Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Monday, 29 June 2015

Dusty Books and Ripe Cheese

Thought twice about the title, but, apparently some things improve with age, wine and cheese being at the top of the list, and....surprisingly there is something else I never imagined.
  This past week has seen a huge rush in my life. Besides the sheer pleasure of spending time back in an area that feels like a warm embrace to my soul, I was shocked and amazed at something new I learned about ME.
  I have admitted more than once, I have reached a point in my life where I don't really give a damn about things that others worry endlessly over. I am a book judge, if I meet someone and I get a read on them that rubs me wrong, I don't want to deal with them any further. I either like, or intensely dislike. I don't have the patience or energy to pretend any longer, plus, I really don't see why toleration is required. Why is it not acceptable, beyond my world, to simply wash my hands of those who irritate? Why should I have to play a game that, in the end, does not do anything besides pi$$ me off? I have not benefited from pretense, it has, in fact, pecked away pieces of my world and my sanity, so...because time and energy are both limited, I made a conscious decision to erase pretense from my way of life, and, I am quite comfortable with most thinking I am a *itch, because, what they think does not matter in the least.
  So, I figured I was pretty hardened. My family often states I am mean, I assume, I am quick to judge, and...I don't like anyone! This is not true! I do like some, and...those I love, well, I love them with all the energy I save, not dealing with the rest of the crap. That is a whole lot of love! I knew I loved the special folks in my life, but until this past week, I didn't realize how much. I wonder if distance does indeed make the heart grow fonder, and returning to the place I feel at "home" the signal suddenly gets stronger?
  See, I cry..but usually it is because something hard has occurred, something that causes me grief or worry. Oh, I cry at the sound of bag pipes, I cry when I hear songs that take me back to places I remember, but this recent piece of my life has shown that in time, under my varathaned exterior, my tiny little pebble of a heart has turned into soft ripe cheese.
  My children are MINE, I raised them, they were my responsibility, and how they became grown adults, has most of the bearing on my honey and myself. How they appear to the rest of the world, can be attributed , in most part, on the job we did as parents. They, are those I brought into this world. But, there are others, who are right next in cue, in the lineup. There are those who are not connected by blood, but somehow tied with a pretty tight cord to me, and that connection, although has been long distance for many years, has become stronger. Again, I have to think it is because I gave up on trying to pretend about others who will never mean diddly to me, besides annoyance. I forgot how much those books I love, mean to me, and how much I miss having them close enough to spend time with.
  Those of you who witnessed the unexpected water works, may have smiled in surprise, but, it was only because I have spent far too much time away from my tiny collection of books that are worth my time and energy. I am torn, there are my children in one place, and the rest of my family in another. It didn't cause as much issue when I was busy ensuring my chapters in the books of three, were written carefully, and all my time and effort was directed there. I have Grandchildren who are close enough to watch each page as they are turned, but, somehow I missed so many pages from the other books I love. To be a part of a graduation and a wedding, and to now have yet another wedding around the corner, it is clear so many chapters have gone unread, and I want..no, I truly think, I need, to collect all my books in a place where I can pick them up, and just glance at them, to enjoy, because life moves at a fast pace. In a matter of one week, all of this, and amongst the happy times, the ending of the book of life for another.
  For a book lover like myself, I want to read them all! I realize it is not possible. I missed a couple of good books on this trip, and...that was not the plan. My daughter managed to read more than I did, and, I am jealous. I have come to realize it is time to collect my library, and sit down to open up the covers of those books collecting dust, because under the dust, are the finest reads of my lifetime, and it is long past time for me to begin my own new chapter. Just looking for the pen and paper to begin writing.

