Whoa, hold onto your hats kiddies, this is number two in the same day!! I was just sitting here, gambling money that isn't real on the slots (I am suppose to be cleaning), and suddenly this little tidbit pops into my head. You must remember, there is a huge clutter of crapola buried under the Dam business, and I guess this just struggled to the surface, as I was losing.
I am the mother to , 3 children, girl,boy, girl. Now, I imagine if the numbers were reversed, perhaps, life would be different, but, they aren't, so this is it.
My daughters have whined for years, I treat my son differently (I expect "better") than them. My Honey has admitted he sees it. I, personally have tried to treat them all with the same affection, and I do hope they realize it would hurt just as much to lose one, in my mind, that is what I base all of them on..
So, I think I figured it out (while playing slots). I am lucky enough to have this forum to spit it all out, and hope that all my children read it, and sort of understand what I think is going on.
I grew up in a household, in which I was the oldest (girl) with a single brother, years younger than myself.I imagine the years I was a lone child, I was spoiled, but the memories are very faint, and I never really asked my mother about those years. Oh, there are pictures, mostly of myself and my mother, two girls dressed up, and smiling. I have a tiny memory of going visiting with my Mom, and sitting as she played cards with a very old fellow, Bill Jenkins (why I remember his name, is beyond me). But, it is just a specific time frame, the rest is blank.
I remember we (my brother and I) were treated very differently. I always got the speel, "you are the oldest, and it is up to you to be an example", "You are the oldest, and you should know better", "you are the oldest, and you should not hit your brother back", "You are the oldest, and you should let your brother play with you". On and on and on. Being the oldest sucked!!
I didn't think it had anything at all to do with my sex, however....fast forward into Teen age years. Me: "why can't I stay out past 10, you let him stay out?" Mother: "It's different, he is a boy, you are a girl". Helllooooo???? Me: "Why is he allowed to go to the poolhall, I wasn't allowed to?" Mother: "He is a boy, he can't get into trouble like girls can". Me: "Do I have a University savings fund"? Mother: "No, we only got one for your brother, because your Dad feels, girls waste higher education". Hellloooo????
So, it was apparent. I WAS different, because I WAS female. I think mothers have not changed much throughout history. Maybe the changes are happening now, much faster, and soon, things will be totally different, but, my generation was the same as my Mother's, and her Mothers, and so on and so on. Women are far different from men. You can go way back, Men always formed groups, off they went to fight battles, surrounded by hundreds of fellow men. What happened to the women? They were left alone with the family, to somehow manage to survive. Men supplied money, perhaps, back in the day, and a home, but women fought alone to keep their children alive. Women may be found in groups, but, in truth, this was only for the formative years. When they settled into a relationship, and began having children, they did it on their own.
We watched our Mothers, they cooked, they cleaned, and they were the ones who fixed our owies. They made sure we made it up in time for school, they made sure we had clothes to wear. If we woke up in the middle of the night sick, they were the ones to sit and ensure we didn't die of fever, or toothaches. They could fix most things (maybe not bike chains) and would grant you the favours like sleep overs, or birthday parties. They were capable of doing all things, and asked for nothing, but respect.
My Mother was not a hugger, or in fact a lovey person. But, boy she was tough! She did yard work, she painted the house, she did plumbing, and hauled a wringer washer in and out of the back porch. I remember one time, helping my Mother haul an old claw tub out of our bathroom and into the back yard, she could do anything!!
So, what does this have to do with treating my daughters different than my son? It is simply because, I assume my daughters will follow the same path as I did. They will dig inside, and find that female genetic marker that gives them the ability to survive, without help. That special thing that we females have that allows us to manage almost anything. I imagine my daughters have this , like all the strong women in the history of the world. I feel they are as capable as I am, and therefore, I suppose, I do treat them differently. I don't do this because I care less for them than their brother, I do it because like me, they are Women, and therefore, I feel they have the ability to be able to do all things (like housework, and cooking, and maybe even bike chains).
My son, well, he doesn't have that special something, guys just need a little more assistance. One of my daughters is married, she has 2 boys, and I KNOW she understands exactly what I am saying, because.....I can see she treats her daughter just a little bit differently than the boys. Daughters really are, ready for independence, the moment they realize their capabilities!
We are Women, hear us Roar!!!