Funny, you read how life is a cycle, but often you are too wrapped up in your own little world, you don't really notice how obvious that cycle is.
This year, I have one niece graduating High School, one nephew graduating Culinary College, 2 nephews getting married, and one niece having a baby. Each and every one of these "children" I can remember as brand new babies. Oh, for sure, they will always be grouped in the kid section in my world, because...I am now old. I am so old I have a 15 year old Grand daughter!! Geez, next year that girl will be sitting behind the wheel of a car, and..it seems like only yesterday she was sitting in a baby seat.
The cycle of my life has changed. I have graduated (believe it or not, 41 years ago, or is it 42!) I have married, I have had children, my children have graduated, one has married and had children, so I am whipping around that circle pretty darn fast.
Wow! Just think about it....I somehow managed to do all of that, I stressed out more than once, for each and every moment these children still have to face. Hah! All those years of worry, and yelling, and crying, and struggling..and, I survived. What the heck did I worry so much about? All of that was not so bad.
Now I have come to a place in life where I can sit and think about each and every one of the "children" in my life, family and "adopted family" (because I have been lucky enough to have some extra's added to my life). I can now look back and remember all the good stuff, all the things these children did that made me laugh. I remember a ton of stuff, they don't..because they were too young, and it passed them by, it wasn't a moment for them, it was simply gone. They all had moments that stay with me..I suppose that is part of what my place in the cycle is all about now. I hold the memories that they don't remember.
Oh, it is a bit of a power trip, being in this place. I can take each and every one of them back to when they wore diapers, and I can embarrass all of them. In truth, I remember folks telling stories of what I was like when I was young..certainly wasn't the classiest kid on the block..perhaps I felt a smidgen of embarrassment, but in truth, I was a little thrilled. I don't remember who I was when I was little. I was too busy growing up. Oh, I remember things that seemed important to me, but, I didn't know me, as others saw me. I didn't remember the neighbourhood calling me "Lady Godiva", because those moments passed me by.
My job, is to be the keeper of the past. I have memories of projectile vomiting into jackets, "maybe pee..Aunty Debbie", Bunny toes, children shoved out of the way in hallways because of Lizards, that is my place in the circle.
I have the power to make those who feel they are all grown up, become a child in a moment. I have this power with my own children, but, I have the same with each and every one who has passed through my life. I have been blessed with a pretty decent memory, one that allows me to see pieces of the past vividly, to remember those who I have met along the way that found a place in my heart.
I have worries and hurt, that sometimes fill my world, but...if I take the time, and remember where I have been, and how much living I have done, I can understand, I have come to a wonderful place in the cycle of life, I am the keeper of the past!