Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Tuesday, 15 December 2015

T'is The Season To Remember

Ahhh. I suppose I am getting a little ahead of things, but..I have the time, and the urge, so here goes my Christmas musings.
  I am getting old! That much I have had to accept. My bones ache, I have lost the ability to open simple things like jars, or, sometimes even doors! My hair is dull, my skin has dried, I can not longer see as well as yesterday. I hit the hay long before the rest of the world, and crawl out of bed at an ungodly hour, all because my body has changed it's whole routine.
  Unlike my parents, I do like much of today's music..so...that is a bonus,LOL. I don't care if folks now, want to show their underwear, although I still cannot understand why...I don't care if others in my age group refuse to accept they look their age, and perhaps should tone things down a little. I don't care if Joe Blow likes green hair, and bones in his nose, hey, that's his choice. Sure I might cringe a little, because I have always hated even having a resistant booger stuck in my nose, so a bone, well, I just imagine it would be irritating..but..if he wants it, his decision, it doesn't affect me! See, if something doesn't have bearing on my life, well, fine and dandy..
  I now work pretty steady (for this I am somewhat grateful). My days consist of the same routine, over and over, but, in truth, it could be worse. I could be all alone, I could have fallen through the cracks, run into something really dreadful, and be on the streets, without the simple things in life. I know that those living that life, at one time were not lost.
  As I have mentioned many times, I don't participate in much of a social life, but....I did once! I lived a pretty excellent childhood, and entered into an amazing relationship, and although times right now, may not be the best, and I may not feel 100% every day, I have something that, thankfully, I can enjoy, any time the mood hits me. I have Memories!
 At this time of year, those flash back on a constant basis. Just a few days ago, someone put a post on (of course) Facebook, about rewinding and pausing a time way back in the past. Bam..Butterscotch pie!! My Mom was a magnificent baker. We had lemon pies, raisin pies, (yucky mincemeat pies) French meat pies, apple strudel, jellyrolls, and...my ultimate favourite, Butterscotch. I grabbed my Mom's recipe book, turned to the right page, and made my own pie. I admit, it did not look like my Mom's, but...when I licked the spoon, I groaned...I savoured that taste, it was a taste from my childhood, what a wonderful thing! So although I also admit, I ate the whole damn pie..that taste was filled with emotions. To cry while eating pie..who would have thought? But that I did, because, those days of Mom's pies have been gone forever, and I miss them desperately. However, she left that, something I can replicate, just a little, and bring back a teeny tiny piece of time gone by.
  I do a lot of stuff as Christmas draws near, to remember the past. Although, unlike my Mom, I am not a great baker, there are certain things I must bake..well two things..Shortbread cookies, and butter tarts..Christmas is not complete without those two things. I know darn well my kids will remember these, because they are expected. I try to always have a Christmas candle, because, again, my Mom always had one of those sitting on the window ledge over the kitchen sink, usually one with the Nativity scene on it, flickering away. She would make her turkey stuffing with the giblets, now, I am sure some folks feel raisins and walnuts make for a better addition, not in my house! Stuffing without the giblets is unacceptable, and anything else foreign is not happening! That is tradition, and I am confident, I have now managed to pass this on, to my own kids. Funny, memories are tapped through all senses.
  Songs, Christmas songs, can take me to snowy evenings, in the little Church across the road. Two wonderful missionary women, handing out bags of Christmas candy and Japanese oranges, as we leave near midnight, on Christmas eve. Me jealous, because all my German and Austrian friends going home from church, will be opening their gifts, and I have to wait until the morning. I think I put up with this for a year or two, and then appealed to my Mom, and was granted the ability to open one gift after church. Oh, the gifts would be handed to my little brother and I, and....I don't understand how she managed it (LOL) they would always be new Pajamas! Yep, we always had a nice new pair of PJ's in all the Christmas morning pictures. PJ's were also, strangely enough, the gift my kids got to open the night before.
  The year I got my two wheel bike. I am sure there must have been easily 6 feet of snow on the ground, but that things was wheeled down the front steps, out onto the road, and I painfully made my way to the end of the block. I don't think I pedaled because I had no clue how to ride, but I took the thing out. Naomi Blokker somehow taught me how to ride long before winter was over!
  One year, my Mom bought me about 4 wigs..You know that ad in the comics and papers, along with the one for the Sea Monkeys, of all these amazing wigs for some incredible price? Yep, that's what I asked for, that's what I got. O.K. some years I made some pretty stupid requests, and that was definitely one of them! I never once wore one of those things out in public, but, I got what I asked for.
  Now in my house, we don't dress up for Christmas, but back then, we did, because the house would be filled with company. My Mom would put on her plaid skirt and grouse pin, with her Ross Tartan sash, my brother and I would be duded up, him in his cowboy shirt, and his own rope tie dealie, me in my dress and white leotards (about the only time I wore white), and even the dog would have one of those sticky red bows on her, and we were set for the best day of the year. It was, the best!
  I am not saying every Christmas day, as a kid, was wonderful, because I have a few that were not so great, but those I try and set aside, don't want to remember them, there is no need..over the years, I would far rather leave the remaining room, for those times that I hope will remain with me, to bring smiles, and fond tears, and the knowledge that those I loved, are still close by, and I can bring them closer with a Butterscotch pie, or the scent of lavender, old spice, and the sounds of Away in the Manger, or the flicker of a candle.
  So, I wish all a Very Merry Christmas, and hope that each and everyone of you enjoys spending the time with those who may not be seen, but are only a memory away.

Thursday, 10 December 2015

No More Funny K Oakley

 Just recently, a friend mentioned that I had stopped writing blogs about funny stuff. I understood what she was saying, and it gave me pause, to figure out what has happened to that side of me. I will say, I enjoyed telling those tidbits of hotel trivia, and I hope some of the stories have enlightened those who spend time in hotels. The whole idea, when I started was to ensure some of that stuff was not forgotten, some of those characters I wrote about were so unique, they had to be shared, so those of us who encountered them, never forgot.
  Perhaps it is because we don't get very many characters now? Most of our guests are hardworking guys, who just don't do things that make one shake their head. I am sure the time will come, when we get a real winner again, but, they have been few and far between, lately.
  I really don't think it is the lack of characters that has caused me to fixate on the gloomier side of life, I think it is more likely, life has battered me with far too much crapola the past few years, and I have become even more jaded, and find it harder to put a humorous spin to things. No, my life is not devoid of smiles and laughter. I do enjoy moments with people who, like me, can let their guard down, and just go to a place that a single word, "Guano", or..a series of words "ooooooooh..ever cute" can send all of us into peels of laughter. I love those moments, they allow all the stress, and anxiety to disappear, and my body to relax,to simply live for the moment. I am not so foolish that I don't understand, everyone else needs those moments as badly as I do. We share the desperation to forget all that drags along with us, day after day, and embrace the opportunity to focus on fun.
  See, I admit, I am a bit of a loner. Not much of a social butterfly, and extremely picky about those who I let into my space. I also admit, I have to work hard to be happy, it is something that comes naturally to very few people, and I am certainly not a natural optimist. Most of the time, having fun, takes at least two, cripes, I guess, in truth, all of the time, well, at least for me. I can lose myself in a good book, and belt out some laughter when I read something that tickles my funny bone, there are a few shows that have the ability to make me listen to myself chuckle, and I have to say, it is almost eerie, to laugh all alone.
  Fun, is not a single pass-time. Oh, we can say we had "fun" spending the day in the garden, or "fun" reading a book, but..truthfully it isn't fun, it is pleasure, not quite the same thing. Fun is something that needs company, that can mean people or pets, but, not me, myself and I. So, yes, I enjoy the pleasures of life. My pleasures in life are,my dogs, books. Lays potato chips, coffee and....(whisper) nicotine...Those are my pleasures now, because the reality of life has required everyone else to leave, and I now spend most of my time, outside work, alone.
  I think that is probably why I have changed my writing. I spend so much time alone, and most of that time is quiet, so my thoughts are always on what events caused me to be placed in the position of living a single life, when I am not single. I wonder why, now that I am heading into the "golden" years, my honey is off, 1/2 a day away from me, and neither one of us enjoys this fact. I spend hours and days, and weeks, trying to figure out what we did wrong, and how long are we going to have to continue this. I wonder if I will continue on the hamster wheel of life, spinning around in the same circle, wake up, go to work, come home, eat, go to bed, with only the dogs for company, and the moments of social interaction between toilet scrubbing. This living apart is not something new to us, we did it many times over the years, but back then, our kids were young, and aside from a lack of adult socializing, I was not totally alone. This time, things are different, and to think it hasn't affected me mentally, would be foolish.
  So...after much thought, I guess this is the answer I have, for the change in my blog. I don't have to work near enough to try and be nice, or funny, because my dogs are pretty accepting, and my job consists of being by myself, most of the time.
  I will say, I appreciate those few times, that I get to laugh, and I realize I am luckier than some, because there are still some, who laugh with me! Thanks guys!!!

