Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Sunday, 26 August 2012


First, again, let me say, I am not a prude!!Then let me also state, I do not give one crap whether my employer gets $15 for an extra guest in a room! Now, let me explain the proper etiquette of having sleepovers in your hotel room....
 If you want your honey, girlfriend, hooker, whatever, to spend an evening sharing your room that is listed as one person only...be subtle. Don't go off to work, leaving Honey Boo Boo snoozing in your bed, for the housekeepers to whip open the door on. Get the woman to get out of bed the same time as you, and make herself scarce. Come on, if she doesn't want to hide out, simply slip the Do Not Disturb sign on the door.There is nothing more annoying (O.K. maybe some things) then to have little Missy, lift her bed head up, crawl out of bed to head outside for whatever time she feels is necessary, so the biddies can whip in, make up the bed, clean her hair out of the tub, wipe her makeup off the furniture, pick up her soaking wet towels, and basically rush through for someone who isn't even suppose to be in the building. Honest to goodness, I bet I could count on one hand how many girlfriends have showed up, that actually do not add extra work for us. I keep thinking about the times when I have gone with my honey, and he has left me (yep, we book in as a couple) in the room. That sign goes on immediately. I may wander out in the hallway when I know the staff is cleaning rooms, and hand them the towels, so I can have fresh ones, but generally I will just hang the ones from the previous night (they dry, and unless I had a mud bath, can be used a second time).
  This past few days has seen an amazing collection of extras. Rooms that have 2 people in, suddenly needing 6 towels, folks who don't have a room, wandering in the linen room to help themselves to towels. Women opening doors to offer us the opportunity to "come on in, and do what you normally do"....Huh????Oh yes, Sweetie, why don't you just sit there on the couch, and watch us make your bed, and kick your undies out of the way as we vacuum. Good Gosh, were they brought up watching their mothers clean? I just can't figure this out. I realize the boyfriend is paying for the room, however, he is paying for a single. Why not save yourself the extra charge, and be nice to the housekeepers. We won't tell the office they best be charging more money, if you simply ask for towels.
  It has gotten so bad, that one unit that has two beds, is now used by at least 6 people, not including children. HOLA!!! To be truthful, sleepovers are not something adults do with other adults, unless, of course they are either intimate, or perhaps kinky. O.K. maybe camping.....or a family reunion or something like that. But, really, how many times since college has anyone rented a hotel room to have all their friends pack in to party? We don't have any Penthouses, or Jacuzzi suites...In truth our establishment is the last place I would invite my friends to party in.Funny thing, they are not partying. just a close knit group of friends, maybe?Or perhaps a large group of homeless folk?
  So guys (yes, it is only guys that have the surprise visitors) if you want your Sweetums to get a free stay, explain the fact that she will have to make your bed (or not) and manage somehow with the 2 sets of towels already hanging. Then as you go out the door, leaving sleeping beauty resting for your return, simply place the DND sign on your door. She will slumber without interruption. The old biddies may whisper that you have a guest, but, they will not go blabbering to the office costing you a small fee for the use of both sides of the bed.

Friday, 24 August 2012

Restoralax your Damp Qi!

