Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Friday, 2 May 2014

Hate Myself

Obviously, I am not the only member of this group, but, I really hate myself. Trust me, I am probably the president of the Hate Debbie Club. I have tried to tell you it is not only, not easy being green, it is not easy being me!
  I am one of those folks who cannot do a single job. Now...that doesn't mean I am not capable of doing jobs, it simply means..not a single job. I multi-task. Did I do this before children? Hummm..not sure. I know women who have kids, who can totally focus on one thing, and block out anything else that pops into their world, wish I was one of them. Yes, I get my teeth into things, and stick with them, till the bitter end, but...along the way, I am biting at a million other things, chewing bit by bit. Oh to be able to pick a task, finish it, and move onto the next. But...this is where I think raising children messed me up. I remember focusing on cleaning my house, and spending the whole freaking day, doing this job, only to make my way back to the beginning and see, it was exactly the same as it was before I started. So..I learned my way of multi-tasking. a little here, a little there, and every once in awhile, it would be finished, for a second, a moment I should have photographed, so I had proof.
 Now, the kids are grown, but, I can't get out of the little here, little there habit. Oh...BTW, we are really talking about housework here...Not blogging...LOL.could it be a problem only with things I don't like? Is that possible?
  See. my buddy and I came up with an awesome idea. Both of us are at that down-size stage in life. Why not have a garage sale? We can empty out all that stuff that has been packed away, not used for years, and maybe make a few dollars cash, with which we can buy some plants!  Hey, sounds pretty simple, right? Enter the idiot, multi-tasker....I start off at a pretty good pace, this can go, that can go, and then  hummm...glance into my closet..look at all those clothes that have been hanging there, and I haven't used them in forever..out comes a garbage bag, and I begin to empty that out for the thrift store. What's in this box? Oh, look pictures, and letters, I should sit down and go through these...
  I started getting ready for this sale 11 days ago!!! I will be the first to tell you all, I don't have much in the line of la de dahs in my home. I have been attempting for many years to become that amazing minimalist, but, somehow there is clutter all about. Big things like ,end tables, a TV and boxed items that are coated in dust from non-use, those were easy, and now sit in my hallway and living room in stacks. They don't have a place in the minimal world..away they go. However..we get into the nasty little things, movies, books, CD's, ack!! I hate that stuff!!I want to just throw it in the garbage, because it is time consuming, and...truthfully, very little of this belongs to me!! I am treading a fine line, I want it out, but..no one else is here to make the decision, and...once. many years ago, I had the only other garage sale of my life. Apparently, as a Mother, I overstepped the boundaries, and sold off the Power Ranger video collection...this is now something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. So...now I am afraid to put anything into the for sale pile, just in case it is extremely valuable..but...again, we are on a time limit...whatever I don't get out of here by tomorrow, will remain as clutter.
  This simple plan to clear space, has become incredibly stressful. I am down to the last mile, sale is tomorrow. Now it looks like rain, it is frigging cold, I never got close to everything I wanted, I have no clue what price to put on things, I want it all to be over and done with...I am impatient with the poor dogs, my house is a disaster. I have been existing on coffee and hunks of cheese, with a side dish of potato chips and the odd Cream Soda...There is clutter everywhere!!! Whose stupid idea was this?
  It really did seem like a good idea at the moment, but the past 11 days have been sheer h-ll for me. I have come to realize most everything in my home is unnecessary since the invention of the home computer. I accept that a TV and bed are necessities in my life. But, besides that, a pot, a frying pan, a Tassimo, cup and lawnchair, would provide me with everything I need in life. Can you imagine how little housework would be necessary in a home like that?
 So, I only have a few more days of hate, then of course I will be sorely disappointed that I didn't walk away with a pocket full of cash. I will end up looking around at the clutter remaining, and begin a new hate-on that I didn't get rid of it all. There is no end!!!!
  Oh yeah, and it definitely looks like rain out there!!