Well, thanks goodness for friends, who see me from the outside. Today, I learned something new about myself. O.K. maybe it isn't new, maybe I knew it all the time, but, I didn't think it was so obvious. I have a control issue!!
Now, I know, I can't control all the things in life. Certainly not the 2 standbys, death and taxes. I can't control fate, Karma, (well, actually, in truth, shouldn't I be able to control that?) or other people. But, I take responsibility for specific things, that I do feel I have control of. I could be way skinnier, but I gave up control of my food intake, long ago. I could be far smarter, but I chose not to dedicate myself to homework, when I should have. I could have far less wrinkles, if I had controlled myself, and used lotion decades earlier, rather than have the extra coffee. I could have far more money, if I didn't spend as much. Those are things I didn't do, but I have only myself to blame, so, Hey, I deal with them!
I am fine and dandy, until something rears it's nasty head, and I lose control. Then I get mad, and I start to fight. I refuse to have something that I did not plan for, pop up, and screw my life up.
I know, life has a way of screwing with a person. Cripes, I have been screwed out of plans, more than the average idiot. Most of the time, I can figure out what I did wrong, and then I have myself to blame for. But...there have been times, and usually the worst of times, when, I could never have foreseen what came down the road, and smacked me right upside of my head. I am not unrealistic, I know I can't control an accident, either. Those upset me, but, having spent as much time living, as I have, I understand, accidents happen. I might get mad about that, but, I have learned to live with that fact.
The facts I can't live with, are those man-made. You know, those caused by AHoles who decide to invade your private space. Those with heads so big, they shouldn't fit through doorways. Those who never, ever travel alone, but move in packs. Those who have their own rules, and agendas, and , worst of all, those who think they know it all!!
Come on, you all have folks like that in your lives. Some allow them, because, perhaps they benefit in ways they feel balance things out. Maybe that is part of my problem. Maybe I am too proud, to even consider balancing things? I just see black and white!! If I could wobble into a gray area, suck up my personal issues, I might come out of crap, with a little something in my pocket (likely sh*t).
I live in a democracy(that's a tad questionable). I can't refuse to allow government to control me. Reaching my adult life, I always made a point of voting. I did not do so blindly, I did it each time, with the feeling that my candidate was offering what I thought was right. The past few times, have been different. I have lost faith, and I have lost a party that offers what I think would be best.
I didn't even vote in the local election, this time around. I should have voted for the Mayor, but, lucky for me, the one person I intended to place a vote for got in. The rest, I felt, was a waste of time and energy, therefore, I saved the fuel, and stayed home. Whoa, bet some of you folks reading this, are surprised, I would have voted for the Mayor. Yep!! Not because she stands for everything I felt right, but, because she stands for the biggest issue I am concerned about, so....See, I am flexible. Things do not have to be perfect, so, actually, I do balance, sometimes.
Now we get to the crux of the matter. Next month, folks will decide what will happen with my life. Yes, I will vote this time around, not for any old party, but for an independent. How sad is that? Not a single party stands for what I think is right!! You know what? That independent will be elected. I predict, he gets in, with a landslide. So, I am not alone. It is blatantly obvious, our government does not even consider a huge area of our province.
The area I live, is only important for revenue, and energy. The Holier than thous up at the top (passing time till they get ginormous pensions) can sit in their sky high offices, and inform the rest of the world that my piece of the province is simply worth filling up with water, and flushing down the drain! Oh, and don't worry, all the oil and gas revenue, will continue to pour into Victoria, so they can ensure the flowers look pretty, and the politicians can flit about, opening useless hospital extensions. Perhaps greet a ton of temporary miners. Or maybe fly over and visit with the out sourced workers in another country, maybe check up on banking matters while they are there!
Does any of what I say, ring a bell? Am I alone in my disgust with government? It is broken so badly, it lost it's ears, it's morals, and worst of all, it's common sense!! It paid for a Bollywood celebration. The reasoning to spend 11 million dollars to set up a party for another country, was.....the city of Vancouver might (and check that word,might) make 13 million dollars?? WTF do I care about the frigging city of Vancouver????Really, folks, I had to suck things up with the Olympics..oooohhhh, going to be great to advertise B.C. Come on..I see a flood of tourists lining up to spend money in this area. Oh, I forgot, the Liberal plan was to flood this region, so silly, we don't need tourists!!
In my mind (using a small portion of common sense) why can't our government give the Film industry the tax breaks they have been crying for, and.....all those folks who go to movies, will see B.C. and they will come, and they will spend money...Do you think I am off the wall? Hummm...maybe Christy can suck 2 million out of that?
I have been ranting about Site C, and that looms over my head like a sword. The Liberals claim without this, the rest of the province won't get the big cash revenues from LNG. Our province won't get money for energy we are shipping to China, unless we spend 10's (and I do think this project will cost, not 10, but 10's) of billions of dollars to flood the Peace, to build a dam, to allow liquid natural gas to provide energy to another country!!
LNG is not green enough for our province, you say. Well, so it will be used in another country, the emissions will float into the air of China, Helloooo...why the Hell is that O.K., and using our own LNG here is not? This makes our government the worlds biggest, frigging Hypocrites!! I don't give a rats ass if we sell China LNG, go right ahead, we need money, and we need to ensure regulations, and consultation. But, if we are going to reap the benefit of LNG, why can't we use it, to provide the energy needed? Honest, I am just speaking what appears to be common sense!
I see I am losing control. Even typing is becoming noisy. Just spend a few moments to stew with some of what bashes about in my brain. Perhaps you can understand why I am the maddest human being on the planet.