I have been feeling guilty. Don't think that I haven't realized that even my ranting has disappeared. Not only sitting down and blogging, has become a thing of the past, my e-mails to my beloved friends has trickled to nothing. I wake up, go into work, come home, and then I am ready for bed. I explained my serious case of Cabin Fever, but, it is apparent, that is not my only problem. Spring has arrived, and I have a day of yard work under my belt, and still...I am an empty shell.
Years ago, my beloved took a B.C. Ambulance Unit Chief course. I remember one of the chapters was on the 10 things that caused serious stress. I can't remember all 10 things, but loss of spouse, loss of a family member, moving, and loss of a job were on that list.
Well, in the past few months, my Ex passed away (unlike some, he truly was a friend as well as the father to my oldest child). Then my beloved changed jobs. That didn't work, so now he is changing back. When you think your home life is going to become easier, and suddenly, it isn't, and then you have to make a switch in everything you do, it causes upheaval.
Then, I am one of those who has Site C, on my mind at all times. Years back, I didn't think much about it, because I really didn't think it would affect me. Silly Goose!!! Perhaps you will come to some understanding of why I have such a Hate on for this corporation, because, in truth, although I do not work for them, they have taken control of my life.
See, when we came to this town, we could not find a place to rent with 3 bedrooms. We had a two bedroom trailer at first, but with 2 teenagers, and our Son-In-Law staying while he found work, it was cramped. We bought a trailer, it was perfectly fine, space wise, and affordable. You have to keep in mind, we also had to continue paying the mortgage on our home in the town we left, because the housing market was (and still is) in the toilet.
Then one day, I saw the home I thought was perfect. It was at the edge of town, the yard was full of trees, and it was like it sat all alone. I could see that it was on the river front, and I knew, if we could ever get that house, I would be happy.
The moment I saw the For Sale sign up in the Post office, with the picture of that dream house, I could not let go. We scrimped, and saved, and got the loan to buy the house. Oh, we still had the trailer mortgage and the other house, but, hey, I could work like an idiot, my beloved could work like an idiot, we could give up every moment of social life, we could eat Kraft dinner, and, we could enter our own private garden of tranquility.
That is what my home gives me. Not the house, but the back yard. I can walk out onto my deck, and see the Peace River. Oh, if I want, I can see the other side, where there is someone, but, my eyes are old, and all I know of him, is, he sometimes yells when his dogs bark. There is a gravel road that leads down to the old Ferry Landing directly below my backyard, so if I fall off the edge, I will simply roll down to that road, and not into the river below it. When I sit on the little bench at the edge of my yard, I see nothing but the river, and the birds. It allows me to forget about the weight of the world. I can sit there for some time, with a cup of coffee, and it gives me the same sense I assume folks get from fishing, or golfing, tension disappears, and I am simply in the moment.
I remember the day we took ownership, standing outside with our friends, and one said, you paid fair price for the house, but, you got a million dollar view. That is something I thought would never change. Yes, Site C could raise the level of the river, but because we were so high above it, we would not be affected.
That has all changed. Hydro has decided that they must build a Berm to protect the shoreline from the effects of Site C. That Berm will go for miles, and it will go all along the shoreline below my home. Oh, they informed us it wouldn't affect us, because the Berm would go on the opposite side of the little road. We accepted that, until we received the materials covering the project. It will, in fact, go on the opposite side of the road, but...that road will become the main haul road for the building of the berm. This project will take about 2-3 years. They will have to do serious construction work on the road before large trucks can use it. It has been constructed with old car heaps to stabilize it,and, that isn't going to take the continual rumbling trucks for years, going from 7AM till 7PM. My backyard is not very large, the vibrations of these trucks will definitely cause damage. The noise, and dust, and chance that this road will have to be built up, far closer to my backyard, will definitely affect me.
Now Hydro and their GREEN shit, will come into my world, and destroy the only thing that keeps me sane.I see the peace and contentment I get from my space, which I worked hard for, going down the toilet. I hear they try to mitigate damages for some people affected by this proposed project. What could they give me to mitigate the damage they will cause my life? Is there another home along the river that offers the same privacy I have here? Nope!! There are some homes in a long row, that overlook the river, but, you have neighbours, with backyards along side yours. Mine is different!! We have the odd group that may party down at the Ferry Landing, and we do hear them up here, but, that is easy to ignore. Traffic does go up and down the road when folks are fishing, but it is not a steady stream, and in the winter, there is no traffic at all, because the road is blocked off.
You hear about Green Belts, big buying pros, folks are ensured nothing will go on in the back yard, ever!! Well, we thought the Peace River was our Green Belt, no one is going to build in the river, are they? Hell , yes they are!! Hydro is going to do whatever they damn well please, to get that frigging project on the go. If they can't keep a project as small as a boat launch within budget, imagine miles and miles of Berm, and then everything else this Dam is going to demand.One of their ideas to get the rip rap needed for the Berm is to level off part of a mountain!!! Talk about footprints, eh!
Did we ever think our world would revolve around a company that came into a small historic town, and split it into Hydro and non-Hydro? We lived in a town we felt like immigrants for years, because we did not belong to the majority. We were not welcomed into the Hydro world, but, that was O.K. who needed it? I was never a good one for brown-nosing (pardon the pun), so I lived happily in my back yard. I felt superior, because I had this, and I enjoyed sharing it with my friends. It was a small bit of heaven that I owned.
When I went to do my first day of yard work, yesterday, and paused to sit on my little bench and watch and listen to the wonderful Geese that finally returned, the impact of what may soon happen to my backyard hit me. I will admit, I cried. If Hydro does indeed step into my world, and destroy the single thing I have found, that gives me reason to stay in this godforsaken place, I will have to leave. It is as simple as that. I will have to give up my employment, I will have to go back to where we last lived, my beloved will have to continue working in the Peace, my grandchildren will be too far away to visit,and , my world will be devastated.
So, do I accept hearing how my Hydro rates have to go up, and how we are in desperate need of more Hydro electricity (for all those Greenies to plug their environmentally cars in) ? Do I accept that Hydro electricity is the Green solution? Not for a moment!!! In the Peace we have natural gas, we have wind energy that is incredible. Hydro claims it is not reliable, Helllooooo.. well how many folks in this area have had to spend hours in -40 weather without Hydro? Truth be told, I think between all the different forms of energy we have, we can focus on all of them, and perhaps save ourselves the destruction this project promises.
So for those of you who wonder why I have been so quiet, my tiny little world is being hammered away at, and I am having a hard enough time just coping with everything swirling about. I do miss you, and I hope that this will stop, but I have to focus on protecting my little piece of heaven, and battling the ginormous Hydroidasaur.