So....It appears my recent blogs have been, "Boring"....Too bad, so sad,truth is, my life is just that, boring...No excitement, no exotic travels, exotic escapades . no exotic anything, just plain ordinary. Therefore, if someone is looking for titillation, best look elsewhere.
  That being said, I expect the title of this blog, may get some quivering. Sounds pretty interesting, eh? Well, it is something I have been wanting to write about for some time, but it is also something that is difficult to actually put down in words, that describe the experience clearly to others.
   My long time co-worker and I have built a pretty good relationship. I think I have delved into that in past blogs. We are almost like an old married couple, often our minds just seem to go directly to the exact same place, as insane as it may be, and we are in the "zone" Most times, we become almost hysterical, little speaking, single words will set us off, this was the case with Restoralax.
  We had some slow time in the hotel, and stupid us, we agreed to paint one of the large outlying units. Keep in mind, it was the middle of winter, with temps of -30 and added blizzard winds. We were given two ginormous buckets of paint. Stuff that has been banned now, by the government, because the fumes are potent. So, here you have, 2 old biddies, on ladders, painting a full sized 2 bedroom apartment, with oil based paint. The fumes were intense. We attempted opening the door, but the frigid wind dropped the temperature in the place within minutes, can't paint with winter coveralls and mittens...That wasn't an option, we had to deal with the fumes. After about 3 hours, we were taking breaks when we felt ourselves about to fall off the ladder, with dizziness. We had the TV turned on to keep us awake, and sure enough, during one break, the commercial for this amazing product comes on. It was Restoralax!! From what our addled brains surmised, this stuff cured absolutely everything. Got a blister. use restoralax, constipated, used restoralax. This stuff could save the world!!! Buzzed out of our minds, we only had to say the one word, and we would be rolling on the floor. I have to admit, Restoralax made that day of painting totally enjoyable. We were worn to the bone, totally zooed on paint fumes, and aching from laughter. I suppose others may not understand, but to this day, if one of us is feeling a little down, the other simply has to say that magical word, and a smile will appear.
  So, now you wonder, what does this have to do with Damp Qi's. Hold on, explanation on it's way.
Our hotel was recently filled with Chinese. Now, as I mentioned, no exotic travels in my world, but, when your workplace is taken over by a whole different culture, you will get a taste of life in another country. I think it is pretty neat to see a bottle of Head and Shoulder's shampoo, looking exactly the same, except everything is written in Chinese. They have their toiletries with characters, not letters as we know them. The food was something totally new, and not stuff you tend to get on your plate at the local Chinese restaurant.
  When they all moved out, we went in to strip the rooms, and clean out what they had left. In one room we discovered yet another miracle drug. This is something named, Huoxiang Zhengqi Pian!!! Hey, not a clue how to pronounce this one. What this wonderful drug does is: Relieves exterior syndromes and remove dampness. Regulate Qi and harmonize the function of the spleen and stomach. You use it for headaches, lassitude, aversion to cold, fever, distention and distress in the chest, nausea,vomiting, diarrhea and flatulence caused by exdogenous dampness, wind and cold and due to asrointestinal dysfuction.
  Come on!! Imagine a group of 5 females of various ages, reading these directions, and not busting a gut laughing. The two words which apparently stuck out of all this were dampness and Qi. It is incredible how all of us found something exotic about this medication. Sad to say, I admit, it was the two oldest that got this headed into something dirty, but the younger ones were quick to follow. Hey, we don't need magazines with pictures of naked folks to get our minds in the gutter, just hand us something that claims to fix your Qi and flatulence, and we are on a roll. Add some dampness, and distress, with a dollop of distention, and you have complete smut and perversion.
  So, if anyone out there is suffering from a damp Qi, or farts an awful lot (perhaps you simply have damp wind?)try Restoralax first, and if that doesn't work, pick yourself up some Huoxiang Zhengoi Pian!!!

Monday, 20 August 2012

Smiles and Smiles of Capers

Started this yesterday, on an upbeat, but didn't finish. Really want to write something positive, and will continue on this tangent, however, I must admit, it only takes a second in my workplace, to wipe any resemblance of a smile from my face...
  So, onto the smiles of Capers. Sounds a little fishy? Well, they likely do fish, and surely like fish, and come from an area there are plenty of fish...but they are not fish. I am talking about folks that hail from Cape Breton. Oh Lordy, (as they may say) what a group. It only take a few of these exceptional folks to totally brighten the most boring day. Their accents are musical, much like the Welsh, or...those from the Southern States, just a simple sentence can make the corners of your mouth twitch. They could be telling you the floor is caving in, and with that lilt, it sounds like something you should laugh at.
  I expect I can't group all the Capers into one cubby, there are likely some who are just as miserable as myself, but...none that I have had the "pleasure" to meet. These at our hotel, are delightfully blunt, but somehow they can put a spin on the honesty, that one cannot be offended. Just stating facts, and not with a mean spirit. It appears they have decided to live every single day with a positive outlook. It is difficult to believe that they are completely across the other side of the country from their loved ones. I am sure they feel that empty hole when they have a moment to themselves, but...on the outside, they fill the air with laughter and music.
  You all know how I hate my place of work, the shabbiness, the smells, the mistreatment, the unfairness, and total lack of consideration, but...on the day that the Capers have off work, the place seems brighter, and although it still stinks to high heaven, it is almost unnoticeable.
  That's all it takes, a group of a few happy folks, and everyone working seems to catch the "wave". Now, not all this group are Capers, however, for the most part, they are a pretty decent group. There are a bunch of young men, about the same age as my son, these I have a soft spot for. I think of their Mothers, in other provinces, wondering about their boys. They do get the one day off, but, in truth, they must work them pretty hard, because they haven't manage to make any nasty messes, some like the young man that is so polite, are actually neat as a pin.
  Now their day off, is actually my favourite day to work. Most of them try and sleep late (or perhaps have passed out) and we get away with not having to do every single room. Oh we have tons to keep us busy, but, it is one day a week, when we can actually stop running, and simply listen to the sounds of people  having a good time. Something not often heard within these walls.
  We tend to dread large groups that descend upon us all at once, and usually for good reason. This time, though, they have actually given us something totally unexpected, and that is the opportunity for a smile and a laugh. For this, I say, Thank you!!

