Now, I have my suspicions of why my buddy gets herself into uncomfortable positions, more than any of the rest of us. She is the one I mentioned will ignore a Do NOT Disturb, if it is left on a door too long. She is also the one who will start off early in the morning, on a day when we semi- know that guys have the day off, knocking and opening doors. She is the one who will whip a door open and trudge upstairs in the large out lying units, checking closed doors. Therefore, she is also the one who has seen more buck naked bodies, caught more folks sitting on the throne,and actually caught folks in the midst of romance. She has no fear of opening a door. Myself, I knock, I listen, I knock, and then I creak the door open very slowly. Yes, I have caught a glimpse of legs and the occasional bum, but, nothing like my buddy.
I have mentioned the crackerjack prize before. This is the one who plopped herself outside on a chair, allowing me to enter and clean up her room. She has been camped out in her little cave of a room forever. We HATE her!!! She has rearranged her tiny hole (pardon the pun) so she can lay in her bed, facing the TV. This room does not have a kitchen, so she has been living without a sink for months. The dishes are dumped into the bath tub, and cooking is done in a frying pan. The room is a dust ball. When we do get in, we have to skim a coating off everything. The toilet is a mess, the sink is disgusting, coated in makeup, and hair. I suppose when your only job is to be at the beck and call of your "man" you have plenty of time to coat yourself in makeup, to cover a body that apparently does not bathe. Really...one day, we used a full bottle of febreeze to cover the BO long enough to clean. Hummm...you would think she would at least shave her legs, and clean and polish her assets, if she is simply there for"romance", not this chickie, she is gross!!
So, my beloved friend sets off to clean the room next to these lovebirds. Oh lordie, she enters the adjoining room just as they are in the middle of nookie. Yuck, puke, and gag...the walls are paper thin, and every single sound stings her ear drums. Yeeew..the whole problem is, we have cleaned after her, we have seen them, the imagination is not needed for the visual that goes along with the sounds. Hey, again, not a prude, I imagine cooped up in that shabby room, there is little more to do besides TV, totally understandable, but....because we HATE her, and because she is filth, and because my buddy hears "Did THAT feel good" it was just too much. We feel so sorry for the poor fellow that has been staying in the next room, he must hear this many nights, as he lays in his tiny single bed, next to the cardboard wall. I told my friend, it was a good thing I wasn't with her, as I would have simply answered the feel good question with a snide comment. She held back the vomit, and left the building, feeling dirty.
I am aware that these folks are adults, and sex is natural and enjoyable, however, now we have to enter the rooms on either side, with a fear that they will be breeding yet again. I suppose we can begin carrying around ear plugs, but the damage is done. Like someone I know used to say, we will all have to kill a puppy just to get this horrid picture out of our minds.
If she had been spending her time, cleaning up her stink, making things nice for her man to come home to, having the dishes cleaned and out of the bath tub, even if she had a ring around the tub from bathing, it would not have been so horrifying to have the sound effects. I have a difficult time walking into the nasty, smelly hovel, gloving up and making that bed, my imagination just goes into overdrive. I do NOT ever, ever want to know what it was he asking "felt good", I think he may very well have had a hot wash cloth, and soap, and was cleaning her from top to bottom...Hey...that's what I want to imagine, and so that IS what was happening!!!
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