Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Open the Bloody Book!!

So, last night, in a moment of boredom, I popped into a page to see what Political news was happening back in the old home town. Hey, it's a free world, it's an open group, so...in I go. Welllll..instantly I was caught off guard. It seems one of the local voices, was up in my area. Imagine my shock to read his opinion on the events occurring in my backyard. Good to know he feels he has the expertise, and right to his opinion on happenings that don't freaking impact him...oh, my mistake, they will impact him, but, of course, he doesn't see that.
  He goes on about how the neighbouring town to me is such a forward looking community. How their Mayor has managed to ensure that town will get a legacy in regards to Site C. Geez, this is wonderful! Well, Mr. know it all from reading a single newspaper article..that town will not have to deal with any fall-out once the dam is built. Oh, they will certainly be getting a nice handfull of cash for 70 years afterwards, but,lets give you a nice little analogy, here, and maybe, just maybe, you will see beyond the book's cover.
  Your town needs a septic pond. Those in power, decide your backyard is the perfect area for this septic pond. Your neighbours are going to be bothered by the dust and traffic during the construction, and perhaps the smell might drift their way. Ahhh. those in power decide to mitigate this annoyance, and tell all those around your home they will get a nice little pile of money every year while that pond is doing it's job in your backyard. There are quite a few neighbours, and that is quite a bit of money to appease them. Now you, well, it's too bad your property is the perfect spot, but, you only have one house, and your neighbours are O.K. with the payment plan, so..suck it up buttercup!! The pond is for the good of many, and you will just have to learn to live with the loss of your backyard, and the stink that will surround you every day. There isn't much money left, after paying your neighbours, so we'll throw you a couple of bucks, and shut up!! So, now you are stuck, any complaints you have, are smothered, because your neighbours are happy with the money they will get, once the pond is in, the dust and traffic will end, but the money will continue. They don't give a crap about your whining.
  So, lets see, one community forward looking to a project that will only affect them for the short term, surrounding communities, which have a larger population, get more of the Legacy pie, their housing markets will rise, money will flow into them, and someone writes how happy they are, so the project becomes acceptable in your eyes. You feel the urge to let others hear your side of the story, even though you have simply read the cover. You have not taken the time to check out the backyard that has been chosen. You simply see the shiny parts, and, apparently feel you have the right to your opinion on matters that affect those living in my community. I, however, did not have the right to voice my opinion on events, in yours.
  Well, you are the cause of our journey on this road of destruction. You, like so many others, refuse to read past the cover. Open the frigging book!! Every single story has some sad parts to it. Reality is not all peaches and cream. There are always losers, because, for a winner, there must be competition. Oh, that's right, the bad guys always lose. Open the book, trust me, good guys do not always win. Fact of the matter, now, numbers win. Large populations over-ride small communities.
  So, I accept, I have no right to give you my opinion on the future of your community. I stepped away. I had simply attempted to give you the heads up, based on experience. You can certainly refuse to listen, and again, I made a decision to let you dig your own dirty, filthy hole.  But...when I see you are selling the septic pond that is going into my backyard, as something positive, I feel free to step up and tell you that the truth is, it stinks to high heaven, and our neighbours got enough to ensure we have to suck it up!!
  You will be sucking up your fair share, soon enough, and your neighbours are certainly going to remember what you decided was inside the book cover. Better hope the bad guys don't win, because some things smell worse than a septic pond!
  BTW..just as an off shoot. Our whole area is under the PRRD, this is something fairly new. I remember when it first started, and how all communities were told, if they didn't join, they would not have certain rights. We joined. So,now our community, because it is small.....is often overlooked when larger places can benefit at our loss. Site C mitigated with the PRRD and...we were totally screwed, but..that forward looking neighbouring community, well, they got a nice piece of the pie.
  Start reading the bloody book!!

Friday, 25 April 2014

This is The Problem

  Recently events occurred at a meeting between First Nations, Oil and Gas industry, and government. This link will give you a starting point, if you are at all interested in finding what I think it is whole problem with the push for LNG, by our government. This single incident is a vivid picture of what our government is doing, and what, we as the people, appear to condone.
  See, our friend Crusty and her fellow twits, decided we could save so much time and effort, if we cut regulations, in regards to oil and gas. Yep, we are going full speed ahead with massive projects, insane construction, and.....instead of adding more supervision to an environmentally based industry, we are simply going to let some of them go ahead, without having to spend extra time ensuring they are sound. Hey, Cursty figures (because she is such an expert on LNG) that if a company claims their plants are sweet gas, they can run along without all the silly issue of regulations in regards to the environment. Well, Crusty, . I am not a geologist, but...I am pretty sure that there are plenty of levels below ground that might have some cute and friendly sweet gas floating about at the top, but...maybe..just maybe...some sour sh*t might be right next door to it? Hey, Crusty can definitely correct me if I'm wrong!
  So...she hands these guys a "get out of Jail free" card. Now she decided all of this with only her crew involved, this wasn't something all the politicians got to take part in, and definitely not something the public was privy to. She handed this information out, at the same time her people were off on a warm and fuzzy Summit meeting with First Nations.
 O.K. just a tiny tid bit of extra info here....in our province, well, supposedly, in our country, government is required to consult with First Nations when anything regarding their land is involved. Crusty is always talking the talk...she even went so far as to pass a new regulations giving FN a piece of the royalties from LNG..ohhhh..what a crafty Krunt!!! Money, money, money...greatest hiding spot in the world, everyone is willing to sweep sh*t under the carpet for enough money, right? So, promises to keep FN up to date with everything happening in their area, and some extra pieces of gold to soften the blow.
  Well, her timing was off by a long shot. She put this news out at the wrong time. The FN having this warm and fuzzy Summit meeting got wind of it, at the same time as the rest of the province. Helloooo...this is not good politics. You promise them you are going to place strict regulations to ensure the safety of their land..because, really Crusty, you are just letting someone onto property that isn't yours to start with, right? Then you decide to change the rules, in mid-flight. Oooops...surprise!!
  These people have a strong woman, and I will take a stab at a guess, a mother, who had the strength to stand up, and call Crusty's bluff. She spoke the truth, and told government they had stabbed her people in the back, and had the courtesy of simply asking government to leave the meeting. Now, I watched all of this on video, I had assumed they just got up and left, not so...they were actually drummed out of the meeting. It is likely few of those who walked out the door, understood the enormity of being drummed out, it is doubtful they recognized the shame they should have felt. They had lied, many times over, and still felt they could hold their heads up and speak with their forked tongues. Our government has no morals, they have no respect, they are a disgrace to humanity, and this woman knew what they said at this meeting would more than likely, be lies again.
  The government back peddled..oh they forgot to mention this to the FN...what????Come on, that is impossible, they did not forget, they just shoved it through mixed up with other stuff, hoping no one would notice. Likely someone in Crusty's group got their hands slapped, for poor timing..maybe..but, this is just the tip of the ice berg. Our government is shoving stuff through daily, breaking rules, and making new ones.
  Now, we come to the root of the problem. In answer to what occurred at this Summit meeting, the municipalities in that area, sent out a letter. This letter stated that they did not agree with what FN had done. They called it, now hold on, this is good....."discriminatory exploitation". HOLA!!!! They further go on to say they are all for LNG, they need LNG, they have no other industry, and don't want the companies to pick up and leave for Alberta, because of this incident.
  OMG..people...Really!!! This woman called out the liars, and the cheats, and the whole regional municipality is standing up to give them a hug, and lay out the welcome mat. This is the problem, liars, cheats, backroom deals, are suddenly acceptable. In fact, they are favoured over those who have been the recipients of the lies, those who have been screwed over, and attempt to make things right.
  This is what sickens me. This is where disaster lies in wait. This is when the people of this province should be standing up, and making government answer to their lies, and their secrets, and their lack of respect to people and the very land they wish to profit from. If you feel safe with how this government is proceeding in regards to LNG..you have your head up your a$$!! Pull it out, right now folks, the red lights and bells are flashing and ringing, and people are sitting back, with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads. Make her do this the right way, the best way for all the people who call British Columbia home!! Get out your drums, and start beating them as loud as you can, and roll the welcome mats out very slowly.