Thursday, 16 August 2012

One Nighters/Hide-a-Beds

Good morning, all. Yep, last day off, and I am up with the birdies. What the heck is wrong with me? Every single morning I crawl out of bed for work, I wish I could just go back to sleep, and dream of the days off, when I can snooze long past 6:30 AM, here it is, and I am up before usual. I suppose it is because I don't have to spend the day somewhere I hate, and actually look forwards to my day. I do, however, wish I could get a couple of extra hours under the covers.
  Now, to get this off my chest before we go onto the chosen subject. I realized last night, as I posted about the "pet" area, that I might offend some of those who actually work in the area. Before you get your knickers in a twist, I understand that some (one) of you folks has been working your butt off for months, without days off. FYI, DB, this was NOT directed at you,LOL.
 Onto the One nighter business. I hate one nighters!!! For some reason, Nurse Ratchet's favourite saying when we go in for an extreme day of weeklies and strips is..."oh, don't worry, the strips were one nighters".
  In the perfect world these 1N(one nighters) would be a cinch. In the perfect world, they would have been someone so tired of driving, they simply stop, get a room, sleep, and then continue on in the morning, leaving a bed, and perhaps shower to clean. Hah!!! It doesn't always work that way. I swear some times, a room is rented , a sign is posted outside the door, inviting every single guest to enter, and party hardy. These 1N can take a whole afternoon to muck out. Of course they are always priorities, which means they are already rented again, and must be done. The last 1N was a suite. My buddy got rich with the beer returns! Every surface was covered in cans and ashes, the sink was full of dishes, cripes, they even hauled out the toaster, leaving a mound of crumbs, and crusts. Every towel used, a pillow missing, garbage can filled to the rim, and floors sticky.
  Hellooo!!I can explain to the office that the room is a disaster, but, it just doesn't fizz. They have no concept of how much work has to go into a strip like this. Oh, plus, this room had a hide-a-bed.
   To those folks who check into a room like this, please simply leave the bed out when you exit. We cleaning folks, hate hide-a-beds, and especially hate having to open them up to check to see if they were used. I am not sure, in the nice new modern day hotels with these contraptions, perhaps things are easier. In our hotel, opening the bed means having to rearrange the whole room. We have to lift wobbly tables, slide ginormous TV's , move chairs into another area, simply to allow us to open the bed. If it is clean, the rearranging goes in reverse. If it has been used, moans will escape. To make these things is an acrobatic feat. Many are so close to the wall, and older permanent airconditioner/heaters, that to put the sheets on, means a person must actually climb onto the bed to put the bedding on. Personally, I think we should employ a very tiny person, simply to make the hide-a-beds, likely an anorexic because even my skinny buddy cannot fit between the walls and these beds! On the coldest day, in January, these work up a sweat, imagine what it is like on those sweltering days of August, when the airconditioners are not to be used by staff?
  In truth, those who work here, suggest that anyone sharing a room with a hide-a-bed, you would be far more comfortable simply sleeping on the couch. We have seen guys take the mattress off and place it on the floor for long term stays. If you pull it out, you are basically paying to be tortured.
  I will admit, many times the 1N are easy peazy, nothing I love more than to enter a room and find the bed used, and nothing else. But, I have learned opening a door on 1N rooms, can be a nasty shock, and wish that Nurse Ratchet would lay off thinking she can read how messy a guest is, simply by the time she spends filling out their information. No one knows who a person really is, except the cleaning staff. I watch Hoarders, Buried alive...just because someone is neatly dressed, doesn't mean they can't manage to make a total pig sty in one night.

