Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

If it's Yellow, let it Mellow

I can remember the first time I read that. My oldest (32) brought a paper home from elementary school, informing us, as a family, how to be environmentally friendly. Kiss my big fat bum!!! I am sorry, I do not accept others leaving their yellow mellowing in the toilet, until ,unsuspecting me, comes along, in a huge hurry to piddle (always a hurry), sit down, begin the procedure, and have someone's mellowing urine splash back up to hit my buttocks.
  When I grew up, I was taught to flush (yes, we HAD flush toilets then). In fact, if I had not taken the time to do so, I would be punished. Suddenly, as usual, everything I managed to actually retain in my itty bitty memory bank, has become redundant. I feel sorry for kids now, when I was learning, it was so easy, all of it went down the toilet immediately. Then some bright A$$ decided that only Brown went down. Yep, I know that if I went into a public washroom, and found a toilet filled to the rim, with only yellow, I would certainly say to myself" That is so wonderful, everyone is saving the environment"! Then sit down with my butt cheeks soaking in something very mellow, and add my bit for a greener (Yellower?) world.
  When people come out with this crap (flush brown down) they drive me batty. There are a million things folks can do that will make far more of an impact on the green side of things, peeing just is not one to spend a whole whack of time and money on.
  Now, that said, I suspect we have a real Green Peacer staying at the hotel. Why would I suspect this, you ask? Well, today my buddy went off to clean one of the town houses. These have large groups of men staying in their own bedrooms. The rooms are sparsely furnished, a night table lamp, and a plastic (yikes) garbage can with a plastic (yikes) bag in it. Oh, yeah, they have a bed, too. So today, was the weekly, floors washed, dusting, and clean bedding. Over the years, we have become very proficient at removing the bags from the garbage, they are quickly whipped out as we dust, with the other hand. Today, we learned a lesson...Do not assume that all bags contain only garbage. This person was obviously a Mellow expert. He had peed in the garbage bag!!! Hellloooo..Only about 30 steps away is a flush toilet, there is a second toilet in the basement. I can understand a 9 month pregnant woman perhaps not being able to make those 30 steps, or a 3 year old child, but...a grown middle aged man???
  I suppose the one thing about my job is, you are always learning. I remember my Mom working as a school janitor in an elementary school. She had one kid who insisted on using the metal garbage can in the boy's washroom to pee. That was annoying, and the kid was caught and requested to use the proper facilities. Do you think this might be that kid, all grown up, and still environmentally friendly?