Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Saturday, 28 April 2012

World Peace

  Now, I must tell you all, I went into work yesterday, and was thrilled to find that the morning waitress had lovingly baked a huge plate of brownies for us toilet scrubbers. How much better can the start to a day get, than knowing you have enough chocolate to keep a person energized for a full day? Awesome!!! I think baking should certainly be supplied to all females to assure they spend their work day happy, and do not have to waste energy dealing with growling stomachs. I am of the opinion that baking is a key element to energy, brownies, pies, cake, monkey balls, they all assist in the ability to clean.I can honestly state, I personally work much harder when I have a sugar buzz.
   My goodness, perhaps I have solved the secret to productivity in the work place? Imagine, what a simple expense it would be to companies, if they supplied their employees with a dessert tray? It would have to be very accessible, and of course, out of the vision of the employers, so the lowly peons could satisfy their cravings without fear of someone keeping track of who goes to the tray the most. I know that would be something that would happen after some point...so in our case, I think that the Maid's room would certainly be the best place to place the treats, as the employer very seldom enters this domain. I imagine that it would also help the economy, as someone would have to be hired to ensure the desserts would be constantly replenished.Hey, perhaps if the wage is right, I could have that job. I would be happy and smiling all the time, making sure all treats were acceptable for others...I suppose they would have to add Taste tester to the job description. Imagine all the happy employees? We would not dawdle by the Treat tray, as that would tick off the boss, the idea would be to quickly grab one, or two treats, and scurry off somewhere hidden to shove it down our throats, work like an idiot for a while, and burn off the calories (ohhh, this idea is sounding better and better) making the treat tray non-fattening, as well, back for a re-fill, and so on and so on. HOLA, the amount of work that would be done would be mind boggling!! We would all be skinny, as well, since we would be burning that sugar faster than antelopes (I was going to say Gazelle's but then we are not really that graceful). Geez Louise, why hasn't anyone thought of this before?
  I really should be in upper management!!! I should, in fact, be in charge of the whole darn country!!!Imagine, politicians.. they would have all sorts of energy, and they would all be rushing to work, solving all the problems, and actually doing their jobs. Lord love us, I should be in the UN, I should be nominated for the Nobel Peace prize, because....think of all the world's problems getting dealt with, by people supplied in wonderful baked goods, the smells would make them smile, the sight would put gleams in their eyes, and the taste would make everything dark and dismal fade away, and to give to others would be so much easier, and to think of the poor and hopeless would become important, because they would all feel content, and have selfish thoughts disappear, all because they would finally be satisfied with what they have.
  I have actually blown my own mind, by the simple solution to so many issues in the world today, an ordinary Dessert Tray!!!!

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

A little different

Hello! I know this is all to be hotel stuff, but some days I just need to natter about other stuff. Today, it is something that concerns everyone, no matter who you are, you will at a point in time have to deal with this subject. The subject is....Old age!!!
   Sure, some may laugh, "It will never happen to me", "I will never be as old as you", " She is young at heart" "He is only as old as he feels", I have heard them all. Oh, one of the best was "Children help you stay young"!!!!Hah, that's not even funny!!! I remember reading stories when I was young, and how "Old age crept up on someone". Hummm...I expect it must have been creeping along for some time, when it comes to myself. Damn stuff just sort of reared up and sucker punched me. I know when I was young and foolish, I would always be out and about, riding dirt bikes, snowmobiling, climbing the rock face on our local mountain, digging holes for every sign post in town with a crowbar and a shovel, cutting down trees, all things that caused bruises, and bumps, and aches that would last for days, But, no one told me that when I reached some magic age, all of those aches, and bumps, and knee bashes, would somehow return with a vengeance. Holy cow, there are very few areas on my abundant body that do not scream at me. O.K. my ears and .... oh, that's right, nothing else!!!My eyes don't really hurt, they have just stopped working properly, and apparently I can look (pardon the pun) forwards to them working less and less over time. My nose, well, perhaps it works more than before, it has acquired an acute sense of smell, I can smell rotting meat, sewer, and various other stinks, in almost every place I go (no, it's not body odour, sillies) and it tends to run constantly, and I seem to sneeze far more often than usual. I will not go into another body part that also works in tandem with the sneezing. Every single knee smash I did when I was younger (I vividly remember thinking it was really cool when after a hockey game, in which I used the boards to stop, my knee was ginormous and filled with water) has now caused some sort of "tag" that will remain in a spot for as long as it wishes, and then without much warning, decide to move, in which case, my knee immediately locks, causing me to fall to the floor (if I am not already there, scrubbing a bathtub) writhing in pain, trying to get the nerve to attempt to unlock it. Today (guess it IS hotel related) as I finished cleaning a bathtub, I went to get up, and suddenly, my back told me it wasn't going to move quite that quickly, and I had to sort of stay in place for a minute, till my muscles caught up with my mind.For those of you young and naive, don't think fingers and toes are immune to age, nope, they are usually the first to go. In my case, it is that middle finger that I used to display so often, it has warped! Yes, now it is not a straight digit, it is this crooked old crone finger, like the Halloween witches always had. I am growing my very own witch fingers!!!!Oh, it is like those Werewolf movies, when they scream and holler as they are transformed by the moonlight, my crooked old fingers seem like they have run out of enough skin, and they are tearing out of my body when I move them. Oh, Oh, and the feet, don't forget about them, they also do not age well. They grown little extras on the big toe, sort of Quasimodo humps, the nails lose that lovely shine, and sort of yellow (yuck just typing it grosses me out) and then they decide that they are going to change sizes. Yep, one day a shoe fits perfectly, the next one has become incredibly tight, while the other flops about. WTF is up with that? Some days I can't get the darn shoes off fast enough, I swear they are going to explode because my feet have got way too large.
  I needed to inform folks about all of these things, (there are far more, but, it would be too frightening) so when you feel something creeping about, don't bother turning around, it's just old age, and there is nothing you can do to stop it!!

