Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Thursday, 21 January 2016

Forgotten in The Archives of My Mind

Wow..Long title,eh? Funny, it's been a very long time since I wrote about what originally started all of this. You know, hotel etiquette and all...Strange how it took so many turns, and ended up a chowder of many things. Oh well, my take is, it does me good to sit and put this crapola down, I haven't been sent to jail yet, and if I am on the radar of the terrorism police, well..first of..save your time and effort, I am too old and too tired to do diddly beyond tap at the keyboard, second, although you may think different, I have never been accused of resorting to violence(and I raised 3 kids). There, that's covered, just in case...
 So, again, this blogging has taken me to a place I never expected, and all because I wanted to ensure some of the strange and unusual stories from my line of work, didn't disappear. You know..at the beginning, all I wanted was to open up a link of some sorts, so toilet scrubbers from all over the world, could send in their incredible guest stories. Imagine how much fun that would be? I work in a very small town, I bet those folks cleaning the big Casino hotels, and penthouse luxury rooms have seen things I couldn't imagine. But, apparently I am not a tech geek, and my limited knowledge on how to get things our into the vastness of the world wide web (yep, I do know what www. means) never got things off the ground, so you are stuck with what has transpired. Since I sometimes feel just a little guilty, because hotels seldom enter into my writings lately..I was privy to a moment of joint recollection the other day, so..here is a little hotel happening for a treat..For all I know, I already wrote about this, but if not..here it is..
  So....many years ago, we had a full crew staying with us. I think they were pipeliners. Now, don't get me wrong, I have met some pretty awesome hard working pipeliners, in fact, once upon a time, I even rented my own home to a group of 5, best renters ever..But, like every other group, there are some turds(yep, I am leading up to things slowly).
  This particular group stayed in one of our outlying properties. This property is made up of large units, with 2 separate nice sized bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room, dining room, and a bathroom. If one is stuck staying away from home for long periods, this is a far nicer place to stay than a small hotel room. So, these guys basically had an apartment, with daily cleaning service. Now, after many years of cleaning up after guests, I can sort of tell what kind of person someone is, sometimes, I can tell their age, and their appearance, just by cleaning up after them. Because someone drinks a lot, doesn't mean they are drunks, but..the way they drink, tells me an awful lot. When I find empties scattered all about, well, not empty, but partially empty, when I find the tabs thrown about all over the rooms, when I find cans beside the toilet, or in the shower, and cigarette ashes on the bathroom floor, in the sink, not flushed in the toilet, or..yes..this happens all the time..ashes in the clean bathtub, beside the toilet..I generally have a pretty good idea what these people are like..
  That's who these people were. So, doesn't matter, we are hired to clean, and everyone gets the same service, even if we want to leave them a note telling them to throw their garbage in the can provided. Now, these units are probably almost, if not as old as I am. They have been well used, can't imagine the number of guests that have sat on those toilets, or climbed into the tubs, some of which are the originals. After decades of use, even the good old bathtubs will lose their finish, especially when day after day, they are cleaned with chemicals. One tub, in particular was really bad. We had requested it be replaced for years, but...although it was black, in spots, grey in others, scratched to rat sh*t, it did the job. That bathtub, believe it or not, was probably the cleanest tub in town, because every time that unit was stripped, the person doing the job, would scrub forever, unsure if they were scrubbing at the old stain, or something new..honestly we even went so far as to use toilet bowl cleaner to attempt to make it white again, to no avail.I am wondering if when we used the toilet bowl cleaner, if we were sensing the future..
  So, about a week after cleaning up for these two gentlemen (and I use that term loosely) our maintenance man had to go around to check on the toilets in these units. He headed off to this job first thing in the morning, around 7:30. The workers went to work at 7, so he knew everything would be empty. He went into this particular one, now..keep in mind, this man has been doing his job, at this hotel for decades..he has seen some of the stuff we have, but only because we find it first, and if it is beyond our capability, we have to haul him in to assist. So, he is standing by the toilet, about to check the workings out, and sniffs..something is a tad off..oh, here is another tidbit, he is the first to admit, his sniffer isn't the best, often when we insist there is a smell, his nose refuses to pick up the stink. But..this time, he has no doubt..nothing in the toilet, but, now it is clear, it smells like sh*t!! Nothing on the floor, but lordie it is real close by..and then he turns to glance to his left, and there it is!!!!
  The drunken pig, appears to have been offended by the stained bathtub..he didn't use it to shower, oh no..his little pinkies were not about to step foot on that nasty surface..his body was not about to touch such a disgusting piece of porcelain, nope..instead he sat on the edge of the tub, and took a great big stinking crap! There it sat, big as life, and twice as stinky. Really..remember, he was not alone in this place, he shared this with another guy, only one bathroom.....
  Now sometimes when we find something gross, done by one of our guests, we, as housekeepers have to plug our noses and deal with it, and trust me, there have been a lot of nose plug situations, this time, was different. This was found by someone who was not responsible for cleaning, someone who went directly to the employer, and explained what he had found. We got the heads up before even commencing our day, and we jointly decided we were not going to pick up this dog's poop. This time, our employer called the guest, and....after questioning why he did something so gross,and that he would be responsible for cleaning it up, she was informed he didn't do it, someone must have broke into this room, after himself and his buddy left, and done the deed! He was NOT going to clean up a strange poop!  Well, since maintenance was up there 1/2 an hour after he had left, someone would have really had to be quick..we knew he did it, so..for the one and only time, since I have worked at this job, the bathroom door was shut, the remaining housekeeping was done, and the deposit was left in the tub.
  The next morning, the offending offering had been removed. Clearly the owner was found, perhaps it was the other guest? We will never know the answer to the mystery of the bathtub pooh. The tub was cleaned, and showers were taken afterwards. That was the single feces in a tub event we have had, the tub has since been replaced, but there is another one looking much the same..I hope I am long gone, before someone sits down on the edge of that one, and empties their bowels...
  It's a pretty sh*tty job, being a toilet bowl scrubber..pardon the pun....