Wednesday, 15 August 2012


Whoa...bet that perked a few of you up,lol. Well, sorry to rain on your parade, but the addiction, is my blog spot. Here I sit, day off, actually accomplishing something resembling housework, and this nagging voice in the back of my head, pushing me to stop that instantly, and go on-line. Oh, I fought it, in truth, I would be off work if I was at the paying job, so, not too guilty to blabber away now.
  Today, I think, is a day to speak of drama. Yes, it overfloweth  (if that isn't a proper word, it should be)at my place of employment. I am pretty much sick and tired of the same old same old. It does not revolve around the whole business, simply one section. Because this section appears to be the center of my employer's universe, all energy is doled out to that area. I can honestly say, the energy is not doing a damn thing to fix stuff, but it pours into the area, leaving all other sections bare of concern.
  I will tell you how bad this lack of concern is...We have basically ran out of certain linens, stuff you cannot do without. It is so bad (how bad is it?) that we must run around stripping beds and pillows, throwing it immediately in to be washed, and then dried, to put it back on the same beds. Yep, nothing extra, no big pile of stuff to work with. We informed the employer months ago, and an order was to be placed. When questioned on the expected arrival date about 10 days ago, we were told the order had been forgotten. An apology was given, however, sorry does not make a bed!! How could this important matter have been neglected, well, simply because the employers mind was on her "pet" section, and all other matters cease to exist.
  We work very hard to keep drama out of our area. There is far too much work to be done, that energy cannot be wasted on crapola. However, because we have managed to keep our work place running, as efficiently as possible, the employer has simply put her blinders on when it comes to housekeeping. She is informed when we are drastically short staffed, but ignores the fact, and continues to fill rooms day after day. We mistakenly drive all those who dare to show up, to complete all tasks, even thought they are daunting. Each day the employer sits in the office, assured they will have all empty rooms available at the end. We tried to explain that the day will come when this doesn't happen, but...Now the boss is able to concentrate on the really important stuff, happening in the core of her world. Nope, no drama in Housekeeping, therefore, obviously that job is not something she must even think about. Goodness, they are running out of linen, well set that aside, and deal with something dramatic, because linen shortage is boring!
  I think, we have gone about all this the wrong way. Years back, Nurse Ratchet told us we were never to go to the office! Yep, she was the one and only person who had access to that door, and communication with the boss was forbidden to us lowly individuals. Now she no longer works in our area, but she is a part of the forbidden area. We have just got into the habit of staying away as much as possible, because that is where the blackness comes from. If we had started this with a whole lot of drama, moaning and groaning, and threatening to quit, and stomping our tiny little feet (O.K. big clodhoppers) we might very well have become important. Our drama would have interested the boss, maybe we could have shared all our personal business with her, making her feel motherly towards us. Instead, we simply go in, get our long list of work, do the job, and leave...boring...We are just ordinary employees, who can apparently manage without supplies, or raises, or bonuses, just the odd "Sorry" maybe a "Thank you" just before a slap on the hand because of a complaint.
  We have warned about the dreaded short staffing. It has reared it's head every so often lately, but the enormity of this is about to blow very soon. We will soon have a ton of linen, and no one to work with it. Wonder how dramatic we can be when this occurs? I am gearing myself up, I refuse to come to tears over this (and I admit, I have been driven to tears through over work at this place) I really don't want to become verbally abusive, not quite ready to become unemployed, and lacking in the drama department. So, here we have yet another coming attraction to Bizarro world. Let's hope that this universe starts to tilt just a little , before all that is left, is the tiny little gum ball in the center of it.

