I Am Apparently Privileged

Alrighty, this is something I have held off putting out into the world, for some time. The hold back, is not because I am in fear of a great debate regarding my words, but the fear that a label will be placed on this blog, without the abilty to debate. It seems the way of the world in the past few years has been to cease debating one's opinion, and simply deciding it is politically incorrect, because it does not follow the herd mentality. This is something , as a elder in todays society, I never imagined would happen. 

I am of an age, that my schooling required debate, folks of my generation had various opinions, and we were more than able to stand up for our convictions, with the only reprisal being the  knowledge that a friend sitting in the next desk did not agree with my stance on something, be it politics, religion, or what the latest fashion was. Unless our teachers showed us evidence, and this would be unmistakeable evidence, our view may be incorrect, allowing us the ability to do our very own research on both sides of an issue, and deciding in our own minds, perhaps we had not looked far enough into a matter,  we kept our opinions without fear!

 I remember politically, in a very small town, we had our steadfast Liberals, our overly vocal NDP, and because it was a mainly blue collar town, the majority Conservatives, and we all knew who they were, because opinions were personal. Now, perhaps there were plenty of arguments over parties, but that was because our town, and our country was democratic, you did not have to worry about racism, discrimination , or white supremacy, labels being placed on you. You could faintly figure out where your teacher stood on matters, but, never did you feel the need to accept their opinion.Their goal, in those times, was to teach you to form your own opinions, by reading facts in trusted newspapers, that always showed 2 sides of a story, or digging out the encyclopedia and doing some study. See, that is what has suddenly disappeared in our society, the two sides. Now you are labelled with some very horrific titles, if you do not follow the single side shoved down your throat by media and politicians, and educational institutions now.

 So, after almost 68 years on this planet, I am suddenly charged with genocide, colonialism, racism, discrimination, and the bizarre label of White Privileged! WTF!!! 

 Firstly, I am a first generation Canadian, I was born in a tiny little town in Northern B.C. I may very well (if you follow the belief of reincarnation) have been a settler in the 1800's , but as far as I know, 1956 was the year I began my life in Canada. I was a post war child, so the horror of the Second World War were still pretty close, and I knew many who had lost Husbands, and sons in this war. I knew about the autrocities committed towards the Jewish people, and I was grateful that our countries had not fallen to Hitler, and we were not surrounded by White Supremists. Perhaps this is why I grew up with the belief that race, and religion had very little bearing on who a person is. Those things were personal, and we lived in a free world, thankfully! I have never, ever, been in a position to discriminate, as the only large group I have been a part of is the Canadian Armed Forces, and...we were, at that time, all equal (except Officers). I also grew up with the knowledge that you cannot control who your parents are, as well as your siblings. They are their own person, and you are not responsible for their actions! So these labels placed on new born "White" babies, as colonialists, or Settlers, are absolutely disgusting, and make no sense whatsoever! That child is in no way responsible for things that occurred a hundred years or more before they entered this world, just as I am not!! To stick me with the label "Privileged" is also insane. Do you know my life story? Throwing that word at me, simply shows a lack of common sense, as it does to that little " White" baby. To believe, in this day and age, that being White, is somehow a privilege is asinine. 

The jobs listed now exclude those who are a whiter shade of pale. Universities proudly list positions with the caveat "NO WHITES ALLOWED." Benefits from the Government of our Country also single out races, and religions for extra treats, not given to those labeled "Privileged". Suddenly to be "White" is to be placed at the bottom on the barrel, with the extra kick in the face of listening to how "Privileged" one is. 

Don't get me wrong, I am not angry, at where we have come as a democratic country, I'm not. I am so damn sad at what our society has become. I feel I no longer belong in the country called Canada, the only home I have known. I no longer belong, simply by the fluke of fate, born to parents who were "White", living a life considered "Privileged" (if only). My beloved and I raised a family, who, surprise, are "Privileged", as well, because clearly our children look "White" . That folks, is when others should stop and take heed! They look "White" , but they are really bi-racial. So does this mean they are semi;"Privileged"? For crying out loud, it is time to take more than a single step back from this lunacy! This divide concocted by Government and media has got to stop! If we are truly attempting to become a country that does not dicriminate, the road we are traveling is NOT going to get to that goal by stating one is better, or less than another, because of the inabilty to chose who your parents are!! That is impossible, as common sense tells you. Lets try and get back to using our brains, and the knowledge that we need to look beyond race!!

The Twilight Zone of Cancer

Tried writing an update the other day, just not worth posting, as I couldn't put down my thoughts the way I intended. trying again...

