Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Friday, 9 May 2014

My Scientific Study

Do you ever feel like the world is out to get you?  I believe that there is something I must have done, so very,very bad, that Karma has decided to camp out, over my shoulder forever.
  You know those simple jobs, like,maybe dragging the garden hose a distance, checking the topography out before the drag, ensuring it is clear, only to get just far enough you can see your goal, and suddenly the thing becomes stuck.You shake your head, the area was clear...backtrack to find , somehow, it has managed to uproot a tiny little root that has wrapped itself around the hose 14 times, stopping you in your tracks. That root was not on the surface when you began, it just magically appeared, because you thought the coast was clear. Yeah...that karma.
  That Karma, that when you fill the wash machine up, and ensure it is balanced, wander downstairs and begin something else, only to have to race back up when it starts to spin, to find...a shirtsleeve has woven itself around the spinner. You know you could never wind that sleeve around the spinner if you set out to do it, but..through the magic of my world, this happens on a regular basis. Absolutely incredible stupid sh*t, that is not possible to re-enact, occurs daily to pi$$ me off!
  You know you have done something very bad in the past , when you have your hands full, go to put stuff down, only to have the broom that had been standing in the same corner, coated in cobwebs (been unused so long) decide that is the exact moment it must fall in front of you, as you step on a piece of crunched up dog cookie, statically placed in the perfect spot to cause you to grab for the broom, with your load of whatever falling to the floor, and getting coated in the crumbs from the cookie. Hey, you could never ever foresee this domino effect, but..only in my world, do these things happen on a daily basis.
  I live by Murphy's Law. I am actually blown away, often, on how things can go wrong. Really, just tiny little simple tasks, and they turn into long drawn out affairs, because ...Murphy just throws a wrench into everything. A job that should be carried out in one step, turns into 20 because, somehow , in my world, nothing is ever "normal".
  To be honest, I have watched others struggle with this law. Hey, I laugh when they have to step back, shake their heads, and observe whatever wrench was thrown at them. It happens in the grocery store, when someone picks out a can that seems to be sitting all alone on the shelf, only to have an invisible string tied to a hundred other cans, which follow it off the shelf.
  I realize there are others who suffer with this...I remember many years ago, working a dance night at the local Legion. My co-worker was all dressed up in a skirt and white blouse. She had to use the washroom, which, of course was at the other end of the building. The place was packed, the band was set up in front of the hall to the washroom. Off she went. We saw her returning..in the dim lights, we could see she had somehow stepped on a long piece of toilet paper, which was stuck on her shoe. Oh we laughed, as she made her way, unwittingly through the couples dancing up a storm. As she got to the middle of the dance floor, the band paused..what on earth was up? OMG..she turned to see why it was so quiet, as we saw what Murphy had done to her. She had managed to tuck her skirt into her pantyhose. In front she looked all respectable, except, of course, for the trail of toilet paper stuck to her shoe, but, behind...it was a different story. That was Murphy at his finest.
  I think of her often, I seldom wear a skirt, or dress, but I subconsciously always check to ensure nothing is tucked into pantyhose. She could not have planned any of that. That is just sh*t that happens.
  So, perhaps this is why I have a problem accomplishing something. Even if it seems to be running smoothly, I am just waiting for the wrench. I spend so much time, wondering what is going to go wrong. I wish I could remember exactly what it is I did so wrong, to have the Twilight Zone (do you remember this show?) grinning gremlin attached to me. I would happily try and trade the black Karma for some shiny white stuff. I feel Murphy should stick with Irish folk, because with a name like that, he had to be connected to the Emerald Isles. I think I have had to take more than my share of extra steps for simple jobs, and I am getting far too old to have the energy to dig through all the wrenches.
  Perhaps the solution to all of this, is to do nothing? I think I just might be able to manage that! If I just sit here, maybe the gremlin, Murphy and Karma will decide I am too boring, and head on over to the neighbours? Think I am going to give this a try, lets call it a scientific experiment. I am going to do nothing in the name of science!!!