Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Kitchen Utensil Sex Toys

Well, I see I have finally figured out how to put the title up with the story!
  Now, please note, this story is originally known as the "Frying Pan Frac" episode, however, as many of you reading do not know Oil and Gas language, I have titled it, so everyone can follow along.
  I will have to explain some of the Frac stuff, however, because it does have bearing on the story, but as usual, we will keep things a little under wrap, and, actual names will not be used to protect the innocent (or in this case, not so innocent).You must also understand, I am not a Petroleum Engineer, so I can only state basics of the Frac part of things. Somewhere in the midst of Oil and Gas wells, they have Fracs. This is a huge thing, and big crews often are needed to do this job. They come with big trucks that do stuff with water, full of gauges, and the work is hard and very dirty. I have seen some of these crews after a days work, they are obviously in pretty good shape, and their jobs often are extremely physical. These crews have a set job to do, and often they are never sure when the job will be finished. Many times we have done strips in Frac crew rooms, because they have packed everything away, only to come in the next day, to find they have used the rooms again, and again, packing up to be ready, in case the job is over. I know Frac crews are a commodity in the business, and they are booked well in advance, so as soon as they finish one Frac, they are on to the next.
  This Frac crew, in particular also had the stigma of a sexual nature attached to their company name. It was simply 2 Letters.. O.K. that's as far as we go in that direction. However, I mentioned that, simply because Housekeeping staff had a few chuckles over the name, long before things occurred.
  So, our employer puts part of this crew up in the little house. It's kind of an oddball part of the hotel, set off by itself, nestled amongst trees, kind of cute actually. The house has 3 bedrooms, 2 are normal sized, one is "the closet", it is so tiny it holds one single bed, and a light bulb with a string hanging down to turn it off and on.There was a queen bed in one room, and 2 singles in the other. We tried to make sure the two single beds had a space large enough between, with a little end table, to let a person feel they had some room. First day, heading into clean, we found the two single beds together, hummm..maybe it was one guy, and he needed room? So we made them up, as usual, and thought nothing of it. Second day, beds together, again, hey, no big deal.One of the Housekeepers complained because she was always having to change the sheets in this room, because of "skidmarks", but, again, a constant of the job.
  I can't remember how long these guys were with us. I did not have the pleasure of working the day this house was to be a strip, so what I tell you, is from the lips of my buddy, who figured she had seen it all, until that day!And, I also feel the need to state, both my friend and I are not prudes, neither of us normally care what the heck folks do behind closed doors, so that said, onwards with the story.
  My friend went up to strip the house, as she started the strip, she wondered to herself when she walked into the 2-bed room, why on earth the frying pan was on the floor beside a bed. Her thought was," Perhaps they had a dog, and used it as a food dish". She picked the pan up, and threw it in the sink, along with all the dirty dishes that were left. She had other jobs to do, so decided to leave this for the time being, and get on with her work. One of the younger girls that had started with the hotel showed up, complaining she wasn't feeling well, and was tired, so my friend told her to just go over to the house, and wash the dishes. Off she trundled, about an hour later, she shows back up to tell my friend that "the frying pan smelled like poop". Cripes, back to the house, figuring this girl is just looking for any excuse not to work, but, upon inspection, it became totally clear, not only did it smell like poop, the handle was covered in it!!!
  Now for those of you concerned, all dishes went directly into the garbage. We could not assume other utensils were not involved. The employer had to be notified, and this was done by the Head of Housekeeping explaining that "Guests had been using Kitchen Utensils as Sex toys".
  I know, often in my life, I have had to use makeshift things to get jobs done, but really.....I thought my imagination was pretty wild, however, what on earth could possess someone to look at a frying pan, and come up with this idea????
  You can be sure we are far more careful now when we pick up pots and pans about kitchens, almost want to "Glove Up" to touch handles. We have considered bringing this incident up at safety meetings with new staff, but realize, this may frighten them off. The story is now only told when someone has been with us long enough to simply double check before lifting dirty pots and pans.