Just recently, a friend mentioned that I had stopped writing blogs about funny stuff. I understood what she was saying, and it gave me pause, to figure out what has happened to that side of me. I will say, I enjoyed telling those tidbits of hotel trivia, and I hope some of the stories have enlightened those who spend time in hotels. The whole idea, when I started was to ensure some of that stuff was not forgotten, some of those characters I wrote about were so unique, they had to be shared, so those of us who encountered them, never forgot.
Perhaps it is because we don't get very many characters now? Most of our guests are hardworking guys, who just don't do things that make one shake their head. I am sure the time will come, when we get a real winner again, but, they have been few and far between, lately.
I really don't think it is the lack of characters that has caused me to fixate on the gloomier side of life, I think it is more likely, life has battered me with far too much crapola the past few years, and I have become even more jaded, and find it harder to put a humorous spin to things. No, my life is not devoid of smiles and laughter. I do enjoy moments with people who, like me, can let their guard down, and just go to a place that a single word, "Guano", or..a series of words "ooooooooh..ever cute" can send all of us into peels of laughter. I love those moments, they allow all the stress, and anxiety to disappear, and my body to relax,to simply live for the moment. I am not so foolish that I don't understand, everyone else needs those moments as badly as I do. We share the desperation to forget all that drags along with us, day after day, and embrace the opportunity to focus on fun.
See, I admit, I am a bit of a loner. Not much of a social butterfly, and extremely picky about those who I let into my space. I also admit, I have to work hard to be happy, it is something that comes naturally to very few people, and I am certainly not a natural optimist. Most of the time, having fun, takes at least two, cripes, I guess, in truth, all of the time, well, at least for me. I can lose myself in a good book, and belt out some laughter when I read something that tickles my funny bone, there are a few shows that have the ability to make me listen to myself chuckle, and I have to say, it is almost eerie, to laugh all alone.
Fun, is not a single pass-time. Oh, we can say we had "fun" spending the day in the garden, or "fun" reading a book, but..truthfully it isn't fun, it is pleasure, not quite the same thing. Fun is something that needs company, that can mean people or pets, but, not me, myself and I. So, yes, I enjoy the pleasures of life. My pleasures in life are,my dogs, books. Lays potato chips, coffee and....(whisper) nicotine...Those are my pleasures now, because the reality of life has required everyone else to leave, and I now spend most of my time, outside work, alone.
I think that is probably why I have changed my writing. I spend so much time alone, and most of that time is quiet, so my thoughts are always on what events caused me to be placed in the position of living a single life, when I am not single. I wonder why, now that I am heading into the "golden" years, my honey is off, 1/2 a day away from me, and neither one of us enjoys this fact. I spend hours and days, and weeks, trying to figure out what we did wrong, and how long are we going to have to continue this. I wonder if I will continue on the hamster wheel of life, spinning around in the same circle, wake up, go to work, come home, eat, go to bed, with only the dogs for company, and the moments of social interaction between toilet scrubbing. This living apart is not something new to us, we did it many times over the years, but back then, our kids were young, and aside from a lack of adult socializing, I was not totally alone. This time, things are different, and to think it hasn't affected me mentally, would be foolish.
So...after much thought, I guess this is the answer I have, for the change in my blog. I don't have to work near enough to try and be nice, or funny, because my dogs are pretty accepting, and my job consists of being by myself, most of the time.
I will say, I appreciate those few times, that I get to laugh, and I realize I am luckier than some, because there are still some, who laugh with me! Thanks guys!!!