Sunday, 29 November 2015

Lost in Left Field

O.K.  It is likely pretty obvious I am not a Trudeau lover. I absolutely HATED his father, and already can't stand to listen to the twit Pierre produced (well, Margaret did). I also must admit, I really never knew much about Liberals as a political party before, and have attempted to open my eyes and find out who they are.
  I know, I have probably been squinting, my eyes might not be wide open, but, it is impossible for me to open them more than tiny slits, because the glowing white light shining off of them, is blinding! Who the F*ck knew there were so many holier than thou's floating about this country?  They are beyond the regular bleeding heart NDP'ers, they are perfection, they are all Animal Farm Pigs, with the answers to every problem. They stand on podiums quietly droning, unlike those who holler (like myself) speaking in hums and umms, not really saying anything of substance, but informing everyone else that they are dirty, because they just can't find their way to the Liberal Grail.
  Now, not sure how, but when there was a change in our government, we apparently found a huge treasure chest of un-used money! No one told us about all this money! The past government must have lied beyond lying, because they kept telling us we had to tighten our belts, there was no money to spare, things got cut, one after another. Now we seem to have a sh*t load of cash to throw about to other countries..I assume that means those of us who paid into that stash will soon see our rewards..Heehee..Oh I am not that stupid, I know there will be no rewards for me, I am simply a lowly worker ant, drudging along, barely making ends meet, and stuck somewhere in the grey area, where those often mentioned "middle Class" folk hang out. Yes, one of those who heard some pretty wonderful fables of how life was going to get so much better for us (the backbone of the country).
  So...the big world picture, of course, takes center stage, before dealing with us sorry middle class, the big picture of Climate change.
  O.K. again...I am not a great believer in this scary monster. I believe climates do change, but, that is natural. I believe what the Inuit are saying...the earth has tilted, the stars and planets they have watched for centuries have moved position, therefore things on our green planet are a tad out of whack. But...of course the Inuit are not university educated scientists, so what the heck do they know? No sense in putting any stock in their words, we will jump on the climate change band wagon, and put the blame for everything on people, because....Mother Nature never throws a wrench into things, man is always the culprit.
  I have never really understood what all the money handed over to other countries was all about..until today. Today I was blown away, because it was explained simply, so idiots like myself , finally understood. I will explain what I heard experts state, and you can make up your mind whether this makes any sense to you..it doesn't make a lick of sense to me.
  O.K. my country, which right now has lost tons of manufacturing jobs, Bank jobs, phone jobs, in truth, jobs of all sorts, to off shore countries, my country that is now experiencing unemployment, homelessness, cut-backs on Health, education, etc., apparently developed beyond third world countries, because we were very dirty!! Yep, we polluted the air with coal, and other nasty stuff. We built factories and mines and logged, and drove about, spewing garbage into the world, making a horrible mess, all so we could have jobs and make money. We did this all wrong! So...because we screwed up so badly, we have to ensure the developing countries don't do the same as we did, and we are going to send them a boat load of money (not just us, many other countries) so they can develop in a more environmentally friendly way.
  I am sure I have this all wrong, I have to..because it just doesn't make sense to me. We are sending billions to countries like China..YES China..who has already got most of the manufacturing jobs we used to have, a country that is richer than we could hope to be, a country that is stuffed full of pollution, because they don't give a rat's A$$ how they make money, and what happens to the air, water, and earth, and we are going to give them this money so they can stop belching out sh*t, and clean up they way they are making money!
  We are INSANE!!! We are paying people to take our economy and flush it down the toilet! Are we so stupid as to think the almighty dollar they get to produce the amounts they do, will suddenly be clean? Are there really people out there who think this handout is going to go towards a good cause? Do you trust a country that doesn't listen to the rest of the world, one that does as they wish, and appears to be thriving because of this? Is there someone out there who believes this money is really going to fix pollution and climate change? Well, I am a Fairy Godmother, and if you all send me $10, I will grant you three wishes..You can believe me as much as you can believe this sh*tload of cash is going to go towards stopping the crap in the air over China!You see, China was smarter than us, already. Unlike all those nasty phone lines my country used, China started with cell phones, right off the bat..oh, they are so much better! BS..I know they must have had a phone or two floating about before cell phones, but..true enough, probably nowhere near as many phones as North America..dirty filthy pigs that we are.
  So..the whole idea behind handing out money, is...to ensure those countries that somehow managed to get our jobs, find a cleaner way to continue making money, and not produce the emissions we do. I have to think, if we continue handing out money, our emissions will truly diminish, because...we will become green as a result of not having an economy to speak of.Good to know, the folks with the great economies will certainly be much more astute than we were!
  I have come to understand, besides being a filthy polluter, I am a racist, a bigot, and un-Canadian, all thanks to the people who live life on the left. Oh thank goodness we have such a pretty Prime Minister, who doesn't seem to know West is left..East is right, and is not threatening the folks in La Belle Province with putting the boots to nasty jobs...If he can join forces with Ms. Nut Job, and Crispy Crusty (perhaps if he blinks his eyes and lets them touch his hair?) he can just screw the west and make enough brownie points in the East to keep on handing out the prizes. He has to know..he is bound to hit dust when the treasure chest dries up...Oh but, that's right, he left everyone else in the dust, he is the greatest...He is SQUEALER!!(Animal Farm..give it a read)
  BTW..I was a little confused with the left and right of the Liberal Party, but there is little doubt Justin tips to the far left. Left is fine, I lean left on somethings..but one can't focus on one side, and forget about the other, because sooner or later they are going to bite the dust!

Sunday, 15 November 2015


Been awhile...I have wanted to sit down and natter, but, suddenly life has become extremely hectic, and I just can't seem to find the time. Until now, until something so ginormous has collided with my world, and I take issue with how things are being perceived and dealt with by those in power. I understand, we ALL have the right to PO's..that is personal opinions, and although mine is not what seems to be the momentary politically correct one, hey...going to put it out there, because I can!
  ISIS ..wow..who would have imagined 4 letters would take a chunk out of life as we know it. O.K. this is not the first time in recent memory that the middle east has decided somewhere else in the world is not following their rules and deserves to be punished. The words Radicals and extremists have been bandied about. Well...duh....terrorists, there is another one..Of course they are, but....they don't live here in North America, they don't live in Paris..or do they?
  If there are folks sitting at home in Nebraska, or Saskatchewan who think they don't live down the road from them, they are fools! Granted there are not a sh*tload of them settled nice and neatly on the 3rd floor above John and Judy Doe, but, they are here...They are the people who stick out like sore thumbs, who have a great big weight hanging off their shoulders, and a bone to pick with anyone who questions them. They are the people who scream blue murder because the rest of the country requires them to follow rules they don't like. They are the ones who refuse to assimilate, although they chose to come here, they made a conscious decision to leave their homeland, and their laws to move to a place with different laws.
  Sorry, just have no stomach for the bleeding hearts, telling me I must accept lifestyles and beliefs I find totally medieval, just because someone decided they wanted a change of scenery. If the lifestyle and beliefs are so important, stay where they are rooted, don't pack up, and spread your sh*t all over my country, and tell me I have to deal with things. NO..you have to deal with it, or...if you don't want to, don't get on that plane, with the mindset you have more rights, and you have the power to change laws that have worked reasonably well up until this point.
  I cringe when I read statements that the acts of terror and our reactions to Islam are just what the bad guys want. Oh, don't fall for this, they want folks to become Islamaphobic (not my word). Really? Why, so we close the door to the refugees, and the bad guys get to keep them? Are grown people that stupid that they think all of this is so that ISIS gets to keep the refugees, and if we don't close the doors they are going to be ticked? What lunatic came up with this reasoning?
 Politically correctness is going to kill our world as we know it. People unable to argue matters because they are instantly labelled racist, cold blooded, fear mongers. Why are we to sit silent while people who have lived their whole lives in 3rd world conditions, with habits and ways of life that are so backwards and so chauvinistic, invade our world? Honest to goodness, folks, I would love to save all the downtrodden children in this world..but...do you really think because a family that has lived in a world that treats children and women as collateral, moves to a country that does not do this (as a rule), they are suddenly going to change? Do you think Daddy Dearest is suddenly going to say to his wife and children, we are all humans, you deserve respect? Do you think these women and children will be calling social services because they are still being beaten, and abused, risking the man being punished? Do you really think they will come to our doorstep and open it, and suddenly they will mutate, and embrace the new world?
  Nope, you are simply bringing in a large group of folks who don't want to change their lives, they just want to change their location. Yes, they don't want to be shot, they don't want to be bombed, they don't want to be pushed out of their world, but..they don't want to belong to the world of those who are not Muslim.
  For the sake of those reading, I don't hate Muslims, I don't hate Jewish folks, I don't hate Jehovah Witnesses, I don't hate Mormons (Scientologists..well got a bit of the eebie jeebies with them). I don't give a rats behind what religion you believe in, or even if you don't believe in anything. That's your right, and your PO. However, when you start to push your beliefs and your values onto others, in fact, when you force the rest of the world to morph so that you feel comfortable, that is when I have a problem.
  Yes, Islam has been around for a very long time, Buddhism has been around for a long time, Druidism has been around for a long time, but the roots of these religions are in countries far away. Cultures are often based on religion, but, most religions do NOT exclude the rest of the world, even if they are non-believers, those days, we thought were over. We were suppose to learn wars should never be fought for a God. God's , if they are above humanity, do not want killing. We have read history that tells of horrors fought in the name of religion, in my lifetime, wars have been fought, and lives lost, because one's almighty beliefs were different than another, well, actually, it was just their PO on what the rules were.
  Religion is the most difficult battle to wage, because most writings made in the name of religion abhors murder, life is most precious, and always a gift.
  Yes, the people committing these horrors are extremists, but, they are also religious fanatics, not adverse to using humans as walking bombs, using women and children as dispensable fronts for their resolve. I am sorry for those who must live in a world such as that, but Muslim murderers are popping up all over the world, and there are many incidents that they overlook hostages that profess to be fellow Muslims, and kill women and children that are not. Those refugees that are fleeing are for the most part Muslim, in the big picture of what is happening, they hold the golden card, tattered though it is...When it comes down to brass tacks, folks, religion is what this is all about, and I am sure, not a single person coming out of their Syria Law (Sharia law Arabic: شريعة) is the body of Islamic law. The term means "way" or "path"; it is the legal framework within which the public and some private aspects of life are regulated for those living in a legal system based on Islam.) country, will allow any of those teachings to dissolve, simply because they abide in another country!
  I believe in compassion, but, I don't believe in blindly accepting all, when those already living by the rules, have their rights and their security compromised. Rules have to be set, contracts have to be signed, histories have to be checked. We already know what happened when we allowed a whack of Nigerians in, and the baddest of the bad sailed on into our world along with those fleeing the same people. We need to check folks out, we don't need to allow family members a free ticket in, just because someone else is here already. Cripes, again, families have collections of dirty laundry, so just because one shows up shiny and bright, does not mean everyone else they are connected to, is the same way! Oh but they are living in deplorable conditions, they have to be rushed through...No they don't! Not all have the right to come in the door, just because there is a swarming mass, does not mean we can't carefully weed through the garbage. If the door opens and all come in, it is far more difficult to get rid of the stink, because, as our new bright eyed leader states, once they are here, they are entitled to all that the rest of us are, and getting anything through a court of law in our country takes forever, at the best of time. Let's take this slow and sure, lets make sure these are truly people in fear for their lives, people who are willing to follow our laws.
  I am NOT Islamaphobic, I believe most God's are cut from the same cloth, just different names, and different tweaks, all based on good things, holy things, and all that is holy is pure, and bright, and precious, not death, and destruction.
  I say Life be Praised, and protected. Slow and steady wins the race..so lets just take our time, and not jump into the fire. The conditions they are fleeing, if unbearable, they will be willing to wait until they pass the test that must be given. No free pass for anyone!!
 Just MPO!!

