Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Friday, 4 March 2016

Old Age Stinks!

  Hey! Figured I would be nice today, for a change. Why not give some folks a heads up, on what is coming down the road, as they get old. I can do this..because Holy Cow!! I AM old!! I know, I have not hit retirement age , just yet, but it's pretty close..Just figured it out, I will reach the age the government decided (well,,sorry, I am lucky enough to be able to stick with the age that was decided before they spent all the pension money, and calculated a new "Old" age) I will be allowed to access the big pot of dwindling pension money, when my grand-daughter turns 21.
  No big deal, old as I am, I also realize I am far from ready to sit back in the rocking chair and knit..mostly because #1. I don't own a rocking chair, and #2. I can't knit! Oh, I have some plans that will keep me busy, and at the rate I have been going, in another 5 years, I will likely welcome not "working".
  But, really weird sh*t happens as one gets up there. Sure there is a ton of physical crap, which in my case, sort of happened out of the blue. The normal aches and pains, crunchy knees, nagging back, the odd twisted finger (yes mine is the middle finger, likely from over use) sore feet, dry skin, dry hair, those were expected, and...sadly had to be accepted.The wrinkles, well, again, I had an idea how to get rid of those, my tiny brain seems to think..if I eat, and eat, and pack on about 40-50 lbs, I imagine those wrinkles will simply disappear..could happen, not quite ready to give it a try, but..perhaps this will be a blog for a future time?
  The really strange stuff is not visible. The smells..F*ck, that is the most bizarre. I have a large nose, I have hated my inherited honker since I was about 7. Honest to goodness, at that young age, I had dreams of getting wealthy enough to change it..but..the thing has hung around, it does it's job, now it is doing beyond expectations. Smells drive me batty! I enjoy savouring the nice smells, like blossoms on trees, and rain, and even dirt. I am not offended by barnyard smells, because they are outdoor smells, and mixed in with the poop, there is fresh air, and grass, and animal dander, all smells I enjoy. It's the inside stinks. I can walk into my workplace, and have a stench hit me so hard, I step back. I will spend days and weeks, attempting to discover where the h-ll the smell is coming from. I smell plastic, one of my most stomach churning stinks. Garbage bags stink more than garbage! I am seriously considering inventing (or has it been done already?) some sort of wax paper lined bag that can be used for garbage. Glad bags do not make me glad!
  Drains in sinks and bathtubs..have to pour bleach down them, because somehow, whatever is down there makes me want to gag a wee bit. Those damn bags of salads..Yuck!! WTF is in that bag? O.K. I find that burst of foul odor almost retchable, but..for some strange reason, I can manage the stink that bursts forth when opening a bag of my ever present Lay's Potato chips.
  I do hate packaging. No matter what, it actually stinks..paper and cardboard never smelled like this crap! I hate plastic packaged meats..not sure why, but it just doesn't seem fresh, it has a stink when it is opened. Once I smell that, I just do not want to eat whatever it contains. Tinned stuff, well not a problem, however again, we must endure that locale issue, so..if it doesn't come from someplace acceptable, it is not edible.
  I admit, I have always been a fussy eater. Hey! I know, I don't look like I have appetite problems, but...most of this comes from salt, sugar, bread and butter..life's basics as far as I am concerned. But, the biggest problem, as I have aged, I have lost trust in what stores are selling people for food. I see bacon, looks great in the package, cook it up, and dump a pan full of whatever out, to pull a couple of tiny morsels out. Hellooo!! That is NOT right!! Pigs are not full of water. I eat a sh*t load of cheese, but..even that worries me, stuff will mold real fast, even when stored properly, and it just doesn't cut like it used to..sometimes it isn't even the correct colour..how orange does cheese have to be?
  I smell meat when it is cooking..sometimes, I know there is no way I am going to swallow any of it down..it stinks!
  Is it because I grew up before chemicals became so readily accepted for consumption? Even freaking ice cream! How did they manage to mess up ice cream? Geez Louise, when food frightens me, there is something badly wrong! I don't need chemicals, if I wanted them, I would "Google" Timothy Leary, and really indulge.
  Folks today have no concept on taste, or smell, because everything has been treated with something extra. Even clothing stinks. Shoes smell, packaged socks smell, bed linens stink to high heaven, and I have had quite a bit of experience with that stuff. When a white sheet washed 3 times in the laundry, suddenly has tiny red threads in it, or a white towel with blue and red threads that appear all by themselves...something is very wrong! We are eating, wearing and sleeping on stuff we have no clue of, and it all stinks!!! Hey, ever lay on new carpeting? Wow, there is a stink you will never forget!Foam beds..yuck..horrible smell.
  Either these chemical additives have become rampant in the past 5 years, or my sniffer has suddenly gone into overdrive. When dogs turn their noses up at their bowls of food, and a container of margarine (much healthier than that nasty butter) is not appealing to a dog that cannot resist butter, and..we all have read exactly WTF margarine is..but hey, stores still carry shelves full of the stuff, there is something very wrong!
   So, I guess it is time to use my super "old" powers... Time to put the sniffer to the test. Life doesn't have to stink...