Ahhh. I suppose I am getting a little ahead of things, but..I have the time, and the urge, so here goes my Christmas musings.
I am getting old! That much I have had to accept. My bones ache, I have lost the ability to open simple things like jars, or, sometimes even doors! My hair is dull, my skin has dried, I can not longer see as well as yesterday. I hit the hay long before the rest of the world, and crawl out of bed at an ungodly hour, all because my body has changed it's whole routine.
Unlike my parents, I do like much of today's music..so...that is a bonus,LOL. I don't care if folks now, want to show their underwear, although I still cannot understand why...I don't care if others in my age group refuse to accept they look their age, and perhaps should tone things down a little. I don't care if Joe Blow likes green hair, and bones in his nose, hey, that's his choice. Sure I might cringe a little, because I have always hated even having a resistant booger stuck in my nose, so a bone, well, I just imagine it would be irritating..but..if he wants it, his decision, it doesn't affect me! See, if something doesn't have bearing on my life, well, fine and dandy..
I now work pretty steady (for this I am somewhat grateful). My days consist of the same routine, over and over, but, in truth, it could be worse. I could be all alone, I could have fallen through the cracks, run into something really dreadful, and be on the streets, without the simple things in life. I know that those living that life, at one time were not lost.
As I have mentioned many times, I don't participate in much of a social life, but....I did once! I lived a pretty excellent childhood, and entered into an amazing relationship, and although times right now, may not be the best, and I may not feel 100% every day, I have something that, thankfully, I can enjoy, any time the mood hits me. I have Memories!
At this time of year, those flash back on a constant basis. Just a few days ago, someone put a post on (of course) Facebook, about rewinding and pausing a time way back in the past. Bam..Butterscotch pie!! My Mom was a magnificent baker. We had lemon pies, raisin pies, (yucky mincemeat pies) French meat pies, apple strudel, jellyrolls, and...my ultimate favourite, Butterscotch. I grabbed my Mom's recipe book, turned to the right page, and made my own pie. I admit, it did not look like my Mom's, but...when I licked the spoon, I groaned...I savoured that taste, it was a taste from my childhood, what a wonderful thing! So although I also admit, I ate the whole damn pie..that taste was filled with emotions. To cry while eating pie..who would have thought? But that I did, because, those days of Mom's pies have been gone forever, and I miss them desperately. However, she left that, something I can replicate, just a little, and bring back a teeny tiny piece of time gone by.
I do a lot of stuff as Christmas draws near, to remember the past. Although, unlike my Mom, I am not a great baker, there are certain things I must bake..well two things..Shortbread cookies, and butter tarts..Christmas is not complete without those two things. I know darn well my kids will remember these, because they are expected. I try to always have a Christmas candle, because, again, my Mom always had one of those sitting on the window ledge over the kitchen sink, usually one with the Nativity scene on it, flickering away. She would make her turkey stuffing with the giblets, now, I am sure some folks feel raisins and walnuts make for a better addition, not in my house! Stuffing without the giblets is unacceptable, and anything else foreign is not happening! That is tradition, and I am confident, I have now managed to pass this on, to my own kids. Funny, memories are tapped through all senses.
Songs, Christmas songs, can take me to snowy evenings, in the little Church across the road. Two wonderful missionary women, handing out bags of Christmas candy and Japanese oranges, as we leave near midnight, on Christmas eve. Me jealous, because all my German and Austrian friends going home from church, will be opening their gifts, and I have to wait until the morning. I think I put up with this for a year or two, and then appealed to my Mom, and was granted the ability to open one gift after church. Oh, the gifts would be handed to my little brother and I, and....I don't understand how she managed it (LOL) they would always be new Pajamas! Yep, we always had a nice new pair of PJ's in all the Christmas morning pictures. PJ's were also, strangely enough, the gift my kids got to open the night before.
The year I got my two wheel bike. I am sure there must have been easily 6 feet of snow on the ground, but that things was wheeled down the front steps, out onto the road, and I painfully made my way to the end of the block. I don't think I pedaled because I had no clue how to ride, but I took the thing out. Naomi Blokker somehow taught me how to ride long before winter was over!
One year, my Mom bought me about 4 wigs..You know that ad in the comics and papers, along with the one for the Sea Monkeys, of all these amazing wigs for some incredible price? Yep, that's what I asked for, that's what I got. O.K. some years I made some pretty stupid requests, and that was definitely one of them! I never once wore one of those things out in public, but, I got what I asked for.
Now in my house, we don't dress up for Christmas, but back then, we did, because the house would be filled with company. My Mom would put on her plaid skirt and grouse pin, with her Ross Tartan sash, my brother and I would be duded up, him in his cowboy shirt, and his own rope tie dealie, me in my dress and white leotards (about the only time I wore white), and even the dog would have one of those sticky red bows on her, and we were set for the best day of the year. It was, the best!
I am not saying every Christmas day, as a kid, was wonderful, because I have a few that were not so great, but those I try and set aside, don't want to remember them, there is no need..over the years, I would far rather leave the remaining room, for those times that I hope will remain with me, to bring smiles, and fond tears, and the knowledge that those I loved, are still close by, and I can bring them closer with a Butterscotch pie, or the scent of lavender, old spice, and the sounds of Away in the Manger, or the flicker of a candle.
So, I wish all a Very Merry Christmas, and hope that each and everyone of you enjoys spending the time with those who may not be seen, but are only a memory away.
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