This past month has been a series of confusing news, that just goes to show the ups and downs folks dealing with the B.C. Cancer Center go through. Dealing with this entity is in truth, just as hard as dealing with the disease itself. 

Before I get into our travel marker on this journey through the Twilight Zone, I need to speak about my friend's trip. The walk along side of her, has been an absolute rollercoaster mostly going to the pit of hell. As I mentioned previously, she has a very rare form of cancer, one that is unimaginable, I am going to let it go at that. So , as it is rare, treatment is really a guessing game. She has gone through surgery, and when we met, she was beginning her 7.5 weeks of Chemo and radiation. She finished this at the beginning of January, and was sent home to "recover" until April. Keep in mind, no tests on the outcome, just sit at home for 3-4 months and cross your fingers it is not growing like crazy..Because, folks when this is inside of your body, that is where your mind goes, no matter who you are. Come the beginning of April, off she goes to PG and is told, the treatment did nothing!! What a blow, right? Her records have already been sent to Vancouver, and she gets a call from there, telling her the next step is for her to travel to Kelowna for a PET scan, and then they will decide what surgery they will do, both types requiring her to have all sorts of parts removed and bags to do bodily functions, plus a prognosis that is pretty grim. She also must go into her local hopital and have 4-5 biopsies taken (very painful) . Well it turns out on a Video cell call the vancouver specialist wants them to do 18 biopsies many of which are "Punch" biopsies, all while the cell phone is up to her tumour. This is done. Then more recovery time, and only weeks later, a phonecall informing her she is now in remission! No cancer detected, all biopsies negative! Her treatment for the very large dead tumour, antibiotics and vitamin E to help heal. Just let that sink in...can you even imagine getting two completley different reports , one basically saying you have no hope, and the next saying surprise..you are cancer free? Please don't get me wrong, I am ever so greatful she has won her battle, however, the toll the rollercoaster has taken is intense. Mental health fighting any disease is of utmost importance, hers is in tatters. This is what the system does that is so very wrong, there is absolutely no consideration for one's mind, and the body can not heal when the mind is not assisting. 

So onto our story, keep in mind, as we travel our road, I walk beside my friend on hers. We have shared a large part of our battles with each other, we question each other, we lean on each other. She is in the fight, I am beside a fighter, so she can help me understand what my beloved doesn't speak. 

Chuck finished cycle 6 of chemo, cycle 1 started in December. We were told we would hear from the Oncologist around the middle of this cycle..Not a peep! In the midst of this cycle, he had a CTscan, and a echocardiogram. We had an appointment in the book from his last chemo IV for the Tuesday in Smithers to see the Dr. Off we go. She came into the room after reading the CT report. OOps forgot, during this cycle he also had the feeding tube removed, a gastroscopy, and a colonoscopy, by our very favourite surgeon who did the orginal diagnosis back in September. After the procedure he came out to speak with me, and was very excited. He said he could not have imagined the improvement, and explained her had taken biopsies as he scoped.  So back to the Dr. She explained the CT was very positive, all biopsies had come back negative as well. No cancer in esophogus. The nodule on his lung had disappeared. The spots on his liver besides one were gone. There was a lesion in the opening of the pancreous but not worrisome. She also said there were some lymph nodes that may be questionable. So, it was decided he was done Chemo! Now he is on something called maintenace therapy, he will simply get an IV infusion every 3 weeks of the targetted medication he has been on since December. He will do this until December and then we will see what is decided afterwards. You say hallelujah? Well, in additon to this, we find out the next day during the IV, that he will no longer have Dr. appointments, nor bloodwork, simply every 3 months he will get a CTscan. His cancer is a very agressive type, it moves quickly, in my little mind, 3 months is simply NOT acceptable. Now I have to attempt to get in touch with the Dr. next treatment date, and request he at least gets blood work once a month, there is no way in hell we can manage to go along for 3 months at a time wondering if the medication is still doing it's job. You have to understand, we have had to deal with Dr. Gloom and Doom, who at each appointment stressed the medication will stop working at some point, and the cells will become immune, taking over all his organs, till his system shuts down. See the importance of Mental Health????So, I personally cannot manage to sit and wait 3 months knowing that perhaps the cells have become immune, if the blood work that he gets to show the tumour markers is continued each month, we will be able to tell if they are multiplying and something can be done before too much damage occurs. I hate that I have to insist on something that seems so common sense, but not going to accept anything less than. I would have felt a bit better if we had spoken to the Oncologist but that does not appear to be happening in the near future , so we continue on...In the twilight zone of Cancer.