for about a week now. I decided I was going to remain calm. Have a semi-plan for the future that is pretty appealing, something to work towards, and life is looking up. Work is slow as an escargot, but, keeping busy doing little projects, not pushed to the limit. it's all good. Crap has been sliding off , like rain on a oilskin(my own analogy) and I was pretty impressed with myself. I have been keeping a sense of humour, perhaps a tad on the sarcastic side, but humour , none the less.
I hate stress. It hits me like a brick wall, ties my stomach up in knots, makes every bone in my body ache, and sucks the life out of me. Then, I have a long climb back to "normal" which takes me weeks. Folks who don't stress likely live much easier lives, but, cripes, really, how do they keep it from affecting them? Everyone I hang with, has had their moments of stress, maybe they don't dwell on those moments for weeks on end, but, I do!!
So, been fluttering along for all this time, closing my eyes to anything that would set me off, and it's been a pleasant ride. However....sometimes no matter what, things pop out of nowhere, and Bazinga!!! Stress is blinking like a fricken Las Vegas sign, and today it happened!
Did my morning at work, drove home, let the dog out, and had an amazing (if I say so, myself) meatloaf sandwich. That was so good, I had two!! Lunch hour goes fast, in these parts, let the dog in, headed out to the car, backed up in the driveway, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something odd. Hey, you may think me amazing, to notice something out of the ordinary, with my pea sized brain, and poor eyesight, but there it was. It was a small hill on the side of my house......Hello, this requires closer inspection. Parked the car, got out, and walked over towards the hill. F*ck!!! One of the ginormous Spruce trees had come right out of the ground, and was heading over the fence in the direction of my neighbours cabin and house.
Yep, sure, sh*t like this always happens when my honey is gone for his 12 days away. BAM!!! Stress hit!!!Not sure why my idiot mind follows it's stupid route, but, back in the car, and off up the hill to my buddy's house to get help from her hubby." Aha", he says after my rush of explanation. It seems only moments before I drove into his yard, he had a visit from tree removal guys, and happened to have their card. OMG, my heart was pounding, my stomach was twisted, and I had visions of this tree destroying a wonderful neighbours property, and insurance and all that crap. He called them, and thankfully they were just outside town, and would turn around and meet me at home.
Now, I think you might have clued in, I am cheap, I am , as my mother would have said, so cheap, I squeak. For once in my life, I didn't even think how much this would cost, I just knew, I didn't have a choice. Back home, and bouncing, as the tree squeaked, and wobbled about. My other neighbour wandered over, and checked things out...ooooohhh, it's bad!! Crap!! Like everything else in a time of stress, it seemed to take these guys a lifetime to get to my place. They get out of their truck, and look. Holy cow!!! O.K. stress level up way more notches. Winds are gusting, noises are louder, and my neighbour is not home, and I don't know her cell. Yep, thing is going to cause some serious damage, got to do something fast. No work truck with a bucket, can't get to the top, because the damn thing is out of the frigging ground.
Funny, stress can cause some pretty weird sh*t. It was like little electrodes were stuck on my feet, why the heck could I not stop bouncing? I was like a pogo stick. Each bounce was filled with tension, like my muscles were going to suddenly snap, my back was stiff as a board, all I wanted was a glass full of whiskey. WTF!!! Why that seemed to be the answer, is beyond me, but, instead I ran in the house, and swallowed an Advil.
With my neighbours help, huge chains were tied around the falling tree, and the huge one in the middle of my backyard. I have been assured it is not going to fall on anyone's property. I sit here typing, and see the great big chain outside the window bouncing up and down, like a ships anchor. I have placed my faith in those who are experienced. The river has waves , and the trees are swaying. I hear each one , bashing my windchimes, and curling my toes. I can guarantee, I will NOT sleep tonight, with visions of the wind suddenly turning, and the tree crashing into my house, instead.
My neighbour has returned home, I informed her how close we came to disaster, and she thanked me, for being so observant Hah!! Just a fluke of fate, observant, I am not, well, maybe sometimes...She looks forwards to watching the performance tomorrow. I, will take yet more time off work(didn't go back after lunch) and, will have to dig deep into my pockets to get this bloody job done.
So, welcome back stress!! I gave it my best, really wanted to enjoy tranquility, but...the oilskin is off, and the crap is sticking once again!!!
I hate stress. It hits me like a brick wall, ties my stomach up in knots, makes every bone in my body ache, and sucks the life out of me. Then, I have a long climb back to "normal" which takes me weeks. Folks who don't stress likely live much easier lives, but, cripes, really, how do they keep it from affecting them? Everyone I hang with, has had their moments of stress, maybe they don't dwell on those moments for weeks on end, but, I do!!
So, been fluttering along for all this time, closing my eyes to anything that would set me off, and it's been a pleasant ride. However....sometimes no matter what, things pop out of nowhere, and Bazinga!!! Stress is blinking like a fricken Las Vegas sign, and today it happened!
