O.K. first off, this is probably going to upset some folks..However..if they are upset, then they are part of the reason the world is filled with participant ribbons.
Just to be clear, I understand I am not well educated in raising a special needs child. That said, I am aware enough to realize those parents that do, deserve a special hug, because I do understand raising a child period, is difficult, let alone having to work with special needs.I respect the patience you must have. I respect the fact, that like most parents, you have an overwhelming urge to protect your child, that is "normal" for all of us.
But...today I read an "open" letter written by the mother of a Downs Syndrome boy, regarding the lack of invite to a classmate's birthday party.I saw that there were 23 children in the class, and 22 apparently received invitations. According to the letter her son was the only one not invited.
Fine, I understand she had to deal with her son upset he did not get invited. Perhaps the reason was his Downs Syndrome. That is sad. Yes, the letter went into detail explaining how she understood the birthday child's parent may be uncomfortable, and fearful, as she was before she had her child. It was a lovely letter..however....This is why the world is such a mess.
May I say, after she posted this "open letter" the birthday child's mother did indeed give the boy an invitation...In my hard hearted opinion, this was wrong!! What the hell??? The child did not get invited to a private party. So, for the rest of his life, is his mother going to pen letters each and every time he is not included in something?
Holy crap!! Growing up my friend's circle would rotate, sometimes we would be at odds with one another, and..surprise..left out of something all my other friends were part of. Did it hurt? Damn right it did!! I would sit at home, in a very small town, knowing that everyone else was in a group, having fun..I wasn't! Did I ever do this hurtful thing myself..yep..sure did!! Of course there were the really popular people who were included in absolutely everything, but along with the majority of kids I grew up with, sometimes our feelings got hurt.
Now, as little as I know about Downs Syndrome, I can imagine this child was hurt, and as painful as the feeling of being left out is for your average child, I assume one with the innocence of this child, and the gentle heart, this would have been devastating.
It is simply sad. But, it is also reality. Again, I would not want to be in this mothers shoes, trying to comfort her child, but, the birthday child's mother should not have been publicly chastised like this. Sure, her name wasn't on this letter, but..for goodness sake, the world has become very small with social media..she knew she had been singled out.
So..the child's mother is upset because her son was singled out, and not invited to a party, she in turn singles out the other child's mother. Sorry, but again, if the invitation had not been given, the birthday child's mother would definitely be in a very uncomfortable position with the mentality of the world today.
Why did this parent choose to write an open letter regarding something as personal as a birthday party? I believe we have gone too far to the left. I never expected my parents to give a rat's behind whether I went to "Bill Mike Moe's" birthday party. Cripes, it was likely they appreciated not having to dish out for gifts, each invitation I was not given. I had to learn, sometimes mean things happen.
So, as a parent, if I had even considered doing something like this, and then the other parent had relented, and invited my child..would I have sent them? NOT EVER!! What satisfaction results from this whole matter? The uninvited has pushed to be invited, and now will attend a party, where everyone will have to be on their best behaviour to ensure the comfort of one child.
For crying out loud..as awful as this seems, it has become a problem. Everyone else having to bend to appease one. We will continue getting no where, there is always going to be some minority that is unhappy, we cannot make everything a Fairy tale. Life hurts, for everyone, at some moment. I don't care if you are covered in pimples, if you have a missing or deformed limb, if you are fat, skinny, black, white, have a birthmark, poor, lack of continence, allergies, or..even perfect...at some point in time, you will not be included in absolutely everything you want, in the world.
Yes, I would hug the poor child, left out of the invite, I would hug any child left out, because as one who grew up in the real world, I understand that feeling. Because I understand that feeling, I can sympathize.But, I also understand, this will happen far more as the child grows older. So now will he expect to take part in everything?
Hug your child, cry with him, feel his pain, but do NOT turn the tables, and make another child, feel like a piece of crap because of this. Sorry, but from my point of view, this is what the mother accomplished..she got what her child wanted by making someone else uncomfortable. She should have kept this between herself and the other mother..not thrown it out to the bleeding heart mob, to ensure the other family had no choice.
The world has been unfair to me, probably you, as well. I would definitely love to sail through every day without getting hurt. I wish I could wrap my own children up in bubble wrap to ensure they never got hurt, but they have. I am heartbroken when my grand children are hurt, and want to go beat those who hurt them up...but that is not reality. I hope my children and in time my grand children learn, like I have had to, life is not fair, but, we are all in the same boat at one time or another...and there is always someone close by to help them paddle!
