I have deleted a couple of drafts, simply, because....My life has enough crapola in it, to add any more, and I have had to sit myself down, and do some serious thinking. I had actually thought of giving this incredible job up, yep...remember the "age inappropriate" blog? I just finished 6 days of harsh work, coming home each day all stressed out, and dumping my complaints on my Honey and friends. I got to the point where I hated myself, along with various sundry others. Have you ever had a job like that? I keep telling myself, I am there simply to receive a pay check, but...I also realize with my small amount of common sense, and my 1/2 century and some of having work ethics drummed into me, I had to produce, to feel deserving of the pay, right? I have plenty of days when I don't feel like pushing myself, cripes, it takes energy just to lift my aged body out of bed, and then to start my morning with a heaping plate of work, is difficult. I wish I was younger all the time. I remember those days, working all day, and then having left over energy to actually have a life. At my age, if I give as much as this job requests, I have nothing left for life. I look at others, they are younger, they likely have a life when they go home, and I am jealous. I am also confused, though, as most co-workers don't seem to realize that I am far older, and yet they accept that somehow, I can manage to do a large chunk of the work, and then have something left to tackle unending laundry.
Well, surprise!!! I can't do this non-stop. It seems that I have hit the proverbial wall. Besides returning home dead tired, I am continually stressed. I have been here before, quite a few times during this job, but, this time, I have decided that rather than going in until the last straw finally breaks on my back, I will try a different tactic. This has me doing what I perceive as my fair share. Now, no worries, as I stated, I have a lot of years of work ethics stuffed down my throat, I will not be sluffing, I will simply be doing what is physically and mentally acceptable, and what I expect everyone else to do. I have never expected anyone to do more than me, or something I wasn't capable of doing myself. That is unrealistic. But, lately, I have found myself asking my Buddy, why we are doing so much more than we ask of most, and what we have been doing, is unrealistic to ask of anyone. I told you before, my friend is the skinnier, more energetic, and far nicer person, than myself. She may feel capable of doing more than me, because she is . Myself, I have no doubt that I have reached my limit. You can blame this on years of caffine, nicotine, and potato chips, but sadly, I can't take those years back, and admittedly, still consume everything on that list. Perhaps, if I had a clue back when I started those nasty habits, that I would be working my butt off at 56 years old, I would have given them up (NOT!!). But, whats done is done, and if I am to continue this fantabulous career (YUCK), I will have to make these changes.
I am pleased to say, I am now on days off. I am enjoying a life outside a hotel room, and accomplishing things that I dream about while scrubbing toilets. I have made this decision, and feel like a weight has been lifted. I think I may have a few more years of housekeeping left in me, if I can just do the job of 1, and not 1 1/2. So no worries, you will still have the pleasure of more tales from the Toilet scrubbers.