MentalPause

Work is very slow! Got myself a clump of days off, and don't have a whole whack of housework hanging over my head. My beloved is home, but he is sleeping. So, here I sit. Yes, a million thoughts rattling about, what do I send off into the internet universe today? Oh Lord, why is this stupid thing, the one that rises to the top? How the heck do I put this down in words that will not make me look totally insane?
  Humm...guess there really are no words that won't do that, simply because, this matter apparently does cause some insanity, therefore the title. Along with mind issues, it brings along a whole shitload of other problems, stuff which, I suppose I will spew to the whole world today. Perhaps it is the reason I have started this blog, and why I always seem to be in such a nasty foul mood? Maybe this is my excuse for becoming the sharp tongued, evil, old b*tch that I am?  I used to think I was me, just because I had honed my negative for so many decades (which is likely to blame for most of this) but, hey, could be a medical issue. Maybe I am entitled to some sort of disability pension? I am thinking, might just be time to look into this, maybe the government would be best to pay me to stay out of the public?
  I am talking about Menopause, which I fondly call Mentalpause. Back in the day, I heard folks speak about someone going through the "Change", or she is in the "Change of life". F*ck, with all the movies floating about, now, if you said someone was going through the "Change" they would instantly think "Twilight" and think Jane Doe has been bitten by a Vampire, and will turn into a wolf. Geez, not a bad analogy!
  Most of the time, change can be good. I have to tell you, this one isn't!! It sucks the ginormous Jahoogie!!Every nasty thing that occurs daily, in my life, according to my buddy, can be traced back to...Mentalpause!!
  Temperature change! This is the very first pleasure of this "Change" I experienced. WTF!! I would crawl into bed, fall immediately asleep, and about 2 hours later, I would wake up in a sweat. It wasn't just a tad warm, it was boiling hot! Blankets off, pajamas off, feet onto the cold floor, please,please, don't let me catch on fire!!! Poof!!! body sensors back on track, freezing cold! Try and go back to sleep after this. Nope, doesn't happen instantly, got to lay there watching the clock. This extremely lovely experience can go on every 2 hours a night. Makes for a nasty sleep, and, in turn, a nasty person in the morning.Oh, it's not limited to just bedtime, it can occur during a nice drive. I become like a dog, one moment, everything is tickity boo, the next my jacket is off, the window is open, and I have my head out in the freezing cold, trying to cool down. This is not just in my head, I can pour sweat in the middle of winter, usually just on my forehead, but cripes, what a bizarre experience. I had hoped this was perhaps a year long activity, but, thanks to others who have been here longer than myself, it is something I can look forwards to for a very long time, wheeee...
  Brain freezes! Yep, for awhile I thought it was just because I had far too much shoved in my tiny little brain, that things would get jumbled up. Just yesterday, my honey asked me if I might have an aneurysm. Why? Because I picked up two salads in the store and informed him I got him a kraft and a mayonaisse. In truth, I had placed a potato salad, and a macaroni salad in the cart. My mind just twisted things around, and these were the words that came out. Things just tend to get muddled, but, they appear totally clear to me. Yes, I still have to backtrack many times, when I open the fridge, and can't remember why, when I go to put dirty dishes into the oven, instead of the dishwasher. All this, can be attributed to the "Change". I call it mental pause, because of all the things it has brought to my life, screwing with my thought process, is one of the most annoying.
  The next thing that is just about as annoying, is, hair!! Oh, I have been luckier than some, my head of hair has not thinned out to a fine down, thank goodness!! But, the damn stuff has decided it can't make up it's mind where the H-ll it is suppose to grow. For some insane reason, it has picked my face to sprout up on!! I will look in the mirror (occasionally) and pluck those little suckers out, then, that night, I will accidently lift my head at the mirror again, only to see a frigging beard! No, I am not trying to be like my favourite TV show, and join the Duck Dynasty boys, I am mortified! It's like dandelions in a yard. I just can't stop the stuff. I tried the waxing, Hah! my skin is too sensitive, end up with a big red rash, instead of hair, like a flashing light to tell the world I have just had facial hair ripped from my body. My honey suggested I purchase a No No so I can zap the crap off. I have decided for my own personal peace of mind, I am going to do just that. Sick of fur growing in my wrinkles!!
  My beloved claims he has not noticed any mood swings, he actually states, he figures I have been menopausal since the day we met. I suppose I am lucky in that respect. It seems some women just go bonkers, I was just lucky enough to be off the wall, all along. But, I personally notice that I am far more short tempered. I feel that my people skills have totally disappeared. If I don't like you (and trust me, I don't like a very large majority) then I can't be bothered, and the line that stops me from actually saying this, has become very, very thin. Fair warning, tread softly around me, because, at any moment, I may crack.
  I won't get into the more personal aspects of this nasty "time of life" (that's another saying I used to hear). All, I can say, is, if you haven't got to this lovely stage of life, don't be foolish like I was, and think it is going to be great. It isn't . Once again, I have lost control, not only is my life out of own hands, my body has a mind of it's own, and I can't do a damn thing about it.