Did my morning at work, drove home, let the dog out, and had an amazing (if I say so, myself) meatloaf sandwich. That was so good, I had two!! Lunch hour goes fast, in these parts, let the dog in, headed out to the car, backed up in the driveway, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something odd. Hey, you may think me amazing, to notice something out of the ordinary, with my pea sized brain, and poor eyesight, but there it was. It was a small hill on the side of my house......Hello, this requires closer inspection. Parked the car, got out, and walked over towards the hill. F*ck!!! One of the ginormous Spruce trees had come right out of the ground, and was heading over the fence in the direction of my neighbours cabin and house.
Yep, sure, sh*t like this always happens when my honey is gone for his 12 days away. BAM!!! Stress hit!!!Not sure why my idiot mind follows it's stupid route, but, back in the car, and off up the hill to my buddy's house to get help from her hubby." Aha", he says after my rush of explanation. It seems only moments before I drove into his yard, he had a visit from tree removal guys, and happened to have their card. OMG, my heart was pounding, my stomach was twisted, and I had visions of this tree destroying a wonderful neighbours property, and insurance and all that crap. He called them, and thankfully they were just outside town, and would turn around and meet me at home.
Now, I think you might have clued in, I am cheap, I am , as my mother would have said, so cheap, I squeak. For once in my life, I didn't even think how much this would cost, I just knew, I didn't have a choice. Back home, and bouncing, as the tree squeaked, and wobbled about. My other neighbour wandered over, and checked things out...ooooohhh, it's bad!! Crap!! Like everything else in a time of stress, it seemed to take these guys a lifetime to get to my place. They get out of their truck, and look. Holy cow!!! O.K. stress level up way more notches. Winds are gusting, noises are louder, and my neighbour is not home, and I don't know her cell. Yep, thing is going to cause some serious damage, got to do something fast. No work truck with a bucket, can't get to the top, because the damn thing is out of the frigging ground.
Funny, stress can cause some pretty weird sh*t. It was like little electrodes were stuck on my feet, why the heck could I not stop bouncing? I was like a pogo stick. Each bounce was filled with tension, like my muscles were going to suddenly snap, my back was stiff as a board, all I wanted was a glass full of whiskey. WTF!!! Why that seemed to be the answer, is beyond me, but, instead I ran in the house, and swallowed an Advil.
With my neighbours help, huge chains were tied around the falling tree, and the huge one in the middle of my backyard. I have been assured it is not going to fall on anyone's property. I sit here typing, and see the great big chain outside the window bouncing up and down, like a ships anchor. I have placed my faith in those who are experienced. The river has waves , and the trees are swaying. I hear each one , bashing my windchimes, and curling my toes. I can guarantee, I will NOT sleep tonight, with visions of the wind suddenly turning, and the tree crashing into my house, instead.
My neighbour has returned home, I informed her how close we came to disaster, and she thanked me, for being so observant Hah!! Just a fluke of fate, observant, I am not, well, maybe sometimes...She looks forwards to watching the performance tomorrow. I, will take yet more time off work(didn't go back after lunch) and, will have to dig deep into my pockets to get this bloody job done.
So, welcome back stress!! I gave it my best, really wanted to enjoy tranquility, but...the oilskin is off, and the crap is sticking once again!!!
Thursday, 25 April 2013
Dog Days
I have always been a dog lover! Oh, that's not to say, I haven't loved one or two cats, along the way, one in particular, I still think about often, and miss more than I can explain. But, it has been dogs since the beginning.
I can still remember the very first dog I had in my life. We must have got her when I was about 8 and my brother was 4. She was a puppy of Holly's dog, Cookie. Yep, I remember going to Holly's and seeing the little black and white ball of fur, and then the agony of having to wait until my Dad brought her home in his coat pocket. We named her Bootsy, Betsy, and she was the smartest Heinz 57 in the world! I can still remember the first night she stayed in our home, my Mom took my brother and I to the show. My brother was so thrilled, he stood up, and informed the whole theater, we had a dog!!
That dog gave us everything! She was entertaining, she was loving, she was a great listener, but, she was my Dad's dog. Oh, she loved my brother, and would lay in his bed with him at night, but Dad was her person. He was the one who fed her the square of Jersey Milk chocolate every night, he was the one who would whallop either of us, if we tickled the dog's feet too long. Bootsy, is in almost all our family pictures, she was family. She lived for 14 years, and put up with 2 kids without biting. No pure bred, she was one of a kind, and I was lucky enough to get another dog, many years later, that was very much like our first dog.