Thursday, 24 April 2014


Crap!!! I have got to find something to keep my mind busy...tried walking the dogs..nothing...all this insanity just floating about inside my head, screaming to get out...So here we go, for a second time, today!!!
  For some reason, pig-headed has been ringing the bells for the past 1/2 hour. This is something I am an expert in. I have been called pig-headed and stubborn since I was a kid. Just another genetic option I was blessed with, got the stubborn streak from my father, and the inability not to speak my mind, from my mother. Quite the combination, but...I have become extremely comfortable with both.
  I am fully aware there are plenty out there, who are not comfortable with who I am...as mentioned before, really don't care..tough sh*t for them!! I am also sure they dislike the fact that someone like me has the ability to spew out to the world, again...suck it up!!
  Yes, I am pig-headed, but, I get that way, because my opinion matters to me!! I am more than willing to debate, with those who feel I am wrong, but, I always try to be fully prepared for battle. When I feel strongly about something I will focus solely on that, and with the awesome tools at my finger tips, I will spend, hours, days, and months researching. Yes, I admit,  I get an instant feeling about something. Things will rub me wrong right off the bat, just like people do. Perhaps, again, another genetic tweak? My instinct has served me pretty well through life, I have made a few errors, but, not many.
  We, as people, have made it to this point, because of those who are pig-headed. The early explorers would never have left harbour, if they did not have a stubborn streak. O.K. they were a tad different than me, because along with that "tweak" they had a jolly little adventurous streak, which, I do NOT have. But, things would have ground to a halt way back in the neanderthal days, if someone had not been persistent.
  Pig-Headed people don't give up, easily. When we find something that rubs us the wrong way, we will try our hardest to prove to the world (or , at least our small circle of it) that our take on things is the right one. No, it's not because we are better than others, therefore, our opinion is correct. I think that is where us PH's(lol, sounds rather important abbreviated) get into trouble. Too many others feel we are trying to shove our opinions down their throats.
  Not true, at all! What we are simply attempting to do, is show everyone else what we see. We are looking way outside the box...Just because most people see what is inside of the box, and it looks pretty appealing, PH's need to know, how it got in the box, where it came from, how much it cost, how long it's going to last, and what else is going to be required once accepted.
  To be pig-headed is often a pain in the butt. It would be so nice to simply accept, and not question, but...again, where the heck would humanity be, if people did not question? Really, folks, while you sit back, and let life flow along smoothly, accepting,...the PH's of the world are running about, worrying about fall-out.
  "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth". Now, see that is an oxymoron for us PH's. We are going to look directly into that mouth. What if that horse only has one tooth? What is the mouth is full of sores? What if, down the road, that horse is going to cost you dearly, when it becomes your responsibility? So, we open up the mouth, and dig around, just in case something is hiding in there.
  So, for those who get fed up with PH's, always placing doom and gloom in your sunny days, maybe you should stop screeching about our "Pit-Bull" mentality. If someone offers acceptable answers to our questions, handing over the dentist's clean bill of horse health, we will relax...and give the horse an apple.
  That's it, folks, the only way to shut a PH up!! Prove them wrong!!! Not an easy task, better sit down and start your research, most of us are well armed!

Legal Rip-Off Questions

  Just some stuff that is floating about my head, right now, figured I would put it out there. Not likely it will answer my questions, but...just can't keep it to myself.
  So.....when did estimations become legal, when it comes to billing? Was it the same time as billing to bill became legal? Who the F*ck sat down and decided utilities did not have to provide the same service as every other business. They ARE business, right? They profit from selling a commodity, one that most folks have come to rely on.
  See, I have been through this with Hydro, more than once, and I know I will be screeching next bill, when we go through the estimation farce.(or maybe not..we have "Smart meters", right?) Yesterday I got my Gas bill. Inside was a lovely little notice informing me that because I had to dish out an incredible amount to stay warm the past winter, I , along with the other customers used up too much natural gas. Today, when the whole province is hearing how we must allow pipelines to be placed all about, and how we have such an abundance of this natural resource, a single hard winter has apparently caused a shortage of supply. Who the F*ck came up with this line of BS?  This is a prime example of talking out both side of your mouth. Oh, we have lots of it...ooops, no we don't..we have to charge more because we are suddenly running out of it...Helllloooooo...Guess this is an excellent way for the rate payers to chip in to help get these pipelines built. I know for a fact, there is a whole whack of that stuff all over the place, and it is flowing pretty darn quickly to areas all over the province, cheaper than it is to the place it is coming from, and, as well, a place that spends a ton more to keep warm in those "hard" winters.
  So, I get the notice....this increase has been placed in the commodity charge. In that charge, I get the head shaking "mid-stream" part of the bill..Now it states some customers may not get charged this mid-stream..hummmmm..who are those folks? See, we pay $1.219 a Gj for this mid-stream, because our provider claims they have to pay someone else to store, transport and help manage their commodity. Along with this fee, is the actual cost of the fuel I used. Now....this increase..well it apparently happened on April 1st. My bill is from March 11th to April 9th...so, I am good enough mathematically to understand, I have 9 days with an increase of $1.368 a GJ. Now, in the real world, a company would come out, and read the meter on the last day of March..right...old price until that time. Ahhhh...but not utilities...they are allowed to estimate. Somehow they can figure out what I used up until the price change date, and then they can bill me the increase on the amount they pull out of the air for the 9 days.
 Their calculations have me using 14.4 Gjs for 21 days and....5.5 Gjs for 9 days. Oh, you may say, this sounds pretty fair. But...what if those 9 days were much warmer than the 21 previous days? What if we were not home for part of that time? How the F*ck do those sitting in an office calculate estimates?I have to accept this calculation. Why do I have to accept, well...I need to keep warm, just in case I use up a whole whack load of gas next Hard winter. Funny, winter was hard, but it wasn't the hardest one we had. Oh, that's right, other parts of the province had a harder time than usual..those parts that get their delivery cheaper than I do!! Now, like everything else, insurance, hydro, groceries...suddenly I have to pay more because of some sorry sad a$$ excuse!!Where does this gas come from? Well, hell, it's right up the hill..just like the freaking Hydro electricity.
  I live in a community that has all the utilities just miles away from my house. There is not a single soul in this town that reads any old meters..those people drive here from elsewhere. I suppose if I had been thinking...I could have taken a timed picture of my meter on March 31st, and attempted to prove what I used at the old rate, that might have worked, I'll never know.
  However, it is past time that things were done above board..want to up the rates, well, read the freaking meters, and use the extra money you are getting for the "cheapest, most abundant" fuel we have on the market, to pay for the reading.
  If we don't have enough natural gas supply, why are we even considering selling it off to another country? Don't try to shaft someone who is always looking outside the box. Your little notice is a big lie, or Crusty had best stop her LNG deals, we need to save up our fuel for ourselves. I can't imagine how expensive this is going to be when we begin exporting it, and we run out with a "hard" winter!!!