Sunday, 5 June 2016
Is life at 60, as I imagined? Nope..not at all. My imagination was based on those who were old when I was young...my life is nothing like theirs!
See, I have mentioned on more than one occasion, I grew up in a very small town However, I don't think I might have mentioned some of the history of that small town..I will fill in one or two spaces, and perhaps..my old, and the old of those back in the day.have reason to be just a wee bit different.
My home town still has it's reputation as a "Boom" or "Bust" town. It began booming with mining. Now, keep in mind, this was way back in the day..the days of wooden sidewalks, and horse drawn wagons, and rough tough folks who were out to make their fortunes, no matter what. It was..the "Mild Wild West". I say mild, because it wasn't Gunsmoke, but pretty damn close.
When you have a large group of men, stuck in the middle of no where, making some pretty damn good coin...you have all sorts of business out to get a piece of that coin. The oldest profession showed up pretty quickly. You all know what that is..that business that begins with a product, sells it, and still has the product...The Red-Light district business!
O.K. when I was a kid, the business was long gone. I didn't even know about it until I grew up and read a book by a past member of the NorthWest Police, and boy was I shocked! You see, I was shocked, because...I knew a whole whack of the folks mentioned in this book. I was shocked, because, all I saw were old people, but, now I was privy to some of their past, and boy..it was juicy!!
One in particular, a lady I seldom saw..her hubby was the Mayor, and they lived on the street behind my house. I think I only saw her two of three times, and that was when we pressed her husband to allow us into their yard to see their fish pond. A fish pond in my town was rare, in fact, I might be wrong, but I believe they had the only one. They also had an amazing yard, filled with beautiful flowers, and a well maintained home. The Mayor would drive his little green car about, with a fresh flower in a vase placed on his dash.I honestly believed this couple was snobby, and filthy rich. Yep..back when you are so young, you decide folks are rich by the things they have, and a fish pond..well that was really wealthy!!! Imagine my shock, when I grew up, and found this lady, who seemed like the biggest snob in the world..had at one time worked in the Brothels.
I learned of other women I knew, and loved, who had spent their younger days in this profession. Honest to goodness..perhaps that is when I realized it was not as horrid as I imagined. These women did pretty damn good for themselves, and...although the whole community knew their past, they settled in, and lived their lives as up-standing citizens. The white haired women, who had beautiful gardens, and immaculate homes, and doting husbands..had lived a sordid life for awhile, and then..retired! They had families, they had grandchildren, and they had businesses. But when they reached the age I am at right now, most of them lived a quiet life, gardening, and enjoying the companionship of the men they married, or if single/widowed, they enjoyed their family..
I have to think they were far smarter than me!! They were always dressed nicely, their hair was always done, and from all appearances, except for those who drank like fish, life moved slowly and quietly. Oh, I could possibly be totally out to lunch on all of this, I am certainly not dumb enough to believe life is what one views, but..as I reach that age in my life, I am positive my life is far more hectic, and full of turmoil than those of the "old" ladies of my childhood.
Those boring old ladies, pruning their roses, and plumping their peonies, seemed so sad, when I was young. They didn't go anywhere, they didn't do anything exciting..geez who the heck wanted to be that age? Again, life lesson learned. Something happens as you pass the 1/2 century point in life. Things that once seemed so important, material things, suddenly lose their shine. You realize that all the hurry and scurry gets you no where, it only makes you tired. You understand, time does have an end, the future is not "To infinity and beyond", it is 10-20-30 years down the road, and the distance is closing in far faster than the first 1/2 century moved.
I have come to a point where the pruning and plumping suddenly seems very appealing. Oh, I have other things that require a bit more travel, such as Pine picking, and to drive out into the middle of the bush, and sit for weeks in a travel trailer would certainly be listed in my top 3 pleasures of life, but..those pleasures seem so far out of reach, and I am quickly growing old.
I actually attempted to put in a fish pond! I had the hole dug, and then life decided to take a turn, and we had to "dig" around to find enough dirt to fill the damn thing in (dirt in these parts is hard to find). I think that might be the moment I realized those old ladies were smarter than me! My fish pond awaits grass seed...See, I had friends here who had a fish pond, I thought maybe that was why I was so gung ho to get one as well..but..really..in the back of my mind, the Mayor's fish pond has always been the sure sign of what old age is suppose to be like. A flower on my dash, a yard full of beautiful blooms, and a bloody fish pond!
Stay tuned..Right now I am making a slight turn in life, and heading backwards. I have a short list of requirements I want/need, and after letting these words out, I realize that Fish pond has been added to the list..along with the peonies, because I don't really like roses....