Wednesday, 21 October 2015

You Knew It Was Coming

LOL..Well, I expect most of you knew at some point I would find it impossible to put down my thoughts about our recent Federal Election. Here it is!!
  First off, did my party get in? Nope!! Well, it did get the seat in my area, because....most of us living here, realize, the party that did get in, doesn't give a rats ass about anyone outside of their vision. How do we know this? Because we have experienced this party before, and life has gone down into a nasty little recession, with jobs going down the toilet (faster than they are right now) and folks who are typically Blue collar, losing everything they have worked for.
  Our "new" Prime Minister, well..folks, you know I speak from the heart, and I don't mince words, because then I would not be true to myself, is a total idiot!! He won this election, not on a platform beyond legalizing pot...whooo got the young vote with that one...he won simply because his last name, and his social standing.
  Go ahead, tell me different! Has he promised anything that will in fact make the life of the Middle Class...heard this term out of the boy born with a golden spoon down his throat, one too many times, better? A boy who lives on a trust fund, and does not know what working for a living means. A boy who thinks (and of course the media and public allow him this joy) he is good looking, and has great hair. A boy who cannot speak more than 3 words without pausing, leaving one to assume he is listening to a voice in his ear telling him what to say. A boy who decided he would be just like his daddy, and run on his fathers coat tails. A Boy who claims British Columbia roots, which basically means his mother, who was well known to party and sleep with a large chunk of folks including at least one of the Rolling Stones, while growing up, and...while married to Daddy dearest, came from here. His mom doesn't know where she is from, she simply knows the finest area of Vancouver, because she too, had that golden spoon caught in her throat.
  Am I bashing because he has only known the good life? Nope!! I am bashing because he offers nothing!! He offers the country a cut in military spending, he offers the country open doors, and welcoming arms to folks who he states are allowed all benefits Canadians work and pay for, even if they commit acts of terror. Helloooo..excellent!! He promised to lower CPP, well, his bottom line, folks, is above the line we were going to get. but again, no one really heard what he was saying, because they were too busy looking at his Elvis smile, and, of course his hair!!
  I said this when the States voted in Obama, he won simply because media built him up, and...he played in the circle of the rich and famous Hollywood folks. Not because he was smart, nope, because his appearance was appealing. Same thing with Justin, he is young, appealing to students and stupid women, he is surrounded by the media darlings,and,  he has the right last name.
  F*ck!! I am so sick and tired of people assuming that because two people have a child, and those two people are either smart or ethical, or organized, that whatever they conceived is going to be the same!! I hear that crap on a daily basis, and I just want to scream. Good people often produce nasty offspring. Smart people can raise an idiot! Your last name means diddly!! I can't fix anything mechanically, and I suck at math, my Father could put engines back together, and solve pretty much any math problem given! I had the same last name as he did!!
  I am fed up with folks chosen to run a country, run my life, who have no clue what they are doing!! Our country wanted CHANGE, well, we are certainly going to get that!! Are we going to like it? Well, I expect some will, those who have a whack of money, and don't need to work for a living. But..those of us who have to pay for all the perks it takes to maintain him in power, someone who apparently feels the budget will balance itself, well, we are in for a very bumpy ride, but hey..we can look with pride at the photos, because, he cuts a pretty fancy figure. A new PET for Canada, FUDDLE DUDDLE!!!

Tuesday, 1 September 2015


  Hey, ranted away on another subject, but decided I just didn't want to finish it...so..sat down and figured out a way to leave my day off housework, for just a little while longer.
  Last night my youngest daughter (23) informed me she had just finished watching "To Kill A Mockingbird". Now, this amazing story was, and still is, listed in the top 3 books I have ever read (and I have read a flipping ton). Ms. Harper Lee was able to take readers right back to that nasty time, when Racism ran rampant, and as painful as the basis of her novel was, it was a lesson for me. It was a lesson for many of my fellow students when we were assigned this novel, and it came to life even more when I paid my 75 cents to watch the black and white movie.
  Both my grown daughters have enjoyed this book, and my oldest asked me why it was no longer assigned for required reading. Well, it is loaded with the N word, and that is offensive, right? At the time of my reading I had never encountered a Negro, and I use that word because...that is what I learned when studying the people of the world. I am a Caucasian, there are Asian people, East Indian people, North American Indian people..and...somewhere in the list..there are Negro people. However, as I read, I understood how unfair one group of people were treated, simply because of their Genetics, and I knew I would never ever want to dislike a whole world of folks, just because they have different characteristics than my own. Cripes I am so white, the sight of my bare legs would blind someone I have duck feet, and stubby crooked thumbs, all a result of genetics, but I had no say on any of this, I am simply a result of a mix of Scottish and French Canadian DNA, that shows to the outside world, inside, I am ME.
 Yes, I judge a book by the cover..I will take an instant dislike to someone, it is not because of their looks, it is because something they say or do, rubs me wrong, and in my tiny little world, 95.9% of those who rub me wrong, are Caucasian, because through no fault of my own, just logistics, they are who I meet.
 Perhaps unlike the average person I associate with, I also have spent a fair bit of time with First Nations, or...as I learned in school..North American Indian. I have, in fact, spent the majority of my life with an amazing man who is Gitxsan. I fell in love and made a life with him, not because of his DNA, but because of who he is..O.K. I admit, I thought he was pretty handsome when I got hit by cupid's arrow. But, see, I never gave a moments thought to the fact that he wasn't lily white, skin colour means nothing to me. Who the heck doesn't think that Denzel Washington is a gorgeous man? I have a crush on Kunai Nayyar (Raj on Big Bang) just because I find something very appealing about the person I see on TV.
  But, the saddest part of Killing the Mockingbird, is I understood. I understood that no one group of people is better. Skin colour, traditions, culture, heritage , whatever, do not encompass all within it's group. Because people of my colour have, in the past, been the explorers, and the uninvited immigrants in many countries around the globe, that does not make me less than others. I accept that wrong was done, I accept that promises must be kept, I accept that we are all humans, people of the Earth.
  I do not judge by race, creed or colour, I judge by the single person. I am trying very hard to make things right, I wish only for acceptance from those who I must share space with, while I live my life out. The most difficult part..why can those who feel they were treated (and they are certainly not mistaken) unfairly in the past, not accept to stand on equal scales with me? Why, instead of fixing a terrible wrong, must so many feel they need to stand taller than me? Why, in this day and age, do I find myself, and trust me, it has happened many times, set aside, left out, not even acknowledged, because of my DNA?
 Racism will never end! Generations have come and gone, since Ms. Lee wrote her book. The battle between black, red, white and yellow has not really changed. Everyone still focuses on their DNA, still thinking because through a fluke of fate, their parents, grandparents, etc, mated, and produced offspring, they are somehow higher on the species ladder. I am only one ME. I was created by two people, and I certainly didn't have a choice who my biological  parents would be, no one does. Each and every one of us, become adults, through battles the rest of the world does not see. I admit, some battles are as a result of how one appears to the world, as someone who has always carried a little extra weight, that was one of my battles that everyone could see. I may not have had skin that tanned easily, or eyes that were exotically slanted, but I fought to become ME, and, sadly, when it comes to racism, I find myself still fighting, just because I was created.
  A world without racism is impossible.Maybe it is pride, maybe it is a sense of pay-back, no matter what, the Caucasians are not the only race that feels a sense of superiority, they are just the ones who have a history. 100 years from now, who will be written down in history as the "bad guys". It won't be the Caucasian DNA holders, we are now put in our place, silenced because of history..however..history repeats itself when lessons are not learned, and I am afraid there are more birds that will die for naught.

Friday, 28 August 2015

Said Hummmm...