Saturday, 21 April 2012

I'm Clueless!

O.K. I know, this isn't hotel related (well, sort of) but I am not sure if I told all of you, I am totally clueless when it comes to bits and bites and blogs. I just figured out how to get a spot, and now I sit down tap away at the keyboard and hit publish. In truth, I just keep clicking all buttons, share, send to Facebook, send to Twitter, share to Google, all the while, not at all sure what it all means. My goal is simply to send my natterings off to as many poor unfortunates as possible, and to my extreme pleasure, it is working! I know my friends feel somewhat obligated to click in, but, I have folks in Russia, Singapore, Sweden, and today, Romania, somehow finding their way into my blog. Oh, I expect it is just a word that somehow gets them clicking in, but, hey, don't care, it is still very exciting for someone in Hick town B.C. to suddenly have folks all over the world reading something they wrote. Bet, many don't pop back, but, I can honestly say, those in Russia are a growing group, and they are not reading because they are obligated. Perhaps desperate for something trivial to giggle or shake their heads at? In my widest imagination, I see some poor woman, doing the same job I do, reading my stories, and shaking her head, saying (in Russian) " I totally understand"!
  See, I doubt that women (or men, because I know they do this job as well) in other countries have it much different than I do. O.K. maybe they wear uniforms, my personal uniform consists of my everyday clothing, with bleach marks, or have fancy duvets and lush carpets, but....a toilet is a toilet, right? Poop is poop, no matter what nationality. My goodness, we really are, universal toilet scrubbers. Oh, I know, I watched "Maid in Manhatten" and shook my head. Come on, no one I work with looks like Jennifer Lopaz, we do this job, because we have not been called to do Venus Razor commercials, and need that pay check. Now, I'm not saying that there are no beautiful housekeepers, because that would be silly, but sadly, I am not one. I can't imagine getting makeup on, to go in and do my job. The sweat that I work up, would start that stuff dripping, and it would go onto the linens, and I would be up the creek. But, perhaps, somewhere, folks get dolled up to clean?
  I figure we may use different products, have some different rules, but how exciting, if you could get one from each country, and set them in the same hotel, they would all go about doing exactly the same thing, no language barrier problem. We are kind of like parents, cleaning comes naturally, every single person knows what clean is, there is no denying it. When you tell your children to clean their rooms, they know darn well they are not doing it properly! When you do a room, and don't dust, you walk out knowing you did not complete the clean, not that I have never done that, I admit, if I dusted the day before, and am in a hurry, I will leave a room .  So, maybe an exchange program would be in order? How wonderful would that be? Some poor soul from one of those far off countries could come and spend a week cleaning at the lovely establishment I work at, while I would jet off to clean a hotel in Russia ,of course in the summer, or, maybe one in Sochi (yes I like places with Palm trees). Hey, something to consider.
  I just figured it was time for me to say thank you to those who have stopped by, and especially those who keep stopping by. I love writing these tales from the "Throne" and the knowledge that they are been read, is a bonus. So Thanks all, and hope that we can get together many more times in the future.

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Hotel or Care Home?

I think I mentioned how I could never have entered the medical profession, because of certain phobias I have with various bodily secretions, such as Ear wax. I know my limitations, and that is why I am stuck in the job I have. Oh, I know, I have also admitted I do not do well with puke, but thankfully I have a co-worker who has a far stronger stomach than myself, and she will step up to the plate if I come across that problem. I will say, I have had a few times that I did not realize I was dealing with  puke, as it has been rolled up in blankets and bedspreads, disguised until it is too late to do any more than ask another to open a garbage bag, and throw the mess in. I know, you all assume a person in my line of work, has the stomach of a goat, nope, can't even change a new born anymore. Just an FYI, if you do happen to get violently ill while staying in a hotel, and can't make it to the porcelain throne, please take a moment to write a note of warning, and perhaps apology, do not under any circumstances wrap it up in bedding or towels!!!
  So, on with tonight's peeve.I am writing this so that perhaps those reading can give me some answers. I am confused...I thought when a person grew up, and was potty trained, the days of being proud of what came out your butt were over. It was no longer necessary to call folks over to see what you left, and the cheering section, left the building when training pants went in the garbage. I, along with my co-workers, have to wonder why a grown adult, would think it proper, to leave their waste product on display, and in fact, expect someone else to clean it up. Now, this is not a one time deal, this is steady. It is not a ginormous amount, but it is a very obvious amount. Am I alone, in thinking, if, heaven forbid, I had an issue while sleeping in a bed that others would see on a daily basis, I would whip those puppies off and head to the nearest laundromat to ensure that disappeared. Does this person not imagine that a group of strange women would all troop into view this continual problem, that it would become knowledge to all who work in the establishment? Lord, I am embarrassed for this individual. That brings something new to my blog, a survey.  I need to ask, if you had a poop problem, while staying in a hotel, would you expect housekeeping to change your bed daily? I am aware that this happens in a Care home, and that is one of the reasons I never considered working in one.I will respect your opinions,lol, but if the large majority figures it is fine for myself and my co-workers to continue to clean this on a daily basis, I will start to add pictures to my blog, and I will package the offending linen up and send it to each and every person who feels this is acceptable.

Monday, 16 April 2012

Beam me up Scotty!!