Funny, I had an awful lot of dogs, Bowe, Muppet, Freddy, Tibby, Chelsea, Betsy(yes after the first), and perhaps some that I have forgotten. Bowe was my "Circus" dog. Had him before my first child, and he could escape from anything. My Grandpa came from Scotland for a visit, and found this dog amazing, he is the one who called him the Circus dog, just like Harry Houdini. Muppet was my SPCA dog, he was flown in on the same plane my brother's first Lab came in on. The Lab flew inside the plane, my poor Muppet was inside the nose with the luggage! Muppet was my oldest child's , first dog, he was loving, and loved, but he did not have a good life, chewed up once, and then poisoned by a nasty neighbour, along with a few other pets, in town..
I had a wonderful cocker spaniel, Betsy, my one and only papered puppy. I had to part with her when we moved, because pets were not allowed in the place we lived. I hated my Honey for making me give up my dog, but it had to be done. That doggie went to distant relative's and was killed by a car, shortly afterwards. When we bought our hovel, I was promised another spaniel. Hah! My honey and the kids drove out to a rescue place, and returned with the promised cocker spaniel, and his friend Chelsea (a mix of all the "nasty" dogs and Lab.)I was ticked!! That dog was nothing like my pure bred, he was a dwarf border collie!! His name was Napoleon, and we called him Nappy. He was by far the smartest dog we ever had!! That dog grew up with my kids, he came home when my son was 5. He climbed the apple tree with the kids, he jumped on the trampoline with the kids, he gave us love, he listened, and he became family. Chelsea did not live long, I found her one day, lying dead in the yard, and buried her myself. Nappy mourned, and so did we. That was when he moved into the house, and became my dog.
We had Nappy for 16 wonderful years. I cry as I type this, I miss him just as much today, as I did when I had to say good-bye. He refused to die. He could barely walk, but would follow me about, 1/2 blind, many times getting to me, as I was turning to go back. He farted, he piddled without knowing it, but he just didn't want to leave. We had to put him to sleep. The day before this happened, I took a day off work, and sat outside on the ground, thanking him for the years of unconditional love he gave us. I didn't want him to leave, he didn't cry and whine in pain, but it was clear, to continue on, would have been cruel. My son was almost 21!! The day we sat in the house, and Nappy was not there, was a quiet, empty day.
Before Nappy left, however, my son brought his dog home. He had been told not to even think about getting a puppy, I refused to puppy sit, and put my foot down. Crap!! I saw the fat roly poly "great Gambini" when I went to feed the puppies one day. Oh, they were too cute!! But, I stuck with my decision, no puppy!! He didn't listen. Brought that yellow, 1/2 Lab, 1/2 golden retriever home. He insisted he was going to take care of him, his name was to be Diesel!! Hah! Within a week, I had renamed him, Rupert, he was spending nights in my room, so I would hear him and take him out, and my son didn't have a chance. The puppy became mine, when the name stuck, and he was an "early birthday gift".
This dog, came into my life when he was desperately needed. He helped ease the loss of Nappy, and now I can't imagine a world without him. He is spoiled rotten! I drive home every lunch hour to let him out, we book pet friendly hotels, when we travel, we go through the drive through, to pick him up chicken strips, if we have lunch out of town. We hit the Pet stores as soon as we get out of town, for things he desperately needs (toothpaste, and treats). He gets a new collar, every few months, he has a million leashes, he has his own pillow (which he refuses to use) he has his own blanket (doesn't use it) rubber maid dishes , so he can drink while traveling. Stops are made constantly while traveling, because he whines. He has more toys than my kids ever did!! Nothing like sitting on the couch and having the rubber chicken squawk. Guests are forewarned they will not leave the house without a coating of yellow dog hair. We no longer wear black pants. He is the sun and our world revolves around him!
My kids have grown up, poor old Nappy had to take second place to kids, but not Rupert. My Honey and I cater to him completely. My parents had an Irish Setter , when I left home. I remember telling my Mom that the dog was treated better than us kids ever were. I thought it was crazy, Mom cooking bones with garlic powder sprinkled on, for the dog!!! They brushed him constantly, he was spoiled rotten, king of the house. It is a cycle. I have become my parents!! Now when my kids tell me that I spoil the dog, and he is treated better than they ever were, I smile, and tell them..."One day, you will hear your children tell you the same thing". They will remember Nappy, like I do Bootsy, and if they are very lucky, they will gift their children with a childhood friend, who is always content to love and be loved,and, when their children leave home, the empty space will be filled with the "spoiled one".
I can still remember the very first dog I had in my life. We must have got her when I was about 8 and my brother was 4. She was a puppy of Holly's dog, Cookie. Yep, I remember going to Holly's and seeing the little black and white ball of fur, and then the agony of having to wait until my Dad brought her home in his coat pocket. We named her Bootsy, Betsy, and she was the smartest Heinz 57 in the world! I can still remember the first night she stayed in our home, my Mom took my brother and I to the show. My brother was so thrilled, he stood up, and informed the whole theater, we had a dog!!
