Some days, my mind just won't rest. Now today, with a bag of potting soil sitting outside on my patio table, tiny green sprouting things getting taller and taller in their tiny little peat pots, and all that was bare yesterday, coated in snow...my mind is bubbling.Perhaps it is because I am feeling imprisoned? I could clean, I could read, I could even watch TV, but, no....I would have to concentrate on the task at hand, and it is clear that tiny glob of grey matter,is not going to cooperate.
Today, someone sent me off in a direction I never went before. They offered up a single word, and requested I search for it's meaning. What I found was amazing. I am fully aware that my inept use of grammar, likely drives some insane, and they would find it surprising how much I love words, but I do! This single word, and it's definition, has made me understand myself, if only a little.
If you think I awake each day, knowing exactly what I am going to go off on a rant about, you are so wrong. I actually astound myself, when I feel obliged to throw my own personal opinions out to the world, but, it has become second nature. Something flies into the blank area, and I start picking away at the keyboard
. I know I am different, because if I wasn't, there would be a whole whack of others blogging.Ooops, silly me, there are! But, in my tiny little world, I am pretty much alone with this passion and , I realize it is a passion, uncontrollable or not. I enjoy the chance to have my say, and I know it is me at my most vulnerable, it is what I have inside, open to the whole world.
The word I was given was "Enlightenment". I read, and I recognized, and knew the true meaning, and I felt I had found the source of what drives me to do this. Seldom does one single word, make such a huge impression on me, but this has answered my own question, on why I do this.
Sorry, I am not going to tell you what I found. If you are at all interested, go check it out. Maybe you will find an answer for yourself,or maybe you will begin to question. I am very grateful I searched, and found an answer. I understand what I do is not wrong, it is not hurtful. I am simply on a path that leads in a direction I chose to travel.