Fleas????

Hey, I am home early again!! I am blown away, I think it may just happen tomorrow as well, and I can certainly handle that!!
  Now, just because my day went fairly smoothly, don't think there wasn't stuff that ticked my butt...cuz, of course there was!
  I think I have mentioned that my workplace is not the Hilton, right? Nothing fancy, in fact, it is somewhat rundown (O.K. some of it is not pretty), but, it is damn clean!! Today someone asked when they checked in, if the place had fleas!!! Hey, just because someone is not pretty, it doesn't mean they are dumb as a stick, same goes for ugly hotels. We have never, in all the time I have worked, experienced a flea issue. We do have these buglies that appear every single year, that we call "crunch" beetles. There is nothing we can do to combat these beetles, they are in many homes in town, and it is not because of cleanliness. Oh, and we get ants. Ants are an enormous problem in this area. I have never lived someplace with as many ant hills as this town, therefore, the sight of an ant, is nothing unusual, and we will do the same thing the average homeowner does, to get rid of that problem. I can't fathom why I was so offended when I heard this, as I will honestly state, when I first moved here, I actually thought one of the outlying areas I now clean, was  condemned.
 Yep, when I first started working there, I was shocked when my friend drove me up to the building. I really did think it was such an old wreck of shacks, it had to be empty. Silly me!!That building has some major history behind it, I have heard stories of Hookers having lineups to the rooms, during the Hay day, heehee, I don't know, if we had a hooker in there now, she would likely be a pretty cheap one. I also don't think the "porch" could hold a lineup. 
  What else irritated me today? Oh, apparently we had some sort of quality control check...Huh??Just had the BC accommodations guy there, and there was a tiny issue of him finding a piece of cardboard under a bed, but no complaints over cleanliness. There are a million things that should be dealt with. Yes, we have the Vacuum princess, but her complaints should go in one ear and out the other, that one will never be satisfied. We have had the odd complaint when a room is missed, and that does not happen very often, but, like any hotel, if someone spends enough time, they will find something.
  I will say, just down the road from our tacky, shabby hotel, is a brand new modern hotel. It has a lovely fireplace in the lobby, a paved parking lot, and a long list of complaints. They just lost their sign, because they did not meet quality standards, (or so I heard).
  I will also say, 20 years ago, when times were real tough, and my Honey and I suddenly got stuck away from home, we headed to the cheapest motel. We had often laughed about how it looked like a wind would blow it down, but, we needed a place we could afford, and upon entering our room, we were amazed. It was old, and it was shabby, the toilet rocked when you sat on it, but...it was scrubbed clean.
 So, take it from me, never judge a hotel by it's cover, it's what's under the covers that counts.

Aggravated Blogger

O.K. It is now clear to me, I need aggravation to motivate me to blog. I have attempted 3 times to write today, with no luck. Is it possible I sit here without a single nerve tingling? Nope, not on your life, always snapping at least one nerve, but today, I have more left than usual.
  It was, a pretty darn good day!! I know, I never ever expected to actually admit this, but today was such an amazing surprise, I am possibly still in shock. Our staff doubled today!! O.K. not much of a stretch to double a staff of 4,lol, but it was so unexpected, and the saddest part, is, it is not likely to continue. I suppose I could be thankful that I will have a recent good day to think back on, and I will be, for a moment. How simple, an otherwise physically wearing job, can become a piece of cake, with added help. It was actually difficult to pace myself to the ease of my day, I was done an hour early!! Oh please, let this continue for a few more days, at least. The whole atmosphere changed. We often joke, but today, we took the time to laugh together. I could see some of our faces lighten, and we stood taller, just that weight of having to run ragged for 7 hours lifted off of us, changed personalities.
  Oh, I admit, I am the grouch. I have a terrible habit of looking at things as a glass 1/2 empty, not like my counterpart, who is so damn positive, everything is 1/2 full. You all know people like her, always like the  song, "Don't worry, be happy". I have tried every which way I can think to rip the happy out of her, and failed. It actually frightens me when I think I am getting close to destroying her cheer, because, unlike myself, who has learned to thrive on dismal, she would be destroyed, and we would all suffer. I joke that she is actually the mean one, but it is a semi-joke, if she lost her 1/2 full attitude, and joined my dark side, she would likely put me to shame. I work very hard to be miserable, it is not always easy (although this job helps a great deal). To be miserable and make others laugh, is very difficult. I suppose carrying the black cloud everywhere I go, demands I offer some sort of rebate to those who must spend so much time around the constant storm, so I try and throw out a few sarcastic remarks, designed to make others laugh.
   I am still in a daze, and just can't think of anything to spew about. I am sure that by tomorrow something will occur, but I have to admit, the afterglow of a good day, is extremely enjoyable!

