Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Thursday, 8 January 2015

Worker Ant

 Yes, I know, one is never too sure what they will find when they click in..what rant am I on this time? Well, this one, I have sat down more than once to attempt, it's a bit of a pickle, and I am still just a wee bit confused myself, so bear with me, as I muddle around.I am only muddling, because, it is bubbling away, and I need to clean it out, before it goes bad.
  See, I have spent most of my life working at jobs that require me to perform a specific work load, and...I attempt  my best to do so. Almost all the jobs I have had, were in a group setting, I must do a set job, in order to ensure a company/section, runs smoothly. Granted, I have had positions that often mean I work alone, but, in the end, it was a group of fellow workers, doing their own part, and completing a variety of duties that came together in  finished product. I never had to worry about what others were doing, because, there was always a "boss" a person that was at the head of all the jobs, who was not a part of the group, they were the top of the Hill, so to speak, the job was, in truth, their responsibility. They had to check on all the little Worker Ants (one of which would be me) to make sure they did not have problems completing their small part in the big picture.
  I think I have mentioned more than once, one of these Boss people, my very favourite boss, not to say I have not had others who I truly enjoyed working for. Do you get that part? I worked FOR them. When I was in the military I had a ton of Boss people, in fact, almost every single person I worked with, was a boss to me, I was simply a Private, the bottom of the barrel. When I worked in the Bank, again, almost everyone there was in a higher position. I was simply responsible for my job. If I didn't do my job properly, I got called on it. If I continued not doing my job properly..I expect I would have been  fired. I have been laid off , more than once, from a few jobs, but, never fired. I expect the reason I never got fired was, I was always given the opportunity to sit down, and have an evaluation every so often. During these, I would be told where I stood out, and where I was lacking. Oh, I would usually dread evaluations, but, in fact, after them, I would feel pretty good, there was always something I excelled at. The things I needed to correct, well, I had the chance to attempt to perform better, work a little harder, so that the next evaluation, I would be credited for my hard work.
  I enjoy being a Worker Ant. I do not have any wish to become responsible for a bunch of other Ants. I can control my own work, but, I simply cannot control the work of others, and..do my work. I prefer to stay a part of the group, to stay where I am comfortable.
   I have managed others, and worked my own share, but, in a totally difference environment. One that had set rules, set work loads, and set number of employees, a very simple business, with single employees covering 3 shifts. That was a pretty simple management position, the only issue, was covering shifts, on occasion. However, I was NOT really a part of a group, in this instance, I was much older than most employees, I had a family, and I was friends with my employer.
  To be a BOSS, means, you remove yourself from the group. You try and enforce the rules, you complain about others, you, in fact, become management. You can't pick both sides, it just doesn't work. You make a choice to step up, along with the choice, you accept that the Worker Ants are your responsibility. However, the moment you accept this, it belongs to you. You can't hand it off, it sticks like glue. You might make a little more in wages, but, make sure it is worth the cost, because, there is a pretty damn high price to pay, when you move higher on the hill.
  You open yourself up to getting thrown under the bus, for trying to work both sides. You can work yourself into insanity, and instead of a gold star, you can get hit with a sack of burning poop. You can find that everything you tried so hard to do, was just not good enough! You are not an army ant, you are not the queen ant, you are not even a red ant, you are simply a tiny little worker ant, who lost her way.
  I lost my way! Somehow, I ended up working two levels of the Ant Hill at the same time, just an impossible task. I would have probably enjoyed life at the top of the Hill, if  didn't have to work like an idiot at the bottom, as well. The view from the top of the hill, is much different when you have to run up and down it. There is an awful lot going on in the Ant Hill, and the whole thing can topple if the tiny little Worker Ants don't work together. Mighty hills have been built with a group effort between the tiny Worker Ants, however if the Ants simply scurry, willy, nilly all about, and don't follow the trails, they may end up lost like I did, or worse, they may find, one day..the Hill has a large can hanging over it, with the word RAID printed in big red letters. 

Thursday, 1 January 2015

Life In The New Year

 So, I started a couple of spews yesterday, at the end of 2014, trying to put down something cute and provoking. But, nothing would flow. Decided to begin the New Year off, doing what I enjoy most...nothing and eating. Oh, and of course, drinking coffee. Ahhh...if I can be blessed enough to continue this throughout the year, life will be pretty good.
  However, as I sat, and drank, and ate, I figured I had best take the remaining Christmas stuff down, and pack it away. The only things left were the lights in the window, and the job just took moments. As I wrapped the last set of lights up, and put them down, I was struck by the knowledge that they would be put away for another year. Almost 355 days will pass, before they will be hauled out again. Will I haul them out, myself? Or will events during this time occur, that cause these decorations to sit, never to be put up again? I am not feeling morbid, I simply realize that so very much can happen, between the beginning of a year, and the end of it. Nothing is safe and secure, life is, indeed, precious.
  Those things we keep telling ourselves are important, money, homes, jobs, they mean nothing when life ends. I suppose this feeling of dread, is because, somewhere in this world, today, right this moment, parents, children, friends, are feeling the pain of the loss of loved ones. I know that just moments into this New Year, people  up the road from my warm and cozy home, lost their lives. I doubt I know them, but, that doesn't make the pain I feel any less. I know that each of these people were connected to families, who probably sat about their own cozy homes last night, watching the old year pass, and welcoming the New in, only to have their year begin with devastating news, that will change their lives forever.
  Birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas and, of course, the bright and shining clean and unsullied New Year, all times for celebration All chock full of meaning and tradition, and most of all, family and friends. Not a single one of these times are enjoyed while alone. They are times to be together with those you love, and hold dear.
  Many years ago, I had a Christmas that was difficult, the Christmas we realized was my Mother's last. Because of timing, my parents were in Vancouver at the hospital on Christmas Day. My brother and I decided we would wait until she was able to come home, to celebrate Christmas. In our hearts, the 25th, was NOT set in stone, Christmas was the date we could all be together.
 The big New Years count downs, well, haven't been a part of those for many years. My honey and I try to ensure we speak on the phone, as one year fades into the next, just our way of being together, because usually he is in camp on this night. I no longer feel that anticipation, waiting for the magic of a clean slate, because, reality is, the bills continue, life moves along as it wishes, and the important things, remain the same..or so I hope.
  I have my own New Year wishes, sure I would love to win the lotto, but that is a dream, not really a wish.(just had to put that in, just in case)
  The wishes, well, I wish those families, who today are burdened with grief, find the strength to bear the pain, I wish that this time, next year, all of my family and friends are happy and healthy, and I am able to share  the special times with them. I wish people did not have to suffer.
  I find myself , suddenly thinking beyond my own tiny world, beyond my worries, and hopes. I am a very lucky woman, I have a wonderful partner, my children all seem to care about me, I have amazing friends, but, today, all I can think of, are those families who will begin the year with tears and sorrow. My heart goes out to them, and all those who are in pain. I think this comes with age, it comes with understanding, time is not always kind, nor gentle, time, as they say, waits for no man. The New Year is simply a date, it is a single moment, in time. We have made it special, in our minds, but, in truth, we cannot control the important things in life, we can only hope we get to keep them for another year.
  So, today, and tomorrow, and all of the days I am gifted (because they are truly gifts) , I wish to let all of those people (and of course my puppies)who are the important "things" in my life, know, I am so very thankful for each one of you. I hope that this time, next year, I am able to tell you all again,when I wish for yet another year.
  May the New Year bring Joy, Health, and the ability to share time with what is truly important!