That dog gave us everything! She was entertaining, she was loving, she was a great listener, but, she was my Dad's dog. Oh, she loved my brother, and would lay in his bed with him at night, but Dad was her person. He was the one who fed her the square of Jersey Milk chocolate every night, he was the one who would whallop either of us, if we tickled the dog's feet too long. Bootsy, is in almost all our family pictures, she was family. She lived for 14 years, and put up with 2 kids without biting. No pure bred, she was one of a kind, and I was lucky enough to get another dog, many years later, that was very much like our first dog.
Funny, I had an awful lot of dogs, Bowe, Muppet, Freddy, Tibby, Chelsea, Betsy(yes after the first), and perhaps some that I have forgotten. Bowe was my "Circus" dog. Had him before my first child, and he could escape from anything. My Grandpa came from Scotland for a visit, and found this dog amazing, he is the one who called him the Circus dog, just like Harry Houdini. Muppet was my SPCA dog, he was flown in on the same plane my brother's first Lab came in on. The Lab flew inside the plane, my poor Muppet was inside the nose with the luggage! Muppet was my oldest child's , first dog, he was loving, and loved, but he did not have a good life, chewed up once, and then poisoned by a nasty neighbour, along with a few other pets, in town..
I had a wonderful cocker spaniel, Betsy, my one and only papered puppy. I had to part with her when we moved, because pets were not allowed in the place we lived. I hated my Honey for making me give up my dog, but it had to be done. That doggie went to distant relative's and was killed by a car, shortly afterwards. When we bought our hovel, I was promised another spaniel. Hah! My honey and the kids drove out to a rescue place, and returned with the promised cocker spaniel, and his friend Chelsea (a mix of all the "nasty" dogs and Lab.)I was ticked!! That dog was nothing like my pure bred, he was a dwarf border collie!! His name was Napoleon, and we called him Nappy. He was by far the smartest dog we ever had!! That dog grew up with my kids, he came home when my son was 5. He climbed the apple tree with the kids, he jumped on the trampoline with the kids, he gave us love, he listened, and he became family. Chelsea did not live long, I found her one day, lying dead in the yard, and buried her myself. Nappy mourned, and so did we. That was when he moved into the house, and became my dog.
We had Nappy for 16 wonderful years. I cry as I type this, I miss him just as much today, as I did when I had to say good-bye. He refused to die. He could barely walk, but would follow me about, 1/2 blind, many times getting to me, as I was turning to go back. He farted, he piddled without knowing it, but he just didn't want to leave. We had to put him to sleep. The day before this happened, I took a day off work, and sat outside on the ground, thanking him for the years of unconditional love he gave us. I didn't want him to leave, he didn't cry and whine in pain, but it was clear, to continue on, would have been cruel. My son was almost 21!! The day we sat in the house, and Nappy was not there, was a quiet, empty day.
Before Nappy left, however, my son brought his dog home. He had been told not to even think about getting a puppy, I refused to puppy sit, and put my foot down. Crap!! I saw the fat roly poly "great Gambini" when I went to feed the puppies one day. Oh, they were too cute!! But, I stuck with my decision, no puppy!! He didn't listen. Brought that yellow, 1/2 Lab, 1/2 golden retriever home. He insisted he was going to take care of him, his name was to be Diesel!! Hah! Within a week, I had renamed him, Rupert, he was spending nights in my room, so I would hear him and take him out, and my son didn't have a chance. The puppy became mine, when the name stuck, and he was an "early birthday gift".
This dog, came into my life when he was desperately needed. He helped ease the loss of Nappy, and now I can't imagine a world without him. He is spoiled rotten! I drive home every lunch hour to let him out, we book pet friendly hotels, when we travel, we go through the drive through, to pick him up chicken strips, if we have lunch out of town. We hit the Pet stores as soon as we get out of town, for things he desperately needs (toothpaste, and treats). He gets a new collar, every few months, he has a million leashes, he has his own pillow (which he refuses to use) he has his own blanket (doesn't use it) rubber maid dishes , so he can drink while traveling. Stops are made constantly while traveling, because he whines. He has more toys than my kids ever did!! Nothing like sitting on the couch and having the rubber chicken squawk. Guests are forewarned they will not leave the house without a coating of yellow dog hair. We no longer wear black pants. He is the sun and our world revolves around him!
My kids have grown up, poor old Nappy had to take second place to kids, but not Rupert. My Honey and I cater to him completely. My parents had an Irish Setter , when I left home. I remember telling my Mom that the dog was treated better than us kids ever were. I thought it was crazy, Mom cooking bones with garlic powder sprinkled on, for the dog!!! They brushed him constantly, he was spoiled rotten, king of the house. It is a cycle. I have become my parents!! Now when my kids tell me that I spoil the dog, and he is treated better than they ever were, I smile, and tell them..."One day, you will hear your children tell you the same thing". They will remember Nappy, like I do Bootsy, and if they are very lucky, they will gift their children with a childhood friend, who is always content to love and be loved,and, when their children leave home, the empty space will be filled with the "spoiled one".