Oh, if it were only that simple, just push a lapel pin, say those words, and you are instantly whisked away from Bizarro world, onto your "mother ship" where things are perhaps a little spacey , but, everything runs on routine. My gosh, I pray for routine. I would even consider taking a  cut (O.K. very small) in pay, if I could be assured of sanity when I enter the work place. Again, it is Hotel housekeeping, I expect the odd shock to the system upon entering a guest's room, but it seems the insanity is, in fact, flooding into my life, from outside those rooms.
  Is it because I had 2 days off? Maybe it isn't as crazy assed as I perceive? Hah! It is beyond perception!!I have to shake my head, maybe I should just cut days off, entirely? If I didn't go away from the dark side into the light for a short time, I might just accept that the world is really whirling about lop sided, and I could just slide into the stupidity, and get lost. I use so much energy fighting the Mad Hatters and March Hares. Maybe it is that morning coffee, perhaps it contains some sort of pill that is made from dried teeny tiny mushrooms? There has to be an explanation, and although I have honed my detective skills, I can't solve the mystery of the other world that I enter each work day.
  I am beginning to think that I would be far better off, just hanging my head and accepting. But, I am frightened, if I do this, will I lose my sanity. Is that what needs to happen? Maybe I am one of the few sane people there, and that is why I can't understand? Then again, maybe I am the lunatic, and everyone and everything else is proper? I want to quit feeling totally drained within the first hour of work, just so much happens, it is like I am bombarded, and then, like a Rubik's Cube , I try vainly to flip everything about so it lines up straight. I just can't get things lined up, each time I think I will hear the click, something else just flies out of the air, and adds another color to the cube.
  You all know, I have worked elsewhere during my tenure on earth. I have had some pretty different jobs, but, even the government jobs I worked at, did not contain as much drama as this one. Cripes, I did some time in the military, where I encountered my first split personality (she was one of my room-mates), a self proclaimed witch, and a few schizophrenics. But.....maybe because I was so much younger, this did not scar me near as much as the present.
  I worked at a Town Panty (I know, it is Pantry) and had to deal with the public, which is extremely trying, but my co-workers were great, we all had to spend 8 hours smiling at folks we really wanted to spit at. Although many of those who worked with me were young teenagers, the "grown-ups" are all still very special friends of mine, because we had to form a bond to be able to keep smiling.
  Perhaps that is the problem? Maybe it is because it is impossible to form a bond, maybe everyone tends to be centered upon themselves. Maybe we need to go on some sort of corporate get-away, where we have to learn to trust our fellow workers? Whoa, at this point, I would not fall back into too many arms, because I would end up with serious back problems from hitting the floor! I do think that the single get-together time at the Christmas staff party, is not enough for us to realize that each one of us, is a person. We all have feelings, and we can all get hurt by the actions or inaction of others. 
  I am a true believer in the power of communication. People need to talk!! I know, I do an awful lot of it, but right now, I think if things are left to simmer too long, they will curdle and there will be no fixing them.
  So.... maybe...before things become cottage cheese, those I work with, can find a time when we can all sit down, as regular human beings, and talk. Romantic relationships are important, and couples have to learn to talk to stay together, family relationships are important, and sitting down to talk will solve many issues. Work relationships are also important, your job takes up a large portion of your time, and having a great working environment, especially in my line of work, would make the time so much more bearable. We have to stick together, otherwise the Mother ship will crash and burn, and no one will be there to beam us up when we need it!