Clean Men

Well....I have been having a difficult time lately, as you saw from yesterday's drivel, had hoped today would be filled with sunshine and lollipops, but, surprise, it wasn't. If I was to write all the crapola that is whirling about in my brain right now, I would likely be ostracized and quite possibly fired, so I had best settle on something that is acceptable. I have been telling myself, blogging is a wonderful release from a ton of stuff that used to rot away inside, but, it has it's limits, and perhaps I will have to be like a fellow blogger, and consider putting the finer stuff off on a sideline, and someday, with a pseudonym, tossing it out as a book,lol.
  So, lets see, what is safe? How about, Clean Men? Yes, as most married, cohabiting, mothers,and maybe, girlfriends know, guys can be slobs. Oh, I remember my beloved when we first met, he had the cleanest area in the house he shared with about 3 other guys. I was amazed, his socks were all neatly put in one area, I think his bed was even nicely made. I thought to myself, this was perfect, a man who cleaned. Hah! Oh, now, don't get all antsy, Honey Bunny, I admit, there are times when you will get a rush of whatever, and I will arrive home to find things neat and tidy, but usually after I have gone off on a rant, about having to do it all myself. Not sure what happens when they move into the little nest, but, suddenly he is taking one sock off while in a chair, and the other finds it way under the bed. As to the bed, well, somehow that became my job. Dishes, I suppose while I was a full time Mom, I had the ability to accept this as my chore, but even when I went back to work, it was 90% my duty. I have admitted to all of you, I am not Suzy Homemaker, but I dream of a spotless home. I would try to have things to the standard I set (in my dreamworld) and always, I would go on a rampage, because it just never was accomplished.When I had weekends off, I would clean all day Saturday, then Sunday, I would appease my guilt by trying to make a wonderful supper, and head back to work on Monday, with dirty dishes, and a messy kitchen, that would remain as such, until the next day off. In the dreamworld, my beloved, and my amazing children would get together and clean everything up, so I didn't have to waste a day off doing it, again, Hah!! But, my Honey has a secret. He really and truly is one of those Clean men.
  Clean men only materialize when they are away from their women. Yep, I know this for a fact. I have gone to visit Honey Bunny many times when he has had to live away from home, and I am on edge, because his place is so damn clean! I worry about messing stuff up!! He always shares a place with someone else, who is apparently just as clean as he is. There are NO dirty dishes, bathtub is wiped clean after each shower, drawers are organized, cupboards are neat and tidy, and not a single sock is laying in the open! Yep, he also cooks, and takes the time to put every single thing away afterwards.
  We get these Clean men in the hotel, and sometimes their women come, and if I run into these women, I will state how wonderfully clean their husbands are, and how the staff appreciates this, and how lucky she is to have such a Clean man. Hah!!!! She will tell me this is not the same man she has at home, and I will understand.
  I suppose , these Clean Men , are much like I am with shaving my legs. Hey, been with this wonderful man of mine for well over 26 years, and I figure a couple of scratches from the pig bristles on my ham hocks hasn't caused him to leave yet, so I will use the razor time for something I enjoy far more. They have dropped their socks about their homes, and are still loved and tolerated, so no need to waste cleaning time at home.
  I wonder, if I had to share a house with another woman, would I shave my legs????

