Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Sunday, 18 March 2012

Princess Kiss My A$$

Some days, when I finish work, I find myself in a state of mind where I need to spew some of the venom that has accumulated over the years towards certain guests. I realize with this media, I must be careful not to commit some sort of legal faux pas, so I will wander into this story very slowly and carefully.
  Now, every spring in our little hamlet, brings not only the welcome sound of the Geese returning, it also brings the horrible reality of returning long term guests. These long term guests usually work for a specific  corporation, and arrive in April to haunt our every day, until the fall. We have a few of them, and they all have nicknames. The one who has been taking up brain space, lately is one of our most disliked. She came for years, and made our lives a total living hell.It may seem bizarre that one single woman can make every single Housekeeper on staff cringe, but this one was more than capable.
  She would arrive with her husband, and the phone calls to the office would start immediately. It would be small things, the oven was not working properly, baking that she had done for years at a certain temperature was burning, she needed the oven replaced. Then it would be the bed. One day my friend and I had to haul mattresses and box springs up and down 4 sets of stairs, because her husband's back bothered him. Oh, one bonus, we never had to make the bed, heavens no, our linen was not up to her specifications, she brought her own. Oh, she also ensured that the company supplied her with a washer and dryer (not offered by the hotel) these would be installed, and doors removed for easy access. Waxed floors would have to be stripped because the husband wore his slippers inside out, and it was too dangerous. She also insisted that dish cloths and towels had to be a certain type, and were to be replaced daily without fail. Towels were to be specific as well. I remember one day in particular all the clean towel sets were thrown in a pile, because apparently someone in town  had been burning in their yard, and she detected wood smoke smell on the clean towels! The most annoying part of this woman was, she refused to leave when we were to do a weekly in her "house"(these are row houses, with 3 floors to be cleaned).
  Now, years ago, she arrived, and we were informed by the office to be ready for our nightmare, simply by being told that "the princess is back". Lord love us, the hairs on our arms instantly stood up, muscles clenched, and colour drained from our faces. We stood our ground with the office, we insisted they tell her she was to leave when we did her weekly, stating that no one would clean while she sat there watching and ordering us about like slaves. Hah!! What a commotion that caused. Her husband went directly to the office and told them that was not about to happen, they paid for the place, they were not going to leave it so housekeeping could wander about their personal stuff!!! First, bear in mind, these people did not pay for diddly, their company paid every penny of their hotel bill. Now , this company is big, and our employer did not want to rock the boat, so... yep, you guessed it, we were told we had to follow the Princesses rules.
   My friend and I were the  lucky ones to head over for the dreaded first meeting. Oh, we were sick, months and months of this woman to endure, every single day we had to cater to whatever whim she chose to drop on us. I can remember us discussing how the office had called her "the princess" and I can clearly see my friend stepping out of the car to head to the door, and out of her mouth came the words "Princess!!! Princess Kiss my A$$, is who she is!" I have never known a nickname to fit so well, this was absolutely perfect. She has remained Princess Kiss my A$$ to this day, and is known by this throughout the land.
  The nickname did not make her any nicer, it certainly did not lift the heavy burden of making our way to her door day after day, never sure what we would have to listen to in line of complaints. But, we did have the satisfaction of knowing each time we went through her castle, if she felt she was the one in control, she was sadly mistaken. I know, I had the control, I was the one who could wipe her toilet rim with the same cloth I wiped the back of her toilet, where she laid her toothbrush. O.K. ..sounds nasty, but, she really should have put the damn toothbrush someplace better than on the toilet!
  So, just a heads up, make sure you are nice to the lowly toilet scrubber, if not, rinse your toothbrush well.