Favourite Books

  • The Green Mile
  • Animal Farm
  • Lord of the Flies
  • Lord of the Rings
  • To Kill a Mockingbird

Sunday, 25 March 2012

Skidmarks and other surprises

Ahhh..the many surprises us Housekeepers are left. The problem is, very few of them are welcome. My regular nasty surprise is the "Skidmark". I am sure you all know what those are on the roads, in our line of work, they appear on the sheets. The human mind works in strange ways, and these marks conjure up horrible visions, as we are positive how they happen, from the placement on the sheets. Now, picture this, Joe Blow gets up in the morning, pulls back the sheets, and wanders in to perhaps shower, and then sit down to empty his body before beginning another day. All well, and fine, however, he lacks proper wiping etiquette.Next on the list of morning to-dos is to put on his underwear and socks, and this is done by sitting on the bed. The lack of proper wiping is then transfered to the sheets, and as he rises to put on his underwear, it smears, leaving.....a "skidmark". Now we may chose to simply pull up those sheets, and let him sleep with his mark. It depends on a few things, is this mark a daily occurrence, and did we change everything the day before? Is it low enough that it will not be seen upon him crawling in at night? Maybe we just are fed up with the mess in his room, and figure he can darn well live with it, or perhaps his weekly is due the next day, and no sense in changing things. Bet you never thought this job would carry so much decision making, right?
  Facecloths are another issue. Now, I have never been a part of any aspect of the "Sex Trade" but I did have to sit through Guidance class in school, and I do watch TV. I also had 3 children, so I know a little about Spermazodes. I hate spermazodes, you are never sure where you will find their burial place, but face cloths seem to be a favourite place. Come on...you know what I am talking about. Our imaginations are not keener than the average person, yet we can visualize exactly what happened,especially when they are a hardened clump, after one use.  We have changed so many rooms to brown towels, the white ones tend to hide things much better. To ease your minds, these are washed in hot water,LOL.Much as I hate picking up wads of toilet paper, I would prefer those to the face cloths, and will tell you, personally I will never use a hotel face cloth on my face. I have developed a phobia, although I am sure they are sanitary, the knowledge of where they may have been before me, just will not escape me.
  Now I realize guys have to shave, especially guys that work in the oil patch. I understand this is likely a job they hate, but I think housekeepers hate it even more. Those freaking hairs are a real pain in the butt to remove from a sink, but an accepted part of our job. Now, though, it seems these blasted trimmers are the newest fad, guys are trimming beards, sideburns, and whatever else, leaving a sink full of 1/2 a lb. of hair, and even stranger, it appears we have some guests who decide to give themselves haircuts, well, truth be told, I think they remove all their hair!!! We are finding the bathroom garbage bags full of hair. Is there something C.I.S. should be investigating going on in our hotel rooms? Maybe a serial murderer that is shaving bodies and stashing them about the hotel?
  Oh, and then we have the shower toothbrushers. I know they want to have those few extra minutes to sleep, and may be attempting to get everything done in a short period of time, but really, trying to scrub hardened toothpaste out of a bathtub, knowing that it was spit out of someone's mouth, is Yuckable.I can go on about things that come out of people's mouths that I have the "pleasure" of rubbing away at with a cloth, making sure my hand does not come in contact with, but figure, I will leave that for a later time.
  I end this spew with the thought, am I going to put the hotels out of business, by frightening all my readers so much, they don't dare sit on the bed? Oh, I know, everyone who would be reading this, practice the art of proper wiping, right?