Sunday, 12 August 2012

Pay Back

So....Do you ever feel that when you take a "holiday" from work, somehow you use up all the rest after only a few days, or even, the first day? I swear, the moment I walk in the door, feeling pretty chipper, and clear minded, all h-ll breaks loose, and I am right back to the state I was in before the break. Something is very wrong with that. Why does a person have to pay back for taking a break? Oh, I know, part of that pay back is because all those others who worked while I was relaxing, now need to relax as well. This system is broken! Honestly I have worked 5 days, and now feel I deserve 10 days off, hey, not only do I deserve them, I desperately need them!
  I spent a full week, getting rid of that nasty back ball of pain, that comes with making a hundred million beds a day. I attempted to whisk the nasty smell out of my life, it was wonderful waking up to smell the cedars, instead of the rotting plywood (hey, I even enjoy the smell of rotting cedars). With my sinus area cleansed and the tennis ball of ache gone, I was all ready to slowly make my way back into the real world. Hah!
  The reality hit me instantly. The humungous fan blowing from under the building was the first eye opener, and the smell of cedars was a thing of the past. Then the book, full of room changes, and little notes of to-do's. Then the short staff issue. The first bed I went to make, the wheel falls off the frame, and I am left lifting a queen sized box spring and mattress with my shoulder to attach the wheel. Bingo..you guessed it, the ball of pain returned. Day one had me attach yet another frame wheel. I walked about 10 miles back and forth from buildings to grab items. No air conditioning allowed for the cleaning staff, those are expensive to run, and are for guest use only....Oh, and Ms. do not disturb for 6 days, suddenly decided that the day we were strapped for staff, was the day she was ready to bless me with entrance to her room, to do the full clean.....Not a pleasant experience.
  I know there are folks out there, that truly enjoy their jobs. Hey, maybe even some that can't wait to go back after vacation (could happen!). I am not one of those. .
  So, now I sit, professional single handed bed frame wheel attacher, trying to ignore the expanding tennis ball of pain, and ready to hit the shower to clean that smell of who knows what, off my person.
  I am counting the days till I can take that next holiday, and trying not to wonder what the pay back will be this time.

Friday, 10 August 2012

Thank You!!!

Hellllooo, everyone, I am back!!! I am absolutely touched and amazed at how many people have mentioned they missed my blog. I understand, most of them live here, and life is so boring, even my nattering is exciting. Pretty sad, eh? My goodness, my life is so damn boring, it often makes me sleepy, I can't imagine  living vicariously through me,it is heart wrenching, but I do appreciate you faithful, bored few.
  The grey matter is brimming to overflow with useless garbage. I can't quite figure out exactly what to write, so, I will use this space to tell you a few tidbits from my trip to the past.
  First a thank you to those who worked very hard to organize the big event.Second, a big fat booger to those who promised to be there, and didn't show. Hola, there was a bloody 6 foot cake!!! Bet there was 4 feet of it still sitting at the finish. Food coming out the ying yang, so much food that I didn't feel an inkling of guilt loading up my plate, more than enough for the whole darn town to fill up, for a couple of days.
  The one problem, someone didn't think that old folks need light to see, heehee. Actually, it was fun to peer around and not look nosy. I found staring at the buffet tables was the best way to recognize some of the "old" faces. I will say, one of the worst moments is when you recognize someone, and they don't recognize you...yikes, guess I am not simply an older version of me. Or, maybe I was so quiet and shy growing up, that they don't remember me?
  I enjoyed spending time with my "babysitter". How many of you can say at 56, you rekindled a tie with the person who watched you when you were too young to be left alone? Saddest part, she looks younger than me!!!
  Some faces I had not seen in 30 or more years, and it was wonderful, getting a message from one sent by my Grade 7 teacher along with a hug, was amazing. This woman was the one and only teacher who told me I had a gift for writing, and also, gave me straight A's, lol. She is one of my unforgettable people, and to be remembered by her was very special. See, I am not so bad after all!
  Those who have remained in my hometown, are faces I look forwards to, each trip. To have friends who have know you since you peed in the culverts, means you don't have to pretend. They have seen me standing in green slime catching polliwogs, and heard my mother (and I heard theirs) call all 3 of my names, first, middle and last, in that tone only Mothers have. They remember that special person, Bill Mike Moe. They remember garden raiding (only carrots and peas)together. They watched our little town boom and bust over and over again, and although they have traveled through time on their own roads, we can have hours of conversation, beginning with "remember when". I was lucky enough to spend time with my friend who has a laugh that once it starts, you have to join in.
  All in all, I know it is 2012, and for the most part, I have to live life in the present. But, the past without the bad, and sad bits, is a wonderful place to spend some time.For those who hold that ability to take me back to the good old days, I thank you!!!