O.K. my mind has been in a real turmoil for some time. Most moments are spent trying to figure sh*t out, or..wondering if the light really has gone out at the end of the tunnel, or it's just flickering, and I'm missing it. The mind is pretty damn amazing, mine is totally beyond my control..it just flips about whenever the urge hits it, and I just have to try and keep up. I am wondering, am I getting just a little too old, and maybe a tad too crippled up to keep up, and that is why we have so much turmoil? Thing just goes a mile a minute, and I am often left shaking my head, because I simply cannot comprehend what is going on.
  In what appears to be a moment of my mind and myself being on the same level, the thought pops up...yes scary, I know..but it scares me just as much..because I am never sure what is going on. In a moment of stasis, I wondered...why kids now a days do not work. True, at least in this part of the world. It is not like when I was young, and we went about, when we reached an age that we were deemed reasonably responsible and employable, grabbing a part-time job to supply us with pocket money. Nope...now kids just don't have the gumption to devote themselves to giving up weekends so they can buy their own stuff, with their own cash. WTF happened?
  Then I realized..kids now, are too busy. They are in ballet, they are in gymnastics, they play hockey, they play soccer, they go off to volleyball. Every single moment of their "spare" time is taken up by after school activities, bought and paid for by parents. They don't have the time to work, because they are too busy having "lives".
  See, the term "having a life", has become some what of a sore point with me. I hear it often, as a reason for not being able to do something. I could never figure out why those who make this statement feel that I, on the other hand, apparently do not have a life...Well, last time I checked, I do..and in fact it is a pretty hectic life, and one that is basically the main reason I work...I need to work, so I can afford to keep my life, somewhat in check.
 When I hit this little level between my mind and me...I sort of think I figured this "having a life" issue out. Why on earth would a child who spent their younger years enjoying after school activities, even consider giving fun up, to work? Monday to Friday they must deal with the drudge of school, and after that, let the fun begin. Costs are never an issue, because this is given freely by parents, who feel they are doing the right thing, and allowing their children to enjoy what they like.
  Well, that is all fine and dandy..for awhile, but...reality is, unless parents want to support these kids for the rest of their adult lives..they are going to have to teach them the sad facts. The fact that when you grow up, the drudge does not only happen from 9-3 Monday to Friday, (except holidays), it continues 7 days a week. 365 days that must be bought and paid for, somehow. Unless you luck out, "having a life" means working about 320 of those days..O.K. maybe a little less if you can enjoy the odd "holiday". Weekends are not a given, days are not 4-5 hours long, and then fun takes over.
  So....that is my take on why you don't see a whack of students working every weekend, why folks argue that they, unlike myself, "have a life". It is because someone thinks they are doing them a favour, and allowing them to have fun, with no expense, and no work. It is a sign of things that have changed from my generation..like students moving through grades without performing to a given standard, and Sport's days with participant ribbons instead of 1st, second and third, and losers without a prize.  It is pretending we are all equal, when we are not. It is cheating children, who grow up, without the ability to face the real world, with the knowledge that sometimes, life is not fun, and not everyone plays fair.

Monday, 24 August 2015

De=Friending 101

LMAO...Who knew after 40 years, I could suddenly become so mouthy, I would become offensive to folks who I presumed knew , or at least had some idea, of who I was. No..Haven't run into them, haven't chatted, haven't had anything, really to do with them, but...status updates, and comments on ..yes...the new community town hall..Facebook.
 Hey, I was stalking..well, not really stalking. You know when you remember someone from back in the day, maybe you know their first name, and..you say to yourself "self..why not check out Friend so and so, because if the unknown person is going to be alive and kicking, they will be on so and so's facebook friend list". So..in I clicked. This one particular friend has way more friends than I do, I scrolled on and on..they don't even appear in alphabetical order, and then..hummm..there was a name that I had once accepted as a friend on my page, and beside the name, it stated how many mutual friends we had, and...there was a little box asking if I wanted to send a friend request...Huh????So, in I click into my short list of friends, and....sure enough this person is no longer on my list!
  O.K. not the first person to de-friend me in the past 2 years, and...if I keep blogging and spewing out my personal opinions, probably not the last. But...for just a moment, and I mean just a moment, I was a wee bit stunned. What on earth could I have possibly written that would offend people who supposedly knew who I was? O.K. as I said, this was not the first, I know exactly what caused one to delete my amazing personality from their daily foray into social media. They had suddenly began rooting for a cause close to their heart, and...I may have made a comment that their cause should have supported other causes that were not right in their backyard, and being the snot bag I am..I basically said too bad, so sad. Perhaps that was the beginning of the exodus? Maybe I am missing a whole whack more "friends"?
  So, as I stated, before, there was a moment of surprise, and wonder, but..it disappeared quickly. I am who I am..I may not have been this vocal in my younger years, in fact there is no doubt I wasn't this vocal, I wasn't allowed to be!! Now I am all grown up. I have spent time in the military where my thoughts and opinions did not matter, I lived under the command of others. That was a personal choice, and even though I had to keep my mouth shut, it was one of the best times of my life. Now, everything I do and say, is mine to answer to. I do answer, and I will answer, always, because what I "say" is who I am!
  I like me! I have worked hard to be me, I had paid the costs all along, to enable me to open my mouth when the urge hits me, and speak my mind. Oh, I am sure my mouth was part of the cause of job issues for my honey, along the way, but...he let me speak, he knows to attempt to shut me up, is a losing battle. I do not believe speaking facts should be cause for another who does their job well, to be penalized, folks should look at the big picture, and realize he is NOT me, but..hey, live and learn, or live and sweep the clutter out the door, because it does not belong.
  So....I suppose the trick is, if you want to keep that great big long list of folks on your Facebook page, you can keep your personal opinions , and simply post some favourite recipes, or cute kitten pictures. Or, you can take the chance, let the world know what is on your mind, and...keep that list a little on the small side. I didn't realize I had lost a name on my list, as Facebook doesn't notify, lol..geez maybe there was a sh*t load, and I would have spent moments accepting the de-friends (yes moments, not too many to start with). I imagine this happened a very long time ago, because I don't think I have been overly offensive, lately..or have I???? So, the loss of this person has not affected my day to day life, and even though I did have a moment..that's all it took.
  Don't care, if they no longer like me...don't care if they think I have changed..don't care that they obviously never knew me in the first place.. I just don't care! I have no clue how many are on my list, and I am certainly not about to start checking daily to see if somehow I offended yet another, and like the stock market, my list is a continual declining line. To keep the numbers up, I would have to be someone I am not..so I am just going to suck this up, and continue offending...

Monday, 17 August 2015


 O.K. somehow I have reached what I perceive is adulthood. I have left my childhood far behind, yes, I have moments when I revert to it, and enjoy those moments, but...sad facts are, I am an adult.
  Now, I admit, during my childhood, I may not have been a simpering, tender heart. I more than likely had my nasty moments, and I am sure there are a couple of friends who may remember, an incident with a ladder, or a couple of whips with fireweed that might have been a tad too nasty, but, all in all, I had to try to be nice, because...my Mom made me!! Plus, friends were not in huge supply, so, we had to ensure we kept the ones we had, otherwise we would grow up all alone. I didn't!! I had friends, and...if I remember correctly the one who accused me of being mean the most, would have been my younger brother.
  Raising kids, well, I was apparently constantly mean, they claim that the word NO was used all the time, and I would get mad, and then...nasty mother that I was, I (according to them) would bake up a storm. Maybe I was so mean, because they were always trying to get me to bake?
  But, at the ripe old age of 59, mean is a word that I don't hear any longer, in regards to myself. Oh, I hate everyone, and I never have a good word to say about anyone, but....mean..nope, I thought I was past that stage.
  Silly me!! In the past two weeks, I have been called mean by two grown adults, basically the same age as I am, and...of course, not to my face. REALLY!! Now these folks were/are fellow employees, we all are suppose to clock in every morning, and do our jobs. I do!! My plan each day, is to drag my sorry ass into a difficult, labour intensive job, put my head down, and complete my duties.
  I go in many mornings, not feeling up to par, with the weight of personal issues hanging over my head, back aching, knees aching, tired to the bone, but...I expect my employer to pay me for work, and they expect to get work from me, and..that is what my plan is each and every day. I don't head in during the early morning hours gearing up to deal with a ton of drama. I don't give a rat's behind that Josie Jolly had her sewer blow up on her, or, sucked back a 24 pack, and is feeling rather shakey. I don't want to listen to Johnny Blowhard whining because he has been asked to do a job, and apparently to do so, he needs to clean up some freaking flour a guest spilled. I don't need to listen to how sore so and so is, how their knees can't take specific jobs that must be done, or that they (and apparently they alone) got sweaty. I don't need to see pictures of flour, and have the damn mealy mouth shove his phone in my face, even though I did what I always do, and walked away..I walk away because subtlety does not work with this particular individual.
  Josie Jolly has played games one to many times with me, and if she was given something she didn't like, she would simply wander off home, leaving her work undone, to surprise myself and others at the end of our work day. Josie Jolly, has left and returned crying "oh woe is me" countless times , and softer Hearts allow her to have another chance, and then...at the worst possible time, Josie is a no show, leaving a sh*tload of work for others to complete. Josie Jolly has had everyone walk on eggshells for her, and in return, she thinks nothing of placing an early morning call, to inform us, she forgot that she had plans, and won't be in. Josie Jolly does not understand she is anything but special, she must share, and she must follow the rules..so, when Josie Jolly was informed that she had to share, and she had to read the book the same as everyone else, Josie Jolly decided I, along with another employee, were being mean to her, and ran away crying!
  My job requires working as a group. It consists of many duties which will work up a sweat. I will never send another off to do a job I have not done myself. I know how long a job should take, if any effort is put into it, and I know that if a 59, or..a 65 yr old woman can do the job, so can anyone else employed in my workplace. Again, it is a sh*tty job, but it is the job that allows us all money on pay day. Josie Jolly doesn't seem to grasp the fact that folks have to work all the time for a steady income, they don't just show up when they are desperate. I no longer want to see Josie Jolly. I don't feel I am the mean one, Josie in fact is the meanie, she is the one who dumps work on top of an already heavy work load, and then sniffles away..Josie Jolly may not realize, but she has been the cause of me breaking down, on more than one occasion, because she left me holding the bag.
  Johnny Blowhard, well...that is another lost cause. To go to my employer and state I was mean to him, blows my mind. I did my very best not to deal with him. I asked him over and over to please speak to his employer, this was not my business, nor my problem. I walked away, and still he kept shoving his phone in my face, trying to tell me how much work he had..all along, I am well aware of how much work this useless tit does. I don't care if he has a shaky Heart, likely the organ became shaky because in the past someone with less control than myself, shook the living crap out of him, when he drove them batty.
  Because I work with so many folks with so many different issues, I wander in each day, and attempt to juggle so the right shapes go in the right containers. I do my best to stay away from Mr. Blowhard, giving both of us our space. I am often tired before even beginning my work, because of all the little things that must be dealt with.
   I am tired, I get fed up, I put my own worries on hold from the moment I clock in until the time I clock out. I do not have the time nor the patience to listen to whining from anyone else, who I know for a fact, does not do near as much as I do. I am NOT mean, but....trust me...if I hear one more time how I have been accused of being mean..I WILL show them what MEAN is all about..it's just around the corner,and I am more than ready!!!