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Crusty's Trash Talk

I imagine most everyone who is bored enough to pop by and read my rants, has realized, Crusty Clark is not one of my top ten.
 When she took over for Gordo, I did think, for an instant, she might be O.K. Hey, she was a Mom, she was female, and she had talked the talk on radio..maybe???? I think it was that smirky, slimy smile she started to plaster on her face, at every opportunity. Then the oh woe is me story about how her parents were able to pay for their family home, with a school teacher's salary, and...this was the big one..her election campaign left a pukey taste. She ran a campaign ad in which she visited a farmer, somewhere in the lower mainland, and went off on her speel, on how her government is allowing this farmer to keep his family in his community with jobs local, and how wonderful it was that this farm would continue on for generations. Well, as she is selling the public this happy bubblegum scene, right in my backyard, she is working to drown farmers, and destroy farms that have been in other families for generations. I realized that, like most other politicians, she cared only for those who were her "neighbours". I realized like all others, this b*tch didn't give a crap what she had to do outside her own backyard, to make money.
  Then I listened to how our government was going to make it easier for people in B.C. to enter into Trades. Helloooo..this morning I read the area newspaper, 2 post education facilities in huge struggles, because....government has cut their funding. O.K. here we have the very institutions that train folks in trades, and....government is making it next to impossible to keep the doors open.
   I listened to this new grant for young people wanting to learn trades, funded in 3 parts, federally, provincially and...here's the kicker, industry. So, I think this is how the whole thing works..young Joe, or Josephine finish high school. There is money in trades young person...grab hold of the brass ring now....There is all this funding out there to help you, but, you must find a company willing to dish out a third, the 2 governments will put in a third each. Yep, I know that there are a ton of companies willing to hand out a tasty treat to a kid just out of high school, someone who has no experience but could, if they gamble and put money down. For goodness sakes, this grant system is so flawed, it is likely barely touched.
  Then I read more, I read how our province is going to experience a big boom, so much happening, we don't have the trained people in our midst, we are going to have to bring in TFWorkers. For goodness sakes, people...we could have enough trained people, we could have near zero unemployment, and minimal social assistance, if our government stepped up to the plate, and really made it possible for those who live here to learn how to do the jobs. Instead, we will bring folks in from elsewhere. They will have their medical paid for by the employers, they will get housing from the employers, they may get paid less, but, they will send every extra penny home.
  Here's a thought....why not grab some of those folks on social assistance, unable to work lower paying jobs because they will lose their rent controlled housing, and free medical. If employers can pay these bills for foreign workers, and put them in housing, they can do the same for British Columbians, and these people will accept a lower wage, because they don't have to worry about their loss of health coverage, or a roof over their head. Maybe set up some sort of day care for single mothers. That way, all of the money stays here!! That way the people who live in this province will again be able to spend money at home, and keep business alive in B.C.
  I fear that my children will experience a depression, not a recession. It is so obvious those who live here are losing their jobs, left, right and center. People are slower to spend, because they are concerned about their job security. Out-sourcing has become rampant, I think we have only seen the tip of the ice berg, in that regard.If a country out-sources a huge percentage of their middle and lower class jobs, then government opens the doors to allow other countries to come on in, and help themselves to our resources, what will be the end result?
  Our country can't run on royalties..that is apparent. They have hiked income tax, hidden tax, utility rates, cut education budgets, cut health care budgets, cut everything we hand over ginormous amounts of our working dollars for, and now they are set to cut off the hands that feed them.
 We will be like those citizens of third world countries, standing on corners requesting change from the TFW, maybe we can train a moose, or a Polar bear so they can throw money at the poor local Canadians? Maybe I am going a tad over board, but...if we continue to allow other countries to reap the benefits of what belongs to us, without giving us control, the future looks mighty grim.
  Quit talking trash, Crusty....Look after your own folks, they live here, and they pay you!!!

Following the Footsteps

  Last night, someone on my Facebook "liked" a video someone else shared, and I was privileged to view it. I have an idea who the video owner is, heard her name when we lived in our previous community. I don't know her, maybe we belonged to opposing groups...LOL...oh yeah...like I am a "group" member of anything...Perhaps she has no clue who I am, and likely doesn't care. But, through the magic (and yes, I still think internet is magical) of social media, I was allowed to listen to a message from her heart.
  I doubt she had any clue when she posted this message that it would flow off into the world, entering so many lives, but I imagine when she hit the button, her convictions were so strong, she simply needed to put it out there. Unlike my blogging, she was visual, her tears, and her fear, showed. She is much braver than I, as, if many of my blogs were visual, you would be able to see my tears flow. She has found a purpose, something that is so very important to her, because, it affects not only herself, but the future of her children and grandchildren.
  Funny, humanity projects the protectors as often male. Males are the ones who go off to war, they are the hunters, and providers, and their women and children are theirs to keep safe. However, it is the females who more often look beyond the moment, and stand guard for the future. Perhaps it is because we are always looking outside the box. We have borne children, and they in turn will follow in our footsteps, taking up the lifelong job of another generation.
   As women, and mothers, we have had our struggles, to ensure the generation we are raising survive. We know what difficulties lie ahead for those to follow. We want our children to have a better life, an easier life, than we had. We want them to enjoy the same pleasures we had, and to suffer the hardships far less than we did. We understand we cannot ensure they will not encounter struggles, because, life is full of them, and we realize battles allow humans to grow stronger.
  To watch and listen to this woman, mother, grandmother, cry for the future, made me understand myself, a little better. I realized my fears are not only my own. She speaks what those of us who have managed to look beyond today, see. She is frightened for what is to come for those who follow us, her children, grandchildren, and beyond.
  Yes, she is First Nations, and she speaks of her tradition, and her ancestors, I am not aboriginal, however, this land is the only home I know. I love the land. I do not hunt for sustenance, I hate fish, but, I love the land! I enjoy nothing more than to walk into the "bush" and feel that first moment when the temperature changes, and the peace envelopes me. I feel comfort from the smell, and my feet sinking into the moss. I revel in the fact that I am surrounded by something so huge, and amazing. I am aware I am in uncharted territory, I understand this does not belong to me, or any human being. When I step into the thick forest, I am entering a place that gives me the same feeling as when I enter into church. It is a religious experience, when I feel awe, and when I feel closest to God.
  I remember the day after 9=11, when I walked into the bush. Like everyone else, I was in shock, and the losses to so many was overwhelming. I cannot say that when I entered into the bush, the heartache disappeared, but, I will say that I felt comfort.
 The greatness of nature is a gift. I receive peace, and comfort from it. It allows me the ability to feel what life was like before towns, and cities, before highways, and hydro. It gives one the understanding of what it must have been like for the first people, incredible beauty, endless sustenance, and yes, danger. It is a place where humanity is shown just how small they truly are.
  Now, we stand on the edge of "remodeling" all of nature, or, I suppose, all of that I have been a part of. I am not against pipelines, or progress. I keep saying this, because I realize, there are benefits. But, this time, I can't help but think, we are moving far too fast, and we have become too greedy (or someone has). Our government has removed regulations, and by-passed studies. Agreements are made without public knowledge, and even when they are caught, they say "sorry, we forgot". They state they will now take the time to discuss, but, it is clear they will not truly discuss, they will do as they want.
  Our leaders, and I mean all leaders, have forgotten the future. They are simply living in the moment. Like the woman in the video, I fear for those to follow. I fear they will never have the chance to find the peace and comfort I and those before me enjoyed. I fear if the future cannot envision how great nature is, our world as we know it, will disappear. We must be able to fully understand our past, we must live our present, with the knowledge that the future is our responsibility.
   Like those before us, we walk uncharted territory, we must tread slowly, and carefully. Why can we not understand,one day, what we do now, will be history? Why can we not look outside the box?
  When the women, mothers, and grandmothers begin to cry, our leaders must take heed. We are simply doing our jobs, the job to protect our children's children. We see this is not right, and we are imploring those who are suppose to do what is best for the people to pause, to listen, and tread slowly and carefully,and, to leave a place for the footsteps that follow!