Thursday, 18 June 2015

Keeper of the Past

 Funny, you read how life is a cycle, but often you are too wrapped up in your own little world, you don't really notice how obvious that cycle is.
  This year, I have one niece graduating High School, one nephew graduating Culinary College, 2 nephews getting married, and one niece having a baby. Each and every one of these "children" I can remember as brand new babies. Oh, for sure, they will always be grouped in the kid section in my world, because...I am now old. I am so old I have a 15 year old Grand daughter!! Geez, next year that girl will be sitting behind the wheel of a car, and..it seems like only yesterday she was sitting in a baby seat.
  The cycle of my life has changed. I have graduated (believe it or not, 41 years ago, or is it 42!) I have married, I have had children, my children have graduated, one has married and had children, so I am whipping around that circle pretty darn fast.
  Wow! Just think about it....I somehow managed to do all of that, I stressed out more than once, for each and every moment these children still have to face. Hah! All those years of worry, and yelling, and crying, and struggling..and, I survived. What the heck did I worry so much about? All of that was not so bad.
  Now I have come to a place in life where I can sit and think about each and every one of the "children" in my life, family and "adopted family" (because I have been lucky enough to have some extra's added to my life). I can now look back and remember all the good stuff, all the things these children did that made me laugh. I remember a ton of stuff, they don't..because they were too young, and it passed them by, it wasn't a moment for them, it was simply gone. They all had moments that stay with me..I suppose that is part of what my place in the cycle is all about now. I hold the memories that they don't remember.
  Oh, it is a bit of a power trip, being in this place. I can take each and every one of them back to when they wore diapers, and I can embarrass all of them. In truth, I remember folks telling stories of what I was like when I was young..certainly wasn't the classiest kid on the block..perhaps I felt a smidgen of embarrassment, but in truth, I was a little thrilled. I don't remember who I was when I was little. I was too busy growing up. Oh, I remember things that seemed important to me, but, I didn't know me, as others saw me. I didn't remember the neighbourhood calling me "Lady Godiva", because those moments passed me by.
  My job, is to be the keeper of the past. I have memories of projectile vomiting into jackets, "maybe pee..Aunty Debbie", Bunny toes, children shoved out of the way in hallways because of Lizards, that is my place in the circle.
  I have the power to make those who feel they are all grown up, become a child in a moment. I have this power with my own children, but, I have the same with each and every one who has passed through my life. I have been blessed with a pretty decent memory, one that allows me to see pieces of the past vividly, to remember those who I have met along the way that found a place in my heart.
  I have worries and hurt, that sometimes fill my world, but...if I take the time, and remember where I have been, and how much living I have done, I can understand, I have come to a wonderful place in the cycle of life, I am the keeper of the past!