Sunday, 21 April 2013
Grandma
Last Friday, my oldest grandchild, turned 13!! The weird thing is...I can vividly remember the day I turned 13!! I have mentioned how I am not the brightest bulb in the pack (more than once) but, perhaps the reason I remember it so clearly, is...I thought magic would happen! Yep, sure did, everyone made such a big deal about becoming a teenager, I really imagined when I woke up, life would be totally different. Guess what, not an ounce of different. I didn't awaken, absolutely magazine cover beautiful, with a bosom, and stylish hair. Nope, woke up, looked in the mirror, and saw I was just me!! Major disappointment!! I was no different than 12, and 14 was the same.
However, my grand-daughter was different. Her Mom gave her a gift of a day at the beauty salon. I was there to see the" after", OMG!! It was magic. She appeared from the chair, all grown up. This was a 13 I did not remember.
I think on my big day, I was outside cutting sticks for the big birthday wiener roast! I likely had my despised "Pixie" cut hair, which probably was sticking up all over. Chances are, I wore either bell-bottoms, or...my faves, peddle pusher pants, with a shirt that did not match(never colour co-coordinated). My fingernails, unlike those of my glamorous granddaughter's, were probably chewed down to the quick. I certainly wore flip flops, perhaps with one side that the toe piece kept popping out..
The magic of Miss K's 13th, was, I saw the future. This is one beautiful girl! No "pixie" cut there. She has the stylish hair, thick and Selina Gomez-like. Her nails are not all chewed to bits. She dresses in the correct colours. She is the picture of a young lady.
Oh, I listened to her complain, she didn't like the curls (I did). The first thing she did, was straighten them out, when she got home. Geez, this girl does not follow in her Grandma's footsteps. I would have been so lazy, even if I didn't like it, I couldn't be bothered to take the time to straighten it.
Was 13 different when I was growing up? I actually don't think it was. I remember some friends, at 13. They had boyfriends, back in the day. I think I just didn't want to grow up! I expect I had some idea that growing up, sucked.
Now I watch my own little branch of my family tree, turn into a flower. Hellooo. no, not getting mushy, just stating a fact. It is very different, from a Grandma's perspective, than a Mother. As a Mom, you had your own way of raising kids. In my tiny mind, 13, was just a number higher than 12. Guess, because I remember, no magic.
Did this make me feel older? Well, yes, and no. To say it out loud, sounds like I must be ancient. This means I have a child who is old enough to be the parent of a teenager. Well, I suppose I could have had a child at 16, right, then if my child had their child at 16, I could be 45.....Crap, that's old too!!! No getting around it, when someone asks me how old my grandchildren are, they will know that I am truly over the hill.
However, to see her looking all grown up, is a strange experience. I know that, no matter what, I have certainly left my mark on the world. Grandchildren are proof, you will never be forgotten. No matter what, when they have children of their own, and those children ask about their parents, parents, I will be remembered. I am now the truck of a tree which will grow and branch all about. The future is wide open. I have 3 grandchildren now, with the possibility, way in the future, of even more!
I did not start as the milk and cookie Grandma. My youngest was 8 when my granddaughter was born, so I was still in the habit of using the word "No". I had to wait until the Mommy mode could be tuned out, and I could move onto Grandma mode. I know that I was not the "nice" Grandma for many years. My Grandchildren have 4 sets of grandparents (because both sets of "parents" remarried) I was often Grandma #3. Way down at the bottom end, because I kept saying "No".
I hope (although the last visit, my youngest informed me I was "the meanest Grandma in the world!") that I have evolved into a milk and cookie Grandma. I was told years ago, that "all Grandma's have ice cream", and I try to ensure there is some in my freezer at all times. I shop for all the goodies, before a visit, and give the kids free access to the fridge and cupboards. I am not there for all the special occasions, but, I try to share as many as I can. I no longer go off the wall when something is spilled, or broken, I am comfortable just enjoying the life that fills the house with children. I would be lost to have a Christmas without the grandchildren, because I know the silence of a home without kids on that day.
My grandchildren are all different. Like my children, raised exactly the same, but the personalities are totally unique. I see myself in them, often, I see their mother, my brother, my mother and my dad. I see the other sides of their grandparents, and uncles, and great grandmother. To be able to watch them grow is a wonderful thing.
So, I did not feel "old" to see Miss K, looking all grown, I felt a sense of pride, and knowledge that I , am a part of this branch on the tree that will have little branches into the world, forever more. Yes, I am grandmother to a teenager, and I am thrilled to be here to watch her, and her brothers grow. I did not have the pleasure of Grandparents when I was a child, they were so very far away, and although I loved them, I seldom saw them. My youngest 2 children, never had the chance to see their Grandmothers, so, to be able to be a Grandmother, for all these years, is a gift, for both sides(I hope). How they remember me, will be up to them, but...no matter how, I will be forever a part of their lives!