Monday, 21 April 2014

Just in Case

  Yesterday, my family celebrated Easter.
    Now, as you are all aware...I am Christian. Easter has, and always will be a special time. I grew up with the knowledge of what this day represents, and all the days leading up to it. My childhood memories are filled with those of Christmas past, and Easter past. Most every one of those special days, are filled with flashes of my Mother, and my father, and brother. They were days of family.I consider myself very lucky to have those memories. There are other memories filled with my ex--husband, my daughter, my sister-in-law and my nephew. These days were the ones that, along with birthdays, were cause for all of us to get together at my parents, and stuff ourselves full of food, and family time. Those were times I thought would never end, but, without warning...they were gone, along with my Mother.
  I'm not sure if the early loss of the one who made these days so special, is why they have become so important to me. I acknowledge that I have been very, very lucky up until now, to spend most of them surrounded by my children and Grandchildren. We go all out with the cooking (not so much the baking), for Christmas and Easter, in my house. It is always packed full. This year, we were missing our son-in-law , who had to work, but another spot at the table was filled with my youngest' s  boyfriend, and my Grand-daughters good friend, making an even 10. Two tables filled with family! Again the empty spot that was once filled with our dear friend, who although she is not close enough to be here in person, she is always with us in our hearts.
  It is a lot of work, up in the early hours, stuffing the turkey, then out helping to hide the treats for the Grandchildren.. Dogs running about, TV games on the go, bickering in the backroom. Fridge door opened on a constant basis. Someone is hungry, someone is picking on someone else, someone stepped on something prickly, and their foot hurts.
   I hear a steady stream of how I favour one of my children over the other...two girls and one boy..guess who they claim I favour? I get bombarded on how I favour one Grandchild over the others, as well. But, I truly hope that this is all in fun. I hope that my children realize they have all been raised fairly, and perhaps, now that they are grown, and one well on the road to having grown children of her own, these arguments are all in fun. All my children and Grandchildren come from the same tree, but, they are individual branches, with completely different designs and needs. I have simply tried to tend to the branches as I saw fit.
  I see each of these special celebrations as possibly the last. I wish with all my heart I had known the last one we had with my Mother, and I would have savored every single moment, etching them in my mind. With these, I do that. I pull the camera out, and ensure there is a visual memory of these days, just in case. This has become even more important as the years pass.
  Although there are some moments of yelling, and fighting. I no longer get upset if something is spilled, or broken. I ignore the mess, I don't care if plates don't match, and someone has a dessert fork for their meal. I try not to think of the morning after, when I have laundry for the whole day, and a fridge filled with left overs they didn't feel like hauling off to their own homes. I live for the moment on these days. I feel the need to leave some memory of the laughter, just in case.
  This day, the "just in case" is closer. Events have occurred that may mean the next special time, we may not all be close enough to all be together. I find it difficult to imagine not having a house full, and this thought was in the back of my mind, all day. I hope that some good memories were planted. I hope that I have followed in my Mother's footsteps, just a little, and given my children moments they will be able to look back and smile about. I hope that these special days will continue to be a time for family, for them, and theirs, long after I am no longer seated at the table. I hope that this Easter was a time good enough for ... just in case!

Wednesday, 16 April 2014


 This won't be one of my long drawn out rants...just something that as been floating about my grey matter since yesterday. It was one of those things that before it even happened, my tiny pea sized brain was vibrating. See, some things that seem good, are actually just a teeny bit questionable.
  Maybe you will think I am uncaring, or thoughtless, or cheap. Well, you have me pegged on the cheap, but...I am neither thoughtless or uncaring (most of the time). Some things, are near and dear to my heart. Sick children are pretty much at the top of that list.
  Thing is...I have an issue when I go into a store to purchase something. Now, I have to pay for this item, I have to dish out the taxes, and in some cases, cripes, I have to either provide my environmentally friendly personal bag...or.to walk out of the store with an item I paid for, I can chose to pay for a bag...or simply cart it out in my arms...This tidbit, ticks me off, but I am veering away....I cringe when I am standing in line and notice whatever little sign the store in question has stuck up for the world to see, and how you can donate...I actually shudder, because I know I will not be able to say "NO" to whatever charity the business sees fit to request me to pay into.
 Yes, Wally Mart is wonderful, handing out all those large cheques to whatever needful place they see fit to support. The pictures are on TV, in the papers...Wally Mart gives...$$$$$$. F*CK THAT!!! Wally Mart customers handed over the cash. Oh, maybe they donated some of the money, but, truth is, the customers standing in line to pay Wally Mart money that in turn provides them a pretty hefty profit, dished out the majority of that cash. Grocery stores...crap, this is a real pain...first I am expected to pay a price for items far in excess of those customers "down south" because of course all those goods must travel a great distance, so I pay for the "shipping", then they want to add another charge onto my mind boggling bill, as a donation to whatever cause is on the list for that day.
  I know I am not alone.I know there are others out there much like me, who feel cornered. We are not bad people, we would likely hand over large amounts to great causes if we had our vaults filled with spare cash at home. But as we move through the crowded conveyer belt line up to the till, we are totally aware that our bill is going to be more than we planed. Can't give them $1, geez...that's cheaping out, you know it is going to be $5 because that is usually the first amount they "suggest".
  Now, here is a question, when Wally Mart or the grocery store hand over these ginormous cheques to whatever charity they chose....do they get a tax deduction? I have to think they do. Hey, I may be wrong, but chances are they get a receipt that those counting their "beans" get to put in a line on the income tax papers.
  I would be handing out cheques to every single charity in the world if folks were lining up outside my door to hand me the money to do so. Heck, I would have the ultimate tax write off, and all I would have to do was stand there, and take the money!
  Again, I didn't Google, and research how this system works. I might be wrong...could happen...But, I am not a fan of the "feel obligated" give to charity, after paying your bill schemes, and I am certainly not a fan of enabling a large corporation to find a way to get themselves a hefty tax write-off!
  Just my personal opinion....

