Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Friday, 25 May 2012

Room from hell

I started this the other day, but for some reason, just could not get the right words down to explain this phenomenon. I describe it as such, because, it is, at all times, out of the ordinary.
  We often can go months without a "Room from hell", but when it occurs, it is always a long term guest.
   We will open the door to this RFH in the beginning, hoping that it is a one time mess, maybe a weekend of binge drinking, and once the work week begins, the mess will shrink. Nope!! Not in this room. The mess continues, and the smells join the garbage.
   They vary, sometimes it will simply be food, snack food scattered about, chips broken on the floor, mud tracked all about, obvious signs of lack of "before bed shower" on the sheets and pillow cases, energy drinks spilled on linen daily, and an apparent aversion to garbage cans. Those rooms cause a instant sigh upon opening the door. Then you add to this mess the smell of parmesan cheese, which tends to emit from socks, yuck!!!! I used to add that cheese to my spaghetti, now I almost gag when I smell the container, because it just reminds me of dirty socks.
   These rooms seldom get a good clean, generally because the laundry will join the potato chips, and we have an unwritten rule, we do not ,usually, sift through dirty floor laundry to open up an area the vacuum can enter. Oh, the bathrooms in these rooms are often decent, and the time we do not use vacuuming, will be given to the tub and toilet, we can dust as well, because the majority of the mess is on the floor.
  The last RFH, however, was the doozy of all rooms. This guest stayed months, and months. The first room they were in, we wondered, the bathtub was lined with products, candles were placed on every possible area (as well as the bathtub)and air fresheners abounded. Now, first, I imagined a person who loved clean, and wanted things to smell fresh, HAH!!! I suppose they loved clean, but did not want to take any part of allowing clean.
   Every blasted day, we would open this door, to find the garbage overflowing. Hey, no aversion to the garbage can, but apparently, unlike all other guests, the size of the can was not sufficient to the amount of garbage collected daily. The coffee table would be loaded, 3 candles, a heaping ashtray, empty cans, 1/2 empty glasses, weed bitties, joints, pills, makeup, you name it, it was on there. There was also a pet involved, daily food would be spewed about his dish, water slopped onto the carpet, candies, hair ties, lingerie, kleenex, and magazines all over the floor. Mud would daily be tracked across the floor, dirty towels by the fridge on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink, and on the table. The bedroom, well that was disgusting!!! I will state that we had to separate the linens from this room, they were set aside, only be be reused in this room. They were so stained, we could not clean them, therefore destroyed. Clothing was everywhere, candies on the bedspread, on the floor, perfume and smelly stuff littered the dresser, mixed with medication and weed. The bathroom, well, that broke even the strongest of us...for some reason they used a blender on the bathroom sink?????? The tub, as before, had about 20 products lined along it, with at least one opened roll of toilet paper, of course, always, without fail, there would be clothing beside the bathtub.
  Our course of action had to change for this RFH, as this guest was continually calling to complain about the poor housekeeping!!! She actually had the nerve to inform one of my co-workers that she worked very long hours, and how nice it would be to come back to a clean room!!!! HUH?????? We did our best, we washed the floors on a continual basis, we lifted everything off that damn coffee table and wiped it down, there were times we did not empty the ashtray, as our rule is, do not throw out roaches.....her tub was washed every day, her linens were changed almost daily, her carpet was vacuumed every second day, yet, this was not good enough, she wanted the vacuuming every day, and she wanted her coffee pot lifted and cleaned under...O.K. sweetie...the last time I did that, I lifted your can of coffee as well, and found your stash under it....
  She often would not go to work, and we would enter this RFH to find all the candles burning, call out "Housekeeping" with no reply, wander gingerly in, and lo and behold, she would be passed out in the bed. If she lifted her slumbering (drugged) head in response, we would ask "do you need anything" which she would always reply...." just go ahead " and wave her arms in the air, apparently signally she wanted everything cleaned but the bed she was lying in. Once she replied that she just needed towels...towels were left, and an hour or so later when she came to, she was on the phone to the office claiming her room had been missed.
  The day this RFH emptied, was a day to celebrate. Oh, the mess was enormous, but the thrill we feel when we can clean a room from top to bottom erasing the stink and all signs of the disgrace to humanity, is awesome. I cleaned and bleached everything in that room, and today, I walked in, and I was pleased....the next guest to go into this room, will have no clue they have entered the previous RFH Grand Supreme (yes I watch Toddlers in Tiaras)!
  Now, I honestly pray that this will remain the worst RFH, as I cannot imagine having anything worse than this. It would have to include wild game, and perhaps the Beverly Hillbillies ...OMG, could happen!!