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Skidmore's bed testers

Hello, here I am, Debbie doom and gloom, back for another blog. I hate the idea of putting two dismal reads in a row, so will try and get things back on a happy track.
  O.K. I hope you are learning some of our special language, as I write these, and realized that Skidmore, likely has a certain meaning to it, right? Well, aren't you all smart as whips!!!Skidmore was actually the beginning of our skidmark world, pretty fitting, as he was with us for a lifetime, over and over again, and we saw far too many of his tracks.
  So, this turd of a human, would show up with the geese, and basically leave around the same time they did. He would be much like Princess Kiss my Ass, very demanding, wanting new appliances, and special treatment. He also would somehow get a washer and dryer placed in his Row house, although I wonder how often, and what he actually washed. I do know, he had a few friends over using the appliances, hummm...wonder if he got something in return, another free meal, maybe??? Yep, he also had the distinction of getting a free breakfast in the hotel restaurant. I never understood this, as he also got a food allowance from his company. Kind of goes to his greed, and arrogance, of which he was loaded with!! Now, again, this creep did not pay his own way, not a penny out of pocket, but with his attitude, you would have thought he was dishing out every single dime.
  So, he had about 3 teeth, which I didn't understand, because, he would fill his kitchen with enough fruit to feed every starving orphan in the world. This fruit would be placed on the kitchen counter, where it rotted all week long. The spring and fall were not too bad, but come summer, the kitchen would be filled with fruit flies, and as soon as you opened the front door, you would be assaulted with the smell of rotten fruit. Each time he would make a trip "home" he would return with food . He actually had a freezer and a little fridge for the overflow. He did eat supper at home, but always the free breakfast and likely a fee lunch at work. The food was overkill. O.K. maybe the lack of teeth was a product of the chocolate bars and hard candies he had loaded on his counter and beside his bed. I will admit to taking one of two of the Halloween sized bars, but, he was pretty anal with his stuff, maybe a little OCD, and I don't doubt he counted things. Plus, with the hard candies, most of those were "watermelon" and I really don't like those....
  So each year when he returned, we would wonder, he was the first guest to get a large flat screen TV, one year he got a brand new stove, then a fridge, a new couch, and the last time, when his neighbour Princess Kiss my Ass wanted a different bed, we were told to exchange beds with his. OMG, this was insane. He worked with her husband, we knew it would not pan out well, he would be choked to find out that he lost his bed to them. Keep in mind, these people are like children, when one gets something, the other will whine. So, we did the bed exchange, hauling them about, all the while, knowing we would likely be doing this again the next day. Sure enough....O.K. it was a few days longer, but...the office communicates with us, we must find Skidmore a better bed, he claimed when his 65 Lb. wife came to visit, they were kept awake by the squeaks. Yeeeeew...first off, she would be climbing into a bed full of brown tracks, bad enough, but...if it didn't squeak when his enormous girth rolled about at night, what on earth would cause squeaks with the added 65lbs.?
  Of course the 2 people stuck with this job, were..., you guessed it, my friend and I. We were ticked, no one listened when we warned this would happen, and as a reward, we get to haul beds around, yet again. We found a good bed, one of the nicest, and hauled it up the stairs. We worked up a sweat doing this, and as I stated, we were less than thrilled, and also very tired. When the two of us get tired, we tend to get snarky, and perhaps a tad filthy minded. We did not want to have to haul another bed, so, we decided we would test the bed out for squeaks. We had to imagine ol' Skidmore and his honey might have possibly (and it could happen) been wild animals, behind closed doors, which would account for the squeaking. I can still smile, remembering the two of us idiots, bouncing about the bed, in all areas, remember, my friend is the skinny one, so she was the 65 lb.'er, and sadly I had to be the toothless wonder. We stood on the bed, jumping up and down, all the while killing ourselves with laughter, and making extremely rude comments. Suffice to say, we were unable to get a squeak out of the bed, and deemed it acceptable for the future rompers.
  That bed still remains in that house, and there have not been any squeak complaints since.That does not mean he was happy.
   I try and instill the importance of ensuring extra toilet paper being left in all rooms, because of this creep. I can vividly remember a day from hell when I worked beyond my ability, on one of the hottest days of the summer. I was just finishing, putting all the supplies I had to pack back to the hotel into our pickup, sweat pouring down my face, and almost in tears. I heard someone yelling "Hey, you!" "Hey!" I looked over, and there was that troll, he was on his deck, with his elbows on the railing, mad as a hatter, because apparently he had been in the basement, doing his laundry, and the urge to poop was so overwhelming, he could not make it up his stairs to the bathroom we assumed he used. Lo and behold, there was no toilet paper in his basement! He went down my throat, and stood there, as I had to walk down into his basement to deliver the toilet paper. I could not explain to this anal prick that we did not go into his basement, because he was one person in a 3 story house, the bathroom we cleaned was the one in the main area. We left his basement for his personal storage space, and for 5 months we never went in there. Guess it took that long for him to use up the toilet paper, and it was impossible for the miserable thing to carry one down stairs himself.
  I do believe in Karma, but often it seems to take a very long time to catch up. This "Man" has been allowed to feel self important by my employers, and that power has made all those who have dealt with him, cross our fingers and toes, that someday, someone will use his 3 bristle toothbrush to scrub up his skidmarks!

Saturday, 14 April 2012


I suppose Caesars in Vegas must have a staff of hundreds, if not thousands. I am sure the Hilton has an incredible amount of people working in it. Those places have more guests than this town has population. My goodness,if not this whole town, at least 1/2 would be under one roof, so to speak. The stuff that would go on there is likely limited to floors. I guess that housekeeping staff would  not even know everyone that works with them, right?
  Well, zoom back to my world. We probably have about 125 guests, which in truth is about 10% of the population,lol. The whole staff, including kitchen and office adds up to 20 and that is pushing it, I am including some who only come in a few days a week, or even just to fill in once in awhile. That also includes the employer, so pretty skimpy, right?
  How can so few people have the ability to manage to screw with every single life (O.K. maybe there are 1 or 2 left out) of those they work with? Because my job keeps me away from the hub of things, I tend to miss out on many of the stories that permanently float about, but every once in awhile, one will make its way over to our area, and absolutely blow  our minds.The latest is such. In a workplace that is so damn busy for some of us, we just don't have time to make up stories. Stories are started by people who have far too much time on their hands, and therefore, have to find something outside of actual work to use their energy on.I think, unless a person's work is suffering, or they have become impossible to work with, there is no need for someone else to go tell the boss anything.
  In my workplace, I don't get too much time to speak with the other staff. I do have a standing "smoke break" with ol' Dusty Butt in the mornings he works, and we do chatter. However, the chatter is generally about stuff outside of the work place, or, on particularly bad days, a chance for either of us to vent. I don't think what we speak of, has any bearing on other staff, and certainly (at least I hope) does not reach the employers ears (unless she is listening through the window).
  So, where does this insane stuff come from? There are only 2 possibilities, folks have to realize, with a staff this small, things can be easily traced, by someone with extremely limited detective skills. The Where is easily solved, the Why is something that I will never understand. Why does someone decide to share untruths with the boss? I can understand bantering amongst your co-workers, but when you take the step to go into the office to spew things you do not know as fact, that is unacceptable. To walk in that door, you know you are likely inviting grief for someone else.
  A Boss in many places does not know what is happening in their workplace. They simply assume that things are running fine, and they pay others to ensure this. When one of their staff comes in with a story that seems to have some affect on their business, how are they to know if it is fact? I suppose in a perfect world, they would investigate, but, still the damage has been done. One of their employees has brought an innocent co-worker into the office to defend themselves over something they did not do. I wonder if that person realizes that they have chipped a tiny piece off their fellow worker? No one likes to be singled out, and lied about.
  Being that this is a small town, rumors are always floating about. However, the workplace is much smaller, yet, and these rumors do not have a long life span, they quickly reach their mark. They may be a little warped when they reach the poor victim, but the message is clear enough, someone has been lying about them, and worse, going to the source of their income with these lies.
  I know, you all clicked in with hopes that you would read something juicy, and cripes, I could certainly spew a good one, at this moment, but, I live and work in a very small town, and do not want to have to answer for something that I do not have all the facts about. I am just fed up, when other areas of my employment see fit to stick their noses into the business of those I work with, simply to stir the pot. These lies cause people to get upset, and when they are upset, work becomes second, they are on the defensive, and that takes energy, that I want them to use working! Because most who work with me, need their income, they are stuck, they can't confront the person who started these lies, because it would cause serious problems with the limited staff. Kind of a "Catch 22", eh? Instead we have to tell our side to the employer, and keep our ears peeled for the next lie conjured up by those who don't work hard enough.
  So, if any bosses are reading this, look twice at those employees that are continually bringing you stories about other workers. They should be too damn busy doing their jobs, to be watching , or imagining, what other folks are doing!