Monday, 14 April 2014

The Supernatural

 Yesterday I saw all these posts on FB, folks are all happy and smiling , because the community of Kitimat voted "NO" the the Enbridge pipeline. HOLA, folks,   really? Do you think your vote is going to make any difference in the freaking world? If you do, get yourself a handicapped sign, because you are mentally deranged.
  What information do you hold, that the rest of the Province, no the country, is not privy to? Why do the wishes of your community make a difference, and those of so many other communities, fall on deaf ears? Is your community somehow in control of Crusty's dreams? Do the First Nations of your territory have more power than those of others? Is there some unfair advantage you have, that every other place the present government has seen fit to set pipelines in motion, did not possess?
  You said "NO"! Good for you!!! If the people of this province have sat back thinking everything is on hold, until the impacted area decides if they can move in, you win the stupid award!! You win this, because with all the information open to the public, you have not done your research. This pipeline, along with many others, is moving along very nicely, with a pretty good head of steam, aided profusely by all governments involved.
  I have admitted to being Pro O&G. But, with what is in various stages for our neglected areas, I have to shake my head. I live in an area that even the farthest back road you travel, has some sort of pipeline on it, or a well, or a gas plant. Remember when hunters used to follow the ridge line, or river when they got lost in the middle of nowhere? Well, now one can simply follow a pipeline. Soon, you will have to ask permission to hunt,because you will be infringing on company property.
  You are all hollering about Enbridge, for crying out loud..that is just one of hundreds. You can't stop this!!!Do you think just because you live there, you can put a stop to something that has been sitting on the desk of every single member of the Federal and Provincial government desks, discussed in the backrooms for likely years? Do you actually think that what the people say, has any bearing on what will happen?
  Look around!! Transmission lines, hydro projects, money, money, money...all spent out of your tax dollars to ensure all of this is going to come to fruition. You say you don't want it, why the F*ck are you paying for it? You didn't know what was happening? Well, too bad, you are all just a little too late!
  The money has been spent, as you were waiting for the right time to have your say, companies have made application for all sort of stages, and.....surprise...they have all been accepted! Fools!!! The Pied Piper has been playing his music for a very long time, and now...you will pay the price, because you didn't make him stop.You still think that because you said NO, all of these companies will simply wrap things up, and walk away, after so much investment, paid to your government? Crusty smiles, because she has sold your souls to the devil, and there is not a single thing you can do.
  Holler "No" all you want! But, take a few moments to pop in to see all the applications with your government. Scroll about and see just how many have been refused...pretty difficult to find the word "NO" in there.
 You have heard my fight, not with O&G but with a crown corporation. I have kept you up to date on what happened when this area screamed NO, with tears in our eyes. We actually had a promise from Government that this would not happen. I have attempted to tell you what the desire of a community means to Government. Yet you appear to believe a vote will change the course of progress, so close to it's destination.
  Crusty's trick has been to set so much on our plates, that we simply cannot focus on all of them. People have chosen one project dear to them, and ignored all the others. Well, they are all part of a grand scheme, and unless someone can work magic, we are now royally screwed!
  Welcome to British Columbia, super tankers, super pipelines, and the amazing  Supernatural Crusty Clark!!!

Friday, 11 April 2014

Restless Mind

Some days, my mind just won't rest. Now today, with a bag of potting soil sitting outside on my patio table, tiny green sprouting things getting taller and taller in their tiny little peat pots, and all that was bare yesterday, coated in snow...my mind is bubbling.Perhaps it is because I am feeling imprisoned? I could clean, I could read, I could even watch TV, but, no....I would have to concentrate on the task at hand, and it is clear that tiny glob of grey matter,is not going to cooperate.
  Today, someone sent me off in a direction I never went before. They offered up a single word, and requested I search for it's meaning. What I found was amazing. I am fully aware that my inept use of grammar, likely drives some insane, and they would find it surprising how much I love words, but I do! This single word, and it's definition, has made me understand myself, if only a little.
  If you think I awake each day, knowing exactly what I am going to go off on a rant about, you are so wrong. I actually astound myself, when I feel obliged to throw my own personal opinions out to the world, but, it has become second nature. Something flies into the blank area, and I start picking away at the keyboard
. I know I am different, because if I wasn't, there would be a whole whack of others blogging.Ooops, silly me, there are! But, in my tiny little world, I am pretty much alone with this passion and , I realize it is a passion, uncontrollable or not. I enjoy the chance to have my say, and I know it is me at my most vulnerable, it is what I have inside, open to the whole world.
  The word I was given was "Enlightenment". I read, and I recognized, and knew the true meaning, and I felt I had found the source of what drives me to do this. Seldom does one single word, make such a huge impression on me, but this has answered my own question, on why I do this.
  Sorry, I am not going to tell you what I found. If you are at all interested, go check it out. Maybe you will find an answer for yourself,or maybe you will begin to question. I am very grateful I searched, and found an answer. I understand what I do is not wrong, it is not hurtful. I am simply on a path that leads in a direction I chose to travel.