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

To Rent or Own

I have been reading a whack of stuff about high rentals in these parts. I do find the prices unreal, and in comparison to the high rate one pays in Vancouver. We certainly do not have the same perks as one living in the big city, but, hola...the cost of living around the north is pretty steep.
  As one who has been on all sides of the spectrum, renting, owning, and landlord, I can actually understand the extreme rent prices. Hey, not saying they are O.K., but..in truth, they are NOT the fault of the landlord.
 Take Fort St John for example. The average cost of a decent home, and I say decent, not high end, is close to 400thousand dollars. That itself, is insane! O.K. not the million it costs to buy in Vancouver, but..this is NOT the lower mainland. So, that hard part is managed, by a purchaser. Add onto that, all your closing costs, then your insurance...that has gone up at an extreme rate of speed, and averages about $1,500 a year. Read the fine print on that sucker, because...renting a home, will up that cost dramatically, and...the increase does not protect the landlord, it is there simply to click in if a renter files a liability case against the landlord if they are hurt on their property. That does not cover a speck of damage caused by nasty renters, that..well that price comes out of pocket. So, we will say $2000 for insurance. Ahhh..then come property taxes. Well, again, living in the north, one would think they would be reasonable, but..they are not, add on another 1500, or 3000, depending of course on the value of the property, which is pretty steep in FSJ.  Those are the basics. Then you have the essentials, heat, hydro, gas, and....the new one...water. That is a humdinger, price of that stuff goes up all the time. So, if they are included, that has to be calculated into the rent price.
  Then we have the unexpected. Repairs...Not a cheap proposition, and simple fixes can run into the thousands If a landlord has a nasty renter, well, that will negate a whack of that high rent they received, because every penny will go to fix the mess.
  So, put it all together, the mortgage cost, the insurance, the taxes etc. you are not going to find a place that is cheap, unless, it is a stink hole, that gets no repairs, and no upgrades, one that you will dish out for all utilities, and suck up the displeasure of living in the "hood".
  As one who had the teaching of my parents ring in my ears from a young age, I believed the most important thing a grown up had to do, was ensure they owned their own home. Well, as time has gone by, I question that. I have ran into the issue of owning a home in places that have hit economic down turns more than once. We have had to move, and...carry the costs of these homes each time, because selling them, would take a huge clump of cash out of our pockets, we would lose everything we put into them. Now, working to pay mortgages is not fun..when you carry two homes, with mortgages, insurance, taxes, and utilities, not much is left for living. We tried the renting thing, granted there were a few, the first renters we had, were wonderful, they actually improved our first home, but they were not the "norm", which we learned the hard way. Many times we simply accepted that all we were getting allowing someone to live in our home, was the fact that hopefully, they were paying utilities, because rent payments seldom arrived. To get a person out of a rental, is quite the ordeal, and takes a very long time (time without rent payments).
  Once again, the fact that we followed our parents instructions, and bought our home, we are faced with the problem of having it hang over our heads. This area is not Vancouver (as I have said more than once) it has it's own issues, and hurdles, all of which an owner has no control. Owning a home, does not allow one to give notice, a homeowner can't just head off to the bank and say they want their money back, because they wish to move.
  So....as one who has considered renting, I would have to calculate what it costs me. each year to pay for my home. I would have to calculate wear and tear, and I would have to ensure I had someone trustworthy to keep an eye on things, because I wouldn't be close by. I can tell you, the rent would not be cheap! It costs me an awful lot to have the "pleasure" of being a homeowner. So....I agree with renters, the costs are extreme, but, I also understand from the landlord's perspective, there is good reason they are high!

Saturday, 13 June 2015

Lulu's Crusty Lemon

  I wasn't going to, but...it was just too hard to left it alone..so..today, my personal rant on the recent Yoga disaster. Yes..yoga caused such a nasty uproar, and, only our lunatic of a Premier could have managed to pull that one out of thin air.
  June 21st,this year,  is the day we celebrate Father's Day So...yoga...not really a man's passion, right? I suppose there are a few guys who do the "backward dog"..or whatever, but, most of the crowds of folks bending and stretching are..female. ,,, Why not decide on this day, to celebrate Yoga, so all the Dad's can troop off to watch a bunch of women bending and stretching...O.K. then...maybe for a lot of guys this would be a lovely way to spend their day? LOL
  Then, and of utmost importance here, not trying to step on all the Dad's toes...it is also National Aboriginal Day. Now this is new, this is something that perhaps, (in my mind) hopefully, got the rest of the country to spend one single day, learning about our First Nations. Taking time to enjoy their pride in their dances, their food, their costumes, etc. We have Chinese New Year, we have Ukrainian Christmas, we have Octoberfest, we have Dragon Boat races, we open the doors, and advertise and promote a ton of ethnic celebrations in the media, and...hey, it's all wonderful!
 Aboriginal Days should have been a hot topic on TV and radio, our Premier should have made some sort of plans to show her respect on this one and only day, set aside for our first people to show their pride in their history.
  What does that moronic, drug induced grinning (come on, it is not natural) twat do? She stands up, with cameras surrounding her, and...decrees (because everything Queen Crusty says, is a decree) our province is going to have a nice big party for Yoga!! That party is going to be on June 21st, fine! Apparently world Yoga day (and I didn't know Yoga had a day) is, indeed June 21st. It appears other folks knew this day, so they had planned a nice celebration on the grass, in a park. Hey..it's a free world, well sort of.....Nope, with all the assistants that Cheshire cat faced female has, her plan was..wait for it...shutting down a major through fare bridge, and doing Yoga in the middle of it!! Honest folks..I didn't dream this insanity up..my government did! Makes a person feel all warm and secure, knowing this is how their brains work, eh?
  She mentions not a single word about Aboriginal days, this the woman who claims she wants to work with FN's, and respects them, and gives them consultation and consideration..Hah! She got so mixed up, she forgot First Nations are our aboriginal people, not East Indians! She decided she would rather cow-tow to those folks with Bolly wood, and curry, and sweat shops, with child labour, instead of respecting those who hold the treaties, and control over the province she lives in.What Crusty lemon did was nothing short of atrocious..she disrespected, and insulted all aboriginals, and many of us who call B.C. home. She decided she didn't like the celebrations we already had, and wanted to make her own.
  Well, the whole shebang has since been cancelled, not one word of apology to First Nations, not one word of apology to the tax payers of the province, no apology at all..Before she clued in, that she had gone way beyond the limit, she felt the urge to show the people of British Columbia what she truly thought of us..She doesn't give a rat's a$$ what we think. She is the almighty Crusty, and if we don't watch out, she will bend over in her Lulu lemon pants in the middle of Burrard Bridge and insist we kiss her Crusty butt!
  It is well past time to move this arrogant woman far away from B.C., maybe India, maybe China, maybe Uranus, because that is where she keeps trying to stick us!
    Above this picture Crusty tweeted "Hey Yoga Haters-Bet you can't wait for International Tai Chi Day"