Sunday, 16 August 2015


One word..5 letters that can turn a person's life upside down. What an important word..love is important, but, without trust, love is not worthwhile. Without trust, you have nothing but fear,and assumptions.Everything in life is controlled by this single word.
 I used to trust. I trusted my gut..my instinct. It did me proud for many years, but..one time, and one time only, it failed me. That one time, has changed my life completely. I do NOT trust more than a very few. Thank goodness I can trust those, and I do it without hesitation, I have a piece of my life that is lived without doubt, without fear, but it is a tiny piece.
  I question everything else, and everyone else. I question those involved in the day to day dealings with the few I trust. I cannot stop questioning. All it takes is a tiny little whiff of an off smell, and BAM..."oh, oh, watch out, this is not right"!
  Things in life are set to run a certain course. When you make a commitment to another, be it a job, be it a relationship, specific things are expected. Heck, it isn't a great long list, it is just just that, which forms a foundation of trust.
  As I mentioned, love, has to have a very strong foundation of trust. Oh, I used to always be asking my honey "Who is so and so?" "Why is she there?" "Why is she talking to you? Do you know her?" But, that is a game, if I truly worried, I would never have let him out of my sight. He has never given me reason not to trust him, and therefore, he has my complete trust.
  Friendship..whoa there is one thing that would never survive without trust. Friendship is a funny thing, because, seldom do friends live together, therefore there is a whole whack of time they do not know what one another are up to. Friends have social lives beyond each other, and with busy lives, that is understandable. They may have children, who oblige them to spend time with other families. They may have hobbies that are not shared with their friends, so they have many different circles, within their friendship. Hey, that is normal, that is natural, but, as the saying goes, friends have each others backs. A friend will listen to garbage, and...repeat the garbage to their friend. They will give their friend the ability to know what is happening behind their backs, and allow them to cover their backs. A friend will, in fact stand up and dispute the garbage. To be a friend is harder than to be a lover. When others know you are in a relationship, they are not prone to bad mouth your partner, but..friendship is less protected. It is difficult to be a friend, sometimes, but, all it takes, is to share total trust, and I know that is possible..I will protect those I hold dear, and I will try my very best to uphold the trust they put in me. I may at times question the few friends I have, but those times will pass by, and whatever caused the questions will either be forgotten, or...that friendship will be deemed unworthy.
  But, to have such a difficult time with trust, in day to day life, fills every moment with doubt. I am not sure if it is because I am always digging through and outside that damn box, but, if I cannot get the answers immediately to whatever question pops up...the possibility of trust flies right out the window.
 My take on things is, if I go into something, I need to know all the rules. I need things set in stone, if it is fish on Friday every week, then it better be fish 3 months from Friday. I don't want someone to decide instead of fish, this week it is going to be lobster, because it's close to fish, they both live in water. The day fish becomes lobster, then the rules crumble, and things continue to fall apart. I don't want to spend my time wondering what next Friday is going to bring...maybe caviar, maybe frog eggs, fish is fish!!So, the moment the fish is replaced, is the very moment trust disappears..that is the moment I realize things are not as they are suppose to be, and then I want to step away. I do not want to waste my time wondering, worrying, carrying the weight of doubt about on top of the extra poundage I already have.
  I am far too old to waste my time trying to figure sh*t out, my qualifications for trust are pretty damn high, but...I refuse to change them. I have finally managed to have some of my standards rub off on others within my trust group, and I am grateful, because, now they have started to sniff the air checking for the whiffs of stink, and I am no longer feeling totally alone.
  Trust, without this little word, there is nothing!

Monday, 3 August 2015

Sightless See

  I have been pretty quiet, for awhile , in regards to the damn Dam. But, as time marches along, I can see things I prophesied, peeking up out of the garbage pile. The main stay of all Crusty's promises to the Peace Region to get folks on board was.....Jobs, and ...community profit. I read comment after comment from young people in the area.."get this thing on the go..need work"..." shut up your idiots about garden's and farm land...the future needs energy and money". There are two sides, as usual on the matter of Site C..those who believe it is a disaster in the making, and those who believe the energy is needed, and along with the massive 8-9 Billion dollar construction price tag..a whole bunch of those who reside in the Peace region will be hired on to lucrative paying jobs, and they will make their fortunes. What's the loss of a whack of land they don't even care about mean , if they are suddenly going to be wealthy, and working near home?
  Hellooooo....look carefully. Yep, there was indeed one contract handed out to "locals", a group of contractors banded together, with (smart on their part) an aboriginal  owned company, and got a tiny contract, (in comparison) on the south side. Good for them!! They decided they were going to benefit, and not worry about the backlash from Treaty 8, and likely realized, no matter what happens, no matter what reasons are placed NOT to build it..it will be built, and they will benefit financially. I, personally, am on the sidelines, when it comes to these facts. As far as I am against the building of this, I personally feel, if anyone is going to make a dime, better it be someone who actually lives here, and will have to live with the end results.
  However, surprise, the plans have a massive camp set up...of course the camp, and the camp site preparation contract was given to companies outside of this area, in fact, some of which is even outside of the province. This camp will be a city within itself, offering services the communities do not even have, like a fully functioning hospital with ...wait for it...DOCTORS!!!! Not one, not first aid attendants..nope...Doctors..while, at this very moment, two communities have been advised throughout the month of August, they will be either without a Doctor, or..with very limited Doctor services. The camp, well..we can only imagine will offer Doctors some pretty awesome wages, well beyond what our government pays, because..that would be the only reason a Doctor would even consider working in a camp. They will have massage therapists, a bar, a library, a theater! Is there really anyone who even remotely imagines that a single penny of profit will seep into the communities from those in camp? If you do..you are an idiot..this camp is designed to KEEP people in. So..do you think the food will be purchased from the surrounding communities to feed the camp? Hah! Nope this will likely be trucked in from Alberta..so...they won't be shopping at the local Price Smart!
 Why did people think this project would be any different from any other Hydro project? Was it the amount of workers needed? We have already seen Hydro sway from the norm, and open the doors to non-union..are we stupid enough to think they don't have a plan in order?
  Now I see folks actually questioning what is happening. They are upset, because local companies are NOT in the running, they don't have the ability to bond for these enormous bids...again, Hellooo..do folks not know how government bids work? Nope..this work will go elsewhere, it will go to the giants, international companies, who get every single project Hydro puts out. Just look..who is building the sub-station and towers between Chetwynd and Dawson...It is Valard, the same company that erected towers along the North West line, that have been falling down, because of sub-standard steel. I wonder, how many tradesmen from these parts were hired by Valard ? It would be interesting to get some numbers, perhaps I am wrong?
  Yep, there will be some jobs. I went to the Open house here, I saw the lovely placard with the listings of jobs that will be available, and right on the same placard..to get one of these jobs, a person must contact the company that wins the bid. Hydro is NOT hiring. You will apply with a company that already has an employee base, those employees will be working, and..if/when, they realize they don't have enough, and likely search their home base for additional employees, they will open the doors to locals. Most likely labourers, as...when they bid on contracts they are already ensuring they have a ready supply of their own tradesmen.
   I understand the desperation of young people around these parts. The world believes oil and gas employs everyone who needs a job in the Peace Region. They don't understand that this industry is NOT unlike Hydro. They are not based in this province, they come from Alberta and if one went to a camp, they would find the majority of employees reside in the Atlantic provinces or the Prairies. They generally hire a percentage of locals, but those often are at the bottom of the list when it comes to jobs, and often they sit for weeks at a time without work (that means without money). The reality here is, you can work full-time at Timmy's or Wal-Mart, or, you can ride the roller coaster of oil and gas. So...the dream of jobs that last years, with the construction of Site C would certainly light up the eyes of folks struggling month to month in an area with rents costing as much as Vancouver, and groceries and utilities beyond the imagination of those in the lower mainland.
  Sadly, it will be those who do not pay the price of living in the Peace, who reap the benefits of this massive project. As time passes, I believe the truth will become clearer, and what appeared to be the promise of jobs, will prove to be the opposite. Guess we will just have to wait and see..but that is my prediction..Hope I am wrong!