Wading in...slowly

The other day, I sat down and wrote a blog, along with 40 others, it sits in drafts. I tell you that I don't care what I say..but..I guess I lie a little. Some subjects, especially the ones that have me requested to start walking on the short pier, make me take pause, before hitting the publish button. I don't do it because I am afraid of backlash towards myself..that I enjoy, mostly because when I set things down, I do so with some research on my part. or, personal experience.
  Some subjects, however,regard those who I cannot comment on, because, they do not affect me. Well, you know what, they have, and still do affect me, but politics can skew things, especially things in regards to FN's, and along with the politics come the militants, and those who will claim I have no right, so although I can argue my right in the following, I will attempt to wade into this slowly.
  Our government has managed to destroy First Nations own traditional government. A system of governing that was almost perfect. A system that our own was based loosely on. The FN I speak of ,( I understand there are others that are different) are the same that have been in the midst of the LNG business rushing in at warp speed.
  Just going to give a short history lesson that will begin with Clans..because I know everyone has heard this word. So, we have a Clan, a large group of people situated in a specific territory. This is land that belongs to them. Within this Clan, we have the Chief. He is the person who has the duty to ensure his Clan flourishes. Each person within his Clan, is, in fact, his family. Truth of the matter, his children, are not. See, most FN are matriarchal which means, they follow their mother. His children are the responsibility of another Clan Chief, so his focus is solely on his Clan, no favoritism for his kids, no special gifts for his wife. When the Clan is too large for a single group, they evolve into "Houses",all the same family, but now they live within sub-groups, and each sub-group has what was called a "Wing Chief". To ensure all the Houses remained under the Chief's care, the Wing Chiefs would speak for their House. Nothing was done within the Clan, unless all the Wing Chiefs were consulted. It worked almost perfectly, nothing was ever a surprise, because each House was party to what involved the Clan as a whole.
 Strangely enough, our government is based on a system, somewhat the same. However, as Canadian's we have seen this system failed drastically. The little holes appeared when certain (lets call them Territories) Territories felt they were entitled to more, and because their "Clans" were bigger, our "Chief 'allowed them to speak more than the smaller Clans. Then our Chief decided he would start handing out riches from the smaller Clans to the big ones. Oh, he listened to all the "Wing Chiefs" for a little while, but then, because he lived in the big territory, he decided it was easier to keep that one happy, and since the other smaller clans were so far away, he decided to do things without consulting the Wing Chiefs. Hey, it was so much faster, right? Plus, the big Clans were happy. Suddenly instead of consulting to see what the faraway Clans needed, or felt about something, the Chief decided he knew what was best for all, and the Wing Chiefs words fell on deaf ears.
  Hey, just trying to keep this all together...Throughout all of this, our (I call him "our" in the Canadian sense) Chief decides he is going to tweak FN's, so he sets up Reserves. (I'm not going back so far as the Indian Agent this Chief set in power..I will simply go into Band Councils)He sends this new government money each month to keep things running on the reserve. The reserve is NOT a Clan, or even a House, it is simply a collection of people from many Clans, who live in a small piece of land set aside for their use. That money is not governed by a Chief and Wing Chiefs, it is controlled by a Chief elected by those on Reserve (and those off get the right to vote as well) and Council members, also elected in. Guess what, that Chief and those Council members don't have a Clan based mindset. Of course, they are governing a reserve, right? They can hand out money to their children, their wives and husbands, their cousins, their friends, so you have special treatment going to the ones the Chief likes, and the councilors, totally opposite of the traditional way.
   Now, keep in mind, the Clans are still there, the Houses are still there, the Traditional Chief and Wing Chiefs still remain a part of the Feast system..Hola...I didn't even mention that, and it is the base of FN government..Well, it was!!! The Feast hall was the place everything that involved Clan business was done. Every person in the Clan, every House was informed of happening in the Feast. It was not just the place the people went to celebrate, or mourn, it was their Parliament as well. It was the place disagreements were dealt with, crimes were punished, achievements were acknowledged, it was the epicenter, or hub of FN's government.
  However, with the advent of Reserves, and what has become a tier system within FN's, you have the on-reserve and off-reserve people. You have those connected through Band Council and those not. You have deals made by "our" Chief and his Wing Chiefs with Council and perhaps a couple of Clan Chiefs, who have forgotten their traditions. They forgot the Feast Hall, they forgot their Clan is their family,not their children. They have forgotten their duty is to their Clan and all their Houses, and that they are to gather their Wing Chiefs from each House who will speak to the members, and in the end, allow their Clan , as a whole to flourish.
  I am Umshewa (white). I despise how our Chief has forgotten the small Clans, and handed what belongs in this territory to other Clans. I looked to FN's government as something that was right and fair, almost perfect. I have seen that like so many other things right and fair, it has disappeared, and been sold off by those who did not own it. In FN tradition all that is in the present ,is a gift from the past, and only a loan ,to be kept for the future.
  The future has been handed away...and the money that has passed hands, will disappear. The price has been at the cost of those yet to come, and there is no doubt, it was not worth what was received..
  As usual, folks, this is my own personal opinion...take it for what it's worth.

Tuesday, 8 April 2014


O.K. this isn't going to be about mushrooms, although, I do know a teensy bit about some mushrooms(no not the magic ones, silly). I remember when I was a kid, and went off to the airport to visit my Dad, he had a plaque there "we are the ******* Mushrooms. They keep us in the dark, and feed us bullshit".
  Well, this plaque should be hanging at the entrance of British Columbia! I don't think very many folks have a clue as to what is happening in their province. I blame the lack of media , well, not the lack, but the inept reporting of news, on the majority of this. But, I can't possibly be the only person who clicks on my computer and surfs for information, can I?
  Are there so many out there who really don't care? Is the province filled with twits who think our government is actually looking out for our best interests? Cripes after the last election, I know it isn't true.  
  Ooops there is the next puddle of blame..government opposition. Frig, I remember back in the olden days, politicians verbally fighting over things, and no fear of spewing what they felt to the public, so we could decide who we felt was right. Politicians had their work cut out for them, they had to prove to the people their way was best. Now opposition doesn't do diddly, just in case they are up to bat next, and don't want to burn the bridge to the almighty dollar.
  Holy crap,folks. Money is flowing all over the place..almost like there is a pipeline of it connected to the North Coast, but that isn't there, is it? Our government isn't approving pipelines right now..because..hey, they have to have hearings to allow the people to decide..don't they?
  See, I think the trick of Crusty's minions, is to have so many rods in the fire, no one can see them all. Hey, lets just throw a hundred project applications in, and see how that works. The North West has been left to struggle for a very long time, we have ignored them. Now. we will give them what they have been hollering for, and we will bury them, cage them, or drown them. See, someone will smell the scent of bullshit, but they won't be able to find it hidden under the big pile, and by the time they find it, we'll make sure we have set in place a new regulation that will make it O.K.
  Today, I questioned myself again....Yes, our groceries are bought with coal money, how can I have the nerve to talk smack about coal mines? We bought our groceries with oil and gas money,once as well. Here I am knocking that. Truth is, I am not knocking either of these, I am knocking how our Government is slacking off on their job. They are suppose to protect our land....Super Natural British Columbia!! They are doing the total opposite. They have lifted regulations, investigations, processes , and have attempted to allow industry to fast track into our parks and protected areas.
  When your Government sees fit to lift regulations in an area they promised to set aside, to be left for those who wish to enjoy natural beauty, for profit, you had best start clicking and surfing to see what else they are up to.
  Today I heard things that scared the crap out of me,oh don't worry, not about to share my nightmare with you , just yet. It is blatantly apparent few really give a sh*t.
   Hey, it is hanging over top of every last person looking out their window in economically depressed , dink a$$ town B.C. Look carefully, do some surfing, the big black cloud is getting ready to drop a whoop ass sooner than you imagine! This time, a raincoat is not going to protect you, and don't go looking to the government for disaster relief!