Grandchildren are truly a record of the past, and a glimpse into the future, and I am very proud of my record, and looking forwards to the future.
However, my grand-daughter was different. Her Mom gave her a gift of a day at the beauty salon. I was there to see the" after", OMG!! It was magic. She appeared from the chair, all grown up. This was a 13 I did not remember.
I think on my big day, I was outside cutting sticks for the big birthday wiener roast! I likely had my despised "Pixie" cut hair, which probably was sticking up all over. Chances are, I wore either bell-bottoms, or...my faves, peddle pusher pants, with a shirt that did not match(never colour co-coordinated). My fingernails, unlike those of my glamorous granddaughter's, were probably chewed down to the quick. I certainly wore flip flops, perhaps with one side that the toe piece kept popping out..
The magic of Miss K's 13th, was, I saw the future. This is one beautiful girl! No "pixie" cut there. She has the stylish hair, thick and Selina Gomez-like. Her nails are not all chewed to bits. She dresses in the correct colours. She is the picture of a young lady.
Oh, I listened to her complain, she didn't like the curls (I did). The first thing she did, was straighten them out, when she got home. Geez, this girl does not follow in her Grandma's footsteps. I would have been so lazy, even if I didn't like it, I couldn't be bothered to take the time to straighten it.
Was 13 different when I was growing up? I actually don't think it was. I remember some friends, at 13. They had boyfriends, back in the day. I think I just didn't want to grow up! I expect I had some idea that growing up, sucked.
Now I watch my own little branch of my family tree, turn into a flower. Hellooo. no, not getting mushy, just stating a fact. It is very different, from a Grandma's perspective, than a Mother. As a Mom, you had your own way of raising kids. In my tiny mind, 13, was just a number higher than 12. Guess, because I remember, no magic.
Did this make me feel older? Well, yes, and no. To say it out loud, sounds like I must be ancient. This means I have a child who is old enough to be the parent of a teenager. Well, I suppose I could have had a child at 16, right, then if my child had their child at 16, I could be 45.....Crap, that's old too!!! No getting around it, when someone asks me how old my grandchildren are, they will know that I am truly over the hill.
However, to see her looking all grown up, is a strange experience. I know that, no matter what, I have certainly left my mark on the world. Grandchildren are proof, you will never be forgotten. No matter what, when they have children of their own, and those children ask about their parents, parents, I will be remembered. I am now the truck of a tree which will grow and branch all about. The future is wide open. I have 3 grandchildren now, with the possibility, way in the future, of even more!
I did not start as the milk and cookie Grandma. My youngest was 8 when my granddaughter was born, so I was still in the habit of using the word "No". I had to wait until the Mommy mode could be tuned out, and I could move onto Grandma mode. I know that I was not the "nice" Grandma for many years. My Grandchildren have 4 sets of grandparents (because both sets of "parents" remarried) I was often Grandma #3. Way down at the bottom end, because I kept saying "No".
I hope (although the last visit, my youngest informed me I was "the meanest Grandma in the world!") that I have evolved into a milk and cookie Grandma. I was told years ago, that "all Grandma's have ice cream", and I try to ensure there is some in my freezer at all times. I shop for all the goodies, before a visit, and give the kids free access to the fridge and cupboards. I am not there for all the special occasions, but, I try to share as many as I can. I no longer go off the wall when something is spilled, or broken, I am comfortable just enjoying the life that fills the house with children. I would be lost to have a Christmas without the grandchildren, because I know the silence of a home without kids on that day.
My grandchildren are all different. Like my children, raised exactly the same, but the personalities are totally unique. I see myself in them, often, I see their mother, my brother, my mother and my dad. I see the other sides of their grandparents, and uncles, and great grandmother. To be able to watch them grow is a wonderful thing.
So, I did not feel "old" to see Miss K, looking all grown, I felt a sense of pride, and knowledge that I , am a part of this branch on the tree that will have little branches into the world, forever more. Yes, I am grandmother to a teenager, and I am thrilled to be here to watch her, and her brothers grow. I did not have the pleasure of Grandparents when I was a child, they were so very far away, and although I loved them, I seldom saw them. My youngest 2 children, never had the chance to see their Grandmothers, so, to be able to be a Grandmother, for all these years, is a gift, for both sides(I hope). How they remember me, will be up to them, but...no matter how, I will be forever a part of their lives!
Grandchildren are truly a record of the past, and a glimpse into the future, and I am very proud of my record, and looking forwards to the future.