Friday, 31 July 2015

Job Posting

O.K. going to give this a go...desperation leads to desperate measures....
  Ladies (or Gentlemen) sick and tired of cleaning up after your family? Fed up with wiping piddle marks off the toilet? How about all that time spent doing laundry? Kid's or spouse leave the bed-making to you? How about those fingerprint marks all over the windows..bet you wish you had a dime for everyone you have windexed...Feel like you should be getting paid for all that housework? Hummm...do I have a deal for you!!
  Hey, I know, the piddle marks are mixed with your beloved's DNA, or perhaps your children's, those chip bits in the sheets, you know who chewed them...The muddy footprints across your carpet, well, you can size those and identify, but..not going to get a penny for your sweat and tears.
  Why not wander on down to the hotel and sign up for a few days cleaning unknown piddle marks? A turd left floating in the toilet, is just a turd..everyone's flushes down the drain the same way. O.K. the crunchy face cloths, well, although they are a mystery, you probably don't want to solve...we supply latex gloves.
  Dirty linen is not much different when the dirt comes from someone you will likely never meet, and all the muttering in the world is totally acceptable. The one pleasure, you will be able to share that muttering with others, complaining about many of the same issues. You will be surrounded by folks who will joyfully share horror stories, that may shock, but quite likely amuse at the same time. You can gripe about all the things you do at home, picking up around the house, and....here is the big kicker..you will get paid to do it!!!
  Be honest...how often have you told yourself, you deserve a pay cheque for all the housekeeping you do? Do you really think you will get anything out of all that work, besides the satisfaction of glancing at a clean house, only to watch it disappear before your very eyes?
  Come on..walk out that door..leave your place a nasty old mess..never going to finish cleaning there..it is like that never ending song..it goes on and on my friend. Head on over to my place of employment, and fill your pockets with shiny money...It is not hard to let that unpaid housework suffer. You may find yourself wallowing in a cloud of guilt once in awhile, and you certainly will stop answering a knock at the door with "come on in",instead you will rush to the door, open it a tiny crack and hope whoever is outside can't see past you..lol..but that is..unpaid cleaning behind your back..you no longer do that kind of work for free...Twice a month, that quiver of pain you feel when you see your kitchen sink overflowing, or someone complains that they don't have a single clean pair of underwear, you will snatch your pay cheque into your grubby little paws (well they will be pretty clean, because you have scrubbed a fair amount of bathtubs), and dance over to reap the bounty of your hard work.
  Give it some thought...free or....paid...what's it going to be?

Thursday, 30 July 2015

Going On A Lion Hunt

Wow...I had no intentions on jumping into this fiasco...Dead tired from work, and just not ready to offend some of the best friends I have, with my piddly a$$ed opinion..but....guess I must have slipped, because here I am.
  First off, let me state, I am NOT against hunting. It is an age old human quest to hunt and kill for sustenance. I have friends who do indeed put trophy heads on their walls. Hey, that's their thing, certainly not mine, but, some folks like Golden showers, and swallowing maggots, so..each to their own.
  Yes, there is a whole whack of bad sh*t happening all over the world, but, again...what one considers bad, others seem to think is fine and dandy. Silly people getting offended over the killing of a lion. WELL!!! Maybe folks should simply shut up about everything that rubs them the wrong way? Maybe the whole world should accept things that happen, and go with the flow, even if it means floating down Sh*t river on a fart bubble? They can hold their noses, right?  Bear with the references to crap, because I am in a pretty crappy mood, and it kind of rubs off on my writing.
  Folks have opinions, and..they have the right to them, and..eventually those who find these opinions offensive, will be very happy, because..if things continue there will be laws to stop us from voicing our feelings, those laws are multiplying as I write, and, pretty soon, all opinions will be placed under government control, so...let the people have their say, while they can. If we were all the same, life would be pretty freaking boring. And..to speak as if the opinion that is not the same as yours , is wrong, you have a far higher opinion of yourself, than I do. My opinions are just that, mine, and I enjoy a good debate when I feel strongly on matters, I am more than happy to argue to attempt to prove my point. If someone disagrees I am open to listen to their reasons, and I will attempt to counter with my facts. That is why we don't live in a dictatorship (well not on paper, anyway), and majority still rules.
  So, first off, let me state, I am totally with those folks who are pi$$ed off at Walter Palmer. Hey, he made his choices, and if he loses his dental clinic, and very soon wishes he had not spent the 50,000. to have the ability to mount the head of a lion on his wall..lesson learned, the hard way. Happens to all of us at some point.
  He chose to travel to a completely different country with a far difference government than that of the U.S.A. He not only chose to travel, he went to hunt. He claims he was not aware this lion was a park favourite. Hellooooooo..was he not there when the baiting was done, was he not aware the park was right there? Come on...He wanted a lion, and he paid 50,000. He wasn't going home without this head, and he was more than likely fine with whatever it took to get it. To bait an animal, and then..for crying out loud to blind it with lights..that is NOT hunting!!! So, for those who feel strongly about the hunt, if you truly are hunters, trophy or not, to "pitlamp" an animal is disgraceful.
  Here is my feeling on things. Let's just say, Farmer John has 200 head of cattle behind his fence. His pasture is in the middle of no where, and...he has missed a great big hole in his fence. Hey the cows are munching away behind the fence, but..Starvin Marvin has a hankering for a juicy beef steak, so..he lures one of the cows out of that hole in the fence, shoots it, slices the hindquarter off, throws it in his pickup, and drives away. Is that right? Should Farmer John keep quiet, he had a hole in his fence, that's his fault, right?
  The lion belonged in the park, he was in the park, until Mr. Palmer and his guides baited him off. Whether the lion was 13 year old Cecil, or just 2 year old Chuck..doesn't matter. What they did was wrong, to lure an animal, no matter what it is, away from it's home (hey..how about your pet dogs..some folks enjoy a nice chunk of puppy) blind it, and then act like you are in the Hunger Games, is just pathetic.
  Hunting should always be a fair game, it takes wits and skill, survival of the fittest, not bait and blind. He wasn't starving, although perhaps with the down turn in his business, he might just be opening a tin of tender vittles at some point.
  I have friends who have been involved in trophy hunting, guiding, etc. now, I will never make a call to book a hunt with them, I don't want Yogi's head hanging over my couch, but...I certainly hope that they don't go about trolling out of the local wildlife reserve to provide their clients with their prizes (pretty risky in Canada). I don't understand the pleasure to kill, simply for the thrill, but..as I said before, there are quite a few things that are not listed on my bucket list.
  Yep, the world has a ton of nasty floating about in it, and folks do voice their opinions on a fair bit of the garbage. Cecil, he simply made an impact on some folks who were able to publicize his killing, and therefore it has popped up onto a whack of facebook pages. It has evoked various opinions, and...I for one, am glad that we can read them, and debate them, because...the time that those who feel opinions in matters like these are silly, is disappearing, and pretty soon, they won't have to read opinions, because they will not be allowed. If it is silly to make a great deal out of "just a 13 yr. old Lion", don't worry, when someone removes something that belongs to you, and disposes of it, likely most of the world won't give a damn, and....perhaps you might find that upsets you?
  It is clear, some people have never had to fight for something they believed in. This week, it is Cecil... myself, well, everyone knows what I have been fighting for. There are plenty out there that feel I am stupid, I am selfish, I am not looking out for the greater good of the future. Hey, I believe in what I put out to the world, it is my opinion and....I think when we ignore issues, such as poor Cecil, we become complacent, and then we ignore some more, until nothing matters anymore, and then we will all worry about being baited and blinded..but it will be too late..no one is listening anymore!

Monday, 27 July 2015


Yep, just a single word title. I have decided it is time to write about words that have disappeared from the everyday use, in my lifetime. Here is a small list, of course the title word, etiquette, then there is cordial, followed by 2 words, common decency, then we have courtesy, respect, oops, another 2 words, common sense..hummm. guess that will do for a start. I will just delve into them one at a time, because, before they disappear completely, perhaps I can remind a few folks what they mean.
 Etiquette1740-50; < French étiquette, Middle French estiquette ticket, memorandum, derivative of estiqu (i) er to attach, stick < Germanic. See stick2, -ette. Synonyms Expand. 1. Etiquette, decorum, propriety imply observance of the formal requirements governing behavior in polite society.]  I decided to post the french meaning, as...we all know it is a french word.  Back in my day, we were actually taught etiquette in school. Oh, we didn't have hour long lessons, we were expected to pick up bits and pieces of proper etiquette thrown into the regular classroom work. We certainly were taught etiquette at home, the top of the list..respect your elders. That basically pertained to any one 2 or more years my senior. We were taught by observing, we were shown the proper way, manners were required at all times, even, believe it or not, when playing with a group of friends. Etiquette is not just knowing which fork to use, when seated at a table with more than one placed beside a plate. It is more than not placing your elbows on the table when eating (cause back in my day, for said elbow to be rudely knocked off the table). It was basically proper manners when dealing with the rest of the world.It was the unspoken rule to let elders have the seats, apologizing for bumping into someone, sharing, thinking about how an action you make, will impact another.
  See, etiquette, in my mind, covers all the rules for being a decent human being. The one word in the title, contains each and every other word I listed. So, there, you have the basic understanding of the now defunct word, etiquette.
  Cordial...yikes, this is , I must say, not something I am always capable of. Mostly..because someone else has never been taught etiquette. I was taught to be cordial, even if I dislike someone. I can honestly say, as a young person, I did a damn fine job of being cordial, because, if I didn't , I was in deep doodoo. It was far easier back then, because......almost everyone followed the same darn etiquette rules!! Now a days, I know when I am not following the cordial rule. Deep down inside, it bothers me. I want to follow it, but..hey, fair is fair, not going to be on my best behaviour when no one else is playing the etiquette game. 
  Common decency. Oh my goodness, this is a sad one! This is the rule that was used out on the play ground, and within a group of friends. This is the rule than is listed as golden. These two words can fix the world. If you dig about these two words, you will find the others listed, courtesy and respect. Common decency is when you actually think about what you are doing, or saying, and how it is going to affect others. Hey...there is another quickly disappearing word...consideration, that's all wrapped up in decency. When you decide you are not going to do what you promised, or, you just go into something and do just enough to satisfy yourself, and walk away leaving someone else to pick up the pieces, you lack common decency, because...you are not even thinking of the rest of the world. If every single person showed just a tiny bit of common decency, this world would be a better place..for you and me..but that is NOT going to happen.
  We have entered into the ME world. A world where no one thinks of anyone but themselves. A world where all the aforementioned words do not exist. A world where no one even feels the need to acknowledge what another has done for them. A world of inconsideration, disrespect, indecency,a total lack of common sense, and an absolute disregard for etiquette. 
  It is time for someone to come along, smash each and every elbow off the table, and knock some sense in a senseless world. Get a grip, learn some manners folks, because it is clear, those words have been in the dictionary much longer than most folks have been sitting on this rock, and those words enabled a very large percentage to learn to live in peace and harmony. Thinking only of oneself, is not going to make this world a nice place to spend a lifetime.
  Now..I am going to sit down with a nice cup of tea, and I will lift my pinky finger as I bring the cup to my mouth....Etiquette..one word, with a whole whack of meaning!!!!