Thursday, 12 April 2012

Just Joking

O.K. I am doing this before I Hot tub, today. I am going to attempt to keep things nice and simple, and not get to the point of having to delete, once again.
  I recall in one of my previous posts, stating, perhaps I should become a fortune teller. Well, I was just frigging joking!!! I can't read minds, silly people, if I could, I certainly would not be wiping boogers off walls!!I am the same as most. I can't predict the future, lotto tickets are just a gamble, and I suck at the Casino!! Oh, I have a little of the detective talent. Like today, in one of the rooms, there was a cell phone laying on the edge of a sink, a $5 bill beside it, and a napkin with writing in what appeared to be chalk dust, with 3 letters that I could decipher, REA and an arrow pointing down towards the phone. I called in assistance, but then realized, the note must say READ and perhaps the message was on the phone. Yep, right on the mark, some guy had left a message for another housekeeper who he apparently had a conversation with, and decided to leave her a $5 tip....Whoa, pretty amazing on my part, right?
  However, back to the psychic business. I am like everyone else, I need to be told stuff. I was taught many years ago, never to assume, so I don't. I wonder, I try and deduce, but, the spirits do not speak to me. I am not Mr. Spock, or even Criss Angel, you want me to know something, either tell me, or pass a message through someone else (living). Assumptions cause nothing but trouble, and today was filled to the brim with that.
  I spent 1/2 an hour getting sh*t for things beyond my control. I have been going in early and working my butt off on 2 very large areas, that generally take someone all day to do one. I mentioned before how I was going to take my fair share, well, I have been. But, because of some unwritten rule, I am apparently responsible for ensuring all work gets done. Not possible!!
  I had a new person for 2 days. It was wonderful, she was experienced, and worked right along side me, but...I guess I over did things yesterday, promised her an easier day today, and lied! Now she is gone, a moment of sunshine, and back into darkness. She left the job hunched over, and apparently full of admiration for the job I go into do each day, said it was too much for her, and far too unpleasant. I wish I could have allowed her the opportunity of dipping her feet into the water, instead of instantly dunking her.
  If I was a fortune teller, I would have known yesterday that she would depart, in fact I would have known to call in sick this morning, so I didn't have a day from h-ll!
  I think there are on-line detective courses. Going to check into that right now!!

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

More Nit Picks

I know, I am always complaining! Well, those who have the pleasure of being in my company, have learned to pretty much ignore 3/4's of what comes out of my mouth. My Honey has learned to tune me out when I go on a rant (which is why we have lasted forever). But, you poor readers have to actually click in and, I bet you are always thinking "what is she b*tching about now?" I don't think I will ever stop finding something that annoys me, LOl, maybe it is what keeps me motivated?
  So, tonight, I came home from work, with a blank. I had no clue what I was going to write about, because, although I worked even longer than usual, I had an awesome day...go figure.I admit, I farted about, doing the usual doodley jobs, washed some dishes, made myself a delicious meal of hot dogs and Ichiban, with a cup of Orange Pekoe tea, as a touch of class to a classless meal. Still nothing, except the title. Walked the dog (well, drove out of town to a nice spot, stood there, eating Milk Duds, as he walked himself) nothing... Hauled my butt outside 1/2 an hour ago, sat in the Hot tub and instantly, things just started popping into my head that irritate me. I have plenty of fodder for a nice little blog, now.
  We will start with clippings. I think I have already written about Toe Nail man, but these are just your regular clippers. Now, here is a hypothesis(yep, the old biddie still retains a smidgen of her Science learnings). Say you invite a passel of friends and family to spend a holiday weekend in your abode. Weekend is over, and you are in the midst of clearing up, you get to your coffee table in the living room and find a collection of toe nail clippings. Pretty gross, eh? I suppose if you are really close to all those who attended, you could simply question everyone to find out who did this, but...generally you would shake your head, find something to protect your delicate skin, and drop them into the waste. But, you did know these people, and obviously liked them enough to have them in your home. The hotel is not my home, and the guests are not friends or family, however, they insist on leaving these collections. Usually they are right beside a waste basket, or an ashtray. Come on, dispose of your body bits, yourself. I will never clean a carpeted room in socking feet, why, because I have in the past, stepped on these bits, and don't ever want to do so again.
  Next, and a very close second, are Q-tips. Come on, these go inside your ears, and come out with your wax, yeew..that is disgusting. I just cannot pick up the darn things without tissue or something else, I know, it's not poop, but for some reason, it turns my stomach. Good thing I never went into the medical profession, can't imagine looking inside ears at all that wax buildup. Thankfully, apparently I do not have that problem, according to most of my family, you can look in one of my ears and see clearly through to the other side. Maybe that is why I have such an issue with wax? I will include ear plugs with the q-tips, although in some ways they are even grosser, they have been sitting in someone's ear for a long period of time. Do you think I have some issues? Do I need therapy?
  The last thing on the list (for tonight) are those new fangled floss sticks. I have always hated those strings of dental floss, and I am thankful they have almost disappeared with these new dealies, but...they are also capable of turning my stomach. I just don't like the idea of touching something that has been inside a strangers mouth, cleaning plaque!!! Oh, goodness, it is apparent I didn't have a chance for a career, as along with Ear, nose and throat specialists, I could never have been a dentist either.
  So, since sitting down and getting these irritants off my chest (so to speak) I wonder, how on earth did I find a job that requires me to deal with items that make my skin crawl on a daily basis. I also wonder if I can overcome my extreme queasiness with clippings and Q-tips, will I someday overcome my phobia of spiders?

