Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Med-Forman???

No, this is NOT some knock off Grill, no need for George to worry at all. I wrote the word, and I am unsure if the spelling is correct, but, this is the word I heard, and therefore, it is what I will use.
  O.K. I realize that when I write these stories, there may very well be someone out there who reads it, and may have known the person I write about (or perhaps think they sound familiar). Let me say, this person has not been here for many years, so if there is some similarity to someone you know, I apologize, (kind of).
  Many years ago, back at the beginning of my "wonder years", we had a long term guest stay at the outlying units. He was a snot, to say the least, had his girlie magazines mixed with a ton of medication, kind of made a person wonder how he had any energy to think Girls ,when he had a pill for every minute of the day. This twit was on his own most of the time, but....every once in a while his nasty skunk of a wife would show up, for a conjugal visit. All right, maybe there was no conjugal going on, but, with the amount of magazines, a person had to imagine he had some sort of sex drive. Yeech..now that I write this, the vision appears, and it is horrible. I am not one to imagine other people having nookie, but these two should have been banned from copulation!
  Anyhow....He was not too bad alone, except...he was a power pooper. I know, we all have experience this at some point in life, (well I have)but this was daily. Each morning upon entering his bathroom, you would be confronted with a brown toilet. Hey, we wondered what on earth this man was up to, he didn't cook for himself, so obviously he ate at the hotel restaurant, but we didn't find this in other guests toilets..hummmm..
  Well, enter the "skunk" wife. I have to tell you about this one. She was never seen in anything but her nightgown. She was not young, and certainly not nubile, just a withered old crone (much more withered than yours truly). Apparently our maintenance man had the pleasure of a close encounter of the not so nice kind with this woman. He happened to show up to do some work in the unit, just after she got out of the shower. Guess she didn't dry properly, and her nightgown would not go down in the back, she apparently requested his assistance....yuck. My friend had this same request, more than once. She was warped, beyond imagination, and would always want to chatter. Most of the time it was all of her complaints, some about the unit, some about her husband, some about the town, or her job, or her very favourite, medical issues. I am sorry, I sympathize with close friends who have medical issues, I want to hear how they are doing, but listening to a complete stranger with a litany of diseases, and sores, is not in my job description. She was another of those women that would not leave the room while you cleaned.
  Not sure if I have mentioned this in the proper hotel guest list of rules, but please leave if you want your room cleaned!
  So, back to the Skunk. She became one of those dreaded jobs, we never wanted to go to that door alone, just in case she needed nightgown assistance, or something of that sort. On one day, she solved the brown toilet mystery when she was on a medical issue rant. It appeared that her beloved husband was the culprit. He was on this magic Med- Forman, which , perhaps those of you who have had the pleasure of this medication know, causes power pooping.
  Now, when we come upon a brown splattered porcelain throne, the first word out of our mouths is Med-Forman. It doesn't make the cleaning any easier, but we like to think that the pooper had no choice, and also that they are an over nighter, and we will not have the scrub fest the next day.
  As you can see, we are very educated on prescription drugs, one of the many perks of our profession. Who knew the amazing amount of trivia tidbits we would collect, simply from cleaning up after strangers. I have been blessed with so much useless information, and you, beloved readers, will continue to be privy to all I have learned, bit by sorry bit.