Thursday, 23 July 2015

Something Is Wrong!!

I've sat down, more than once to attempt to write this blog. The only reason I keep trying, is...it bothers me a great deal. I want to make sure I get my personal opinion down, in the way I want to. A way that makes things clear. I don't want this to hurt those who I hold in very high esteem, and I want to ensure they understand, this is NOT about them, I would still wish to call on these people, and have them arrive to keep me safe. One name in particular, in case they do read my drivel, is Dave, because, you ARE one of the good guys, and you wear your uniform with pride, and with the knowledge of all that you must do, in the line of your profession. That said...I will continue on, because, I have to.
  I read comments, our police officers have a heavy burden, they are under pressure, their lives are on the line, all comments in regards to the many shootings lately by the RCMP, shootings that have resulted in deaths. I am not a bleeding heart...you do the crime..you pay the time...However, I do not condone, you create a disturbance, you act suicidal, you wear a mask, you carry a knife..you die!!! The events which seem to now occur on a steady basis, police killing suspects, is something new, and something that just should NOT be happening. I do not care for those folks who say "he had a knife, he wouldn't put it down, he was wearing a mask, he deserved everything he got". WTF???? No, he did not deserve to die!!! People murder other people, do they die? Are prisons empty, because, since only criminals are placed there, and since they do things that require police to enforce the law..have they all been shot?
  I grew up with a massive amount of respect for our Mounties. I watched the single RCMP members in my tiny community provide us with security, law enforcement, and.on top of all of that, behind the scene care for some of the regular heavy drinkers, and..families that needed assistance, well beyond their job description . I met some pretty amazing folks who wore the uniform, and never once did I ever see them with their weapons out of the holster. They kept the peace. I knew, if I ever needed help, I could call them, and they would do what was right.Hey, maybe back in those days, somewhere, there might have been a few that did not hold such high standards, but, they were out numbered, by the good guys.
 I'm sorry. Something has gone very wrong with the system. Somewhere along the line, standards were dropped. Those folks back in the day, well, their lives were on the line too, they were targets for the "bad" people. They put themselves in positions of danger, to keep us safe. Back in the day, Officers were killed in the line of duty, not often, but sadly, it did happen. Once in awhile, they did have to draw their weapons and fire, and sometimes the very bad guys were killed, because the safety of the public was at risk, and there was no other recourse.However, I bet, if I was to go back and look at these occasions, each and every time, the criminal had a gun. Now folks are being killed because they are screaming and acting violent, and holding a knife in their hands. What happened to the intense hand to hand combat training officers received during basic training? I am sure they must have been taught how to take down a suspect with a pocket knife. I am sure they were not taught to draw their weapons and fire. Again, I have to ask..what has gone wrong?
  To watch a video, and, I admit, it was only part of the incident, but, clearly there was more than one officer involved. The two men trained to protect, were incapable of controlling a single masked man, with a small knife, and I say small, because the blade is not visible, so one decided the only thing he could do, was shoot! Oh, and still in fear for his life, he then quickly kicks the knife out of the suspects hand, while the suspect is obviously laying in a huge pool of his own blood, and then his partner whips in to handcuff the slumped, dying man. These men are the ones protecting us? They are not cut from the same cloth as their predecessors. Something is lacking in the selection of those placed to serve and protect. They are no longer brave men and women, they are ordinary people, scared sh*tless! They are no different than you and me, and I know damn well, I am NOT brave, strong, and mild tempered, I would be totally useless in the position of protecting the public. So are those people who put the uniform on, and made a terrible mess of things.
 We do NOT need to allow the average citizen to be placed in the position of the RCMP. We need the cream of the crop, we need those who are capable of facing danger, and able to manage restraint, beyond that which you and I can. We need to be able to look at those wearing the serge, and know, we are safe, and if someone makes a mistake, they will go to court, and then, if they are found guilty, they will go to jail. We do NOT need to skip a whole bunch of steps in the system, and simply put them down, because someone was not capable of doing their job properly.
  As a Canadian, I have always been proud of our very own RCMP, now....I am not so proud. I wonder, if those who joined back in the day when only the very best made the grade, feel the same way? I wonder, do those who have retired, now sit at home and watch the news, and shake their heads? We know what it used to take to ensure we had the best, now we just have to find out how to get it back.
  Just my personal opinion. I know there are still some Bill Raysons, and Hank Garrets out there, I know this, because I have met them!(these two men, were 2 of our local RCMP, and two of the best men that wore the uniform).

Sunday, 19 July 2015

Is Somebody Watching Me?


   Do you ever feel like someone is watching you? Oh, I don't mean, while you are wandering about, swiffering, or deciding exactly what brand of coffee you are going to throw into your grocery basket. Nope..I mean on-line....I know, I am truly beginning to think I am phobic! What on earth in my tiny little world would be of interest to anyone else?
  Well....see you all know I rant. I have also been known to comment out into the wide world of websters, on some pretty intense matters. I have always admitted, I do not have any sort of baffle on what I spew, I basically say what I think, and there it is..no different than on my little ol' blog.
  I'm just a pretty typical person. I am not wealthy, brilliant, famous, or "special". I am pretty darn law abiding..in fact, I'm a chicken about most things, no risk taking beyond spilling my guts out to the world. I am not violent, nor do I have the urge to be violent..O.K. besides muttering under my breath, like most of the rest of the world, that I wish I could kill various folks, when provoked, but...in truth, the only thing I don't feel any remorse after snuffing out their lives, is those of spiders. I feel a tad sad when I destroy an ant pile, because, those ants are pretty damn amazing, and have worked pretty hard to build their hill. I almost identify with ants..yep..almost...Of course it is the worker ants I identify with, the poor buggers who live only to work, hiking about day after day, carry loads, making sure the rest of the hill members get all they need to survive. So...when I mutter "I could Kill" regarding no specific person..it is just words...
  Up until recently, stating that, was no cause for concern..I suppose unless I was some sort of borderline lunatic, but...now..things in the world I live in have gone off the deep end. Paddle for the Peace, a down to earth group of folks who jump in canoes, boats and Kayaks to travel along the Peace River to bring notice to the looming possibility of yet another Dam, taking this morsel of beauty away, have found themselves on the watch list of our Countries Security folks! WTF??? That information scared the crap out of me..and, if you had a smidgeon of grey matter, it would be cause for concern to you. Something so peaceful, so flower power, love your neighbour, as a group paddling down a river, with nothing resembling a weapon (oops, maybe paddles) beyond cameras, is targeted as a group to be watched. Who else are they watching? Did you make a risky comment on Face book? Perhaps you "bombed" an exam...yikes..you might just be on the list too!! We have become the Stepford People. We are all to conform to an accepted "norm". We are all to keep our opinions to ourselves, unless, of course, they are the accepted ones. We are never to question, never to disagree, never to have a mind of our own. Our government, our law enforcement, our media, everyone has somehow come to some sort of agreement, the citizens of this country have no rights, beyond that which they wish to bestow , when they feel the need, however, they will take them away when they feel they are not needed. You live day to day, wondering if you are committing a crime, that you don't know has become criminal. If you are like me, and you read all the little tidbits floating about, you can't keep up with what is politically correct, you can't follow what was acceptable last month, is now forbidden, and comes with a possible fine.
  If you are like me, you have reached a point where right doesn't matter. You know something is right, but...surprise...not allowed!! You watch those in government doing all sorts of stuff that used to be ground for dismissal, now..they are grounds for huge court cases, that we pay for, that always end with "fade to black" no big jail terms, no big fines, just a tiny blurb and away they go...But, if it is your average working Joe, hummm...a whole different ball of wax. I'm your average Joe, I try very hard to follow the rules, well legally, the worst I do is voice my opinion on things, and facts are, my opinions mean very little to the rest of the world. It's just, now, with the crazy sh*t happening all around me, I wonder.....Am I on a list? Is somebody watching me?
  BTW..not sure if this was posted G+ so trying again