Friday, 5 June 2015


Wow!! Right now, I am wondering how the F*ck I managed to work all these years, and...still keep a clear pathway in the house. It is apparent, that is pretty much all I managed, a tiny little pathway, some cooking, and laundry! I don't even have little kids to deal with, yet, I am totally overwhelmed.
  I admit, I am one of those people who start one project, and as I am attempting to finish it, I glance up, and suddenly there is another project, oh no...there is more, and more, and HTF am I going to get it all done!!
  Tomorrow, I am going to attempt to make a list. Oh, that in itself will be frightening, but..maybe if I have a goal, maybe just finish 2 or three little jobs, or one ginormous one? I already know that will fall to the wayside. My mind has me doing a couple of different things, at all times...is this a female trait? If I could simply concentrate on one thing, turning a blind eye to everything else surrounding me, I would likely finish. Instead I go hell bent for leather, get almost all of a job done, and then...it is the itty bitty picky stuff, that's when I head off in another direction. Oh, I know exactly what I am doing, but in my head I insist..it will just take me a couple of minutes first thing in the morning, and if I go into this other job, well, that will be a couple more minutes to finish two things...Hah!
  Now, into this mix, we must add the summer season issues.....O.K. I am coming clean here, bear with me. My tiny little brain also must gauge weather. It is rather warm right now, so......things outside need doing. You know, lawns, pressure washing, weeding etc. So....my (obviously flawed) instincts tell me, it is best to do the outside stuff during the day, as inside it will get far too warm, again...hah! What happens is, if one spends all day outside doing jobs, they will become just a wee bit too tired to wash some walls in the cool (hah!) of the night, indoors.
  I know my system isn't working, that is pretty clear. I have a carpet shampooer sitting in the middle of my bedroom..yes, I shampooed, but, just didn't have the energy to waste putting it away..I have the pressure washer sitting out front, yes, I managed to wash everything I set out to do..well, maybe not the top deck, but that's not really visible, but..too tired to put that away. I have supper made, still sitting on the counter, I have 1/2 the lawn mowed, mower of course parked behind a tree, so it is not in my line of sight. I have a flip flop on the living room floor, with the remains of a spider that was crawling on my damn curtain..don't really want to deal with that, but I did kill the spider!!!
  What happened to my big plans? I thought when I took a lay off, I would accomplish everything in a week, Hah! Somehow I have managed to make a bigger mess of the whole damn place, and not one single project is close to finished...At this point, I am thinking of investing in a pallet of garbage bags, I already have the shovel, perhaps a few cases of tremclad spray paint (if I taped things, and used the right pressure, it could work, right?).
 This is why I dream of the minimalist life! A small house, a yard filled with, maybe some nice green turf, and a lovely neighbour who has this unbearable urge to do everyone's laundry, and supply them with meals.....I think then, I might just be able to relax, and maybe find a hobby, like oh, I don't know..blogging?