Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Saturday, 22 September 2012

F#$king Crackerjack Prizes!!!

O.K. I have been negligent with my blogging...forgive me. I had a holiday, and today was my first day back after 11 away. I went back far too soon, in fact, I wonder if I should have gone back at all. I am totally fed up with my job!!
  I spent my whole holiday out in the bush. I crawled over fallen  Spruce trees, Cedars,and Pine trees, that were as big around as a small car. I crawled under these trees, and flopped over top of them to slide off the other side, I tripped over roots, and fell in the moss. I hiked up sheer cliffs, to lean against a solitary tree, just so I could stand up straight. I walked an average of 15 miles a day, and not in a straight line. Each night I would fall asleep worn to the bone, but, feeling healthy. Fresh air, the smell of the trees, and the forest, peace and quiet, it was all good.
  Today I go back to my job. I spend the first while doing laundry, and a few rooms, then it appears as though with a full work load, there will only be myself and my daughter. Stress kicks in, and suddenly I am faced with specific things that HAVE to be done. I am overwhelmed, the 11 days away have just been sucked right out of me. I am tired before the day begins. Could it get any worse? Yep, you bet cha!
  I have the sheer pleasure of dealing with someone's Crackerjack prize! I am calling them this,. because, I know, the little package at the bottom of the bag, appears to be something worth waiting for. It might even be shiny..But, in truth, it is always a piece of junk!!Well, folks, please don't get all offended, but, from my perspective, all those snot bags that follow their beloved, or their present "piece of Tail" (and I am being blunt) are without fail, ignorant, lazy, needy, b*tches!!!
  Let's say  today's was worse than usual, as apparently before I went on holidays, this prize had not arrived yet. Her "Honey" assured the office she was an experienced housekeeper, and if we exchanged the two single beds in his 2 bit room for a double, which had to be hauled over from 4 blocks away..she would arrive and be happy to join our staff. Hah!!! Today I show up at her room, she informs me that she just needs a minute in her washroom...does her deed, sprays some air freshener...goes outside plops in a chair, douses herself in tanning lotion, plugs in her head phones, and I have the pleasure of going in her room to clean up 10 days of mess, make up her nice clean bed, scrub her nasty toilet, as she suns herself. Hellloooo...I can see she is not a Sports Illustrated swim suit specimen, not going to turn any heads when she walks into a room, so.....what on earth has given her the mindset that she is superior? Guess her honey must be blindly in love and has convinced her that she is beyond normal...a real prize.
  Really, this is not the only one. I have to say that of the 4 women that are sharing rooms with their sweet peas, I wouldn't give a wooden nickel for any of them. Am I weird? If I was stuck in a room all day, with nothing but Jerry Springer and Oprah to entertain me, I would have the bed neatly made, and every surface shiny clean, just to combat boredom. They go nowhere, just sit hour after hour in the rooms, WTF???No big Cook book spread out, and gourmet meals on the go, just dusting their butts waiting for Mr. Wonderful to arrive back, 12-14 hours after they leave.
  Worse yet, they seem to feel that they can pick and choose when someone should drop everything to enter their rooms. Yep, they want to snooze till long after lunch, and then suddenly whip open their doors, and call the lowly toilet scrubber over, to inform them that their rooms desperately need cleaning, because no one has seen fit to vacuum for a whole week.....Huh, kind of hard to do stuff like that when the CrackerJack princess is getting her forty winks.
  I know, none of you are in this establishment, so you are unable to give the warning signal. I am about ready to blow up, strangely enough, I am not alone. I can say that at least 2 others are getting very close to me on this thin ledge. I wonder if I will blow at management, or if I will simply smash one of the Crackerjack prizes. I think I should invest in a T-Shirt with one of those things like the Forest Fire Hazard signs have, you know, "Extreme Pressure,Use Caution...Moderate Pressure...." Guess that would be the only two warnings, as each day starts with moderate, and that seldom takes long to build to extreme. If I can control myself, I might not even be the first to explode. Do I feel any sense of satisfaction that I am no longer the only one who is on the verge of spewing? No, in fact I am so very upset. It has become so impossible to do this job properly, for even the most patient person I know.
  The Cuckoo has finally landed. Bizarro world is all powerful! Nurse Ratchet rules! The nest is full of shiny junk, and my toilet scrubbing wand has lost it's magic. My prize at the bottom of the Crackerjack box was a big lump of doodoo. Time to rethink, and regroup. Tired of the poop, time to get something nice and shiny, too!