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Mandarin Oranges

I know...alway's b*tching.... But that is who I am, and it is never going to change, so...deal with it! I have to deal with all the crapola that is driving me absolutely insane, along with scaring the sh*t out of me.
  I don't know when I suddenly became a second class citizen, along with the majority of other Canadians. I don't know when my government suddenly changed from "Conservative" to Lunatics, and Liberals to A$$Holes, but it happened somewhere along the line. I am frightened to death by those folks sitting up at the top of the Tower of Power, the air has got to be too thin up there, they have gone insane.
 One thing, perhaps Mr. Harper has spent far too much time with the Chinese. Don't get me wrong, again, I have nothing against the population of the country of China, I just don't want to become an offshoot of them. I don't want those who enjoy the extreme (and I do mean extreme) good life running the animal farm of communism in the far reaches of Asia, to be given the key to our kingdom, by King Stevio, and prance willy nilly about, taking what they want, when they want it, and having tantrums, which apparently now Canadians must pony up for. I wonder if others who call this country home realize exactly what is happening in Parliament..or, now it appears, in sundry locations which have been allocated as free trade zones, scattered about our homeland.
 Because I am always looking way outside the box, I see a little blurb which tweaks my grey matter, and off I go in search of answers. This stuff is not blasted out on the evening news, it doesn't headline in the newspapers, it is hidden away, just a few lines here or there, and no one follows through, digging all the dirt up, and letting us know whats up. News stories of pus in the government, used to go on and on, journalists sunk their teeth into a tidbit, and then chewed the whole thing up, spitting it out for the citizens, so we all knew the whole damn thing. Now, well, there is a little turd of a stinky story on the news Monday night, and by Tuesday afternoon, not a single word further. The stories just disappear, replaced by 15 minutes of celebrity gossip.  No one follows through, and whatever smelled up your living room the evening before, evaporates.
  Those sitting up in the tower love this. They don't have to answer to anything, the rug under their feet is piled so high with everything that they have swept under it, all that happens, is they simply move another floor higher..
  We are slowly losing our status as Canadians. What do we have? We own nothing!! Every piece of our natural resource has been handed over to China..O.K. maybe it's Malaysia, but..it's still China. We see the result of this, markets rise and fall at the whim of a country that was almost unheard of when I was young. Crap, stuff wasn't made in China, it came from Japan, now..even our bloody food comes from China!! I loved Social's class, in school..Back then, China was a country I felt sorry for. They were ruled by a cheap miserable prick, people had to kill babies if they had too many, folks were dirt poor, working like cattle, living with just the basic necessities, and not allowed an inch of freedom. I used to think I was ever so lucky to have been born in a country that was so far from Communism, it was heavenly.
  Well..I remember about 28 years ago, spending time with a guy who worked for the B.C. Forest Service. He was a little odd, but, extremely intelligent. His whole focus was China. He would tell my honey and I, that we should do our best to learn Mandarin Chinese. He warned us, one day, in our lifetime, China would rule the world, and the least thing we could do to equip ourselves, was to learn the language that might allow us to fit in. That man is long passed, he blew his brains out not long after one of his conversations..Now I wonder, was he even smarter than I imagined? I certainly didn't think China would become so powerful that they could pressure my country to sign away almost every right to them. I never for a moment believed they would begin to lay down the rules to my government. I did not dream that my Prime Minister and my Provincial Premier would one day,have their noses so far up the Asian Ass, they ate nothing but Christmas oranges.
 Really folks...we have been sold down the Yangtze River. We did not fight a war, and lose our country.We elected folks into government, who forgot they were Canadian, and forgot that this country does not end when they kick the bucket. They forgot about the generations of the future, who will look around and wonder what belongs to them, because every single speck of land has been signed ,sealed and delivered at the cheapest price possible...to a far off country that didn't have to fight, didn't have to pay, just smiled and filled a few pockets .
  It is time for our media to do their jobs. It is time for the Newspapers and Television stations to allow reporters to report. We need to learn what is happening in our country..we need people to bite into the corruption and chew it up, spitting it out for all to see. We need to save our country!! Or is it already too late?

Monday, 29 June 2015

Dusty Books and Ripe Cheese

Thought twice about the title, but, apparently some things improve with age, wine and cheese being at the top of the list, and....surprisingly there is something else I never imagined.
  This past week has seen a huge rush in my life. Besides the sheer pleasure of spending time back in an area that feels like a warm embrace to my soul, I was shocked and amazed at something new I learned about ME.
  I have admitted more than once, I have reached a point in my life where I don't really give a damn about things that others worry endlessly over. I am a book judge, if I meet someone and I get a read on them that rubs me wrong, I don't want to deal with them any further. I either like, or intensely dislike. I don't have the patience or energy to pretend any longer, plus, I really don't see why toleration is required. Why is it not acceptable, beyond my world, to simply wash my hands of those who irritate? Why should I have to play a game that, in the end, does not do anything besides pi$$ me off? I have not benefited from pretense, it has, in fact, pecked away pieces of my world and my sanity, so...because time and energy are both limited, I made a conscious decision to erase pretense from my way of life, and, I am quite comfortable with most thinking I am a *itch, because, what they think does not matter in the least.
  So, I figured I was pretty hardened. My family often states I am mean, I assume, I am quick to judge, and...I don't like anyone! This is not true! I do like some, and...those I love, well, I love them with all the energy I save, not dealing with the rest of the crap. That is a whole lot of love! I knew I loved the special folks in my life, but until this past week, I didn't realize how much. I wonder if distance does indeed make the heart grow fonder, and returning to the place I feel at "home" the signal suddenly gets stronger?
  See, I cry..but usually it is because something hard has occurred, something that causes me grief or worry. Oh, I cry at the sound of bag pipes, I cry when I hear songs that take me back to places I remember, but this recent piece of my life has shown that in time, under my varathaned exterior, my tiny little pebble of a heart has turned into soft ripe cheese.
  My children are MINE, I raised them, they were my responsibility, and how they became grown adults, has most of the bearing on my honey and myself. How they appear to the rest of the world, can be attributed , in most part, on the job we did as parents. They, are those I brought into this world. But, there are others, who are right next in cue, in the lineup. There are those who are not connected by blood, but somehow tied with a pretty tight cord to me, and that connection, although has been long distance for many years, has become stronger. Again, I have to think it is because I gave up on trying to pretend about others who will never mean diddly to me, besides annoyance. I forgot how much those books I love, mean to me, and how much I miss having them close enough to spend time with.
  Those of you who witnessed the unexpected water works, may have smiled in surprise, but, it was only because I have spent far too much time away from my tiny collection of books that are worth my time and energy. I am torn, there are my children in one place, and the rest of my family in another. It didn't cause as much issue when I was busy ensuring my chapters in the books of three, were written carefully, and all my time and effort was directed there. I have Grandchildren who are close enough to watch each page as they are turned, but, somehow I missed so many pages from the other books I love. To be a part of a graduation and a wedding, and to now have yet another wedding around the corner, it is clear so many chapters have gone unread, and I want..no, I truly think, I need, to collect all my books in a place where I can pick them up, and just glance at them, to enjoy, because life moves at a fast pace. In a matter of one week, all of this, and amongst the happy times, the ending of the book of life for another.
  For a book lover like myself, I want to read them all! I realize it is not possible. I missed a couple of good books on this trip, and...that was not the plan. My daughter managed to read more than I did, and, I am jealous. I have come to realize it is time to collect my library, and sit down to open up the covers of those books collecting dust, because under the dust, are the finest reads of my lifetime, and it is long past time for me to begin my own new chapter. Just looking for the pen and paper to begin writing.

Thursday, 18 June 2015

Keeper of the Past

 Funny, you read how life is a cycle, but often you are too wrapped up in your own little world, you don't really notice how obvious that cycle is.
  This year, I have one niece graduating High School, one nephew graduating Culinary College, 2 nephews getting married, and one niece having a baby. Each and every one of these "children" I can remember as brand new babies. Oh, for sure, they will always be grouped in the kid section in my world, because...I am now old. I am so old I have a 15 year old Grand daughter!! Geez, next year that girl will be sitting behind the wheel of a car, and..it seems like only yesterday she was sitting in a baby seat.
  The cycle of my life has changed. I have graduated (believe it or not, 41 years ago, or is it 42!) I have married, I have had children, my children have graduated, one has married and had children, so I am whipping around that circle pretty darn fast.
  Wow! Just think about it....I somehow managed to do all of that, I stressed out more than once, for each and every moment these children still have to face. Hah! All those years of worry, and yelling, and crying, and struggling..and, I survived. What the heck did I worry so much about? All of that was not so bad.
  Now I have come to a place in life where I can sit and think about each and every one of the "children" in my life, family and "adopted family" (because I have been lucky enough to have some extra's added to my life). I can now look back and remember all the good stuff, all the things these children did that made me laugh. I remember a ton of stuff, they don't..because they were too young, and it passed them by, it wasn't a moment for them, it was simply gone. They all had moments that stay with me..I suppose that is part of what my place in the cycle is all about now. I hold the memories that they don't remember.
  Oh, it is a bit of a power trip, being in this place. I can take each and every one of them back to when they wore diapers, and I can embarrass all of them. In truth, I remember folks telling stories of what I was like when I was young..certainly wasn't the classiest kid on the block..perhaps I felt a smidgen of embarrassment, but in truth, I was a little thrilled. I don't remember who I was when I was little. I was too busy growing up. Oh, I remember things that seemed important to me, but, I didn't know me, as others saw me. I didn't remember the neighbourhood calling me "Lady Godiva", because those moments passed me by.
  My job, is to be the keeper of the past. I have memories of projectile vomiting into jackets, "maybe pee..Aunty Debbie", Bunny toes, children shoved out of the way in hallways because of Lizards, that is my place in the circle.
  I have the power to make those who feel they are all grown up, become a child in a moment. I have this power with my own children, but, I have the same with each and every one who has passed through my life. I have been blessed with a pretty decent memory, one that allows me to see pieces of the past vividly, to remember those who I have met along the way that found a place in my heart.
  I have worries and hurt, that sometimes fill my world, but...if I take the time, and remember where I have been, and how much living I have done, I can understand, I have come to a wonderful place in the cycle of life, I am the keeper of the past!