Tuesday, 10 April 2012


No, this is NOT some knock off Grill, no need for George to worry at all. I wrote the word, and I am unsure if the spelling is correct, but, this is the word I heard, and therefore, it is what I will use.
  O.K. I realize that when I write these stories, there may very well be someone out there who reads it, and may have known the person I write about (or perhaps think they sound familiar). Let me say, this person has not been here for many years, so if there is some similarity to someone you know, I apologize, (kind of).
  Many years ago, back at the beginning of my "wonder years", we had a long term guest stay at the outlying units. He was a snot, to say the least, had his girlie magazines mixed with a ton of medication, kind of made a person wonder how he had any energy to think Girls ,when he had a pill for every minute of the day. This twit was on his own most of the time, but....every once in a while his nasty skunk of a wife would show up, for a conjugal visit. All right, maybe there was no conjugal going on, but, with the amount of magazines, a person had to imagine he had some sort of sex drive. Yeech..now that I write this, the vision appears, and it is horrible. I am not one to imagine other people having nookie, but these two should have been banned from copulation!
  Anyhow....He was not too bad alone, except...he was a power pooper. I know, we all have experience this at some point in life, (well I have)but this was daily. Each morning upon entering his bathroom, you would be confronted with a brown toilet. Hey, we wondered what on earth this man was up to, he didn't cook for himself, so obviously he ate at the hotel restaurant, but we didn't find this in other guests toilets..hummmm..
  Well, enter the "skunk" wife. I have to tell you about this one. She was never seen in anything but her nightgown. She was not young, and certainly not nubile, just a withered old crone (much more withered than yours truly). Apparently our maintenance man had the pleasure of a close encounter of the not so nice kind with this woman. He happened to show up to do some work in the unit, just after she got out of the shower. Guess she didn't dry properly, and her nightgown would not go down in the back, she apparently requested his assistance....yuck. My friend had this same request, more than once. She was warped, beyond imagination, and would always want to chatter. Most of the time it was all of her complaints, some about the unit, some about her husband, some about the town, or her job, or her very favourite, medical issues. I am sorry, I sympathize with close friends who have medical issues, I want to hear how they are doing, but listening to a complete stranger with a litany of diseases, and sores, is not in my job description. She was another of those women that would not leave the room while you cleaned.
  Not sure if I have mentioned this in the proper hotel guest list of rules, but please leave if you want your room cleaned!
  So, back to the Skunk. She became one of those dreaded jobs, we never wanted to go to that door alone, just in case she needed nightgown assistance, or something of that sort. On one day, she solved the brown toilet mystery when she was on a medical issue rant. It appeared that her beloved husband was the culprit. He was on this magic Med- Forman, which , perhaps those of you who have had the pleasure of this medication know, causes power pooping.
  Now, when we come upon a brown splattered porcelain throne, the first word out of our mouths is Med-Forman. It doesn't make the cleaning any easier, but we like to think that the pooper had no choice, and also that they are an over nighter, and we will not have the scrub fest the next day.
  As you can see, we are very educated on prescription drugs, one of the many perks of our profession. Who knew the amazing amount of trivia tidbits we would collect, simply from cleaning up after strangers. I have been blessed with so much useless information, and you, beloved readers, will continue to be privy to all I have learned, bit by sorry bit.