Age inappropriate Jobs

O.K. I know, it was only days ago, I was bragging how wonderful I felt finishing a a day of housekeeping, with just my buddy and myself. Hah! I was apparently running on adrenaline, and this old worn out sack of bones did not clue into the fact that it is not 30 something, anymore, or even 40 something! Some jobs are simply age inappropriate.
  Come on, imagine a 56 year old stripper.....I suppose if she had been doing that job for about 35 years, and saved all her tips from her 20's to get some serious plastic surgery, and some joint replacements, it could happen. How about a 56 year old hand model, yuck!!! Oh, I know, I see Diane Keaton advertising for some amazing makeup that apparently fills in all cracks and crevices , but she is not the" norm", right? How about swimsuit illustrated? Face it, there comes a time, when certain jobs are beyond age limits.
 I have tried to convince myself this is excellent exercise, and it does me good to get moving, but...now I wonder. Today I seem to have run out of energy. I drank coffee, nothing, I ate some dessert, still nothing, I tried some potato chips, as they are my miracle food, but, not this time. I just hit that brick wall, pushed myself to the limit, and there is no emergency supply of gumption to tap into. That is something that must come with old age, the loss of that back-up supply you could use, if needed. It must disappear with bone density?
  Each day, I check my To-Do list, and although some mornings, it seems daunting, I am confident I can manage. Today was such a day, just one building, and one weekly in another, looked do able. I may have made a mistake, worked like an idiot for the first 4 hours, to ensure I gave myself time, but when lunch arrived, I could barely trudge my way to my car for the drive home. Going back after the toast and raspberry dessert, was agony. My brain (yes it still works) kept saying, "just lay down and have a short nap", HOLA!! I have reached napping age!!!!However, apparently there is no siesta time in British Columbia, so...back I went. I didn't even have the energy to chant how much I hate my job (and that is very bad).
  I am beginning to think that I am almost at the brink of being too old to clean hotel rooms. I know, my friend is older than me, and I keep thinking, if she can still do this, I have a few more years left in me, I should manage till 62, right? But, as I have stated before, she is much skinnier, and less wrinkled, so perhaps she is more like Diane Keaton, than I am?
  I think I should check into a new job, like Gypsy Fortune teller, they are all wrinkled, and hunched over. I could do that, without any makeup, plus, I would get to wear great big rings on my non-hand model hands. The only problem is, they are always gazing into crystal balls, and I really don't like looking at myself in the mirror every morning, let alone staring at my reflection all day!
 I suppose I will give housekeeping another try, tomorrow. There are 4 more days left in this pay period, I should at least attempt to finish off the month. Then, there will be the next pay period, which doesn't end until the 15th, so ...I will remain on the Hamster wheel of life, until I win the lottery, or I am put out to pasture by all the young people clambering for my job.

High Maintenance

Lord love us!! There are times when I get a real hate on for a guest. Most of the time, I have no clue what they look like, or even if they are really snots, but, sometimes, guests become irritants. As I stated, before, we have some messy guys, but we overlook the odd rotting bag of potatoes (which we throw out) or laundry strewn floor, simply because we know the poor guy has been working non-stop for months, and when we do run into him, he never asks for anything, except, perhaps if we can throw a load in our laundry for him, and he does pay for this. These rooms usually take a fair amount of time to clean, but there are never any calls to the office, because we forgot a face cloth, or nasty notes left on the coffee table because the bedspread has crumbs on it.
  However, we have the guests from hell once in awhile, and the latest is a real winner, extreme high maintenance!!! This is a couple, they have a dog, which remains in their room while they work. They are the ones with the freaking air freshener addiction. We have the pleasure of a new one, much like the one on the toilet, that pishes stink in our face while cleaning the toilet. (BTW, we no longer clean her toilet bowl, she has shoved some blue thing in there, and we are not about to add our smoking stuff to the blue, in case we suddenly become fairy princesses  when the two mix and envelope us in cloud). The new stinker is on top of the microwave stand, and like it's twin, is set to go off with movement, so once you start to wipe the microwave off, Bazinga, suddenly sucking back perfume. 
  So, anyhow, these are the folks who we returned all the dope and fixings to, right(the" Snears Inspector mystery")? Thought they might just sort of tone things down, Housekeeping could have ratted them out, if they wanted, but our motto remains the same, "What happens in the hotel, stays in the hotel" except, of course my subtle blogs,lol.But no, she has not changed a bit, as time goes on, she gets progressively more needy.
  Anyhow, we also have (because we love puppies)started  taking this doggie out each day when we clean , thought this might be appreciated (nope). This winner leaves a note every 2 days, wanting her bedding changed, she wants everything changed, sheets, blanket and spread, and you already know our usual routine on this matter. We have found puke, blood, and spilled food on days the note is not left, so often everything is changed daily.. She has called the office because her carpet was not vacuumed, she has , in a drugged stupor gone after housekeeping to clean the corners in her bathroom, she has candles that have tipped onto the carpet, requiring a person (me) to sit on the floor and iron the wax up onto brown paper. They leave everything from skittles to twizzlers in the bed, which is also the favourite resting place for the puppy.
  Yesterday when there were only 2 staff, she went off to complain once again about her carpet not getting vacuumed. You would think that those running the show, would simply explain that staff was at a bare minimum, and she would have to wait till the next day, but no, one of the owners was actually told she had better get in there and do the job. Staff had done this, when they were confronted by the office, and informed the owner, who upon entering the room, understood immediately that the bedroom had not been done, simply because there was no visible carpet, it was buried under dirty clothes. Come on!! Would you invite a stranger into your place to complain about the housekeepers when you live in a sty? What are these people missing? Ooops, there it is again, Common Sense!!!
  I will manage to control my "Hate on" , because I have been doing some serious thinking ....I recently saw an Ad where the housekeeper used someone's toothbrush to scrub that poo glue, could happen.....