Monday, 7 April 2014

The New Politics

Although it still needs formal approval, BC Hydro is moving forward in its plans to build the Site C Dam Project west of Fort St. John. Read more at: http://bit.ly/1joabYp
   So, it doesn't take a genius to read between the lines. All one has to do is read the comments.." it's going to happen, so we may as well accept it"! WTF was all that money, time and energy that was spent on the big Public Hearings Panel, who haven't even had a chance to hand in their report, in aid of?The camp project, up for bids, the construction of the dam now in the next phase..holy crap!!!
  Why are people simply accepting the fact that our government has decided to do something, even if it is not right? When did the people in a free world, decide they didn't want to expend the energy to keep their world free? That's what we are doing, we are sitting back, and allowing everything to be controlled by those who were placed in the driver's seat to take the province where we wanted to go. Now the driver has decided to veer off to some side road, that will be quick and shine brightly for a few moments, and then turn into sinking sand.
  HOLA!!! People, really, what has happened to the rights of those who pay the ones at the top? It is rampant in business, and commerce, and oh so very obvious in politics, this disdain for those impacted, or those who say no. Well, "say no" goes beyond the dating world, folks go to jail if they don't listen to "NO", however it appears if you are in charge, you can just plug your ears and do as you please, spinning the facts to whatever suits your goal.
  I am going to tell it like it is..MONEY. Hey, I like the stuff just as much as the next person!! I want nothing more in life than Health, wealth and happiness, but...often, well pretty much always, money comes with a price. Most of us pay the price of working, but there are other costs. Problem is, if the majority think the cost will be borne by someone far away, what do they care? Hey, survival of the fittest...O.K. wrong analogy, but you get the point, right? Oh, hey maybe this works..."not in my backyard". Yep, that's it!!! Everything ends up in someone's backyard. If we just keep closing our eyes,sooner or later the money pit will end up in your backyard (unless you live in Vancouver or Victoria). Then you will see, you no longer have a single ounce of control of what happens.
  Cripes, I am like that person who you read about in the little side column of the paper. Those people who you hear about who happen to have built their dream home on a plot of land that suddenly becomes the highway, that is going to make so many lives better..too bad for those folks with the house, power in numbers. It's all well and fine to glance at the story, maybe feel a tiny pang of remorse for those people, and then forget about it. I did that!! I admit..it wasn't personal to me, and I simply didn't care enough.
  However, this isn't just a highway going through a dream home, this is a huge body of water, flooding farms, homes, and business. The land cannot be reclaimed, simply by removing asphalt. It is clear to those of us here (well many of us, in fact the majority)this is wrong. We felt that having an esteemed Panel of experts who would look at things with a non-biased eye (or eyes) was wonderful. Why? Because the facts speak for themselves, this project is wrong on so many levels. I will lay money (oops don't have any) the result of those hearings will suggest government, both Federal and Provincial put this plan back on the shelf where it belongs. I imagine Ms. Crusty and BC Hydro know this is likely, but..hey, lets just pretend, spend so much money, our next line to the people of the Province will be..too much invested, taxpayer will have to pay the price of what we have spent , unless we finish the plan, and then we won't have to pay until it is built and producing. Yep, we know that's the deal..don't have to pay for the pipers until the dam is functioning, but..there is no such deal in place for everything that has been doled out already.
  We have become complacent! A very dangerous attitude to have. We quietly accept everything, even if we know it is wrong for the future. The damage is covered by itty bitty grants, and legacys, and those who feel it is worthwhile, will spit on anyone who doesn't agree..Tree Huggers..that's the immediate brand. Well, I am not, nor have I ever been, a Tree Hugger!!! I just know this is not the best for the Peace River, or the Province, and I am sickened that all those who feel like I do, simply accept "It is going to Happen".
  We do NOT live in a free world, we live in a Totalitarian Country, and we are swallowing everything that is shoved down our throats. Spit it out folks, and speak up!!!

Saturday, 5 April 2014


Well, strap in folks, this may be a long one.Phobias have come to the brain surface simply because it is that time of year again. I have enjoyed a few months of relaxation, but, it is apparent that lovely time has come to an end.
  I have a ton of phobias! Let's get that straight, right off the bat. I have actually, somehow found a way to rid myself of one huge one, along the way, and I wish I knew how that happened, so I could get rid of the others, but....it's just not clear how I managed to rid my phobia of skeletons. I know how I got it, and it stayed with me for years, and then suddenly...gone.
  As a young child, I would often listen at my bedroom door to the adults talking at the dining room table. Usually these talks were done with a bottle of Scotch in the middle of the table, so they were always interesting. One fateful night, the discussion was about some road between Terrace and Rupert, and how they had discovered a car at the bottom of a lake, with.....yes...a skeleton sitting in the car! That was all it took. I could not open a book with a picture of a skeleton, I could not stand to see one in a movie. Thank goodness one seldom chances upon skeletons during day to day life, or I would have been a basket case. Maybe it was science class that rid me of this phobia?Maybe it was working with the poor bunny rabbit we had to open up and go through from skin to bone? Not sure, but it simply disappeared.
  The arachnid phobia..cripes, I have no clue where this began, but it has made my life a living hell! I swear this phobia was fluff related. Really!! My first recollection of the phobia was my Dad simply sitting in his chair, bending over and picking something up and then getting up with whatever in his fingers. I was lying on the carpet watching TV at the end of the livin groom. No thoughts, no speaking, I was up like a shot, and out the door. I remember it being the middle of winter, I was in barefeet, there was about 4 feet of snow, and I stopped running at the church ,1/2 a block away! That's the first spider incident I remember. Why I imagined the fluff was a spider, who knows, but the fear has grown out of proportion.
  Those of you who figure you don't have a phobia, and think those who do, are silly, understand, none of us want this. I hate the fact that I swiffer my ceilings on a steady basis, because those suckers will hide out and then drop from above. I hate the fact that before laying in bed, I must make a total check of the ceiling, walls, and floor, just in case there is a random 8 legged monster lurking. I must pull the covers down to ensure there isn't one in the bed. I will not kill any, over a certain size, and have to wait for someone else to "save" me, knowing they will likely have fun before they murder the things. Those I can dispatch, I will take a moment to find someone else's shoes, not going to have the possibility of hitting it with my own, and then having it still somewhat alive under my feet. I have used a whole bottle of perfume, I have sprayed them with hairspray, whatever is close enough, that is my weapon. I have drowned them in hot water, and then poured bleach down the drain, just in case they are trying to climb out. I brush my hair umpteen times a day, thinking somehow one is crawling around, if a hair brushes against my face. I can't look at them in books, or on TV, instantly I get the creepy crawlies, and the hair stands up on my arms, and I start to itch.
 So, maybe it seems silly, but, if I knew how to fix this, I would have done it long ago. I tried very hard to deal with it when my kids were young, just didn't want them to become as petrified as I am. They are much better than me,they will actually kill the oversized ones for me. My son is able to enjoy his power, and will at times make me suffer, unsure if the piece of kleenex contains the body, or a live specimen. I do not want them to dispose of the body in the garbage, it must be flushed, just in case.....
  This phobia is the only one that actually causes setbacks for me. The "bone" one, well, that might be an offshoot of the skeleton..not sure. I just don't like eating food with bones in it. Fish..nope, only fish and chips, and halibut...pretty much bone free. I love the taste of salmon, but, dammit, almost impossible to eat a mouthful without some tiny bone in it. Chickenwings..not on your life! T-Bone steak,I must cut the bone off the meat, before I am comfortable eating it. MacDonalds Riblit sandwich...awesome, all the taste, and no bone to get in the way.
  See. I may sound silly, and when I sit down and write it out, it seems strange to me. I will pick up garter snakes, I am in awe of lizards, I love bugs of all sorts,moths, worms, even centipedes and June bugs, don't fizz on me. Geez I wish I had a phobia about lizards, because they never appear on my ceilings! Or,perhaps armadillos......small chance of finding one of those under the covers...

