It's raining it's pouring

Yep, it's here!!! A sure sign of spring is the daily leak search. Some of them are pretty obvious, others like to move about. kind of like looking for the elusive Pine mushrooms. You know they are in the area, but they are sneaky, and move a few feet, or hide behind walls, to show up on the floor. I have never seen leaks like those in my workplace. There must be 15 feet of tar on the roofs, but, somehow the water finds a way in. I remember one room, the whole ceiling caved in. Oh, it was "fixed" and perhaps a month later, open the door to find the bed covered in white stuff and soaking wet, guess the fix didn't work.
   I often think the best thing would be to Duct Tape the whole place. I bet a roof made of glistening Duct Tape would work wonderfully, it would also become a point of interest in this small town. Hey, I bet we could get into the Guinness World Book of Records. Why stop at the roof? I think it would be of some insulating value as well. I have seen the Ice hotels, and the cost of staying in those is pretty high. We could coat the whole darn place in different coloured tape. Furniture, Duct Tape shower surrounds, hey, even the floor would be Duct Tape. We would just have to wipe everything down, and the whole room would be fresh for the next guest! If a rowdy guest ripped a piece off the wall, how inexpensive to repair? I think it would make guests feel comfortable, as they would know the room was clean. Can bugs survive on Duct Tape? I think not!!!! Oh, and we could simply change the colours, everything would be coordinated. We might have to consider guest slippers, to offer some grip, as I would imagine if there is any slanting rooms (we do have a few of those) a person may slide across the room when they get out of bed, and injure themselves.
  Think of the cost savings to the owners...They would be able to do maintenance themselves, just a ginormous supply of rolls of Duct Tape. I bet a person could get in touch with the makers of this amazing stuff, and get it shipped in far larger rolls, maybe wallpaper sized? Forget plumbing issues, wrap that Duct Tape around everything!! No more vacuums, just sponge mops, and cleaning rags.
  Think of the restaurant, Duct taped tablecloths, Duct taped chairs, Duct taped floors, when those messy little kids come in, it is a quick clean up! The waitresses could work in stocking feet, and just zip across the floor, serving customers quickly. They could put bumper bars about the room, just in case someone starts moving too quickly, and they could simply bounce off the bars and get their bearings.
  Hey, I spend plenty of time trying to figure out how to keep my job, if those leaks continue to grow at the speed they are, I will be unemployed in a few years. I am sure my latest solution is viable, now I just have to convince the boss to give it a try, one room at a time.