Saturday, 20 April 2013
MentalPause
Work is very slow! Got myself a clump of days off, and don't have a whole whack of housework hanging over my head. My beloved is home, but he is sleeping. So, here I sit. Yes, a million thoughts rattling about, what do I send off into the internet universe today? Oh Lord, why is this stupid thing, the one that rises to the top? How the heck do I put this down in words that will not make me look totally insane?
Humm...guess there really are no words that won't do that, simply because, this matter apparently does cause some insanity, therefore the title. Along with mind issues, it brings along a whole shitload of other problems, stuff which, I suppose I will spew to the whole world today. Perhaps it is the reason I have started this blog, and why I always seem to be in such a nasty foul mood? Maybe this is my excuse for becoming the sharp tongued, evil, old b*tch that I am? I used to think I was me, just because I had honed my negative for so many decades (which is likely to blame for most of this) but, hey, could be a medical issue. Maybe I am entitled to some sort of disability pension? I am thinking, might just be time to look into this, maybe the government would be best to pay me to stay out of the public?
I am talking about Menopause, which I fondly call Mentalpause. Back in the day, I heard folks speak about someone going through the "Change", or she is in the "Change of life". F*ck, with all the movies floating about, now, if you said someone was going through the "Change" they would instantly think "Twilight" and think Jane Doe has been bitten by a Vampire, and will turn into a wolf. Geez, not a bad analogy!
Most of the time, change can be good. I have to tell you, this one isn't!! It sucks the ginormous Jahoogie!!Every nasty thing that occurs daily, in my life, according to my buddy, can be traced back to...Mentalpause!!
Temperature change! This is the very first pleasure of this "Change" I experienced. WTF!! I would crawl into bed, fall immediately asleep, and about 2 hours later, I would wake up in a sweat. It wasn't just a tad warm, it was boiling hot! Blankets off, pajamas off, feet onto the cold floor, please,please, don't let me catch on fire!!! Poof!!! body sensors back on track, freezing cold! Try and go back to sleep after this. Nope, doesn't happen instantly, got to lay there watching the clock. This extremely lovely experience can go on every 2 hours a night. Makes for a nasty sleep, and, in turn, a nasty person in the morning.Oh, it's not limited to just bedtime, it can occur during a nice drive. I become like a dog, one moment, everything is tickity boo, the next my jacket is off, the window is open, and I have my head out in the freezing cold, trying to cool down. This is not just in my head, I can pour sweat in the middle of winter, usually just on my forehead, but cripes, what a bizarre experience. I had hoped this was perhaps a year long activity, but, thanks to others who have been here longer than myself, it is something I can look forwards to for a very long time, wheeee...
Brain freezes! Yep, for awhile I thought it was just because I had far too much shoved in my tiny little brain, that things would get jumbled up. Just yesterday, my honey asked me if I might have an aneurysm. Why? Because I picked up two salads in the store and informed him I got him a kraft and a mayonaisse. In truth, I had placed a potato salad, and a macaroni salad in the cart. My mind just twisted things around, and these were the words that came out. Things just tend to get muddled, but, they appear totally clear to me. Yes, I still have to backtrack many times, when I open the fridge, and can't remember why, when I go to put dirty dishes into the oven, instead of the dishwasher. All this, can be attributed to the "Change". I call it mental pause, because of all the things it has brought to my life, screwing with my thought process, is one of the most annoying.
The next thing that is just about as annoying, is, hair!! Oh, I have been luckier than some, my head of hair has not thinned out to a fine down, thank goodness!! But, the damn stuff has decided it can't make up it's mind where the H-ll it is suppose to grow. For some insane reason, it has picked my face to sprout up on!! I will look in the mirror (occasionally) and pluck those little suckers out, then, that night, I will accidently lift my head at the mirror again, only to see a frigging beard! No, I am not trying to be like my favourite TV show, and join the Duck Dynasty boys, I am mortified! It's like dandelions in a yard. I just can't stop the stuff. I tried the waxing, Hah! my skin is too sensitive, end up with a big red rash, instead of hair, like a flashing light to tell the world I have just had facial hair ripped from my body. My honey suggested I purchase a No No so I can zap the crap off. I have decided for my own personal peace of mind, I am going to do just that. Sick of fur growing in my wrinkles!!
My beloved claims he has not noticed any mood swings, he actually states, he figures I have been menopausal since the day we met. I suppose I am lucky in that respect. It seems some women just go bonkers, I was just lucky enough to be off the wall, all along. But, I personally notice that I am far more short tempered. I feel that my people skills have totally disappeared. If I don't like you (and trust me, I don't like a very large majority) then I can't be bothered, and the line that stops me from actually saying this, has become very, very thin. Fair warning, tread softly around me, because, at any moment, I may crack.
I won't get into the more personal aspects of this nasty "time of life" (that's another saying I used to hear). All, I can say, is, if you haven't got to this lovely stage of life, don't be foolish like I was, and think it is going to be great. It isn't . Once again, I have lost control, not only is my life out of own hands, my body has a mind of it's own, and I can't do a damn thing about it.