Monday, 9 April 2012

Fresh Start

I have deleted a couple of drafts, simply, because....My life has enough crapola in it, to add any more, and I have had to sit myself down, and do some serious thinking. I had actually thought of giving this incredible job up, yep...remember the "age inappropriate" blog? I just finished 6 days of harsh work, coming home each day all stressed out, and dumping my complaints on my Honey and friends. I got to the point where I hated myself, along with various sundry others. Have you ever had a job like that? I keep telling myself, I am there simply to receive a pay check, but...I also realize with my small amount of common sense, and my 1/2 century and some of having work ethics drummed into me, I had to produce, to feel deserving of the pay, right? I have plenty of days when I don't feel like pushing myself, cripes, it takes energy just to lift my aged body out of bed, and then to start my morning with a heaping plate of work, is difficult. I wish I was younger all the time. I remember those days, working all day, and then having left over energy to actually have a life. At my age, if I give as much as this job requests, I have nothing left for life. I look at others, they are younger, they likely have a life when they go home, and I am jealous. I am also confused, though, as most co-workers don't seem to realize that I am far older, and yet they accept that somehow, I can manage to do a large chunk of the work, and then have something left to tackle unending laundry.
  Well, surprise!!! I can't do this non-stop. It seems that I have hit the proverbial wall. Besides returning home dead tired, I am continually stressed. I have been here before, quite a few times during this job, but, this time, I have decided that rather than going in until the last straw finally breaks on my back, I will try a different tactic. This has me doing what I perceive as my fair share. Now, no worries, as I stated, I have a lot of years of work ethics stuffed down my throat, I will not be sluffing, I will simply be doing what is physically and mentally acceptable, and what I expect everyone else to do. I have never expected anyone to do more than me, or something I wasn't capable of doing myself. That is unrealistic. But, lately, I have found myself asking my Buddy, why we are doing so much more than we ask of most, and what we have been doing, is unrealistic to ask of anyone. I told you before, my friend is the skinnier, more energetic, and far nicer person, than myself. She may feel capable of doing more than me, because she is . Myself, I have no doubt that I have reached my limit. You can blame this on years of caffine, nicotine, and potato chips, but sadly, I can't take those years back, and admittedly, still consume everything on that list. Perhaps, if I had a clue back when I started those nasty habits, that I would be working my butt off at 56 years old, I would have given them up (NOT!!). But, whats done is done, and if I am to continue this fantabulous career (YUCK), I will have to make these changes.
  I am pleased to say, I am now on days off. I am enjoying a life outside a hotel room, and accomplishing things that I dream about while scrubbing toilets. I have made this decision, and feel like a weight has been lifted. I think I may have a few more years of housekeeping left in me, if I can just do the job of 1, and not 1 1/2. So no worries, you will still have the pleasure of more tales from the Toilet scrubbers.

Thursday, 5 April 2012


Wow, my day has been full of surprises, some good, some of course, down right unpleasant. Lets start with the good.
  O.K short staffed, rather badly, yet again, not at all looking forwards to a day like yesterday, but, I am beginning to think Karma is on my case, and I don't have a chance in the near future. I basically walk into work, tired. Now, don't get me wrong, I do all I am suppose to, I get a good nights sleep, in fact I hit the hay at about 8PM, what more can I do for rest? Oh, I also soak my cares away in my lovely brand new Hot tub, that is suppose to banish all aches and pains, and turn my thoughts to spring flowers, and sunshine. It's nice, but, sadly, the feeling of wonderful vanishes very quickly, upon waking. Now, it would certainly work much better, if I had soak sessions, throughout the day, Hah! Don't really even have time to pee, it's that busy!
  So, I am muttering down the hall, doing one room after another, each one, needs vacuuming, and wiping down, as it is clearly spring and the muck is here! I spy the first room that is always DND, sign is gone, he is long overdue for a weekly, so get that done, and feeling pretty good (hate the idea of someone going too long without clean sheets). Then I see another of my regular DND rooms, yikes, he is also overdue, and he is a new guest. I open the door slowly, as I have said, sometimes these DND's have a terrible pay back price, surprise!!! It is nice and neat, just needs a regular weekly, garbage is all in the container, dirty towels in the bath, this guy is wonderful!! Then I see it!!!! On his table there are two full-sized Cadbury bars, with a note thanking us for our wonderful service (hey, he has allowed me to by-pass his room for days). He is a long termer, and I am thrilled!! This person is following all my rules for the perfect guest. I had to leave him a note explaining my "blog hobby" and how without reading it, he managed to do everything right. Thank you Room ***!!
  This gave my spirits a lift, but they were soon dashed. I left the wicked witch till the last, as I had heard someone speaking in there earlier in the day. I hoped she had the day off, and wouldn't need anything, hah!Got my buddy to knock on the door, as I dread that room so very much. It is on my mind as soon as I go in. I expect it might be better to start with that one, and just get it over, but usually I am so angry at the mess, and inconsideration, I work myself into a frenzy, and get even more tired. So, my friend knocks, nothing, damn...that means I have to go in. Honest, you have no clue, she affects me like others get severe heart burn. My back hurts, my head aches, and I can't stop saying really foul words, upon entering that room. Most of them I never used to say out loud, in fact I used to hit anyone else who said them....with this job, those words flow freely, and if I got hit each time I said them, I would be a battered Housekeeper! In I go, not so bad, garbage is full and overflowing (question: how does one have so much garbage each day they can't fit it all into a can?) dirt on the floor, O.K. that's not so bad....Into the bedroom...That's when it gets bad. I AM female, and I realize certain female issues occur on a regular basis. However, they do not manifest themselves on pillow cases, but there was a nice red smear, not something that will easily come out in the wash. Practice told me it wasn't over yet (went through this just 2 days before as well) sure enough, all linens off the bed, basically toast. Oh, once it was made up all nice and fresh, I head into the bathroom. Crap..tub has all the towels, soaked, I should have known better, but habit has me to grab them up to carry them down the hall, which I did far to quickly to notice the smell of barf. I am not good with that, as I mentioned, and my brain really wanted me to rush home and shower, but not possible, so I had to ensure my clothes did not stink, and wash up to my elbows in hot water. How can one person be such a pig? I understand young people having a night, and finding a mess once in awhile, but this is constant, plus she has the balls (O.K. maybe not real balls) to complain on a steady basis. The next time she complains, I will bring the office person in to see what I have to deal with daily.
  So, in amongst the thorns, I have found a single rose. I have no clue what this person looks like, but, I am grateful to have them as a guest. We have a few like him, guys that are going to be long term, and are spotless, just wish they were the ones I was cleaning up after, instead of Bloody Mary!!! Yep, that's her name, and she will be forever remembered as such. (her name really isn't Mary, if you were wondering,lol).

