Today, once again, I will be writing something beyond hotel stuff. I had a very difficult night, sleep did not want to come, as thoughts of families suffering unimaginable grief would not leave my head.
Yes, I am writing about the horror that occurred yesterday at the Sandy Hook school.I just can't seem to wrap my brain around how something like this is possible. I understand I can't possibly come up with a reason, as things like this do not have any reason, no matter what. They may have idiotic "explanations", but, there is still no reason. No where in the world is there a reason for young children to suffer and die. Children, no matter whether you are Christian or not, are innocents. They are small creatures, who are simply growing and learning how to survive in the world.
The thought that kept going through my head was, in history, parents have had to hug their young adult children as they went off to war. They knew when they said goodbye to their child, they may never see them again, because they were going into battle. They suffered not hearing from their child, they suffered knowing they were in a war, and could very likely be killed. This was a terrible knowledge, but, they had this when they parted. I certainly do not condone war, never have, never will, but this is a fact of life as we live it, and I have always felt sorrow watching a parent part with a child in the military.
Now, growing up, I absolutely hated school! Oh, I loved recess, and I loved spare class, and I really loved the 3 o'clock bell. I hated school, because each day, as I trudged off, I worried that I might fail a test, get a detention, have to stand in the corner, or...even worse, in my days, get the strap. Those were the horrors I was concerned about back in the 60's and 70's. Cripes, back then I would also not sleep, perhaps I had some homework that I didn't finish..in all the time I spent laying in bed, I could just have easily spent 15 minutes and finished the stuff, but that wasn't my nature. Then I would have a stomach ache first thing in the morning, worried about the punishment I would receive when I had to hand the sorry piece of work in. Yes, I used to stress about school, maybe I hated my clothes, and worried that someone might say something about my mismatched colours (I have never been a fashion statement), maybe my hair looked stupid, maybe I would screw up in P.E. and someone would laugh. Tough life, eh?
Who would ever have imagined that, simply going to school was walking into a battlefield? The idea is just too incredible.
The wish of most parents is to provide an education so their child can go places when they finish school. We want them to do better than ourselves, we want their lives to be just that little bit easier than ours was. We attempt to provide our children with things we wish our parents gave us. We often go without so that our children can at least be a step behind the Jones's. Our goal is to make them fit in, so they can perhaps take a farther step, and excel, without concerns that they don't have everything the next kid has.
I tried to raise my children with the idea that they could do anything they wanted when they grew up. In that, they understood, their parents would be willing to do what had to be done to allow them to pick their dream, and help them follow it. That promise came with small print. In our home, they followed my rules. Oh, they often did not do their chores, but, that came with punishment, maybe just my ranting at them non-stop, but there were consequences. Some of my children had mouths on them (chips off the old block) those mouths would often get them punished as well.
I did fight a battle that my parents never had. If I messed up in school, I came home to be punished. There was a direct line from the school Principal, to my home. To mess up in my day, meant double trouble. Yes, there was the strap, it was used in school, and at home, I never got it at school, but believe me, I got it many times at home! My parents could not take toys away from me to punish me, but they could(and it seldom happened) take my blessed reading away, and that would have destroyed my world.
With my children, the connection was pretty faint. I would always have to call, when I heard my kids speaking about trouble they had, getting sent to the office, or things that seemed off the cuff. Then it would be candy coated when I spoke with the Principal. I would see the results only on report card day, and then it was often too late. It was almost like the school felt they had the upper hand.
To punish my children, well, my hands were tied much tighten than those of my parents. Corporal punishment is a no no. It messes children up!!! Hollering at your children is abuse!! It can cause low self esteem. Glaring at them is abuse, again, low self esteem. Quiet time was the thing that came out when I was raising my children. Helloooo..there was none of that in my house! Maybe when everyone was sleeping, but, when they screwed up, times were anything but quiet. They made a mistake, and they were damn well going to pay for it, so next time, they thought twice about doing it again. Yep, all my kids got a spanking. And, yes, they were given when, I as a parent, felt it was warranted. Why? Because I was the grown up, and no matter what the government or school says, I did know better! Did I beat them, no. Were they frightened of me?I don't think if you asked them today, they would say they were afraid of their Mother, except when they screwed up. Isn't that how things should be? Did my kids feel fear to come to me with things they were unsure if they had done wrong? Funny, they had the common sense to realize, they would not be punished if they asked my opinion. I was always willing to state my thoughts, and would not lash out and spank them for wanting to know how I felt. I will still give them my opinion today, even though they are all grown, and they do still call to ask. I hope that I have given them the knowledge that when they screw up, they will have to pay, somehow. I do not bail them out, and never have. I never got bailed out of a mess I made growing up, I always had to suffer the consequences, because mistakes do not go away.
For this young man to do what he did, is becoming NOT uncommon. It is still shocking, and the question instantly is why? Like I said, I don't have the answer to the why.
I have my personal opinion (as usual) and sadly I think the blame is on my generation. I think we messed up really badly, and now we are suffering the terrible consequences. We have raised a society that no longer is punished. Quiet time is not working. Young criminals go into youth houses. This allows them to enjoy a nice warm homey place, with no work, and the ability to sit about and meet with other teens, who perhaps have a few pointers to give, so when they come out of this "punishment" they are able to use this information to continue farther into their life of crime. All this is only if they actually get to court. Their names are protected, we can't possibly abuse these young people by letting the public know they screwed up! We used to say they just got a slap on the wrist for doing something bad. Hah! Can't do that, they are protected, can't spank their butts, that is abuse.
We have simply placed bubble wrap on all the wrongs, so they continue to the point where their mistakes become destructive to others. Why should they stop? There is always someone who will come up with some excuse for the behaviour they commit. Their parents were abusive, they didn't get to socialize, they were poor, they had a single parent home,they were bullied, they were molested, it is always something.
Is there any excuse for what happened yesterday? Not in my mind!! Is this the punishment we are receiving for all our mistakes? Lord Love us!! I cannot possibly imagine a higher price to pay for Societies errors. To lose so many possibilities for our world, all at once. To tear so many families into tiny pieces, and place life long sorrow on so many, as well as the world.
This person was not from another country, he did not set out to destroy an enemy. He festered in the same town, in the same schools, in the same neighbourhood. He grew up with the same rules, the same education, the same media. He is a home grown monster, crafted by our way of life. No fear of consequences, no morals, no ethics, no thought of others. He obviously felt his rights were above all others.
Now a child heading off to school has so many fears I did not. Imagine, going into a building to learn, wondering if someone is going to walk in the doors, and kill you. I can't imagine a parent today, having to part with their tiny little child, for the few hours, wondering if they will see them alive again. My heart is aching for the sorrow these families are suffering. We have to find a way to put a stop to this. Perhaps this is the end of the world as we know it? I certainly do not know this world, it is not the one I grew up in.