Skidmarks and other surprises

Ahhh..the many surprises us Housekeepers are left. The problem is, very few of them are welcome. My regular nasty surprise is the "Skidmark". I am sure you all know what those are on the roads, in our line of work, they appear on the sheets. The human mind works in strange ways, and these marks conjure up horrible visions, as we are positive how they happen, from the placement on the sheets. Now, picture this, Joe Blow gets up in the morning, pulls back the sheets, and wanders in to perhaps shower, and then sit down to empty his body before beginning another day. All well, and fine, however, he lacks proper wiping etiquette.Next on the list of morning to-dos is to put on his underwear and socks, and this is done by sitting on the bed. The lack of proper wiping is then transfered to the sheets, and as he rises to put on his underwear, it smears, leaving.....a "skidmark". Now we may chose to simply pull up those sheets, and let him sleep with his mark. It depends on a few things, is this mark a daily occurrence, and did we change everything the day before? Is it low enough that it will not be seen upon him crawling in at night? Maybe we just are fed up with the mess in his room, and figure he can darn well live with it, or perhaps his weekly is due the next day, and no sense in changing things. Bet you never thought this job would carry so much decision making, right?
  Facecloths are another issue. Now, I have never been a part of any aspect of the "Sex Trade" but I did have to sit through Guidance class in school, and I do watch TV. I also had 3 children, so I know a little about Spermazodes. I hate spermazodes, you are never sure where you will find their burial place, but face cloths seem to be a favourite place. Come on...you know what I am talking about. Our imaginations are not keener than the average person, yet we can visualize exactly what happened,especially when they are a hardened clump, after one use.  We have changed so many rooms to brown towels, the white ones tend to hide things much better. To ease your minds, these are washed in hot water,LOL.Much as I hate picking up wads of toilet paper, I would prefer those to the face cloths, and will tell you, personally I will never use a hotel face cloth on my face. I have developed a phobia, although I am sure they are sanitary, the knowledge of where they may have been before me, just will not escape me.
  Now I realize guys have to shave, especially guys that work in the oil patch. I understand this is likely a job they hate, but I think housekeepers hate it even more. Those freaking hairs are a real pain in the butt to remove from a sink, but an accepted part of our job. Now, though, it seems these blasted trimmers are the newest fad, guys are trimming beards, sideburns, and whatever else, leaving a sink full of 1/2 a lb. of hair, and even stranger, it appears we have some guests who decide to give themselves haircuts, well, truth be told, I think they remove all their hair!!! We are finding the bathroom garbage bags full of hair. Is there something C.I.S. should be investigating going on in our hotel rooms? Maybe a serial murderer that is shaving bodies and stashing them about the hotel?
  Oh, and then we have the shower toothbrushers. I know they want to have those few extra minutes to sleep, and may be attempting to get everything done in a short period of time, but really, trying to scrub hardened toothpaste out of a bathtub, knowing that it was spit out of someone's mouth, is Yuckable.I can go on about things that come out of people's mouths that I have the "pleasure" of rubbing away at with a cloth, making sure my hand does not come in contact with, but figure, I will leave that for a later time.
  I end this spew with the thought, am I going to put the hotels out of business, by frightening all my readers so much, they don't dare sit on the bed? Oh, I know, everyone who would be reading this, practice the art of proper wiping, right?