Tuesday, 3 April 2012


Bet that title gets a few hits from outer Blogville, and there will be some disappointed folks. Oh well, too bad so sad. This is my blog, and that is the title that popped into my head at lunch time, so there!! Now, Anality, is it really a word? I don't know, if it isn't, then it should be, and if it's not in the dictionary, I will give the meaning to this word (in my mind) and then it will be so....
  Do you note a tad of snot about me? You should, because I am feeling very fricking snotty!!! I have had the rest and relaxation of 2 days off, sucked right out of me, within 15 minutes of walking into work!!Because of that, I will be taking more days off in the very near future, in fact in a couple of days!!!
  So, onto Anality. I use it because it sounds sort of painful, and crappy at the same time, and nowadays Anal is also used for stupid, therefore this word basically describes my day to a T!
   The stupid part, well, I think that is myself. I am tired of being an idiot, because I get concerned that the work will not get done, I start my morning off in a rush, working twice as hard as I should. I am unclear as to who will show up, I am unsure as to what will be completed, so I feel obligated to do the work of two people, working myself into a frenzy. Frenzys are not good, they take control of your whole being, they use up energy, that you may need for something else, they make you very, very tired and very very touchy, and then you appear to be a snot, well, you actually end up being a snot. I do not like being a snot!! I started my day with a smile, and this does not happen often. I walked in well rested, and ready, and then had to become stupid and work into that blasted Frenzy. Frenzys are difficult to get out of, the only cure is to spew to someone who understands, and thankfully I was able to do this, so the Frenzy is now history.
  So, the painful part of Anality, well, that is my back, feet, and head. The back from, doing one bed after another, my feet, well, old age mixed with swelling will cause that, and my head from the ache that started at 7:20 this morning.
  Crappy, Hah! That basically is what I found in a few toilets today. Yep, apparently we have some non-flushers, and other with excess amounts of glue poo, oh and my special guest is back, and she left me a mess in the sheets and on the mattress cover, so we are on track, been there 2 days!!!
  So, I think Mr. Webster would agree, Anality is a word that is a necessary part of the English, and perhaps many other, languages.I haven't even taken the time to research,if it is in the dictionary, and I really don't care, it will become a part of my speech, along with spermazodes, crapola, turdets, and various, sundry other descriptive phrases.

Monday, 2 April 2012


Ooops, sorry about neglecting my blog. I am on days off, wheee...and for the first time , in a very long time, I have not thought about work! Now, as I am getting to the end of the days off, thoughts of course, turn to the realization, tomorrow I return to the drudge.
  Oh things are all tickity boo at work, got staff, and it makes an incredible difference. For over a year, we have had to go in, put our heads down, and plow through, now, it is difficult to gear down, although I will give it a good try tomorrow.
  Hah! I hear from a few folks, who have been reading, and ,also, have to spend a lot of time in hotels. Now, I expect some housekeepers will be thrilled with the odd chocolate bar, left on the table, and that is a good thing. However, it seems now friends are checking things out, and have a slight fear of leaving their toothbrush out in the open.
  I thought today would be a day to alleviate some fears folks might have of housekeeping going through their personal possessions. I can't speak for all housekeeping, as I know for a fact that there are some bad apples out there, oh,oh, maybe you will see me as a bad apple by the time I am finished....
  My goal is to complete my work load, I just don't have the time to dig through stuff in rooms, except to clear a pathway in some of the messier ones. I admit to going in a suitcase once. That was when I had spotted the ginormous personal pleasure device on a bathtub, and told the others about it. We went into the room as a group (yes, we will do that, so hide your special toys) and checked out the tub, nothing, we pulled back the covers, still nothing, it had to be in there. The suitcase was open, and I did flip it back to check inside, nothing...It had apparently been placed out of sight, but we all knew something about that invisible lady, and her quality "me" time.
  So, that admission is now public, I apologize. I don't care about perfume, so never test any guests out, no way to hide the fact that you go into a room smelling like Lady Schick deodorant, and come out smelling like eau de toilette...(get the pun?) I certainly don't care about clothing, just that it is not on the floor. Nothing worse then some young female who enjoys leaving her thongs laying about. We do NOT want to have to get a stick to lift those off the floor, it grosses us out(FYI). So, no fear of me trying on outfits, except...my BFF...Years back she had this dream to get herself a leather jacket. Well, lo and behold, we are cleaning up a room, that looked like the guest had left, and there on a hanger was a beautiful leather jacket. Hummm...could they have forgotten that? Hey, quite possible, she was thrilled. Off the hanger and onto her back. It looked lovely, fit pretty good too. Bonus, free leather jacket. NOT!!! Apparently someone had checked back into that room, and had simply hung their jacket up. So, you can trust me not to try on clothes in rooms, but be careful of your leather jackets around my friend.
  But, since I am being honest, I will admit, watch your goodies. If someone has a container of Jujubes, with more than 30 (this is my personal system) I will help myself to 2. That way, I am almost positive the guest will not miss them. If there are less than that, it is forbidden. Just recently, my friend and I were doing a clean, and there was a huge bag of Caramels. I took 3, and then informed her as she went to help herself, that I had exceeded the "Take" limit, so she had to wait until the next day, when she quickly ensured she took 3, leaving me Caramel-less. So, I suppose, in all honesty, I do steal. Do I feel guilty, yes, very much so. I know it is only a candy or 2 or 3, but, it is still stealing, and for this, I again apologize. But, I did offer fair warning, right?
  So, as you see, you are reasonably safe in the hotel I work at, and I know not every place is like this, likely, not all housekeepers have a sweet tooth...But to be on the safe side, either count your candies, and leave a note if you are missing some, duct tape your containers shut..or as stated, many times before, leave those poor old bats a treat, it will make their day!