Alrighty, I know, when am I not pi**ed? Those *'s are really s's, you know, just in case you were confused. I am really very tired of feeling this way. Seems the past 6 years, I have been in this frame of mind on a continual basis. Was I this frigging miserable when I was young? Nope, I think the pi**ed periods were much shorter back them, what the heck has changed?
I have passed the rug rat stage. Kids are just fluttering around, and , although they are still looking for the real good stuff that I hide, when they are hungry, I don't have to deal with their boredom and arguments, any longer. The dog is pretty low maintenance, extremely happy to get a pat and a marrow bone. My honey has been with me long enough to understand and follow the signals (when he chooses), and I have almost learned to read his mind.
So, in truth, I should have mellowed. WTF happened? I find myself progressively getting pissed daily. Some piss'es (is that proper grammar?)are short lived, some just seem to drag on forever. Honestly, the one and only theory is, my job!!!
I am beginning to wonder if I go in daily, just holding my breath to see what the heck is going to turn my smile upside down. Yep, I generally step in the door, and attempt to start in a positive frame....O.K. I get out of my car, in a positive frame......Fine, I wake up...no, wait...Crap!! The truth is, positive just does not surface at all!!!I was going to write that little white lie, but I know if I do, my co-workers will read it, and then I will have to listen to them state they have never seen this positive side of me, in any door way, except, maybe the one leading out at the end of the day.
Humm..I try and remember back when I was a innocent, 8 years ago, did I go into this job with a smile? I do remember that the job was the choice I made. I had decided after 6 months of living in this small town, cooking 3 course meals for my family, washing the rented trailer ceilings, because there were too many hours in a day, all alone, I had two choices. One was to head directly to the local Cold beer store, and start my new life as a lush, or find myself a job.
The lush choice, did sound pretty appealing, and maybe, just maybe, that was the correct one. I imagine the days going by in a delightful haze, me smiling at everyone, and everything (can't remember if I am a smiling drunk)The kids might have enjoyed this continual state of inebriation, they would have had no curfew, as I would likely have passed out early (I am not a spring chicken, remember). They could easily convince me they had called, as I would be forgetful. They would have had extra spending money, returning my empties....Not sure how meals would have been, but I would have done alot with cookng wine, so maybe they would have been happy with that????
Cripes!!! It is clear, I screwed up!!! Instead of spending my life, sprawled out on the couch, in my margarita stained P.J.'s, watching The Virgin Diaries, and eating corn chips and Reeses Peanut Butter cups (yes, now you all know what I do on my days off), I drag my sorry a** (s's again) off to the next pi** off.
One thing is sure, my job offers a continual supply of small, and more often extremely large pi** offs, that you, very lucky people, have the pleasure of living vicariously through me. Ahhh...if I can manage to pi** off just one other person, maybe enough to cause them to become a lush, this experience is not a total waste.
Hold onto your Pampers, babies, tomorrow is sure to bring something to make me wish I could simply lift my leg , like my beloved dog, and get rid of my overfull bladder.
Geez...do you think the solution to my misery might be that simple?