Humm...guess there really are no words that won't do that, simply because, this matter apparently does cause some insanity, therefore the title. Along with mind issues, it brings along a whole shitload of other problems, stuff which, I suppose I will spew to the whole world today. Perhaps it is the reason I have started this blog, and why I always seem to be in such a nasty foul mood? Maybe this is my excuse for becoming the sharp tongued, evil, old b*tch that I am? I used to think I was me, just because I had honed my negative for so many decades (which is likely to blame for most of this) but, hey, could be a medical issue. Maybe I am entitled to some sort of disability pension? I am thinking, might just be time to look into this, maybe the government would be best to pay me to stay out of the public?
I am talking about Menopause, which I fondly call Mentalpause. Back in the day, I heard folks speak about someone going through the "Change", or she is in the "Change of life". F*ck, with all the movies floating about, now, if you said someone was going through the "Change" they would instantly think "Twilight" and think Jane Doe has been bitten by a Vampire, and will turn into a wolf. Geez, not a bad analogy!
Most of the time, change can be good. I have to tell you, this one isn't!! It sucks the ginormous Jahoogie!!Every nasty thing that occurs daily, in my life, according to my buddy, can be traced back to...Mentalpause!!
Temperature change! This is the very first pleasure of this "Change" I experienced. WTF!! I would crawl into bed, fall immediately asleep, and about 2 hours later, I would wake up in a sweat. It wasn't just a tad warm, it was boiling hot! Blankets off, pajamas off, feet onto the cold floor, please,please, don't let me catch on fire!!! Poof!!! body sensors back on track, freezing cold! Try and go back to sleep after this. Nope, doesn't happen instantly, got to lay there watching the clock. This extremely lovely experience can go on every 2 hours a night. Makes for a nasty sleep, and, in turn, a nasty person in the morning.Oh, it's not limited to just bedtime, it can occur during a nice drive. I become like a dog, one moment, everything is tickity boo, the next my jacket is off, the window is open, and I have my head out in the freezing cold, trying to cool down. This is not just in my head, I can pour sweat in the middle of winter, usually just on my forehead, but cripes, what a bizarre experience. I had hoped this was perhaps a year long activity, but, thanks to others who have been here longer than myself, it is something I can look forwards to for a very long time, wheeee...
Brain freezes! Yep, for awhile I thought it was just because I had far too much shoved in my tiny little brain, that things would get jumbled up. Just yesterday, my honey asked me if I might have an aneurysm. Why? Because I picked up two salads in the store and informed him I got him a kraft and a mayonaisse. In truth, I had placed a potato salad, and a macaroni salad in the cart. My mind just twisted things around, and these were the words that came out. Things just tend to get muddled, but, they appear totally clear to me. Yes, I still have to backtrack many times, when I open the fridge, and can't remember why, when I go to put dirty dishes into the oven, instead of the dishwasher. All this, can be attributed to the "Change". I call it mental pause, because of all the things it has brought to my life, screwing with my thought process, is one of the most annoying.
The next thing that is just about as annoying, is, hair!! Oh, I have been luckier than some, my head of hair has not thinned out to a fine down, thank goodness!! But, the damn stuff has decided it can't make up it's mind where the H-ll it is suppose to grow. For some insane reason, it has picked my face to sprout up on!! I will look in the mirror (occasionally) and pluck those little suckers out, then, that night, I will accidently lift my head at the mirror again, only to see a frigging beard! No, I am not trying to be like my favourite TV show, and join the Duck Dynasty boys, I am mortified! It's like dandelions in a yard. I just can't stop the stuff. I tried the waxing, Hah! my skin is too sensitive, end up with a big red rash, instead of hair, like a flashing light to tell the world I have just had facial hair ripped from my body. My honey suggested I purchase a No No so I can zap the crap off. I have decided for my own personal peace of mind, I am going to do just that. Sick of fur growing in my wrinkles!!
My beloved claims he has not noticed any mood swings, he actually states, he figures I have been menopausal since the day we met. I suppose I am lucky in that respect. It seems some women just go bonkers, I was just lucky enough to be off the wall, all along. But, I personally notice that I am far more short tempered. I feel that my people skills have totally disappeared. If I don't like you (and trust me, I don't like a very large majority) then I can't be bothered, and the line that stops me from actually saying this, has become very, very thin. Fair warning, tread softly around me, because, at any moment, I may crack.
I won't get into the more personal aspects of this nasty "time of life" (that's another saying I used to hear). All, I can say, is, if you haven't got to this lovely stage of life, don't be foolish like I was, and think it is going to be great. It isn't . Once again, I have lost control, not only is my life out of own hands, my body has a mind of it's own, and I can't do a damn thing about it.
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