Hotel secrets and tips

Decided that it was time to fill some of you in on the sneaky little secrets in hotel housekeeping. These are for your comfort next time you happen to book a room, and things that surprised me when I started in housekeeping.
  I am amazed at how many rooms I go into clean, only to find that the guest has chosen to sleep on the blanket, and under the bedspread. Do not do this, if you have any fear of strangers. In truth, the only things usually changed on beds between guests are the sheets and pillow cases. I know, seems yucky, but it is true. Perhaps this is the hotels way of helping stay environmentally friendly? I don't know for sure, but it blew my mind at first.I always thought everything was replaced. I understand the impossibility of this happening now, as I have done more than my share in the laundry side of things. We have 2 household front load wash machines, and 2 matching dryers, in which to keep up with a hotel full of laundry. Imagine yourself washing all the towels and sheets for your neighbours on your block. Each wash takes 30 minutes and each dryer load perhaps 1 hour, and you work a 7.5 hour day. Now add to this all the bedspreads (which our dryers do not like, and apparently insist are dry when they are damp) and blankets. Impossible, right? So, we do what we must, and that is to offer nice clean sheets and pillow cases. We are not alone, I have checked, it is apparent many hotels no longer do bedspreads, so the safest place to sleep, is under the sheets! I really must stress this fact, as it actually bothers me to see folks sleep on a blanket that may have had 3 different over nighters use.
  In our hotel, we have another secret, well, it's not really a secret, it is just plain weird. In almost every room we place a coffee pot, we also must ensure there are filters for this pot, but...here comes the kicker, absolutely no coffee is provided! So many times I have gone in to clean, to find the pot filled with water, and can imagine the guest searching about for the packet of coffee, that was not there. I can't explain this, just some really strange policy.
  Then we have the Row houses. These do not get the same service as other rooms. 6 days a week, they simply get towels changed and garbage removed, no bed making. Not sure how many time we have come to a door, to find the Maid service requested sign on the door knob. We go in, do what we are suppose to, and back the next day to find the sign again. Folks complain to the waitress in the morning that they don't get their beds made, hey, again, company policy, but guests are apparently not warned about this, therefore the blame is placed on housekeeping.
  I will have to do some thinking on any other warning I have for you innocents out there, but, bet you are very glad you have someone in the know to offer you this information,lol.
  Now as to tips. What a pleasant thought, and one that seldom occurs in housekeeping, but when it does, it is generally by the cleanest, easiest guest we have had to clean up after. Oh, my buddy has got the Puke tip, occasionally, yep, exactly what it sounds like, someone pukes, and leaves $20 to muck it up. That is gross, but it is a huge step up from those who puke in their beds, and simply ball the blankets up, leaving a nasty surprise. We do not get the standard gratuity like in some hotels, just a nice surprise when we least expect it. We had a guest stay for about 4 months, simple as pie to clean up, hardly messed his bed, he left, and handed the office 75$ to share between us, wow, that was nice. I have received an $80 tip after having a crew stay for about 5 months, and once in awhile a few scattered 20$ and the more often toonie. The worst tip, approximately 65 cents on a table with a note saying "Thanks A lot" from a row house full of drug sucking slobs, who were upset with their mega thousand dollar bill, and felt the urge to take it out on housekeeping. Tips for us can be many things, a 1/2 full container of candies is a joyful sight, ichiban is O.K. popsicles left in a freezer, not bad, a 1/2 can of coffee, quite a find, frozen steak is a treat,lol..yes, the job does have its perks.
  So next time you head to the hotel, be sure to crawl in under the sheets, and perhaps pick up a couple of chocolate bars, that you conveniently leave on the table when you check out.