Friday, 4 April 2014

Don't Rock The Boat

I imagine those of you who don't know me, will be very surprise to learn, I am the world's biggest candy-a$$. If you want to cheap out, take me to the carnival. My family totally enjoys the fact that I get scared on anything other than the bumper cars. I tried the ferris wheel, but my beloved proved it is nothing close to romantic, when he started to rock the damn seat.
  But, set me down on solid ground, and I have no issue rocking every flipping boat that is out of the water.I admit, I was a non-rocker for a very long time. I thought if I stayed quietly in the background, nothing would affect me. Just stay out of everything, it doesn't concern me. Then it becomes habit, and even when it is going to affect you, the need to keep quiet overrides action. It is no different than voting, folks, if something is happening that is going to affect you, even if you feel it is simply going to lay a thin coating of dust as it develops , all moaning after the fact can be blamed on your lack of participation.
  I heard about Site C years ago. However....hey, it was going to bring progress, it was going to mean jobs, it was going to simply raise the level of the river a few feet.WTF was everyone complaining about it? I didn't see the big picture, I figured that little raise in river level was not going to affect me at all, just a little dust!
  Things have a tendency to change with time, Plans are tweaked, projects grow bigger, more and more baggage is added to the original arrangements, and suddenly you feel the need to grab onto that boat and rock the living crap out of it, but it is no longer just a boat, it is a frigging tanker, and your tiny voice is drowned in the noise.
  The tiny voices in one of my favourite author's book, Whoville, when combined were heard. They all had to participate in order for this to happen. I have always thought Dr. Seuss had morals to most of his stories, and the lesson that book taught was even the smallest matter, but they have to holler to be heard.
 I learned my rocking lesson the hard way. My insignificant river level rise has turned into a huge mess, right in my backyard. I have no control, and those who sit quiet when plans are being hatched, should pay careful attention. Rock your boats as hard as you can so that you see all the luggage, even those carry-on bags, because maybe you missed what was packed into that, and instead of a little dust, you will find yourself coated in boulders.

Thursday, 3 April 2014

Lonely Convictions

It is obvious, the majority of folks do not run into as many things in their lives that cause them to rant away like I do. Not quite sure why I can't just step back, and accept, when I seem to be the only one ticked about something. I really think that there are others floating about who feel something is not quite right, but, would rather just go with the flow, and hope for the best. I can't!! If something ticks me off, or smells a little funky, I latch on, and work as hard as I can to prove that there is indeed something rotten. I am also aware, often, even if, in the end, I am spot on, no one really cares. Perhaps it is because they already decided flowing along was pretty comfortable, and they can plug their noses long enough so the smell disappears? Maybe they are worried that rooting around will cause the stink to get stronger, and they don't want to have to touch things that are rotten?
 Perhaps my experience at Hotel cleaning has given me an ability to stick my nose into sh*t? I don't wade into a pile of crap because I want to, I wade in, because I can't stop myself. I want to right something that I feel is wrong. That is my personal conviction, I have no control over what my heart or mind tell me, and once I start to dig, I will do my best to convince others the smell has a source, and I will not stop until I have found that rot.
  The reason I explain that it is out of my control, is, that my convictions have come with a pretty huge price.
 The truth will prevail, well, perhaps at one time, that was true. My convictions have proven this is not the case.  Honesty is the best policy...yep, another one that has gone the way of the Dinosaurs. Lessons learned along the way.
 Convictions, if they are not the standard, can leave one all alone. Even if your conviction is correct, if it does not match those who apparently matter, or...this is the best part, if they do not result in a positive outcome for those who matter, they become liabilities.
  It took me a very long time to learn that right is often wrong. Along the way, I got left in the dust of those who really didn't have a single conviction, or...actually, had the ability to change their convictions like underwear. I suppose that really means they did not have any convictions, because in definition a conviction is "a firmly held belief or opinion", so they held nothing firmly. Even when the truth became known, it didn't make a lick of difference.
 I imagine that is why the world is such a f*cked up place now. The only people standing up for their convictions are those willing to ask questions, and once things are questioned, they are branded trouble makers. They are not recognized as watchdogs, just pot stirrers. No one wants to stir the pot, but, if you never dig to the bottom of the pot, and move stuff, it will stick there and pretty soon the whole pot will be useless.
 So, when you hear of someone stirring the pot, and standing up for their convictions understand, that person is likely someone much like myself, someone who is unable to control their hearts and minds. It is not a person on a tangent to cause trouble, because convictions are funny things, when one gets them, they just feel trouble will occur because they don't get the sticky stuff off the bottom of the pot. These are people who are alone, with that damn conviction controlling their lives, and people who learn very quickly, convictions are generally ,socially unacceptable.

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Becoming a Grown Down

Hey I am sure that is definitely not the correct term, however, in my mind, it states things clearly.
  See, it is obvious there is a life cycle. You are a baby, a child, a teenager and then a Grown up (adult). I knew all of that, and, as old as I am, I have experienced those stages. Now I am in one I never heard about. Maybe it is new? Maybe I belong to the first generation of Grown Downs? I know I am not alone in this stage, many of my friends have spoken my thoughts. I have to tell you all, well, those of you who have not entered this stage...it's a pretty good place to be.
  We spend so much time needing, or wanting throughout our lives. We need a car, we need the newest clothes and shoes, we need to make a good impression, we need to strive at our jobs, in search of the big promotion. We need a big house, with extra bedrooms, and 5 million bathrooms, with self cleaning ovens, and self closing drawers. We can't live without granite countertops, or wall sized Television sets. Our children must be kept up dated with every cell phone, ipod, itouch, i whatever. They must join any group within the community, they must be involved in every social activity. We want to be liked, we want to be in the upper echelon group, we want to prove we are just as good as the next person. So much stress, so much money.
  However, suddenly all of those truly meaningless things disappear from our minds. Our children are grown, the house is too big. We realize that out of the big group of people who were once so very important, there are just a few select folks who really matter, and many of those are so far away, all of our needs and wants, make no difference in our friendship. They are friends simply because they like us!! No need to prove diddly to them.
  We look around, nice car, nice house, but, suddenly the realization that it is all too much hits home. What exactly do we need 4 bathrooms for, when there are two of us?We are stunned to learn that all along, a person only needs the basics. A roof over their head, food, and contentment. To always strive to get more and more, keeps contentment out of reach. Is contentment possible?
  I believe it is! I believe now that I am becoming a Grown down, I will soon be content. The moment I can find a way to sell off all I have invested years into, and return to the very basics of life, contentment will be mine! Yes, all those lovely pictures of little cabins off in the wilderness that show up day after day on Facebook, are the signs of other Grown Downs.
 Our generation is not filled with Snow Birds living in RV's throughout the winter, that are often so lavish, they put homes to shame. We are not seniors who dream of living our last days out in some top of the line Old Folks home, with spa treatments down the hall. We are the new Grown Downs who want to find our way back to the simple things, a place we can have the basics, and to be able to afford the ability to savour every moment. Maybe the moments will not be filled with excitement , but..trust me, when you hit my age, excitement becomes something totally different, and far easier and cheaper than that of a Grown Up.
  So, all those of you who are stressed, and tired of the rat race, and the expense of life, remember, some day, you will start to grow down (well, maybe not everyone). What you have had to work so hard to afford, will simply become a savings account. Likely not a high interest return, but, an account that you can use to go back to the basics. It may not sound like much, right now, but in my world, it sounds absolutely perfect, and an excellent prize for growing down!